From The Depths Of DVD Hell

Pom Poko

2012-01-24T14:09:00.000-08:00

Title: Pom Poko
Director: Isao Takahata
Released: 1994
Staring: Shinchô Kokontei, Makoto Nonomura, Yuriko Ishida, Norihei Miki, Nijiko Kiyokawa, Shigeru Izumiya

Plot: A community of magical shape shifting Tanuki (or Raccons depending on your translation) battle to save their forest home from being destroyed by urban development

Review: While studio Ghibli’s films may make them one of the best known anime studios in the world, there are still films in the back catalogue which are still unfairly looked over and this film is certainly a prime example of this, especially as it rarely gets a mention when the films of Ghibli are discussed, outside of perhaps a passing comment over several of the films more risque moments.

Based on an idea by Studio Ghibli founder Hayao Miyazaki, “Pom Poko” is one of only three Ghibli films to be directed by the studios co-found Takahata who had previously been responsible for two of Ghibli’s most grown up films “Grave of the Fireflies” and “Only Yesterday” the latter whose release was blocked by Disney due to its references of menstruation, which they couldn’t remove due to a clause in their contract with Ghibli which prevented them editing their films and leaving the film effectively in a legal black hole. “Pom Poko” however is a much more fantastical film while still featuring a strong emphasis on the environment, a favourite theme of Miyazaki and one that has frequently featured throughout Ghibli’s films and here it provides the strong central theme of this film.

Shown from the perspective of the tanuki, who are all gifted with the power to change their appearance from their natural appearance to human raccoon hybrids, who over the years have learned to speak and write Japanese aswell as nominating their own Emperor seeing how they frequently refer to the years of Pompoko. As a side effect of this, they have also developed an inability to remain serious for any length of time, aswell as a worry addiction to TV and Junk food as well as spontaneous partying.

The tanuki throughout the film generally have three main forms with their first being their everyday raccoon form which the human population see’s them as, while their second main form is their more humanoid form which they use when together and out of the sight of human eyes and their third and final form is more of an excuse to pay homage to anime style of Shigeru Sugiura which is far more cartoonish form and generally serves as an in-between form between their first and second forms and generally used when they feel sad or lose control of their humanoid form usually after being hit in the head or panic’d by one of their fellow tanuki.

Some tanuki however are able to this ability to transform further and morph into not only object but take on a human forms as well as more fantastic creations, but it is a not universal gift varying greatly as humorously shown during the initial metamorphosis training, a major plot point which later become integral to the plotline as members of the group are faced with choosing between their own survival and that of their fellow tanuki.

While featuring familiar tones of Richard Adam’s “Watership Down” especially in terms of it’s setting with man’s constant development into the surrounding forests being the main plot and threat here, though unlike that story it is a considerably lighter tone which this film takes and certainly features none of the warrens of blood or rabid characters that the questionable (in terms of the suitable nature of it’s content) childhood classic featured and although it’s a largely comic and fantastical tone throughout it still manages to get it’s message across while even tacking on a nice subtle environmental message in it’s closing thoughts.

What however is slightly more questionable here is the character design which makes no beef about making it’s characters genders clear, as the male tanuki are amusingly drawn with scrotums which even more amusing are used later as a form of attack, aswell as providing my personal highlight when we are treated to the sight of Gonta and his followers parachuting into battle and using their scrotum’s as parachutes in a scene which has to be seen to believed. Still these prominent genitals however are not so much a way of providing a few cheap laughs (and no doubt irking a few more sensitive parents), but due to prominent genitals being an integral part of tanuki folk law, but needless to say this is covered for in the dubbed version were they are referred to as “pouches”, something thankfully left unchanged for the subtitled version.

Faced with the constant city expansion which continues to take over more and more of their forest home, the tanuki are frequently forced to come up with more and more elaborate schemes to combat the human intrusion, frequently using their shape shifting abilities to carry out their plans, culminating in a warped street parade of ghosts and demons, while the tanuki are also frequently forced to use their humanoid forms to fight the human developers, especially at the end were Gonta and his loyal followers launches a full scale attack while the elders fight the constant struggle of keeping their powers secret or to expose themselves to the humans. However it’s this constant struggle for their territory does however mean that it frequently lacks the warmth of some of the other Ghibli titles which has lead to much criticism in the past, but then Takahata as with previous Ghibli films has frequently avoiding sticking to these so called rules or context and storytelling and never being afraid to push the studios boundaries he once again sticks to his own style, even though in comparison to his other two films he has directed for the studio, this is considerably lighter in tone.

The other main problem the film suffers from is that despite a generous run time, it frequently feels like the tanuki are essentially just recycling the same plan over and over and while their morphing antics are frequently humorous, it does however feel like their plans never seem to be overly affective as sure most of it is a treat to watch, but you can't help but wonder what the point is?

Despite it's flaws it still remains one of the lesser watched titles in the Ghibli back catalogue and one certainly worth giving a look, while showing a diffrent side to Ghibli frequently overlooked in favour of thier more popular titles, yet still packed with enough humour and warmth as to not loose the no doubt already devoted followers.

Inseminoid

2012-01-15T13:16:00.000-08:00

Title: Inseminoid
Director: Norman J. Warren
Released: 1981
Staring: Robin Clarke, Judy Geeson, Jennifer Ashley, Stephanie Beacham, Steven Grives, Barrie Houghton, Rosalind Lloyd, Victoria Tennant, Trevor Thomas, Heather Wright

Plot: A group of interplanetary archaeologists investigating a series of seemingly abandoned ruins are thrown into chaos when one of them, Sandy (Geeson), is attacked and impregnated by a monstrous creature, which also turns her into a crazed killer intent on hunting down her fellow crewmates.

Review: It was somewhere around the halfway mark of this film, that I actually realised, that I was not watching the film the film I thought I had originally set down to watch, having somewhere along the line confused this film with “Creepozoids” (1987) which had been the film I had originally wanted to review, yet thanks to my confusions with titles I now found myself watching this “Alien” (1979) cash in instead.

One of several “Alien” cash in’s which came in the wake of it's release, all with vastly varying quality, with this film certainly not half as much fun as one of the better ones “Xtro 2: The Second Encounter” (1991) which memorably picked it’s favourite parts from “Alien” and “Aliens” to create a sequel which had absolutely nothing to do with the original “Xtro” (1983). However upon its release it was a radical departure from what had been established as British horror, by choosing a futuristic setting rather than the more favoured gothic setting of the Hammer Films, but all too soon you find yourself drawing similarities between “Alien” and this film, which is ultimatly a lot less gratuitous than this film, especially as it didn’t feature it’s lead actress being impregnated by an alien with a Perspex penis. Still looking at the frenzied and homicidal Sandy running around attacking her crew mates I couldn’t help but draw similarities between these scenes and the screenshots seen in the “Prometheus” trailer which also seem to show something strangely similar happening, though here's hoping that Ridley Scott hasn't decided to return the favour and rip this film off.

Funded in part by legendary Kung Fu producers “The Shaw Brothers” and made on a minimal budget of £1 million, the film would be shot in the UK, despite being given a distinctively American look, with the production shot almost entirely at Chislehurst Caves in Kent, while the island of Gozo near Malta substitutes for the desolate landscape of the alien planet and Warren certainly makes the most of such a limited budget and racks up a surprisingly decent body count, though it’s clear from the handful of alien shots we get, that this is were he cut the most corners as rather than anything resembling HR Giger’s now legendry creations we get what looks like a dime store puppet and no doubt explains why despite it’s setup, we spend most of the film watching Sandy running around like a frenzied lunatic and baring her teeth and generally killing any member of the crew who gets near here.

Due to working with such a low budget another noticeable sacrifice is with the soundtrack which is largely comprised of experimental synthesiser tracks which have such a hit and miss rate, it frequently kills any tension with Warren does manage to create, which made me wish that he had could have argued for a little more budget to get an orchestral score instead.

The plot is largely a nonsensical mess with Warren leaving it to the audience to piece it all together while leaving huge plot holes at nearly every turn with one crew member randomly becoming possessed after coming into contact with a bunch of crystals randomly left lying around for no real reason, while another crew member randomly commits suicide by cutting through her leg with a chainsaw as part of a half assed attempt to free her trapped leg (possibly a more enjoyable experience than watching this film) though this could also be more to do with the sudden realisation of the sort of movie she was in. This randomness continues until Warren clearly just figured that a frenzied Sandy was enough of a threat without really bothering to focus to much on the promised aliens and instead tries to further cover for it, by turning the film into a weird futuristic slasher. Meanwhile the character development is so non existent outside of this is Bob/Fred/Ethel etc and they do something or some importance to the mission and that is about the best you get, making these characters actually lower in the chain than your usual disposable slasher fodder, who normally have something to distinguish between them other than the fact that they are wearing different outfits, not that your really give much of a rats ass about these characters as none are particularly memorable bar Sandy and that’s only because she’s the only member of the crew frequently trying to kill of the others, aswell as some serious over acting on the part of Geeson who really seems determined to make the most of the role.

Warren here is clearly aiming for the sleaze factor; just incase the idea of a cheap looking alien impregnating a woman didn’t already give it away and the impregnation scene is suitably bizarre as a naked Sandy is forced to lye on a table, while the film cuts between gratuitous nudity shots and that now infamous Perspex penis, all while the soundtrack gets weird and for some unknown reason it also starts raining space pixie dust and god knows why the Doctor is in this scene, but alas these are just more questions you will no doubt be left asking if you manage to make it through to the end credits which could essentially just be watched instead as each of the cast are shown first playing their character before then cutting to their characters death scene, which leads me to the sole good thing this film has to offer and that is that you do not only get a very generous body count, but also a bunch of truly inventive kills with spear gun and what looks like a cattle prod all coming into play, while we are also treated to a random cannibalistic impulse by Sandy and it’s these moments were the film almost redeems itself, it’s just a shame that Warren fails to invoke even the most basic of feeling for these characters, which ultimately takes a lot away from these numerous kills.

Despite threatening a sequel with it’s ending, this would thankfully fail to come to anything bare the occasional rumour, leaving this film as the curiosity it is and with absolutely zero interest from myself to see more, after all if I wanted to see an alien wanting to reproduce with humans, I’d honestly rather just dig out “Species” instead.

Taxidermia

2012-01-10T22:57:00.000-08:00

Title: Taxidermia
Director: György Pálfi
Released: 2006
Staring: Csaba Czene, Trócsányi Gergõ, Marc Bischoff, Gyuricza István, Molnár Piroska, Máté Gábor, Hegedüs D. Géza, Stanczel Adél

Plot: The story of three generations of men from the same family starting with military orderly Morosgoványi (Czene) during the Second World War, moving onto his son Balatony Kálmán (Gergõ) an aspiring speed-eater during the Cold War and finally ending in the modern day with his Grandson Balatony Lajoska (Bischoff) a master Taxidermist, with all three driven by their own personal obsessions.

Review: While most bizarre or surreal movies such as the kind David Lynch has spent most of his career crafting, usually start off with atleast some sense of normality before spinning on what ever crazy path that the director has choosen to take. Director Pálfi however it would seem here has chosen to take the opposite track, by throwing the audience straight into the insanity and slowly bring the audience back to normality, for we are barely minutes into the film before we witness the hair lipped Morosgoványi not only engaging in one of his numerous sexual perversions (of which there are quite a few), but also turning his penis into a flamethrower! It was also at this point that I remembered why I no longer talk to my parents about the films I review on this blog.

Essentially three short films woven together, the second story moves the proceedings slightly more towards normality as we are introduced to Morosgoványi's son Kálmán and more graphically to the surreal world of speed eating, which in the hands of Pálfi is not the same happy go lucky competitions you may find at the county fair or featuring tiny asian ladies packing away 60 hotdogs in a minuite, but rather tests of sheer gastronomic fortitude as competitors challenge each other under strict time limits to seemingly eat their own weight in a variety of foods including one competition which see’s them attempting to consume gigantic blocks of jellied horse meat, while later scenes of a training camp for potential new champions see’s potentials eagerly shovelling semolina into their mouths ironically from a pig trough, with these scenes frequently followed by competitors purging themselves for the next round. Still it not all gorging and vomit for within this story of Kálmán and his highly competitive battle to be the best, especially when the champions of the sport are treated as heroes of the state, while fantastical mentions of stomach expansion and the Olympic boards refusal to recognize the sport help to keep a surreal edge on things, but what is more surprising here is that this is also a love story as Kálmán falls in love with a female competitor called Gizi (Stanczel) with this love story providing many of the lighter moments such them playfully bathing in the dead sea, while also leading into the third and final tale as Gizi gives birth to Lajoska, who much to his parents concern is born much smaller and frailer than his parents, while also processing none of their monstrous appetite.

Skip forward a several years and a return to normality…well as normal as this film gets anyway, as we rejoin Lajoska as an adult were he is now shown as the polar opposite to his father, a pale and skeleton like man who much to his fathers disappointment, has not carried on his legacy instead having become a master taxidermist, while his father has over the years grown into a human puddle, his wife having long since left him as he spends his days unable to move by himself due to his extreme girth and finding pleasure only in tormenting his son and the dozens of fat cats he keeps in a cage while bizarrely feeding them sticks of butter as part of some masterplan to make them champion eaters, all the while reminiscing of his glory days.

No doubt as a result of his fathers bullying Lajoska lives out a quite and largely solitary existence, with his only passion being for his grotesque work whose examples line the walls of his work shop, while his unquestionable skills bringing with it a variety of unusual requests from those keen to make use of his talent. However what drives Lajoska, is what he is secretly plotting for his masterpiece, which he hopes to be forever remembered.

Despite generating a fair amount of interest upon it’s release, unsurprising from the likes of “Bizarre” who tend to relish the more random and extreme cinematic releases, but since then it has rarely been mentioned since, but at the same time that could easily be attached to the art house styling which makes it far from assessable to a mainstream audience, while it’s subject matter also hardly makes for the lightest of viewing, much less with the frequently grotesque imagery continued within from a hen pecked penis to speed eaters gorging on fatty horse meat, it does feel at times like Pálfi is deliberately trying to test his audience, while more baffling is the fact that this is also branded as a comedy, especially when the few humorous moments should be classed as nothing short of inky black humour at best.

Though highly grotesque Pálfi also shows that he processes enough visual styling to please the tastes of the fans of visual driven directors such as Terry Gilliam and in particular Jean-Pierre Junet & Marc Caro who the films styling is frequently most comparable, with Kálmán’s section of the film certainly coming the closest to their style as especially seen during the scenes at the training camp, which see’s the trough being filled via over head crane, with their training taking place in what would appear to be a refurbished factory setting, meanwhile a continually rotating shot of a bathtub, shows it as being the centre of a household as it’s used for bathing, bread making and even at one point a makeshift morgue for the recently deceased, while the most ambitious shot see’s a pop up book brought to life as part of a particularly worrying fantasy of Morosgoványi.

“Taxidermia” is far from the easiest of films to watch and while no doubt there are deeper messages to be gained from the insanity within, they do have the tendency to get lost in the spectacle, the main focus though is clearly on the individual drives of the three men, be it love, success or immortality and how our drive to achieve these goals affects those around us while questioning to a point the price of obsession and lengths we are willing to go to achieve our goals in life. Needless to say it’s a strangely fascinating film and while it frequently tries to repulse its audience it somehow manages to draw you in at the same time. Needless to say this is bold and frequently exciting film making but one best viewed with a strong stomach and an very open mind.

Alternative Christmas - Submissions and Other Great Reads

2011-12-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

Hey All,

Well first off I want to start by saying thanks to Jenn over at the amazing "Calavade of Perversions", who not only has supported this blog since it's early and confused beginnings, but also sent me the groovy Christmas card you see above while regualrly hunting down the most random and obscure films to review for her blog, while still finding time to heavily feature her cats.

Here though is what I am sending out as a Christmas card, especially as it's alot more amusing than anything Hallmark currently had to offer.

So as I sit down to write this we are now just one sleep away from Food induced coma's, wrapping paper strewn living rooms and questioning how well your love one's really know you when it comes to thier gift choices.....I mean how many pairs of socks and dodgy jumpers does one person need?!?.

As you know December here on the blog we are celebrating an "Alternative Christmas" while opening the floor to anyone who wanted to submit reviews, essays or any other kind of musing on Alternative Christmas Movies, so here are the submissions that I have recived so far, aswell as other articles I have dug over the course of the month, all now collected below for your reading pleasure.

"Alternative Christmas" has not been restrained by myself to this blog alone, as it has also leaked over to my "Cinema Obsura" column over "The Life And Times of Lucy In Da Sky With Diamonds"

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Jack Frost

Emily at "Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense" has been checking out some of the cheesest and god awful Christmas Movies to ever try and cash in on the Holiday with her series of "Cheese In Your Stocking Reviews

Cancel Christmas

A Carol Christmas

Call Me Claus

A Christmas Wedding Tail

Direct To Video Connoisseur

Die Hard

Santa's Slay

Make The Yuletide Gay

Zombots!

Sint

"Knifed In Venice" has gone all out this year with this hefty haul of reviews

Santa's Slay

Black Christmas (2006)

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Black Christmas (1974)

Jack Frost

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Gremlins

Saint

Thanks to everyone who has submitted links so far and if I have missed any "Alternative Christmas" reviews leave your links below and join in the Cross blogging fun!

In the meantime have yourself a great Christmas and a fantastic New Year!!!

Bikini Bloodbath Christmas

2011-12-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

Title: Bikini Bloodbath Christmas
Director: Jonathan Gorman & Thomas Edward Seymour
Released: 2009
Staring: Debbie Rochon, Rachael Robbins, Phil Hall, Dick Boland, Lloyd Kaufman, Sheri Lynn, Niki Rubin, Monique Dupree, Margaret Rose Champagne, Matt Ford, Sarah Dauber, Thomas Edward Seymour, Phillip Guerette

Plot: The Bikini Bloodbath girls are back and now working at a pot emporium called “Snotlocker”, while constantly battling their Christian rivals across the street who work at “The Underground Deli”. Meanwhile Chef Death has once again returned from the grave intent on causing some holiday havoc!

Review: The third and final film in the Bikini Bloodbath Trilogy though honestly it is far from essential to have seen either “Bikini Bloodbath” or “Bikini Bloodbath Carwash” to understand what is happening here as it works just as well on it’s own, while once again being one of those movies which makes you feel just a bit sleazy for reviewing it. Still it’s another curious Christmas movie which makes all the more perfect to look at as part of this ongoing “Alternative Christmas” season.

Right from the beginning the tone is set for what essentially the rest of the film will is like, as within the first fifteen minutes you get enough nudity, foul language and toilet humour to put most teen comedies to shame, while no doubt making it the new favourite movie of teenage boys everywhere, as it sets out to do pretty much what it says on the box, while highlighting how perhaps some of the cast got their parts as was no doubt the case of Monique Dupree, who has all the acting ability of a rock, while her IMDB profile states that she is regularly named as the first black scream queen, but surely there has been other black scream queens before her right?? Surely just because your a girl who appears in horror films doesn't automatically qualify you for such an honour!?!

Spending pretty much the whole movie in their bikini’s, the girls spend the majority of the film running from one random situation to the other, while usually being verbally abused in the meantime by their transvestite boss Mrs Johnson (Boland) who seems to be taking tips from Monty Pythons Terry Jones as Mrs Johnson is almost an exact copy of many of his grotty female characters. Still for fans of “Troma” this style of film making will be all to familiar and it only makes it all the more surprising to find out that this isn’t one of their titles, but still Troma founder & president Lloyd Kaufman shows up briefly as Dr. O’masterblaster who has a rather literal hands on approach when it comes to his patience, but it’s the sleazy kind of role that we have come to expect from him, after all it’s the sort of humour which “Troma” was built upon and it’s briefness stops it from becoming too bad taste unlike some of the scenes involving the fake ass, though once again I couldn’t help but think of Mel Brooks whenever I saw him, as to myself at least the two are scarily similar.

Despite the cast seemingly being hired for seemingly their zero qualms in regards to nudity, the performances are largely pretty good, though perhaps the less said about Monique Dupree’s acting ability the better really, though thankfully her screen time is kept mercifully short, so you don’t have to endure her rabbit in the headlights style of acting for long. The only problem the film has though is that we have no clear final girl for although the girls are easily distinguishable from each other; none of them come across as the one girl that is going to step up and save the day. Meanwhile the guys get off slightly easier, though mainly left to play curiously random roles as is definatly the case for Seymour and Guerette who show up as Prince Colwyn and Rell the Cyclops from “Krull” (1983) who have seemingly fallen on hard times since we last saw them, as they show up trying to sell the glaive as a security device, yet no one seems to question the fact that one of them is a Cyclops. Still these two characters are just another prime example of how you really stop questioning what is happening in the film, especially by this point were by now you’ve seen numerous exposed breasts, had the air turned blue by the expletives riddled rants of Mrs Johnson and seen the rival santa’s of the two stores duke it out in a paddling pool wrestling match, so “Krull” characters randomly appearing is pretty much accepted as the norm for this movie.

Although it is marketed as a slasher Chef Death” is actually given very little to do here, other than randomly appearing and killing off a member of the cast before disappearing again, usually until the film needs something to link one random situation to the other. Still the deaths are all suitably gory and graphic, with the film really pulling off some original kills, which perhaps loose some of their effectiveness due to the cheapness of some of the effects. Still the final twist makes zero sense, especially when we see him resurected only to get a twist revel which would have you believe otherwise.

“White Liger” are once more on hand to provide the soundtrack which largely consists of rocked up Christmas songs, which fit the film perfectly yet frustratingly I’ve been unable to find a copy of the soundtrack, as would love to have these guys sound tracking my Christmas parties, so alas it looks like I will have to dig out the Phil Spector’s again.

As with the previous films it seemingly acknowledges and embarrasses its sheer awfulness at the same time, which somehow makes it a strangely fun watch, though it’s hard to tell if it’s this reason or just the sheer amount of skin on display, foul mouthed monologues, gratuitous splatter or just the sheer randomness which makes up the relatively short run time, with the whole thing clocking in at just over an hour which those of you who are less forgiving when it comes to trash cinema will no doubt seem a lot longer especially as it seems like a lot of randomness with little in the way of actual plotting. Still if your looking for somthing a little gratuitous for the holidays then you can't go to wrong with this.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

2011-12-11T11:49:00.000-08:00

On May 25, 1977 George Lucas created with “Star Wars” the summer blockbuster, launching a saga which go onto be one the most popular franchises of all time, while giving nerdy males like myself something to fill all that time we had on our hands from you know not being able to talk to girls etc, while raking in $4.41 Billion in box office revenue from the films alone and this doesn’t include the money generated from the countless spin off’s and merchandise…because after all no home is complete without it’s glow in the dark lightsaber!

Needless to say George Lucas has frequently tried to torpedo his cash cow with some shall we say interesting directions in which he chose to take the franchise with the first of these being in “Return of Jedi” which introduced the Ewoks, a creation which grew out of his desire to have a village of Wookies which somehow turned into these monstrosities which as we all know, were greeted by much disgust by the fan base, while also being one of the few cute and cuddly characters that people didn’t mind seeing being blown up. Still these would seem quite passable by the time that “The Phantom Menace” finally came out sixteen years later and unleashed the now legendary (and not in a good way) “Jar Jar Binks” which once again caused further venom to be unleashed by the fan verse as well as the occasional burning effigy, as Lucas had finally managed to create something even crappier than those bloody teddy bears!!

Alas there would be something would top both these thing in terms of overwhelming badness, so much so that it would only ever be shown once in 1978 only to ever reappear on bootleg VHS copies as all those involved tried to forget it had ever been created. I am of course talking about “The Star Wars Holiday Special” and seeing how this December I am celebrating an “Alternative Christmas” what better time to revisit this rightfully forgotten cash in.

Riding high on success of “A New Hope” the story follows Han Solo and Chewbacca as they travel to Chewbacca’s home planet Kashyyk to celebrate Life Day with Chewie’s family who comprise of his father Itchy, his wife Malla and son Lumpy all of which would be later retconned to Attichitcuk, Mallatobuck and Lumpawarrump, rather than taking the more sensible choice of just killing them off. Still these bargain basement Wookie costumes you best get used to watching, as they are you main company for pretty much the whole run time of this thing, while their various grunts and growls are even more nonsensical when they are the only characters on screen, often meaning that Art Carney seen here as the trader and family friend Saun Dann is left to try and string things together for those of us who don’t speak Wookie, while the audience wonders why they aren’t getting to see their favourite heroes instead of these second rate characters.

Meanwhile the Empire are busy searching for rebel agents on the planet after losing Han and Chewie, whose attempts to elude the Empire once again forms the mainback bone of the plot, which is intercut with random cameo appearances by Luke Skywalker, C3PO, R2-D2 and Princess Leia, aswell as several variety show style segments, musical performances and a cartoon, all of which add up to a two hour car wreck of a holiday cash in.

Still what is most interesting about this special is that all the cast return to play their characters, something unheard of for a special of this type and something which they would all later regret upon the release of the final product, with Lucas rarely commenting on it and seemingly refusing to acknowledge it’s existence, while Carrie Fisher would provide her commentary for the Star Wars DVD’s on the condition that Lucas gave her a copy, somthing which she openly admits to showing at parties, usually when she wants everyone to leave. Still these appearances outside of Chewie and Han Solo are pretty much glorified guest appearances with the majority of the special being left to Chewie’s family to irritate the audience with their painfully unfunny attempts at humour while preparing for Life Day or eluding the Empire.

Still if the antics of Chewie’s family were not annoying enough we also get even more unlikable characters introduced via various celebrities of the time who will no doubt be unrecognizable to most people not born back then, as they try to earn some cool points and no doubt an easy pay check off the back of the Star Wars craze, so hence we get Harvey Korman (yep i’ve no idea who he is either) showing up in three separate skits, with the most memorable of these being the mildly amusing “Cooking with Chef Gormanda” a four armed cook who Malla struggles to keep up with. Meanwhile his appearance as a malfunctioning droid in an instructional video is just painful to watch. Still slightly better is “Golden Girls” star Bea Arthur as a bar tender at Mos Eisley cantina, which also see’s a welcome return of the various residents and cantina band, though her bursting into “Good Night, But Not Goodbye” will have you quickly looking for the fast forward button.

This random musical interlude is not the only questionable musical moment, as Princess Leia even bursts into a song set to the tune of the Star Wars theme, which unsurprisingly didn’t catch on and hence why you always get folks trying to warble the instrumental version. I did wonder though why “What do you buy a Wookie for Christmas, when he already has a comb” didn’t make the special.

Outside of the amateur hour operatic’s we also get musical performances by both “Jefferson Starship” and “Diahann Carroll” both of which quickly descend into 2001 style acid trip light shows , while Carroll’s performance is creepily watched by Chewie’s father as Carroll informs him that she is his “fantasy” while inviting him to “experience her”, while certainly not made any less creepy by the fact that Itchy is sitting in a machine pressing buttons which supposedly control the experience, which also brings into question if sex with a wookie is classed as bestiality?

So while the majority of the special is plain garbage there is still one good thing to come out of this and like the penny in the pile of shit, it is the first ever appearance of Boba Fett!! That’s right the coolest character in the whole of the Star Wars Universe made his debut here in the cartoon segment of the special, which take the term “Artistic License” to whole new level meaning that we get a rubbery looking R2-D2 and a version of Han Solo which bares a striking resemblance to Mick Jagger. Still it’s a fun first appearance for Boba Fett and is the only real reason to sit through the rest of the special which no doubt explains why it’s in the third quarter and not at the start.

To say that the special is flawed, is to put things lightly as honestly it deserves to have any copy in existence gathered up and burned and should in no reason what so ever be attempted to view while sober, with laces in your shoes or without atleast a couple of friends to heckle to hell out of it, neither of which I had for this last viewing which created an experience which is nothing short of cinematic root canal surgery…..you have been warned!!

Die Hard

2011-12-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

Title: Die Hard
Director: John McTiernan
Released: 1988
Staring: Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, Alan Rickman, Reginald Veljohnson, Paul Gleason, De’voreaux White, Robert Davi, Grand L. Bush, Alexander Godunov

Plot: Flying into LA on Christmas Eve to reconcile with his estranged wife Holly (Bedilia), New York cop John McClane (Willis) is invited to her company Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza, only to have the festivities interrupted by armed terrorists led by criminal mastermind Hans Gruber (Rickman) quickly taking over the building and leaving John as the last hope for the hostages now trapped inside.

Review: Since it’s release “Die Hard” has been a long time favourite amongst action fans, while regularly being the movie which was named when I asked people what their favourite Christmas movie was, which might surprise some people but it is quite rightfully a Christmas movie, if an extremely action packed and violent one!

Released at the height of the 80's Action movie craze it is now seen as being one of the best action films of the era. Based on the Roderick Thorp novel “Nothing Lasts Forever”, a sequel to his earlier novel “The Detective” which was also filmed with Frank Sinatra whose decision to not star in the sequel, which may have had alot to do with being offered the role at the age of 73 thanks to a contractual clause which entitled him to first refusal on the sequel. I was also a decision which would also be the main reason that the book was turned into the film we now all know and love, allowing director McTiernan to make minor tweaks to the story to “help bring more joy” to the story especially after describing the original screenplay as “a nasty piece of work” and in doing so made the character of McClane younger than he is in the book, which in turn helped pave the way for Willis to make his break into movies, in what at the time must have been a really surprising choice for the role, especially seeing how his only role at that point had been on the long running TV series “Moonlighting” which he was still filming during the shoot and even more so when this was the age of the pumped action hero with Stallone and Schwarzenegger being the ones cleaning up at the box office. McTiernan also changed the political motivations of the terrorists to make them a group of thieves portraying themselves as terrorists, which is really sold by the Rickman who here also makes his feature film debut as the charismatic and highly quotable Hans Gruber in yet another surprising casting choice, but could anyone else really play this role as well as he does?

Essentially the story of one man having a very bad day, John McClane is an everyman kind of hero, as he’s not a pumped up marine or trained in any kind of tactics for handling terrorists but rather a balding New York cop surviving on his wits alone and generally making things up as he goes and constantly seen questioning his own actions as a result of this. Meanwhile the sole support is more morally via fellow police office Al with hold McClane frequently talks to over his CB radio, as he frequently inspires McClane to keep going especially as his situation seems all the more hopeless, as his supplies begin to run low and his injuries start rack up. What also makes his character stand apart from other action heroes is his use of humour, as rather than cracking corny catchphrases when he kills off a bad guy, as he instead continually makes wisecracks often for his own amusement and frequently to taunt Hans. Still seeing how both Stallone and Schwarzenegger turned down the role, it’s interesting to think if McClane would have retained any of these traits in the hands of one of these pumped up action stars?

Still the key thing which also makes this film stand out from the other action films of the 80’s is that McClane unlike his contemporise is not invincible and injures just like any other regular guy, while still managing to live up to the promise of the title as he frequently proves to be a very hard man to kill, even when he’s the one putting himself in the most suicidal of positions such as his leap from the top of the building using a fire hose, with almost every situation frequently seeing McClane questioning his actions, as he knows instinctively how much he is out of his depth, yet still he refuses to give up, still it's funny that out of the things which have been frequently carried across the films is his now trademark grubby vest, which like every inch of his body is covered in grime and filth, a radical departure from the usual heroes who would somehow remain miraculously clean throughout, much like their injuries which they simply shake off, yet when McClane is injured he stays injured, most noticeably after being forced to walk barefoot across broken glass, which leaves him with a noticeable limp for the rest of the film, with McTiernan’s keen eye also making sure that even the smallest of details are not over looked as seen by the bloody footprints that McClane leaves on the window pane as he pushes away from it.

While “Die Hard” runs through the usual action movies motions, what also helps to separate it from other films from the era, is how developed the characters even with supporting bad guys such as Karl, we still get the feeling that you know more about these characters than their primary motives for doing the things that they do, with Hans being possibly the most developed bad guy to ever appear in an action movies thanks to the various hints to his background peppered throughout, from referencing his classical education, to general banter between himself and his henchmen which is a real change of pace from the info dump back story we have come to expect were normally the hero discusses said bad guy with their superior while going through a heavy looking file on said bad guy.

For some unknown reason “Die Hard” has remained pretty timeless and can still be viewed as the solid action flick it is, without any of the cheese that other 80’s action movies are frequently associated with, while undoubtedly being a great choice for Alternative Christmas viewing.

Celebrating An Alternative Vision of Christmas!!

2011-12-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
Well with Christmas fast approaching and the TV schedules already being crammed full off those god awful made for TV Christmas movies, you know the kind were the family learns the true mean of Christmas by letting the friendly hobo into their house or whatever random event they can make seem plausible with a Christmas setting.

So this year "From the Depths of DVD Hell" is celebrating an alternate Christmas, by looking at the movies which might be set at Christmas, but are frequently far from the usual festive nonsense, with terrorists invading the office party, Santa battling the Martians and Serial Killer Snowmen!!

Prime examples of these movies of course being "Die Hard", "Silent Night Deadly Night", "Gremlins" and "Rare Exports" to name but a few and over December I will be looking at these great films and others, both on the blog aswell as in my "Cinema Obscura" column at "The Life and Times of Lucy In Da Sky With Diamonds" as part of a month long celebration of the Christmas movies which are anything but traditional.

To help celebrate this latest season of reviews, I am also opening up the floor once again to some cross blogging fun, by asking you all for your help, by posting your own reviews, rants or pretty much anything else you want to submit which relates to these movies which give a very different view of Christmas. If this sound like something you'd like to be part of, all you need to do is to send me an e-mail (film_freak_99@yahoo.com) with a link to your posts and I will then highlight them here on the blog!

So dig out that your alternative festive viewing and join in the fun!!

Island of Death

2011-11-30T13:41:00.000-08:00

Title: Island of Death
Director: Nico Mastorakis
Released: 1977
Staring: Robert Behling, Jane Lyle, Jessica Dublin, Gerald Gonalons, Jannice McConnell, Nikos Tsachiridis

Plot: Christopher (Behling) and Celia (Lyle) are enjoying a break on a small Greek island, while pursuing their favourite pastimes, which unfortunately for the locals are sex and violence, meanwhile Inspector Foster (Gonalons) is hot on their heels.

Review: Probably the least well known of the video nasty list, yet arguably the most notorious seeing how it only got taken off the list here in the UK last year, still good things come to those who wait which this film might be anything but, but still I think it’s easy to say that this is possibly one of the most explicit movies to have made the list, especially as it is essentially a constant stream of soft core porn, nudity and violence, with only the most paper thin of plots to string the scenes together, which is hardly surprising when Director Mastorakis seemingly had two goals when he set out to make the movie and that was to first make himself as much money as possible, while the second was to make the most violent and perverse film possible after after being inspired by “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974), well more specifically he was inspired when he found out just how much money Tobe Hooper was making from it.

Opening with Christopher buried up to his waist in what will later be revealed to be a pit of lime while Celia watches and laughs mockingly we get our first taste of Christopher’s travel documentary esq voice over which continues to appear randomly through the film as the film now cuts back to a few days earlier as Christopher and Celia arrive on the unnamed small Greek island looking like any normal happy couple. Needless to say we are just about fifteen minutes before they are having sex in a phone box while he phones their mother…..yes that’s right they are also brother and sister (though confusingly at times she is also referred to as being his cousin) and really don’t seem to care much about the incestuous nature of their relationship. So after that surprising opening, you would think that Mastorakis might have blown his load early, until Christopher having had his attempts at getting some morning fun rejected instead relives his frustration with a passing goat before graphically killing it in what is unsurprisingly the most talked about moment in the film.

This murderous duo are almost polar opposites to each other when it comes to thier motives, with Christopher murderous tendencies being drawn from his own twisted religious beliefs, making him prone to ranting about his role as the angel of purification and how his victims have sinned as he kills, while these zealot esq beliefs of course makes the residents of the island prime targets for his campaign to purify them of their sins, especially when everyone is prone to spontaneous nudity and so sexually open. Celia meanwhile plays things like his trusted accomplice though seemingly minus Christopher’s religious rants, as she sets up the majority of the murders, as Christopher voyeuristically enjoys watching her having sex and frantically photographing her in action, which seemingly seems to be the only cure for his own impotence, especially when each of the murders are usually followed by frantic sex between him and Celia and more frantic photography of their handiwork.

There is barely a moment wasted here which is not being filled with death, gore or sex or some amalgamation of the three, with the sound of a camera shutter between each scene, creating almost an unintentional feeling that each scene is like a little violent and nasty short, a feeling only further reinforced by the beyond minimal plotting on offer here, which is pretty much abandoned by the final quarter as we lead up to the moments were we first joined the murderous duo, though don’t expect anything to be any clearer by the time we get to were we first started the film, as Mastorakis instead leaps even further into the randomness void of pure cinematic insanity which has Celia making the nasty (literally in this case) with a inbred looking famer, after he beats up and farts (yes you read that right) on Christopher which is around the same point that you realise that Mastorakis really doesn’t care anymore, let alone has any idea how to end the movie.

The death scenes are all explicit and filmed with an almost voyeuristic glee, as Mastorakis unleashes a variety of interesting deaths from the traditional stalk and slash, to the slightly more creative such as a bulldozer blade and memorably using an aeroplane wing to hang one of their victims during flight. Still none of these are shot with any sense of fun are largely just gratuitous violence and gore, which frequently makes for uncomfortable viewing.

“Island of Death” is another key example of a film which made the Video nasty list and which no doubt otherwise would have long since been forgotten like so many of the titles on the list and furthering the belief that the list did more harm than anything regarding protecting the movie going public from these kinds of movies, instead providing exploitation fans and gore hounds with a shopping list of titles to hunt down. Needless to say you can go through life having not seen this film and be all the better, especially as you won’t have wasted an hour and half of your life on this film, which left me with the same feeling I had after watching “The Human Centipede” an equally ghastly experience, which equally was all shocks over substance and like this film also soon realised that it has nowhere to go and no matter how low you sink the moral standard it still doesn’t make up for the serious lack of plotting and as such, I would recommend this only for video nasty completists and celluloid curiosity seekers only.

Boxset Binges #4 - Dead Set

2011-11-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Currently here in the UK, they are attempting to flog a dead horse as thanks to zero public demand whatsoever “Big Brother” has been brought back from the TV Graveyard for yet another series, as fame hungry wannabe’s sit around and become voyeur fodder for the general public….well this would usually be the case if anyone was actually watching. Still what better time to finally watch Charlie Brooker’s satire of the Big Brother phenomenon as he brings a horror twist to things by introducing hordes of frenzied zombies.

Set during a fictional season of “Big Brother” (the makers of which bizarrely are also behind this satire), we open on eviction night were the latest housemate is set to leave the house, while meanwhile the Britain is being rocked by widespread riots. Struggling to keep the show running smoothly, show runner Kelly (Jaime Winstone) also has to deal with her foul mouthed and abusive boss Patrick (Andy Nyman). Things only get worse when a man bitten earlier by a zombie breaks into the crowd causing mass infection to breakout as the crowd are quickly infected turning them into a rampaging horde which soon breaks into the studio and turning the Big Brother house into the sole sanctuary from the zombie hordes, while the housemates continue with the show unaware of the chaos erupting outside of the house.

Originally shown weeks after the end of the ninth series of “Big Brother”, Charlie Brooker’s take on the show not only manages to satire the show with his usual sharp humour and keen eye for the smallest of details, but he has also managed to find an original zombie plot, which is certainly no easy task especially with so many zombie films being churned out in the last few years, usually as direct to video efforts and more often than not recycling for the umpteenth time the same tired storylines.

The fictional housemates are very much like their real life counter parts, with Brooker drawing inspiration from several of the more memorable housemates, while the group on the whole are the usual group of fame hungry wannabe’s with perhaps the exception of Joplin (Kevin Eldon) whose is attempting to use the show as his own soapbox for his own views on society. Meanwhile the rest of the group are happily playing up for the cameras while they live blissfully unaware in their own little world, which has been created by the show. Due to their lack of contact with the outside world, they are quick to dismiss Kelly as another task that the producers have set for them and it’s only after Kelly turns a zombie’s head into a pancake using a fire extinguisher, that they finally except that something might be not quite right.

Outside of the housemates, the series also follows Kelly’s boyfriend Riq (Riz Ahmed) who having been left stranded at a train station after his car is stolen is attempting to make it to the studio to reunite with her, also unaware of the chaos erupting at the studio, were Studio boss and general selfish bastard Patrick and recent show evictee Pippa (Kathleen McDermott) are holed up from the zombies currently roaming the studio hallways after the initial rampage has subsided. The three storylines soon becoming entwined into a single story once the groups reunite, but help to give a full picture of the outbreak with Riq teaming up with a fellow survivor Alex (Liz Mae Brice) who certainly is more clued up on the situation than most of the characters, having already gotten hold of a firearm and running on full blown survivor mode, especially shown by the fact she has sourced a rifle which seeing how this is England is certainly not an easy thing, especially with the Firearm laws making guns anything but readily available to members of the general public, which is an aspect sadly not highlighted further, a minor plot niggle not only with this series but any of the previous British Zombie films which came before it.

Brooker has seemingly wrote “Dead Set” to be made on a small budget, especially with the action taking place mainly in two key locations, which are the Big Brother house and the studio, though we do get a few moments of the world outside the studio, via Riq’s own journey with Alex from the train station which takes him through abandoned villages and woods and it’s almost refreshing to not see another attempt at the epic abandoned cityscapes of “28 Days Later” (2002) and by keeping the action in a decidedly rural setting it gives the audience something they haven’t seen done a hundred times before, which when it comes to the zombie genre is no easy task. Still little focus is given to the so called real world outside of these glimpses with the few scenes outside of the studios only furthering the impression that it might be the safest place for them, while helping to give a real sense of isolation from any form of uninfected humanity, while seemingly automated radio broadcasts try to maintain calm amongst the general public, while advising of the country being evacuated to France.

The biggest surprise here though is just how visceral the violence is, especially when it was originally shown as a five part TV series, which would normally mean holding back on the violence, only here it pretty much pushes it way beyond anything we have seen in recent zombie films as these zombies are a real throw back to the gut munchers of the 80’s, as bodies are torn apart as entrails are pulled from torsos with sadistic glee with Brooker openly admitting that he drew inspiration from George A. Romero’s Dead saga, as clearly homaged by one of the characters expletive heavy death which is almost a straight copy of Capt. Rhodes’ death from “Day of the Dead” (1985). The majority of the heavy violence is saved for the rampage finale, which again has a similar feel to the finale of “Dawn of the Dead” (1978), yet Brooker has still managed to craft enough original shocks to make this more than a George Romero highlight reel, as Fire extinguishers, scissors and hatchets are just a few of the makeshift weapons used in the fight against the undead hordes, while also answering the question “Do Zombies enjoy hot tubs?”
Unsurprisingly these are not the same shuffling hordes that Romero favours, but instead the more modern frenzied kind, with “28 Days Later” being a big inspiration clearly for the visual style of the series, especially with the heavy use of handheld cameras and shakily shot footage during the attacks, which proves frequently more distracting than dramatic, but with the amount of gore on display throughout it does at least make up in spades for what your not getting to see.

My main gripe here is with the pacing which might work well when shown in it’s episodic form, but when put into it’s feature length really struggles in the first half with certain scenes feeling more like filler than anything essentially, leaving it feeling in need of trimming down especially with a run time of around two and a half hours making it unintentionally possibly the first zombie epic.

Despite feeling alittle bloated in it’s run time “Dead Set” is still certainly one of the better entries in the Zombie genre in the last couple of years, especially with so many direct to DVD entries only watering down the mythos in much the same way that Paranormal romance is for Vampires, but this series reminds us that there is still life left in the shuffling corpses of the undead.

Kiki's Delivery Service

2011-11-07T16:24:00.000-08:00

Title: Kiki’s Delivery Service
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Released: 1989
Staring: Minami Takayama, Rei Sakuma, Keiko Toda, Minami Takayama, Keppei Yamaguchi

Plot: Having turned 13, witch in training Kiki (Takayama) leaves homes with her talking cat Jiji (Sakuma) as is traditional for all witches to leave home for a year on their thirteenth birthday. Despite processing almost no witch skills beside her ability to fly on a broom, which she is still not overly great at doing, she arrives in the city of Koriko were we is soon using her skill to setup a delivery service.

Review: For the longest time when I was starting off my own personal Anime obsession, this film was seen almost like a secret handshake between Anime fans, were a fan’s status was largely judged on if they had seen certain films, a list of which this film was one of those titles. Now while it might be hard to realise it now, with such a huge variety of anime titles easily available, back when I started collecting anime, the only label which was putting out anime titles here in the UK was “Manga Entertainment” who tended to favour the more violent and graphic titles like “Fist of the North Star” and “Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend” giving the misguided impression that all Japanese animation was like this, though in their defence they were also responsible for bringing two legendry anime titles “Akira” and “Ghost In The Shell” to Western audiences so it's hard to question if thier influence was detrimental to the cause or not. Still it would be much later that a lot of Anime fans got to discover the simple and innocent beauty of Studio Ghibli’s movies, which showed a polar opposite side to anime than most fans had been used to and ultimately has paved the way for less violent anime to gain distribution outside of bootlegs and late night showings on TV.

Out of the Studio Ghibli’s back catalogue “Kiki’s Delivery Service” is certainly one of my favourites, despite the fact that fan’s tend to frequently over look it, opting for the colourful characters of “My Neighbour Totoro” or the nature versus industry epic “Princess Monoke”, which is a shame as it’s certainly one of their best with its childlike (but not childish) innocence and curiosity, while also proving shockingly for a lot of western audiences at the time that Anime doesn’t have to be all giant robots and fan service schoolgirls.

“Kiki’s Delivery Service” differs from a lot of the Ghibli title, bar perhaps “My Neighbour Totoro” in that it has no real set course and instead starts off with the idea of Kiki leaving home, eager to prove to her family that she can make her own way in the world and is essentially just watching her daily progress towards this goal, with no major crisis or big evil to combat, the closest the film gets to either of these things being with the climatic Zeppelin chase which in itself comes almost out of nowhere, much like Kiki suddenly loosing her powers in the third quarter, which in itself is essentially more of a moral lesson in believing in your own abilities even when you feel like a failure. Still Kiki’s abilities are portrayed less as magical and more like an artistic skill, meaning that this loss of her powers could also be seen almost as a kind of writers block.

While Kiki going about day to day tasks as she goes about settling into her new life and unexpectedly setting up a delivery service, might not sound like the most gripping of viewing, it surprisingly is never dull and even more amazingly gives these things an almost magical feel. It could also be argued that for these reasons, that the film would seem almost intentionally aimed at a female audience, but somehow director Miyazaki still manages to keep the attention of both sexes a fact best highlighted in a comment one of my friends made, were he pointed out that he was knowingly watching a very girlie anime yet still strangely gripped by what he was watching.

Miyazaki’s obsession with flight is fully on show here from Kiki on her broom, to the Zeppelin and plane filled skies and her nerdy friend Tombo’s flying contraption (essentially a bicycle with a propeller) and the feeling of flight is truly captured from the gentle flights across the countryside to the thrilling climax which see’s Kiki whizzing through the streets and alleyways in pursuit of the runaway Zeppelin, while still maintaining the detailed crowed streets of the city packed with onlookers, rather than switching to the plain background as the character moves slowly towards the screen, as more traditionally seen as Miyazaki never risks losing this sense of flight, by scrimping on the finer details and these only make this finale only all the more chaotic and exciting to watch, event after repeated viewings.

Being a Ghibli film there are several options available when it comes to watching the films, with purists no doubt options for the subtitle track, while dub fans get a choice of two equally great dub tracks, with Disney providing a more star studded cast which see’s Kirstin Dunst take on the role of Kiki, while Phil Hartman provides the voice of Jiji, with this trend for star studded dub tracks continuing into future Ghibli releases. Still there isn’t much difference between the subtitle version and the dubbed version really outside of Jiji who in the dub track comes off as more of a wiseass than he does in the original subtitled version.

“Kiki’s Delivery Service” truly deserves to have it’s place amongst the best titles in the Ghibli back catalogue, especially with Miyazaki here on top form, with a project which was seemingly made with him in mind, especially seeing how it allows for such freedom to include his various trademarks, while also providing a gentle introduction to Anime for newcomers to both the genre as well as the films of studio Ghibli and Miyazaki.

Alpha Dog

2011-10-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

Title: Alpha Dog
Director: Nick Cassavetes
Released: 2006
Staring: Emile Hirsch, Justin Timberlake, Dominique Swain, Bruce Willis, Shawn Hatosy, Olivia Wilde, Sharon Stone, Ben Foster, Amanda Seyfried, Anton Yelchin

Plot: Johnny Truelove (Hirsch) a young drug dealer and son of underworld figure Sonny Truelove (Willis) orchestrates an impulsive kidnapping of Zach Mazursky (Yelchin), hoping that it will force his older brother Jake (Foster) to pay up his debts, but things soon things begin to spiral quickly out of control.

Review: Based on the events in August 2000 which lead to the murder of Nicholas Markowitz, with the film changing the names of those involved, as well as being set a year earlier, which puts the setting for the film on November 1999, which is an unusual move for a biopic but certainly not unheard of especially after “Domino” (2005), which so proudly proclaimed that it was based “on the truth and the lies” and it’s seemingly expected that the decision to make such changes to allow for the more fictional elements of the film to help link together the events which lead to Markowitz’s murder, without receiving criticism for fabrication of the facts. Still what director Cassavetes has unwittingly also created is possibly the most raw and and realistic portrayal of youth culture since Larry Clarke’s highly controversial debut “Kids” (1995) while also being equally comparable to Clarke’s own stab at the same genre with his equally controversial “Bully” (2001) a film which it is essentially the easiest to compare to, as both feature over sexed, drug fuelled suburban teens, making rash criminal choices and being forced to face the consequences of such actions.

Opening with Truelove and his crew working out while tossing about gangsta style slang and tough guy bravado, it would be hard believe that these characters have not escaped from one of Clarke’s films, especially as these are the sort of characters he tends to favour, especially with every other word seeming being a dererative of the word f**k or some other curse word, but then these are young men in their early twenties and it’s allot more realistic than the smart ass, pop culture reference heavy dialogue which usually accompanies most movie teens these days. Still these are rich kids with nothing better to do than, further their gangster fantasies as they pop pills and snort their away through adolescence, with Truelove playing ringleader to this circus of fools, all buying into the lifestyle that Truelove and his followers are trying to emulate, with Truelove in particular seemingly trying to follow in the criminal footsteps of his father, while hiding his own cowardly ways behind his tough guy bravado, a fact known all to well by the short fused Jake, whose own conflict with Truelove leads to Truelove grabbing Jake’s younger and more naive brother Zack. Interestingly this portrayal of Truelove is almost the opposite of his real life counter part, who was not only the youngest man to ever make the FBI's most wanted list, but also demonstrated high levels of intelligence which helped him elude the FBI for a number of years after the murder.

It’s once the group have grabbed Zack that things take very “Kids” esq turn, for Zack isn’t taped up to a chair for the duration of the film while being continuously tormented by his kidnappers, but instead left in the care of Frankie (Timberlake), who in turn brings him inside the groups inner circle, soon seeing Zack being caught up in the faux glamour of their world, while happily drinking, smoking weed and engaging in swimming pool threesome’s, all things his mother has seemingly worked so hard to shelter him from, especially with his older brother being now deemed a loss cause. It’s Zack's journey into faux adulthood that makes the film distinctly different from most crime dramas and did make me forget what sort of film I was watching which in a way makes the actual murder all the more shocking when it happens, especially after being lead on this hedonistic journey only for it too all come suddenly crashing to a close. Still it was these scenes which took me the most by surprise, especially having put off watching the film, expecting another teens making very bad choices movie and really not wanting to see another film trying to emulate Larry Clarke’s work, something which the British film industry has been frequently responsible for adding to and a cinematic crime that Noel Clarke has been especially guilty of adding to with trash like “Kidulthood” and it’s much unwanted sequel “Adulthood”, but here director Cassavetes has certainly managed to find his own unique voice for his characters, so that they are all individual even if they frequently seem to share the same voice.

Despite upon the films release the critics were keen to comment on the fact that Timberlake could actually act, especially as this film added to his then radical attempts to move away from his teenie bobber status and true he is very good in this film, as he was also in the much underrated “Southland Tales” (2006), here providing the moral voice of the group, as he frequently questions the situation the group have found them in, to the point were he even offers Zack an open invitation to escape, while later accepting Zack as part of the group which makes Zack’s eventual demise all the more wrenching to watch, knowing that his protector has ultimately betrayed them. Still the true standout performance here is an honour that instead belongs to Foster, who is best remembered as the nerdy love interest of Claire Fisher on “Six Feet Under” a role he is truly a polar opposite of here, were he is a 100% badass while demonstrating fighting skills I never knew he had, as demonstrated by a house party beat down, were he single handily batters numerous opponents with ease.

In terms of star power amongst the cast it is limited to Bruce Willis and Sharon Stone, with the cast at the time being comprised of largely unknown actors, despite many going on to larger roles, but both of these established actors put in strong performances, while being limited to strictly supporting with role, with Stone later donning a fat suit for her characters current day appearance as a woman truly broken by the death of her sun, while putting in a performance which is certainly one of her best in a long time, as woman who has truly lost everything, especially during the final scenes which prove to be the most emotionally powerful.

While some might grumble that the film takes liberties with the fact, with the case notes frequently being pushed into the background and largely limited to on screen notes highlighting and numbering witnesses to the case, while certainly not playing as fast and loose with the facts as “Domino” (2005) as memorably did to help cram in another shoot out and thankfully not the case here with director Cassavetes, not trading in the focus to work in more teenage flesh. Still viewed as either a youth in revolt movie or as a crime biopic, it's still a great film and one that dares to look at the darker side of popularity.

Pieces

2011-10-03T12:05:00.000-07:00

Title: Pieces
Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Released: 1982
Staring: Christopher George, Linda Day, Frank Braña, Edmund Purdom, Paul L. Smith, Ian Sera, Jack Taylor

Plot: A chainsaw welding killer with a bizarre obsession with jigsaw puzzles, stalks the young co-eds of a local college campus

Review: “Pieces” is a strange little film, despite the most traditional of slasher plots, it still manages more than it’s share of surreal moments to say the least and yet for some reason we the audience accept it as the norm, while also certainly doesn’t take away any of the fun, so that your not left asking yourself questions like were the hell that Kung Fu guy came from? (The simple answer to that one being that the producer Dick Randall, was shooting “Bruceploitation” movies nearby and Simón basically took advantage of the opportunity), or was the girl on the skateboard seen skating in the sheet plate glass was part of the killers plot or not.?

Opening with the killer as a young boy putting together a jigsaw, which turns out to be more raunchy than the usual ones as this one is of a naked woman (do they seriously make jigsaws like that?) and as per the rule that as soon as you choose to look at anything slightly risqué that your mum will walk in, unsurprisingly so does his who proceeds to chastise him for it, while also uncovering an impressive pile of smut that he has hidden away. In fact his collection is so extensive it did have me wondering how he managed to amass such a collection, especially when the rest of us at that age had to try and find our own porn discarded in hedge rows or steal it from older siblings. Facing his beloved collection being burned he makes what he considers to be the only rational choice and kills her with an axe, followed by sawing her head off and making the whole thing look like a home invasion killing, which even more bizarrely the police don’t even question, instead shipping him off to live with his aunt and no doubt further his serial killer urges seeing how forty years later he is lurking the college campus looking for victims for his latest scheme.

For some reason the police are pretty blasé to say the least about the fact that someone is running around the campus violently killing the student population with a chainsaw, with the police chief at one point dismissing a reporter’s question about the rumours of a killer being on the loose, by claiming “There are Maniac rumours at that school every couple of months!”, I mean seriously what sort of school really openly has a reputation like that, or they located perhaps a little too close to the local asylum? This however is just one of the numerous random bits of dialogue that stands out in this film, much like the classy line

“The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed”

Meanwhile the killing are all pretty random, with no real link between the victims other than that they are all horny young students. Still the deaths are were the killer really gets creative even with the Chainsaw being his ohh so subtle weapon of choice, with the killer finding frequently less plausible methods to conceal it, with my personal favourite being the elevator death, were he just holds it behind his back which somehow his victim fails to register, because of course it’s perfectly normal to be just carrying around a chainsaw. Still it’s these death scenes were Simón seems to have invested the most effort, as it certainly wasn’t in any other area of the film, making similar in many ways to the majority of the 80’s slasher output were it’s more about the spectacle than the characterisation. Still it doesn’t stop this film from being alot of fun and no doubt why it has become a favourite at midnight screenings and Horror movie marathons, let alone it’s completely bonkers shock ending, which providing someone hasn’t already tipped you off about it, will certainly catch you completely by surprise.

The gore despite being limited thanks to a surprisingly low body count, especially for a film called “Pieces”, let alone the cheeky tagline of

“You don’t have to go to Texas For A Chainsaw Massacre”

were you’d expect the bodies to be piling up, but like the film it cheekily nods to it is pretty restrained, though when you do get a death it is still highly visceral, with limbs being lopped off and bloody wounds comically painting the walls, which only adds to the fun for as graphic as this film get’s it’s aim more for shock and awe rather than trying to disgust the audience, especially with some of the effect looking so comically bad such as the opening axe to the head.

While this film might not be one of better slashers of the 80’s it certainly is not one of the worst, with it’s surreal moments making it a talking point for horror fans and trash cinema aficionados’ since it’s release it and it’s certainly a film which is best viewed with a group, to really make the most out of ribbing on the surreal moments, the sheer number of which making it hard to believe that some of it wasn’t intentional and covers for the numerous flaws throughout and seeing on how many moments work best with an element of surprise, I will recommend that it’s best to watch this film on DVD first, to avoid having them telegraphed by a rabid horror movie marathon and plus it means you can go to that same movie marathon and be a jerk like everyone else. As for director Simón he is not a director who I’ve had a huge amount of experience with outside of “Slugs” (1988), which certainly wasn’t as much fun as this film and despite his questionable talent behind the lens, it hasn’t stopped him building a dedicated fan base and with this film I can understand the appeal a little more than before, even if I’m not quite ready to join his fan base ranks.

Martyrs

2011-09-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Title: Martyrs
Director: Pascal Laugier
Released: 2008
Staring: Morjana Alaoui, Mylène Jampanoï, Catherine Bégin, Isabelle Chasse, Robert Toupin, Patricia Tulasne, Juliette Gosselin, Xavier Dolan-Tadros

Plot: Fifteen years ago Lucie (Jampanoï) was abducted and tortured as a child. Now having tracked down her kidnappers she set’s out with her childhood friend Anna (Alaoui), who also carries her own abuse scars to get her revenge. It’s only when Anna arrives at the house does she start to question her friends actions before discovering a hatch in the basement.

Review: There is a memorable line in David Fincher’s classic thriller “Seven” (1995) uttered by a doctor having who having examined the Sloth victim proclaims

“He’s experienced about as much pain and suffering as anyone I’ve encountered, give or take, and he still has Hell to look forward to.”

And this was the line which came to mind as the end credits rolled on this film as I was left reeling and still unable to comprehend what it was that I had just watched, much less how I was going to write about it. “Matyrs” is anything but a straightforward movie and it is certainly one best going into blind, so once again this is you getting off point for those wishing to experience the film with all its shocks intact, as potential spoilers lye ahead.

Opening with Lucie as a young girl bloodied and running terrified through a derelict industrial estate, Director Laugier wastes zero time in establishing a mood for what is essentially the rest of the film, as Laugier then establishes exactly what she has been though via a mixture of documentary footage taken by the team sent to investigate, aswell as snippets of her therapy which in turn establishes her friendship with Anna and the strong bond that they two girls share, growing out of their status as abuse survivors. Still this is merely the warm up for what is to follow, as Laugier shifts gear and slams on the gas, as the film now becomes an unrelenting nightmare of visceral horror and violence.

Shot almost like two movies cut together, the first half is a pure home invasion / revenge thriller as the now grown up Lucie breaks into what would to be your typical suburban household, as they sit down to breakfast quickly unloading shotgun shells into the family without even any attempt at an introduction or welcome. It’s in the aftermath of this savage attack that Anna re-enters the story, while Lucie seems to be quickly losing her grip on reality having visions of a Lovecraftian style monster which frequently attacks her causing her to mutilate herself as she tries to defend herself. It’s also at this point that Anna begins to also have doubts about her friends sanity, let alone if she has even found the people who had abducted her, especially when the house shows no signs of either of the parents being capable of the acts inflicted upon Lucie as a child. Still it’s the discovery of a mysterious hatch in the basement which marks the start of what could essentially be classed as the second film which is almost a polar opposite of the first half as gone are the frantic cuts and shooting from the hips, to be replaced by tightly framed shots and an almost clinical approach to the screen violence, as the hatch proves to be an almost metaphorical for the secrets the parents have seemingly hidden from their children, continuing normal family life while hiding the real horrors in the basement. Now if you have made it this far into the film and wondered what all the fuss was about, you should perhaps not speak so soon, as it’s the halfway mark were Laugier chooses to really unleash the demons on his audience, as he redefines what unrelenting horror which are only unleashed once the hatch is opened.

Despite being heavy on torture especially for the second half of the film and shocking imagery, “Martyrs” refuses to have the clumsy “Torture Porn” label attached to it, as the savagery on display here isn’t played with any sense of fun, but rather approached with a clinical and sterile approach, as the camera largely plays witness to the acts on offer, only occasionally allowing itself the luxury of a more artsy shot or two including a memorable close up of a dilated iris which in turn morphs into a 2001 Esq. Lightshow to help highlight the deteriorating mental state of the sufferer. Still once the film moves into it’s brutal second half, it is from here that it becomes more a test of endurance and as well as your ability to keep your lunch down and while other films have certainly pushed the boundaries further in terms of gore, but it is still none the more pleasant to sit through, to find out the big answer to what is actually going on and one that seems to divide audience reaction as to if it was worth the trek through hell to find out the reasons behind everything you have just witnessed, especially with Laugier failing in many ways to explore the titular theory perhaps as indepth as some would like or even explain it better to the less well read viewer.

The gore on display here is creative to say the least, with bodies being flung across the room by shotgun blasts to the chest and even a flaying are just two things on the menu, though for the hardened gore hounds nothing that they probably won’t have seen before, despite cries of “The most Violent movie ever made” from the conservative broadsheet reading crowd, but what’s on offer here, easily pales when compared to the likes of “Cannibal Holocaust” (1980) or even more recent releases such as “Frontier(s)” (2007) which certainly pushed the boundaries further and here Laugier seemingly more interested to approach the screen violence with the an unflinching lense similar that used by Michael Haneke for “Funny Games” (1997) were violence was used as part of his exploration of media violence, though it would seem that Laugier isn’t trying to explore such themes, but rather adopting a similar style to ramp up intensity while ensuring that he doesn’t let up on the pressure for a moment. Needless to say as someone who is disgusted by domestic violence, towards the end of the film it became especially tough watching what is essentially a succession of scenes were one of the characters is repeatedly beaten over and over, while being further proof as to why I no longer talk to my parents about the films I review here.

While certainly not the easiest of films to recommend based on the levels of violence and grim subject matter, yet it’s strangely fascinating and gripping at the same time, though the true power will no doubt hit you after the end credits have run, as it’s only then that you mind will find the time to churn over what you have just watched, as Laugier has here created one of the most shocking yet highly original films I have seen in along while, though one to certainly approach with caution.

Also appearing at...

2011-09-21T04:56:00.000-07:00

Since I first started writing this blog back in 2009 I have been frequently surprised by the sheer amount of people who love or on occasion have joined me in down right despising some of the films I have written about over the years, while also being truly honored by the support you all have shown this blog since I started out and now you will be able to read even more of my ramblings on cult, foreign and obscure cinema, aswell as pretty much everything in between as I will now also be writing two columns for "Lucy In Da Sky With Diamonds"as part of their plans to build on their Roller Derby stained roots, by not only focusing on nearly every aspect of the sport, but also other fun topics including reviews by yours truly.

The first of these columns is titled "Cinema Obsura" and will be posted every Tuesday focusing on highlighting films like you have seen featured on this blog, while the second will focus on new film releases and will be posted every Saturday.

My first contribution to the site is available now and poses the question

"Is "Thank God It's Friday", the greatest disco movie ever?"

The answer to which can be found by clicking here.

This news however does not the mean the end of this blog, as still having way too much fun writing and hunting down films to write about here, so don't expect this blog to be vanishing anytime soon and once again allow me to thank everyone for their continual support.

Narc

2011-09-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

Title: Narc
Director: Joe Carnahan
Released: 2002
Staring: Jason Patric, Ray Liotta, Chi McBride, Lloyd Adams, Stacey Farber, Busta Rhymes, Krista Bridges, Alan Van Sprang

Plot: Eighteen months after his last botched operation, disgraced undercover narcotics officer Nick Tellis (Patric) is brought back in to the force to investigate the murder of another undercover narcotics officer Michael Calvess (Van Sprang), which has after several months still remains unsolved. As part of the investigation Tellis finds himself teamed up with the volatile senior Detective Henry Oaks (Liotta) the former partner of Calvess, as they try to find out the truth behind Calvess’s murder.

Review: When it comes to naming my favourite directors Joe Carnahan is definatly one of the more guilty pleasures on the list, having loved his visceral style of film making which combines eye popping action with whip smart dialogue, which unsurprisingly has in the past lead to comparisons being drawn between himself and the equally awesome Quentin Tarantino, which is no bad thing and no doubt the reason I’ ve been such a big fan of his work, since the first time I saw “Smokin’ Aces” (2006) with this love for his work extended to even the more commercial projects such as his big screen adaptation of “The A-Team” (2010) which he managed to drag out a long mooted development hell.

Building on his earlier short film “Gun Point”, while also drawing heavy inspiration from the documentary “The Thin Blue Line” (1978), Carnahan’s vision is almost like an homage to the likes of “Serpico” (1973) and “The French Connection” (1971) aswell as possibly unintentional echoes of “Training Day” (2001) as he strives for the same level of gritty rawness, shooting his vision of Detroit in washed out greys, while the sky remaining permanently overcast only further adds to the atmosphere.

Despite Carnahan having a reputation for big and loud film making, “Narc” is a very different and much grittier creature altogether, with Carnahan reeling back the big set pieces for smaller but non the less impactful sequences, the first of which he hits us with the moment the film starts, as syringes are filled followed by a disorientating handheld shot chase through a house estate, as a bystander is stabbed by a junkie as Narc officer Tellis chases down his charge ending in a playground shootout in which a heavily pregnant woman is caught in the crossfire, this is gritty side of Detroit that Carnahan has chosen as the canvas for his tale and serves as a suitable warning to the less informed movie goer, that things are only going to get a whole lot darker from this point on and this is one hell of an opener to proceedings, which doesn’t does grab the audience, but instead grabs them firmly by the shoulders, shaking them vigorously and demanding their attention.

Tellis is a character of heavy flaws, having battled drug addiction caused as the result of his undercover work and after his last case which essentially destroyed his career, he only wants to play the family man, rather than return to the force and it’s only after he’s given the promise of a desk job that he takes up the case. Oaks on the other hand is very much the picture of a loose cannon, introduced as he wraps a cue ball in a sock across the skull of a suspect, his unique take on police protocol echoing Tchéky Karyo’s psychotic detective Christini in Dobermann (1997). Still despite being polar opposites to each other they share a mutual respect from the start, while soon demonstrating similar approaches to their work, as their working relationship is far from being a case of good cop / bad cop but rather bad cop and really bad cop, with the ends truly justifying the means for the most part.

The strength of this film is truly with the powerhouse performances from the two leads, with Liotta just edging it over Patric, but then Liotta has always pulled out great performances when working with Carnahan as also seen in Smokin’ Aces (2006) the second of their collaborations, making it partnership I would love to see more from in the future, but it’s his performance here which proves to be his best in quite awhile, as he portrays Oaks as a member of the walking dead aged by the daily horrors and having long lost whatever faith his had in humanity along time ago. Liotta really took his character commitment seriously here and it shows, taking on extra weight for the role aswell as donning a fat suit and prosthetics to help age him further and add to the heavy build his character has, while in some scenes making him looking like a younger Brian Cox. Still despite the frequently violent nature of Oaks he still finds tenderness for his former partner’s family who he has taken on the responsibility of supporting, while seemingly providing his sole link to the rest of humanity. Still the scenes with just Liotta and Patric such as their initial coffee shop meeting fizzle with intensity and presence as they both bounce off each other, with the climax being truly worth the build up and frequent flashbacks that we go through on the journey to uncover the grim truth.

While having a highly visual style Carnahan, also has a great ear for dialogue (aswell as creative uses for the work fuck) and more than happy to drive his story through his dialogue rather than gratuitous action sequences, with the day to day investigations proving just as fascinating as the main case, as the banter between the two detectives adds real depth and character to the scene, including a memorable suspected bathtub suicide which later turns out to be real contender for the Darwin Awards, aswell a great insight into the detective mind of Tellis and his ability to piece together the most seemingly random of clues.

During the film’s production frequent financial issues cropped up, which also saw the production run out of money at one point, leading to Liotta and Patric working for free to keep the production running, while also having a record 21 producers, which meant that the film actually had more producers than it had speaking parts, with Tom Cruise also joining as an executive producer to help give the film a wider audience reach than it would have got normally, but despite this it still sadly remains a largely unseen film. Still this partnership with Cruise would also lead to brief working relationship between Carnahan and Cruise which ended after creative differences on “Mission Impossible 3”, which like the Coen Brothers vision for “Batman” can now only sadly be imagined.

While certainly the most subtle film on Canahan’s C.V, Narc still has many of his classic trademarks and by toning down the action to concentrate on the drama, it only serves to highlight his strengths as a director further, while proving a real treat for those of us who like our thriller with a tar black edge to them, while also worth watching for what could be the best performances from both Patric and Liotta in a long time.

Dark City

2011-09-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Title: Dark City
Director: Alex Proyas
Released: 1998
Staring: Rufus Sewell, William Hurt, Kiefer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly, Richard O’ Brien, Ian Richardson, Bruce Spence, Colin Friels, John Bluthal, Mitchell Butel, Melissa George

Plot: John (Sewell) wakes up naked in a hotel bathtub, his memories erased and a mutilated prostitute on the bed. Soon John finds himself framed for a string of brutal and bizarre murders and on the run from not only the police, but also the strange trench coat clad men known only as “The Strangers” as he tries to piece together his missing memories.

Review: For some reason Alex Proyas seems to constantly be just below the public conscious, which is only all the more strange when you consider the fact that he is not making cult or indie films, but mainly big budget mainstream productions, despite some of these films such as “The Crow” and this film later gaining cult status, despite never intentionally being made for such an audience. Still despite his success he still remains largely under the radar, with his films being better known than the man calling the shots, meaning that frequently little comparison is drawn between his films.

Okay before I go any further, this is a film which I would recommend going into blind, to make the most of it’s highly surreal atmosphere and clever plotting which takes the viewer on a gripping ride through the kafka-esq world which Proyas has crafted with this film which blends elements of Noir with shade of sci-fi to a create a truly potent blend, while this world he has crafted in many ways feels similar to the one seen in “The Crow” (1994) it also has definite shades of Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil” (1985) and Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis” (1927) also though to say anymore would risk giving the game away, which I will no doubt do throughout this article so treat this as your step off point, as there is a high risk of spoilers ahead.

Hitting the ground running Proyas gives his audience little time to adapt to the situation being presented to them, as within minutes of John waking up in the bathtub he is receiving a phone call consisting of the possibly insane ramblings of the psychologist Dr. Schreber (Sutherland) who seemingly knows what has happened to John, but Proyas like Dr. Schreber refuses to give the game away this early and instead drip feeds the clues, allowing the audience to only discover things as John does, as he makes his way through Dark City, a city named after the fact that it constantly shrouded in darkness, with none of the residents remembering the last time it was daytime, while movie theatre fronts advertise movies with titles like “The Evil” and “Nightmare” hinting that nothing is quite what it seems.

While John runs around the city piecing together his past and evading the Strangers, whose arrival is normally accompanied with the chattering of their teeth, while they also have the ability to seemingly change the city at will, unaware that his is also being sought by Police inspector Burnstead (Hurt), who is investigating the string of mutilated prostitutes whose murders John is currently being linked to, picking the case up from another cop who seemingly has been driven mad by his investigation into the murders with Burnstead’s investigation only providing further pieces of the puzzle, while also creating a whole bunch of new question, such as what is the significance of the Spirals which the now insane cop obsessively draws, why does John keep being plagued by memories of shell beach or Dr. Schrebers maze experiments? Questions all answered in time but Proyas happily teases out the answers, but certainly to the point of frustrating his audience, a crime that “Lost” was certainly more than a little guilty of.

“Dark City” is packed with colourful and interesting characters, with Proyas assembling a more than capable cast to portray them, with each character introduced seemingly more unique than the last, with this even stretching to the strangers, who although they are uniformed by their flowing dark trench coats, chattering teeth and bald heads, still are easy to distinguish between, with Richard O’ Brian continuing his habit of turning up in the most interesting of places by appearing here as Mr Hand, while proving a truly chilling voice for the strangers until the later introduction of their leader Mr. Book (Richardson), but even then his presence in none the less unnerving whenever he is onscreen.

The art direction throughout is stunning with Proyas using the sprawling cityscape to powerful effect, while pulling the focus in closer to revel the “Brazil” Esq set design with the city designed to appear as a sprawl of concrete and steel, with the sole source of light this city sees coming from the streetlights and strip lights, which only adds to the feeling that this film is essentially a spiritual sequel to it, while also coming across like a forerunner to the “The Matrix” (1999) which was released a year later and would also use some of the same sets, while the constantly changing cityscape can be found as an equal inspiration for “Inception” (2010). Proyas throughout the film constantly seems to be looking for ways to add surreal layers, while the decision to shoot the film in constant darkness, is nothing short of ballsy, especially as it’s far from the easiest conditions to shoot under and Proyas avoids the usual pitfalls this setting creates were usually the audience usually struggles to see what is happening on screen. Proyas also makes the most of the strangers ability to change things within the city, as buildings side into position or rise seemingly from nowhere, as he treats his setting like a giant building set, with the moving building shot like the majority of the film using old school effects and bringing back fond memories for myself of the Pirate Accountants in “Monty Python’s: The Meaning of Life”, while the constantly changing landscape frequently happening shortly after the audience has grown accustomed to the latest layout, while the ability to change the city on whim is also used to hint at hidden powers which John may process himself, yet another intriguing piece of this elaborate puzzle.

“Dark City” is the kind of film designed to inspire much like the films which paved the way to it creating and yet for some reason remains like Proyas under the radar for the majority of movie goers and it’s only more of a shame that we are willing to heap praise upon films such as “The Matrix” and “Inception” for their originality of vision, when they clearly seem to be taking cues from this film, not that the Wachowski’s are going to admit it anytime soon, unlike Nolan who modestly admitted to finding inspiration from this film and its own sources of inspiration while writing “Inception”. Still I’m not sure that I can truly describe this movie, which is a work of such creativity and vision that I’m more than sure that i’m not doing it justice, especially when it is a film best experienced first and then discussed and dissected at length preferably over some really good coffee and that’s what I’m going to now urge you all to do and uncover the secrets of “Dark City” for yourself.

Donkey Punch

2011-08-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

Title: Donkey Punch
Director: Oliver Blackburn
Released: 2008
Staring: Robert Boulter, Sian Breckin, Nichola Burley, Tom Burke, Julian Morris, Jaime Winstone, Jay Taylor, Nichola Burley

Plot: Lisa (Breckin), Kim (Winstone) and Tammi (Burley) are three friends on holiday in Mallorca, helping Kim get over a recent break up. A chance encounter with four young men, who in turn invite them back to their yacht to party. Once they get out to sea, a combination of drink, drugs and casual sex, lead to one of the girls being killed by a risqué sex act called the “Donkey Punch”. In the ensuing panic the boys quickly plot to cover up the event, as the surviving girls now find themselves fighting for survival.

Review: Film4 has in the past been responsible for producing some great films in the past few years including “Series 7: The Contenders” (2001), Buffalo Soldiers (2001) and “Shaun of the Dead” (2004), this however is not one of those films.

Plot wise it's one that is far from original and one we have seen more than a few times before and certainly handled better than it is here, were a group find themselves in a tricky situation which only gets worse the more they attempt to get themselves out of it, usually because of bad choices and questionable morality. Here once more those same things are all present only with Director Blackburn attempting to give proceedings a Larry Clarke esq twist, by including gratuitous sex, drugs and nudity only without none of the improvised indie charm which Clarke brings to his films, as Blackburn attempts to build a film on the controversy of death by sexual misadventure, via the titular “Donkey Punch” a risqué sex move involving punching a girl in the back of the neck prior to ejaculation (don’t ask me how people come up with these things) to maximise male pleasure.

It takes record time for the film to setup it’s premise as we are barely fifteen minutes into the film, before the girls are convinced into joining the boys they have just met on a private yacht, were they have been crewing and currently left to look after for the owner and even less time before the girls are busy popping pills and smoking crack with these same guys who they have just met, while Lisa and Tammi are even sooner demonstrating just how loose their personal morals are in a group sex session, which in turn leads to the trigger point of the groups troubles. Now normally from this point you’d expect things to speedily escalate, especially with the guys being worryingly quick in their plotting to cover things up, in a bid to save their personal reputations, while bizarrely confident that they can convince Tammi and Kim to go along with their story, after all they did only just kill their best friend but what hell right? Well from this point things tend to go the opposite way, with the speedy escalation of issues not happening as the film proceeds to grind almost to a halt as Blackburn seems to be almost trying to convince the audience that the girls might possibly go along with such a random plan. Thankfully things get back on track with the girls trying to escape from the increasingly psychotic guys, who in turn begin to fall out between themselves as each begins to question the motives of the other, but even after their first attempt to escape the girls still sit down to a meal with their now captives, rather than attempting to plot another escape plan, while the cover up plan only continues to grow all the more ludicrous the longer the film goes on.

None of the characters are particularly likable with the guys all being for the most part indistinguishable from each other, with the only exception being the knuckle dragging buffoon Bluey (Burke) who is largely responsible for one of the guys attempting to follow up on his boasts of performing the “Donkey Punch”, played here by Tom Burke who is clearly a graduate of the Danny Dyer school of acting, as he mumbles his way through the film and irritated the hell out of me every time he appeared on the screen, to point were his death really could not come quick enough. The rest of the cast outside of Jaime Winstone (Daughter of Ray “The Daddy” Winstone) are all unknowns, though it is hard to say if this is the reason for the performances being so bland or just the lack of characterisation which the script gives them, which seemingly only extends to their libidos and general self preservation.

The soundtrack is honestly one of the most boring things I have heard in awhile and comprises of either chic indie bands, popular dance tracks or the questionable score by François Eudes, who aims for a soundtrack similar to John Carpenters “Halloween Theme”, with a similar repeating rift, only this one goes nowhere and sounds like the cd has got stuck, rather than adding anything to the already minimal tension.

Gore wise things are surprisingly light, especially when Blackburn seems to be quite happy to be as explicit as possibly when it comes to sex and drugs, but seemingly onscreen violence is were he draws the line, with most of the deaths fails to have their money shot, in particular the highly original deaths by flare and outboard motor, both of which fall painfully flat here, especially with the later having no real pay off, especially for the death which was highlighted so frequently in the promotion materials for the film. Still seeing how the film budget didn’t apparently stretch to lighting it makes it pretty hard to see what is going on half the time

“Donkey Punch” is a heavily flawed film, suffering from major flaws such as uninteresting and indistinguishable characterization as well as some truly horrible pacing throughout which only makes what is a relatively short run time an incredibly tedious experience to sit through as despite the curious title, this film is seriously lacking any kind of punch.

The Host

2011-08-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Title: The Host
Director: Bong Joon-ho
Released: 2006
Staring: Kang-ho Song, Hie-bong Byeon, Hae-il Park, Doona Bae, Ah-sung Ko

Plot: Gang-du (Song) is a slovenly snack bar worker whose ordinary and care free existence is thrown into chaos when a monster suddenly appears from the depths of the Han river, kidnapping his daughter Hyun-seo (Ko) and forcing him to band together with his eccentric family to rescue her.

Review: Despite receiving rave critical reviews upon its release, which saw it making the top ten lists of several critics, including (All mighty film making genius) Quentin Tarantino’s top 20 films released since 92, aswell as being one of the 1000 movies to see before you die. Despite all this praise I was not a fan the first time I saw this film with that opinion hardly changing the second time round, yet the positive reviews for this film continued to bombard me, with the film being frequently a topic of conversation, whenever I spoke to fellow film junkies about Asian cinema and it has since those original viewings made me question my opinion of this film and whether I had missed something that everyone else was seeing with this film.

Following on from the genre bending antics of his second feature “Memories of Murder” director Joon-ho here turns his attention to the Monster movie genre in particular the movies of the 1950’s and 60’s were creatures were frequently the result Radiation from Atomic Bombs or Chemicals (also frequently radioactive), with Joon-ho’s mutated tadpole (yes really) being a result of some 200 bottles of formaldehyde being dumped into the Han river, inspired largely by a scarily similar incident in 2000, were an American mortician working at the Yongsan Military Base, made the dubious decision of ordering his staff to pour 120 liters of formaldehyde down the Morgue drain and while it didn’t spawn any monsters in the Han river, which also serves as the source of Seoul’s drinking water, it did unsurprisingly for this reason spark much Anti-American feeling in South Korea, one of the themes hiding here beneath the B-movie exterior, along with themes of homeland security, pollution and government misinformation, but rather than preaching these opinions Joon-ho instead uses them as vague nods, to help ground his fantastical story into a more believable and easily recognizable and contextual framework.

Rather than play peek-a-boo with his creature or save it’s big revel for the third reel Joon-ho proudly unleashes his monster on an unsuspecting audience with barely fifteen minutes into the film, as he drops it from the Wonhyo Bridge and soon after on the general public lounging on the banks of the Han river, no doubt to down to the advantage of having a half decent monster, which he uses to power effect with a jaw dropping opening rampage shot from a ground level prospective which only further throws you into the ensuing chaos and confusion which erupts, as the monster sets about chowing down on the locals, with the creatures movements scarily lifelike as the creature charges through the panicking crowds, slipping on surfaces and destroying anything which happens to fall in it’s path, while also demonstrating some fantastical gymnastic ability as it swings around bridge beams by it’s tail.

At the centre of this reimagining of the monster movie is Gang-du, whom despite being a lazy bum, also is a dotting father to his feisty seventh grade daughter Hyun-seo, storing a empty noodle cup of coins to buy her a new phone, despite her frequently dismissing his attempts at being a good parent, with Gang-du being seen more as a big brother type figure to her than anything resembling her father, with the elderly Hee-bong (Beyon) struggling to keep his family together, especially with further issues coming from Gang-du’s sister and fading archery champion Nam-joo (Bae) and his brother the former activist turned unemployed College Graduate Nam-il (Park), who despite their individual quirks and strains caused by the lack of cash, they remain faithfully loyal to each other, something especially shown as they are forced to band together as makeshift monster hunters, to rescue Hyun-seo who herself is no damsel in distress, as she proves herself none the less resourceful as she attempts to orchestrate her own escape from the monsters sewer lair. What is special here though is the empathy that Joon-ho manages to extract from the audience, for these less than perfect characters, so that you actually feel for their cause and want to see them succeed even as the odds begin to mount against them, with Gang-du proving to be cinema’s least likely hero, with Joon-ho resisting the urge to pull a role reversal and suddenly turn his slow witted character suddenly into some form of heroic monster slayer, as so frequently seen in films which have come before it, with Joon-ho’s direction keeping all his actions like all the characters true to their individual characteristics.

While Gang-du and his family set out to hunt down the monster and rescue Hynn-seo, the military set about launching their multi-tiered clean up operation, with the survivors from the initial attack being rounded up and quarantined, while armed troops setup road blocks and begin fumigating the streets, in the lead up to the release of the biological agent known as “Agent Yellow” in an attempt to stem the release of a new virus the creature carries, though with the media being taken over and TV showing government hysteria and misinformation, it has to be questioned how much truth there is to the panic of a virus being carried by the creature.

While largely playing things straight Joon-ho still manages several moments of natural humour which add an additional layer of warmth to the family, who are frequently at the centre of these scenes, from Gang-du running behind a fumigation truck to the family surreally collapsing into hysterical mourning at a memorial for the victims of the monsters rampage. Outside of the family unit the film is also populated with humorous including a headphone wearing girl completely oblivious to the monster on a rampage and hordes of screaming people running past her, aswell as the equally amusing hazmat wearing scientist who slips on the floor and tries to cover for it by pretending nothing happened atoll. What is most interesting though is how suddenly Joon-ho switches the tone of the film from humorous to moments of sudden emotion caused by a sudden death, as frequently finds new ways of catching the audience off guard, while also reminding us how effective blood in the rain can look when used correctly much like the power of blood on snow and it’s an effect used to great power here during a pivotal scene.

While “The Host” might be a fun monster movie, but despite all the cleaver touches Joon-ho throws into the mix, it still suffers from a lagging middle section, which upon revisiting the film I now recognise as being the main cause of my frustration on previous viewings and certainly stops me from rating it as highly as other critics, while at the same time I don’t deny that it’s a film still worth watching, just perhaps it’s best watched without the hype and with the expectations built up by exaggerated reviews, for as fun as it is “The Host” is certainly not as essential as most would have you think it is.

Kickboxer

2011-08-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Title: Kickboxer
Director: Mark DiSalle, David Worth
Released: 1989
Staring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Alexio, Dennis Chan, Michel Qissi, Steve Lee, Rochelle Ashana, Haskell V. Anderson

Plot: When Kurt Sloane’s (Van Damme) brother Eric (Alexio) is crippled by undefeated champion Tong Po (Qissi), forcing Kurt to seek out a reclusive trainer Xian Chow (Chan) to train him in the art of Muay Thai, so that he can get his revenge against Tong Po

Review: Released a year after the epic “Bloodsport” (1988), “Kickboxer” is another key title in the Van Damme back catalogue, even if it is more or less the same story as “Bloodsport” with Van Damme fighting in another foreign tournament, while essentially being another showcase for the abilities of Van Damme, whom is shown here in his prime as he spends pretty much the whole film running through various training montages in the lead up to the final showdown with Tong Po and that is actually all this film is, which makes it unique in the fact that Directors Di Salle and Worth arn’t trying to cram in any of the usual questionable side plots which tend to show up these films, which for those of you not enthralled by a young Van Damme running through training routines might find this one more than a little tiresome.

Van Damme seen here as Kurt is very much an innocent character in a change from the usual cocky young bucks that Van Damme liked to play in the early part of his career though it would seem the directors would like to think this has something to do with his mother making him take Ballet lessons and Kurt's inital reaction when they fly out to Thiland is to be shocked by the violence of the Thai kickboxing circuit, unlike this brother the reigning American champion and general egotistical jackass and assuming because he is the U.S champion that it applies to fighting in Thiland as well completly ignoring the fact that they invented the sport, much less that he shows up without the slightest bit of research into how they fight and unsurprisingly gets his ass handed to him by Tong Po, in what seems to be the most one sided fight ever and serves to only make Tong Po all the more of a ruthless badguy, let alone the fact that we are introduced to him training by kicking a concrete pillar, which to most people might be enough of a warning to perhaps sit this fight out. Still despite being confined to a wheelchair, it seems that it doesn’t make Eric any less of a dick, as randomly gropes nurses and generally sulking when there isn’t an attractive female to hit on, but I have to ask if his mullet and moustache combo was ever a good look even back in the 80’s?

Having been put on the path of revenge, it’s not long before Kurt teams up with the eccentric trainer Xian, who not only gets all the best lines in the movie, while having a highly questionable training regime which ranges from the traditional scenes of Kurt running through punch and kick combos, to the more random moments such as Xian dropping coconuts onto the torso of Kurt, while also having him kicking a tree until his leg breaks, while the best of these being when he get’s Kurt drunk at the local bar before having Kurt demonstrating his...well shall we say limited dancing skills (apparently he didn’t learn much from those ballet lessons), while unbeknown to Kurt taunting the local gangsters to attack Kurt who is left to defend himself against them while clearly not having a clue as to why everyone keeps trying to attack him.

When it comes to baddies in Van Damme movies Tong Po was interestingly named number two in a recent article over on the underated “The Jaded Viewer” and it’s easy to see why, for all although he’s not as monstrous as Bolo Yeung’s Chong Li in “Bloodsport”, Qissi is still imposing with his long braid and manic eyes, let alone how confidently he holds himself in the ring, doing anything it takes to win his matches, while caring even less for sporting behaviour especially when he kicks out the towel thrown in by Kurt before then crippling Eric, though seeing how much of a jerk Eric is I think we all were hoping that he took him out permanently. Still Tong Po cares little for Westerners who it would seem much like his gangster bosses who have just as much contempt for the westerners, especially when they dump Eric and Kurt on the sidewalk after the match, but essentially these are cardboard thin villains at best and might as well be shown kicking puppies for how subtle the characterisation is here.

The fight scenes are all pretty great, with Van Damme choreographing these scenes to great effect, while the fact that all the fighter were professional fighters before they became actors, with Alexio a former American Kickboxing champion, while Qissi was a long term training partner for Van Damme, with Qissi helping Van Damme to train for his role in “Bloodsport” and certainly proves himself capable of holding his own against all comers. The climatic showdown between Kurt and Tong Po, gets another level added to it by having the two opponents wrapping their fists in hemp, dipped in resin and then covered in broken glass in a scene frequently talked about amongst Van Damme fans, despite the fact that neither of them causing as much damage as you’d expect from such a stipulation, but it’s a nice dramatic touch which adds to drab setting for such a climatic showdown, by which point any conceivable thing that can be done to make Tong Po and baddies seem even more evil is thrown into the mix, with Tong Po (unnecessarily) raping Kurts girl friend and even (Equally unnecessarily) stabbing Xian’s dog in an attempt to throw Kurt off his fame and generally seem more evil!

“Kickboxer” is very much a flawed film, especially when it is essentially a one thread story of a man’s quest for revenge and the path is takes him down and essentially giving you the kind of movie the title suggests. Nostalgia for 80’s action films like this one has meant that many reviewers seem to view it with some kind of nostalgic haze, but compared to “Bloodsport” outside of some decent fight scenes and the training montages the parts which fall between, are frequently bland and uninteresting, which can be also said for most of the supporting cast with the character of Eric no doubt being alot more effective had he been killed off rather than crippled, at least that way it would have not only potentially added alittle more emotional depth, while also saving the audience from having to endure Alexio’s sulky performance.

Mortal Kombat

2011-08-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

Title: Mortal Kombat
Director: Paul Anderson
Released: 1995
Staring: Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson, Christopher Lambert, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa,

Plot: Once every generation, there is an interdimensional martial arts tournament held, known simply as Mortal Kombat and designed to limit invasions between the realms. Having won the last nine tournaments, the realm of Outworld and now only need to win one more tournament to allow it’s Emperor Shao Kahn to invade and conquer Earth Realm. Now Shaolin warrior Liu Kang (Shou) seeking revenge against the tournament host Shang Tsung (Tagawa) for the death of his brother, joins the other fighters picked by Raiden (Lambert) The God of Thunder to face against Shao Kahn and the warriors of Outworld in a last bid attempt to save Earth.

Review: Regular readers of the blog will probably know already of my love for the “Mortal Kombat” series and it seemed about time that I actually reviewed the film I consider to be my ultimate guilty pleasure.

Video Game adaptations have in the past (with usually good reason) been frequently greeted with much critical distain and despite Uwe Boll having spent the majority of his career making a vast number of the horrible adaptations there have been to date, which only makes this all the more special let alone the fact that it broke the chain of bad video game adaptations when it was released after the legendry flops “Super Mario Bros.” (1993) and “Street Fighter” (1994) the later of which Jean Claude Van Damme ironically choose to do instead of this film, which unlike those two is awesome! Were this film succeeds were the others failed, is by Director Anderson taking the key ideas from the game and giving them his own twist in almost the same way that was attempted with “Mortal Kombat: Rebirth” only Anderson is instead applying those same ideas to a traditional Kung Fu format, while keeping the more fantastical elements to a minimum while still finding a way to make such trademark elements such as the fantastical fighting styles of the outworld fighters like Scorpion and Sub Zero

The other strength here is by limiting the characters to those from the first game, while other video game tie in’s got bogged down with trying to work in everyone’s favourite characters, something especially memorable from the mess which “Street Fighter” became by trying to include every single character and while “Mortal Kombat” throws in several original creations such as Art Lean (Edwards), while the tournament setting allows for these characters to be introduced and serve their purpose before being handily disposed of. Infact the format perhaps works alittle too well seeing how after the first quarter when the Trio of Liu Kang, Movie star Johnny Cage (Ashby) and Sonya Blade (Wilson) arrive on the island, it is essentially fighting from that moment on with little or no break between each sequence, but this what we as fans want to see, rather than clumsy attempts to add depths to what are at their best, as much as we want to deny it are little more than paper thin caricatures, which is fine for the purpose they serve in the video game world and it’s because of this same reason that other attempts to adapt games frequently fail, as directors try to either stick too close to the source material or take it too far from this material so that it alienates even the most hardcore of the fanbase. Anderson would later take his skill of adaptation to the “Resident Evil” franchise eventually taking it in a completly new direction than the games, forming a franchise which currently shows no signs of slowing down, as seen by the success of the recent forth entry in the series “Resident Evil: Apocalypse”, despite the film not exactly bringing much to the Zombie genre they frequently emulate, other than a series of entry level zombie movies, before their fans move onto the more legendry films of George Romero and in way the same thing could be said for “Mortal Kombat” which is almost like an entry level movie for the Kung Fu genre, aswell as a thinly veiled adaptation of “Enter the Dragon” only with the added bonuses of multi armed mutants and soul stealing sorcerers.

The action scenes are all handled well with even the non martial art trained amongst the cast, such as Ashby and Wilson both coming across as convincing martial artists, with the majority of them being handled by Shou, who surprisingly would fall off the radar after this film, which only makes it more of a shame he wasn’t seen in similar roles, with his star pretty much dropping after this films release. All the fighters show off their trademark moves with some such as Scorpions spear and Johnny Cage’s package punch are all accounted for, while Goro is pretty much a perfect adaptation from his video game persona and only benefits further from being an animatronics creation, especially when you look at the seriously dated CGI used to create Reptile, which I remember being alot more impressive the first time I saw this film, but then the same could also be said for “The Lawnmower Man” (1992). Still unlike the CGI the techno heavy soundtrack still kicks ass, with the opening theme perfectly setting the tone for the fun which follows.

The big surprise here is the lack of gore, especially seeing how the Mortal Kombat series are some of the most violent fighting games ever made and while I wasn’t expecting to see Sub Zero performing his fatality of tearing off an opponents head and spinal cord, it is still a tricky game to adapt faithfully enough to stay in tune with what fans have come to expect from the series. Still it does manage to throw in a few surprises in this stake, much like the surprise appearance of the games memorable “Pit” stage and the gory demise of Reptile but its still all fun times even without the gory extremes of the game, but then Anderson it’s also worth remembering is the same director who gave us a gore free zombie movie (See: Resident Evil).

As much as other critics have blasted this flick in the past, frequently trying to lump it in with Street Fighter and while admittedly the humour can seem alitle forced in places and it’s sequel “Mortal Kombat: Annihilation” is utter garbage, this still remains a great film. Even now as I try to look at it through a more critical viewpoint, rather than the rose tinted glasses of childhood nostalgia and it did also spawn “Mortal Kombat: Conquest” a great TV show which is still in need of a decent DVD release and while the intregring “Mortal Kombat: Rebirth” has now sadly drifted away from its intriguing “Dark Knight” style reimagining into more familiar territory after being turned into "Mortal Kombat: Legacy", proving once more that studio exec’s really don’t know shit.

Exit The Dragon, Enter The Tiger

2011-07-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

Title: Exit The Dragon, Enter The Tiger
Director: Tso Nam Lee
Released: 1976
Staring: Bruce Li, Chang Yi, Lung Fei, Shan Mao, Kam Kong, Got Siu Bo, Cheng Fu Hung

Plot: After Bruce Lee mysteriously dies his friend David (Li) sets out to find out why.

Review: Bruceploitation is a strange subgenre of Exploitation cinema, seeing how it’s essentially based on cashing in on Bruce Lee’s legacy and fame and is unique in being the only Exploitation sub genre based around a person rather than a theme or setting. The majority of these films featured actors of varying martial arts ability, with most hired for their resemblance to Bruce Lee which again varied greatly between those with an uncanny resemblance to those who bore absolutely no resemblance to the great man whatsoever! Bruce Li thankfully is one of the better ones.

Opening with Bruce Lee (also played here by Li) having a premonition of his own death, which he shares with his friend David aka Tiger, with the setup it would seem being that Tiger is the true predecessor to Bruce, as further highlighted by the title sequence in which he gets to show off his skills while being sound tracked to Issac Hayes’s groovy “Theme From Three Tough Guys”, which shares more than few similarities to the “Enter The Dragon” theme. Still I don’t think I’ve seen a film so keen to make sure that the audience gets the message than this film, as nearly every wall in the film seems to be covered with posters of Bruce Lee, well those which aren’t covered with pornography which for some unknown reason doesn’t seem to faze anyone. The DVD cover is none the less insane, I mean look at it, let alone the fact that David seems to have a tiger growing out of his armpit! I also love the quote on the back cover “See Bruce Lee choose his successor!” almost as if the studio are trying to make out that this film is some kind of biopic, but then it’s this sheer randomness which makes the Bruceploitation genere like so much exploitation cinema so much fun.

With the sudden death of Bruce and shameless use of stock footage from his funeral, David returns from Hong Kong and sets about conducting his own investigation, essentially consists of hanging around GoGo Bars, harassing assorted members of The Baron’s gang and generally kicking alot of ass, with David eventually discovering that The Baron was attempting to use Bruce to help him smuggle heroin, which has to be one of the most batshit insane theories about his death, since the theory that he faked his own death so he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police to bust up drug rings, but no doubt a theory explored further in another of these films.

The plot is pretty straightforward and is consists pretty much of David switching between detective mode and ass kicking mode, while the second half of the movie David for some reason suddenly starts referring to himself as Tiger, but then are really trying to make sense of a film with a film as insane as it is. Out of the two modes, his ass kicking one is certainly provides the more enjoyable parts of the film, even though they do suffer in places from some sloppy editing which sadly takes away from these scenes which are otherwise great and frequently inventive, while for some they may go on alittle too long, but seeing how tedious some of the non fighting scenes are I was actually happy that these scenes went on as long as they do. The final beach showdown is certainly great to look at cinematically, even if it does bring once again into question the health and safety regulations of Hong Kong film sets.

Li whose real name is Ho Chung Tao, was given the name of Bruce Li by producer Jimmy Shaw spent most his career making Bruceploitation movies, with this film being the one which would truly launch his career, even if he hated his screen name citing that “I don’t like it, because I can act like him, but I can’t be him”. In an alternative reality I have no doubt that Li, much like the equally overlooked Conan Lee and could have been a much bigger star had the studios not been so keen to pass him off as a replacement Bruce Lee.

“Exit The Dragon, Enter The Tiger” is one of the better films in the genre and while there are certainly more random titles under the Bruceploitation label (see “The Clones of Bruce Lee”) this isn’t an overly bad film if judged on its fight scenes, while the rest of the film can be slightly testing to get through, while it still shame that we never got to see Li reach the same heights as the man he imitated.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

2011-07-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

Title: The Hills Have Eyes

Director: Alexandre Aja

Released: 2006

Staring: Aaron Stanford, Kathleen Quinlan, Emilie de Ravin, Dan Byrd, Tom Bower, Billy Drago, Robert Joy, Ted Levine

Plot: After breaking down in the desert a family find themselves being hunted by a group of Cannibalistic mutants

Review: Out of the new breed of Horror directors of recent years few have managed to reach the same levels of the masters of horror who came before them, while even more frustrating the ones who showed true potential such as Eli Roth, now seem to have lost their way with Roth seemingly these days more interested in producing and giving questionable performances as an actor. Still since I saw Director Aja's debut film “Haute Tension” released in the UK under the grindhouse esq title “Switchblade Romance” and the more straightforward title interpretation of “High Tension” for it’s US release, he has been for myself a Horror director worth watching and this film only further cemented for me that reputation, for it is one thing to remake a classic horror film, but to be personally hand picked by the films original director and Horror legend Wes Craven after he was shown Aja’s debut by his long time producing partner Marianne Maddalena, to helm the remake of a film which was once branded the scariest movie ever made, leading to a fun rivalry between Craven and Sami Rami, who would also reference the original in a film I'd also give that title to “The Evil Dead”.

Teaming up once again with his creative partner Grégory Levasseur to devastating effect once more, as right from the start Aja lets the audience know that he’s not going to be pulling any punches, from the opening pick axe attack on a group of scientists, to his opening title montage which combines nuclear testing footage with intercuts of birth defects caused by Agent Orange in Vietnam, yet still hauntingly manage to double as convincing effects of nuclear fallout. Needless to say it’s a gruesome and shocking foundation that he only builds on, from this moment onwards, though showing a maturity to lure the audience into a false sense of security teasing out the next attack which again proves to be as equally effective as like the family the audience is bombarded with chaos and confusion, with the second of these attack seeing things taken perhaps alittle to far, especially as it descends into a rape and murder party which does have the feeling of Aja pushing things perhaps alittle too far, while at the same providing the catalyst for the change in seemingly eternal pacifist Doug (Standford), who is shown as an academic and thinker unlike his more openly aggressive and testosterone driven father in law Big Bob (Levine). It’s only after the mutants attack that Doug snaps and pretty much goes postal, much like David in “Straw Dogs” (1971) were an equally horrific (but unconvincingly acted by Susan George) attack on his wife leads him to abandon his academic persona for more primal urges and it’s a key reference used by Aja and further highlighted by Doug’s broken glasses.

When it comes to the gore, once again Aja isn’t pulling punches as to be expected and if revenge is a dish best served cold, then the revenge Doug hands out is Icy cold with his change startling to say the least, as he changes from someone who actively avoids confrontation, to a man running on pure survival mode as he turns the tables on the mutants by actively hunting them down with the family dog Beast whom also seems to undergo a similar change for some unknown reason) . The gore quota is giddily high here, as limbs are lopped off and violence is kept primal especially at the hands of the mutants, who at the same time they still maintain a high level of intelligence and able to pull off planned attacks on the family and seen communicating via Walkie-Talkie, yet frustratingly there is little depth given to the mutants beyond their surface abnormalities, so any theories on the chain of leadership is left with the audience to figure out for themselves. Still I loved the fact that the mutants live in a town made for nuclear testing and that they are creations as a result of those weapons of death and destruction, characteristics they now choose to embody.

The mutant appearances are all very much grounded in reality with Aja and Levasseur looking at the effects of nuclear fallout in places such as Chernobyl and Hiroshima, aswell as more bizarrely a Pogues concert which the pair attended while in Chicago, while the effects used are a highly impressive mixture of flawless CGI and old school effects, allowing them to create some hideous looking creations, with each of the mutants having their own individual look, making them easy to distinguish between and allowing what little characterisation there is to come across alot clearer.

While it might have the disadvantage of being a remake, Aja has managed to rise above the comparisons to the original and is very much it’s own creation and more than capable of holding it’s own against the original, making it one of the few remakes to match up to the original, while Aja manages to bring enough original ideas to prevent the feeling of over familiarity which often comes with remakes and it only makes it more of a shame that he opted not to come back for the sequel, which although more original, lack any of the edge that this film has even if the tastefulness of some of the scenes can certainly be questioned, while at the same time only furthering my opinion that Aja is a modern horror director worth keeping an eye on.

Doomsday

2011-07-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

Title: Doomsday
Director: Neil Marshall
Released: 2008
Staring: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Malcolm McDowell, Alexander Siddig, David O’Hara, Craig Conway, Adrian Lester, Chris Robson, Leslie Simpson, Sean Pertwee, Darren Morfitt

Plot: In 2008 the reaper virus was discovered in Scotland, infecting hundreds and killing millions, leading the authorities to quarantine Scotland from the rest of England to prevent the prevent the virus spreading further. Three decades later the virus appears again in London and Eden Sinclair (Mitra) and a team of specialists have been sent back to Scotland to search for the elusive Dr. Kane (McDowell), while in the time since the quarantine has caused those who survived to become brutal savages

Review: For one reason or another I’ve never got around to watching this film until recently when it happened to be on “Sci-fi”, so recalling that it was somewhere in depths of the “Lovefilm” rental list I thought I’d actually give it a watch, especially seeing how the list currently stands around 475 queued titles, I doubted that it would be getting watched anytime soon otherwise, especially with the reviews on it’s initial release being pretty much meh! With this in mind I can’t say that I was exactly expecting much from this film.

Right from the start there is a creeping sensation of Déjà vu, as the military forces gun down a frenzied mob of the potentially infected, in scenes all to reminiscent of “28 Weeks later” (2002), with this feeling only growing throughout when it suddenly becomes clear that Marshall is attempting to use the Tarantino style of film making by scrapbooking and adapting scenes and ideas from his favourite films and while Tarantino takes his inspirations and gives them his own unique spin to create a multi layered homage to the cinema he adores, were as here Marshall seems to be simply cutting and pasting scenes were needed into his Scottish setting, which at times seems to the sole original element on hand and while it largely works, it certainly took me more and more out of the film, every time one of these lifted sequences appeared as I tried to remember were I’d seen them before, with the inspirations coming from the predictable such as “Escape from New York” (1981) and “Mad Max” (1979) with Eden’s character being an amalgamation of the leads of those two films, with the loner attitude and eye patch of New York’s Snake Pliskin and the cold personality of Mad Max’s Max Rockatansky with both drawing this nature from their surroundings aswell as the trauma of losing a loved one, with Eden losing her mother during the opening riots, causing her to become isolated from the rest of society. Still despite being a combination of two of cinema’s greatest antiheroes, Eden stands up well which is no doubt largely on part to a believable performance by Mitra, seen here in one of her first leading roles, with the original intention of giving her a handful of witty one liners being thankfully removed, while more questionable aspects such as her bionic eye work surprisingly well, while only adding more much needed originality to her character. Still both of those films director atleast get some recognition in the form of Soldiers Miller and Carpenter, though this felt like brick to the face in the terms to subtly much like Marshall’s blatant plagiarism of ideas.

Marshall’s vision for his quarantined Scotland is certainly an interesting one as the action is split between the apocalyptic and savage city, which I’m sure we are supposed to assume, is Glasgow which is now under the anarchic rule of Kane’s son Sol (Conway) who is one half psycho while the other half is pure side show barker as he rules the punk like Marauders with a mixture of violence and alternative cabaret which also includes an interesting use of the Fine Young Cannibals track “Good Thing” which has a whole bunch of interesting imagery now attached to it, thanks to this film like much of the 80’s influenced soundtrack, with Marshal originally aiming for an equally 80’s synth track, but later opting for a heavy orchestra score instead.
The flip side to Marshall’s vision comes in the form of Dr. Kane’s Medieval influenced empire, were he has established himself as a Col. Kurtz esq figure and despite the country being in quarantine it certainly hasn’t stopped his group from using authentic looking medieval outfits and weapons, yet no mention of how he managed to convince his numerous followers to go along with the idea of taking things literally medieval. This sudden change of surrounding does however mean that you end up feeling that the group have somehow stumbled into another movie altogether.

The action sequences are all handed well from the city foot chase sequences and Mitra handles herself well in a fist fight with Marshall providing a good action quota throughout and even finding space for a couple of car chases, which again draw heavily from their inspiration with the first taking it from “Aliens” and the second seeming like a mash up of the best bits of the Mad Max trilogy, with the location being exchanged for the Scottish Highlands, which although it’s exciting to watch in places with some clumsy camera placement causing the illusion of high speed to seriously be lost to the point were pedestrians would no doubt be moving quicker than some of the vehicles..

As a director Marshall hasn’t really won me over with his films to date with both “Dog Soldiers” (2002) and “The Descent” (2005) being largely forgettable, while his last film “Centurion” (2010) was enjoyable enough but not enough to make him a director worth watching for future projects and I can’t say that this film really changed that opinion, even though it surprisingly proved to be a largely fun film despite it’s flaws, while it’s blatant plagiarism prevents it from becoming little more than disposable fun, even though Marshall seems all set to take us back to the Apocalyptic highlands judging by the open ending, I personally think that one trip is more than enough for most but the least cinematically educated of viewers.

The Final

2011-06-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Title: The Final
Director: Joey Stewart
Released: 2010
Staring: Marc Donato, Jascha Washington, Whitney Hot, Julin, Lindsay Seidel, Laura Ashley Samuels, Justin S. Arnold, Travis Tedford, Eric Isenhower, Vincent Silochan, Farah White, Zacherias Judge.

Plot: After being a target of the popular kids for years, a group of misfits and outcasts band together to plot their revenge on their tormentors.

Review: High school is hell! This is the general opinion I had of school which I recall as a daily ritual of beatings and humiliation, before going to college and truly finding myself, while those who tormented soon struggled and dropped out as they failed cope with no longer being the big fish in the little pond, so guess karma has a way of working things out. Still perhaps it’s because my own school days were so similar to the bullied teens seen here in this film, that in many ways I can relate to their plight, after all who hasn’t thought about getting revenge on someone whose sole purpose in life seems to be about making yours as miserable as possible, while at the same time certainly making it ripe for a horror twist.

While there might have been films in the past which have looked at similar themes of revenge on the tormentor such as Larry Clark’s explicit “Bully” (2001) and the slightly lighter “Mean Creek” (2004), while “Elephant” (2003) and “Zero Day” (2003) attempted to attach the theme to recreating the events of the Columbine High School Massacre, still for horror films this as far as I’m aware is a first, seeing how previous films have always focused on the individual pushed too far rather than a group and it’s this slight twist which certainly makes it more interesting, while also making it awhole lot more plausible, especially when their tormentors easily reach into double figures and to have one person extracting revenge against them all would no doubt have not been able to maintain the same level of focus that this film does on ensure that the so called victims know exactly why they are there.

The group are the usual collection of misfits and outcasts, all bullied and tormented for similar reasons, while the majority of them also have equally disturbing family lives with Ravi’s (Silochan) family barely communicating with each other, while Dane’s (Donato) parents are shown to be constantly fighting, as home provides little in the way of shelter for these teens who are all brought together under the leadership of ringleader Dane, who identifies their similarities to each other and entices them in with his plans for revenge. It’s strange though that once the revenge begins that he takes a backseat to the torture games instead preferring to torment the tormentors with extensive monologues and leaving the rest of the group to carry out the grunt work, ironically only getting his hands dirty when it comes to keeping the rest of the group in line with his plans.

Having lured thier tormentors to a mock costume party we see the group at the start of the party in their innocent looking costumes, which soon change to much more twisted ones once they get their tormentors were they want them, having drugged them all with a spiked punch, as if the second costumes are supposed to represent the darker alter ego’s of the group at the same time with their first costumes representing their usual faces of false innocence they present on a daily basis. The second costumes are also clearly designed to reference other horror films with Emily’s (Seidel) costume in particular basically being a copy of the one seen in “Audition” (2000), a reference only made all the more clearer once she starts her own brand of acupuncture on one of the male jocks.

While the film quickly descends into becpming yet another torture flick, director Stewart atleast bothers to stop the scenes from becoming the usual mix of gratuitous violence and prolonged torment, keeping the focus purely on revenge via Dane’s taunts as he addresses their captives and by also keeping the revenge aspect until the second half of the film, using the first half wisely to make the bullies as evil and vicious as he can. Still the revenge aspect atleast bothers to be slightly more creative than the host of Hostel clones we have seen in the last couple of years, as acidic skin cream and a cattle gun all come into play, with Jack (Isenhower) and Emily dishing out the majority of the revenge, with a focus on disfiguring and maiming their tormentors, before unceromonsley dumping them in the back room and moving onto the next victim, which was kind of a change from the usual torture to death, much like the fact that the group are more than willing to let their captive to walk out, knowing all to well that they will not only have to negotiate a maze of bear traps, but also the homicidal mute triplets who happily hunt down for sport those who want to take their chances in the woods. Still the worst torture of the whole film has to be when Jake starts playing the banjo, which irritatingly soundtracks the majority of scenes in a clear reference to Deliverance with the redneck vibe only added to by Jack’s Scarecrow costume. Now this is not to say that he is not talented, as he clearly know how to play the instrument, it’s just that it’s not exactly the most ideal instrument for building tension in a scene and in fact the majority of times it was used only took away from the film, much like the inclusion of the war veteran neighbour, whose inclusion could have easily been emitted.

While Stewart throws up a couple of twists throughout the film, such as the neutral friend Kurtis (Washington) who is seem befriending both groups, even sticking up for his bullied friends when he finds out how they have treated Bradley and it was his character which proved the most surprising twist, especially when the group soon begin to fall apart over what judgment he will face, with Dane soon being blinded by his hate while the others members of the group soon begin to suspect that he has lost focus from their original intentions as only highlighted by the ending which in many ways was almost predictable, seeing how the film has worked itself into a corner by this point and almost feel like Stewart is afraid to have the film without the group facing any form of punishment for their actions and even more so that he would be seen portraying the groups actions as an acceptable way for equally bullied viewers to deal with their own issues, though the setup is so clearly fantastical it would be doubtful that anyone could see it as a how to guide to dealing with bullies.

Originally released as part of the “After Dark Horrorfest” which has showcased equally noteworthy films such as “The Hamiltons” (2006) and “Frontier(s)” (2007) and this film is equally noteworthy as it is flawed, but for trying to do something different with an overly stale sub genre of horror, it’s worth giving a look even if the groups actions are ultimately questionable.

The Running Man

2011-06-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

Title: The Running Man
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Released: 1987
Staring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson, Yaphet Kotto, Marvin J. McIntyre, Mick Fleetwood, Professor Toru Tanaka, Gus Rethwisch, Jesse Ventura, Jim Brown, Erland Van Lidth, Dweezil Zappa

Plot: After being framed for a massacre he tried to prevent Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger), escapes from prison with two members of the underground resistance William (Kotto) and Harold (McIntyre). Plotting to escape the country he soon finds himself drawing the attention of Damon Killian (Dawson) who soon is pulling the strings to line up Ben and his friends as the latest contestants on his hit show “The Running Man” were they will be given a change to win their freedom, providing they can survive that is.

Review: Made at the tail end of his action films period before he moved onto more lighter subject matter, “The Running Man” for one reason or another seems to be frequently forgotten when fans reel of their favourite Arnie movies, which is a shame as it has all the trademarks of his Golden years I.E: One liners, cigars and a healthy dose of OTT action sequences, all of which are present and accounted for here, as well as the usual excuses for Arnie to show off his super strength. So if it ticks so many boxes why then is it so frequently overlooked? Sure that I was rating it so highly, due to the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia clouding my opinion I knew it was time to revisit what I honest belive is an underated classic.

Set in the near future of 2025 America, the film has the look of the majority of the 80’s post apocalyptic movies and when combined with a dated electro score by Harold Faltermeyer who with his synthesiser soundtracked some of the most iconic movies of the 80’s and it’s that same period were the score along with so many of this film keeps it firmly as a piece of classic 80’s nostalgia, while furthering the myth that the 80’s were better than they actually were. Still the idea of reality TV pushed to the extremes being explored in the film, feels only all the more relevant now, than it did upon the films release, with reality shows in recent years seeing contestants living on a rubbish dump as well as seeing who can stay awake for a week without sleep and with producers only continuing to scrape the barrel for ideas and push the boundaries of good taste, so how long is it before we see convicted criminals being executed for general entertainment?

It would seem that aswell as reality shows in 2025, society has also become a lot more obsessed with violence not only with the titular game show but also in a brief scene from “Climbing for Dollars” in which contests climb a rope to grab easy cash, while attack dogs jump eagerly directly below them, while a framed poster in Damon’s office advertising “The Hate Boat” only further emphasises the general mood of this alternative America, with TV being used as a general distraction from the failings of the government, giving TV Executives like Damon a power comparable to that of the government, as they essentially tell the masses what they should think and believe, even more emphasised by his audience shouting out their declaration of love for him at the start of the show and showering the audience with prizes to only further reinforce their material love for him. Still the casting of Dawson as Damon is an inspired piece of casting comparable to that of casting Jerry Springer in “Citizen Verdict” (2003), especially with Dawson being best known as the host of “Family Feud” and “Family Fortune” with his game show host persona jacked up to another level here, as Dawson is clearly having a blast playing Damon, as he plays the audience with smiles while having a truly ruthless side off camera, aswell as being the only baddie to have a comeback for Arnie’s trademark “I’ll be Back” in which he calmly responds with “Only in a rerun” which could honestly be one of my favourite moments of the film.

Plot wise the film rumbles along at a quick place, soon becoming a two thread story, as the action shifts between Ben and Co. as they make their way through the zones, facing off against the various stalkers, with the second main thread concerning Damon and his production team as they struggle to maintain control on the show, especially when Ben takes on a cult status with the audience who are soon backing him to win, rather than backing any of the shows stalkers with Ben inspiring the masses to fight against the brainwashing media and start thinking for themselves.

The cast outside of Arnie are all pretty much cult actors, with the majority of them getting their most recognisable roles, before slinking back into obscurity as is the case with the majority of the “Stalkers” with the only two perhaps recognisable for the more cult obsessed movie goer as is the case of Tanaka (still no idea what he is a professor of though) and more the more noteworthy Van Lidth, who is probably most memorable as the monstrous leader of “The Baldies” in the frequently over looked “The Wanderers” (1979) and here turns up as the opera singing Dynamo and who also seemingly drew the short straw when it came to costuming seeing how he is essentially a walking Christmas tree, while the other stalkers all get costumes more suiting of their personalities from Sub Zero’s (Tanaka) Psycho ice hockey gear, complete with razor sharp hockey stick to the road warrior Esq. get up of the chainsaw obsessed Buzzsaw (Rethwisch).

Gore wise it is surprisingly light, with only a couple of graphic deaths via barbed wire as well as an exploding head and while most of the gore is implied it still remains satisfying even if it’s holding back on some of the more gruesome moments, yet manages to convince the audience that they aren’t being short changed at the same time, which isn’t the easiest of things to pull off, especially when you consider how enthusiastic 80’s cinema was and even more so when it came to gore and violence.

It might bare much of a resemblance to the source novel, but the same could be said for “The Shining”, whose adaptation by Kubrick is frequently named amongst the best adaptations of Stephen King’s novels, unlike the more faithful and Stephen King approved adaptation by Mick Garris and here Glaser makes the smart choice of reeling in the scope of the novel for a more tight and restrained feel and all the more to max the talents of the assembled cast, while making the stalkers more like Gladiators with celebrity status, helps keep the action easy to follow especially with each of the stalkers having their own unique personality, it helps keep the action scenes fresh with each stalker posing their own challenges, unlike the novel who only had the one named hunter aswell as its gung-ho ending which now has unintentional echoes of 9/11.
It might lack subtly but didn’t all the best films of Arnie’s career and it might be more of the same, but it’s certainly not the worse and should definatly be ranked amongst his best, even if it doesn’t have the same cult following that some of the other key titles in his back catalogue have, one thing is clear and it's that everything else pretty much sucked about the 80's atleast they could make a decent action movie as this clearly proves.

Teeth

2011-05-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Title: Teeth
Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Released: 2007
Staring: Jess Weixler, Hale Appleman, Ashley Springer, Josh Pais, John Hensley, Nicole Swahn, Lenny Von Dohlen

Plot: Dawn (Weixler) is a spokesperson for local Christian abstinence group “The Promise”, while she unknowingly also suffering from a condition known as “vagina dentate” better known as a toothed vagina.

Review: “Teeth” is a film which is all about it’s concept much like “The Human Centipede” (2009), “Zombie Strippers” (2008) and “Snakes On A Plane” (2006) and while having a concept film sure helps to generate a lot of word of mouth press, these films usually end up being as quickly forgotten as they burst onto the public conscious, with this film certainly being similar to this extent like “Snakes On A Plane” for although it succeeded in generate a lot of interest on it’s release I’ve yet to find more than a handful of people who actually bother to watch that film when it came out, the same could also be said for "Teeth" though it’s not quite been forgotten yet, but this could also be a lot to do with the sheer snigger factor that the idea of a vagina with teeth tends to bring out in folks.

The directorial debut of Mitchell Lichtenstein (son of 60’s pop artist Roy Lichtenstein), here he has clearly aimed for shock appeal here by taking such a b-movie premise and one also previously explored in the slightly less subtle “Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy” (2004) and to an extent achieved it, especially how he had neighbours to the film set protesting the film, believing that the film was porn and only it's when you watch the film that you realise that he is more bizzarly and surprisingly aiming to hit the indie comedy market only to miss it completely as well as creating what is essentially an extremely tedious horror film at it’s core, no thanks to a painfully slow build up to the first real introduction of her condition, after hinting at it from the opening in which a young Dawn extra teeth unwittingly bite her step brother Brad’s wandering finger, which even more creepily he does in a paddling pool directly in front of their parents, an incestuous obsession he continues into adulthood. Still her condition is never fully explained though, seeing how their house is located in the shadow of a huge nuclear power station, we can only assume that Director Lichtenstein wants the audience to assume that this is the cause

Dawn’s is played convincingly by Weixler whom unsurprisingly picked up the jury price when the film was premiered at sundance, while also drawing comparisons to Meryl Streep. constantly being torn between her ever increasing sexual urges, while her religious beliefs, leave her stranded in the social no mans land between frigid and slut, a battle which rages on within her school as her fellow classmates face the continual pressures to give into their urges, meanwhile sex education classes have pictures of the female reproductive organs taped over no doubt due to pressures from the local religious community and further explaining the lack of knowlege about her own body Dawn posesses, with her own belief further driving home in her mind the idea of such areas a being taboo for any kind of self exploration, as seen in scenes of her cautiously and gingerly exploring herself. Still though many questions are raised in this film Lichtenstein chooses not to clarify the majority of them.

When faced with her own sexual awakening brought on by dating fellow promise member Toby (Appleman), and the rejection of his sexual advances, which in turn lead to an attempted rape, which needless to say ends badly for Toby, that we finally get the first pay off at almost 45 minutes into the film, which is certainly almost torturous when being forced to endure so many of the characters, who are either cookie cutter caricatures or just plain unlikable sleaze balls which seemed to be nearly every male character in the film, making me wonder if this film had been scripted by the writers of “The L Word” which also had the tendency of portraying nearly all their male characters in some form of negative light and usually as greasy and disgusting almost as if they were trying to put across the message that their predominantly lipstick lesbian cast, had become lesbian purely because the men around them were such scum and thier fairer sex was a much more attractive proposition, when faced with thier limited choices and it’s similar feelings I felt here, were it would seem that any guy she feels any form of attraction to is either a potential rapist or complete Douchbag. Still Hensley’s attempt at tough guy bravado playing the quick to violence step brother Brad is arguably one of the most laughable performances in the film, with Hensley coming off more moody than threatening and certainly not helped by his cheap fake looking tattoos, much like the fact he continues undeterred to have sex with his girlfriend while his step mother collapses outside his bedroom door, in one the least plausible moments in the film, which seems to serve only as a way to setup Dawn’s revenge against him later in the film, where her revenge is one certainly served ice cold.

The body count is surprisingly light here, thanks mainly to Lichtenstein refusing to turn Dawn into a woman on a mission of vengeance against these obnoxious men who she seems to frequently attract and only hints at Dawn taking on such a mission with the stumble of an ending, which rather than setting up a sequel pretty much marked were the concept finally runs out of steam, as honestly this film leaves nowhere essentially for her character to go. Still the attack scenes while being all centred predictably around the crotch region (but then what else is going to go there…..actually don’t answer that), we also get some chopped off digits formally belonging to Dawn’s Gynaecologist, all filmed in a very over-exaggerated style, which added a nice comical edge, much like the surviving victims refusal to say how they got their injuries, while having their assorted detached limbs reattached. Rather than trying to go for full on gore, though for those of you wandering wanting to see a chewed of penis, will be happy to know that Lichtenstein doesn’t disappoint or cheat the audience by keeping things off screen.

“Teeth” might be an intriguing premise, but essentially this ends up being a film which is certainly all bark and very little bite, thanks to it’s mish mash characterisation and horrible pacing, let alone the fact Lichtenstein seems to be trying cover far too many bases, rather than focusing on the main reason were watching the film to begin with, while leaving far to many of these avenues of exploration open, to the point that you wonder if there was any real point to the film. So like any potential date of Dawn’s I would recommend that you approach this one with caution.

The Stendhal Syndrome

2011-05-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

Title: The Stendhal Syndrome
Director: Dario Argento
Released: 1996
Staring: Asia Argento, Thomas Kretschmann, Marco Leonardi, Luigi Diberti, Paolo Bonacelli

Plot: Detective Anna Manni (Argento) is hunting for serial killer Alfredo Grossi (Kretschmann) with her assignment taking her to Florence as part of the investigation. While at a museum, Anna finds her drawn into a trance like state, while suddenly struck by the Stendhal Syndrome. Unknown to Anna this weakness has been discovered by Alfredo who soon plots to use it against her.

Review: Dario Argento is yet another director who for one reason or another I’ve only recently got around to watching, with this film being the first I’ve seen outside of his “Masters of horror” episode “Jenifer”, which suffered the wrath of the censors with Argento’s expressing a severe disgust that his episode ended up receiving several noticeable cuts, while narrowly avoiding being banned outright, a fate which was unsurprisingly suffered by Miike Takashi’s episode “Imprint”. Still Argento's work remains highly recommended by many Horror fans, though perhaps I could have chosen an easier title to start with, especially with this film being so heavy in graphic rape sequences, which make it anything but an easy film to watch.

Dario once again casts his daughter Asia who appears here in the second of her four collaborations to date with her father, despite his original intention of casting Bridget Fonda in the lead role, while also considering both Jennifer Jason Leigh and Daryl Hannah with the plan of making the film in America, which like his plans for his leading lady all fell through for various reasons, which ultimatly would lead Argento to relocate the film to Italy and cast his daughter in the lead role, a choice almost reminiscent of Francis Ford Coppola casting his own daughter Sofia when faced with similar issues on the production of “The Godfather Part 3” with her performance being largely panned by critics and Coppola being accused of Nepotism, all things which Argento managed to avoid here, even though casting his own daughter in a role which sees her character being graphically raped is certainly questionable and a credit to the professionalism of Argento that he would treat her the same as any other actress, when it came to filming such difficult sequences.

Surprisingly the revel of Kretschmann as the films psycho comes early in the film, yet removes none of his creepy and hypnotic presence when he is on the screen, with Kretschmann not only dying his hair blonde and learning word perfect Italian for the role, but also figuring out how to hide a razorblade behind his teeth aswell as how to manipulate it within his mouth, without slicing himself, a skill which is used to highly memorable effect, with such dedication to the role earning him much praise from Argento, who had first noticed Kretschmann when he had stared alongside Asia in her previous film “La Reine Margot” (1994) with this role also gaining him international recognition, though despite warm praise this it would take him until 2002 to break into Hollywood with his role Polanski’s “The Pianist”, continuing a running theme throughout his career of playing officers of the Third Riech.

The subject matter of the effects of rape, as I have mentioned already certainly make this not the easiest film to watch, but Argento has chosen to treat this almost as a study of how rape can effect it’s victims, even though he still finds time for some sadistic style blood letting, torture and torment with Asia in particular finding these scenes especially hard to shoot, more so with her father being so caught up in his work, that Asia called time on these scenes when she felt she had reached her limit, often leaving the set for the rest of the day to recover from the effects which these scenes had on her and even as a viewer they are not easy to watch and a testament to her ability to portray them with such a realistic edge, much like how Anna deals with her situation and her various stages of recovery, which see her taking up boxing and more dramatically cutting her long hair short, all while refusing to play the victim and more importantly all shown after she has had her revenge on her attacker and it was this part of the film, were I felt it lost a lot of it’s pace and generally didn’t seem to know were to go and while Asia might not be as convincing as the recovering victim, she certainly makes up for it in the scenes which matter.

This meandering use of running time same could also explain for Argento’s attempts to explore the idea of The Stendhal Syndrome, a condition named after a 19th century French writer, were sufferers of the condition have been known to suffer from dizziness, fainting and even hallucinations when exposed to work of art. It’s also a condition that Argento reportedly suffered from as a child while climbing the steps of the Parthenon, were he found himself in a trance like state which caused him to be lost from his parents for hours and here proves a handy excuse for Anna to suffer several hallucinations which see her walking into paintings and actually interacting with her surroundings, which provide several of the more surreal moments including her making out with a giant grouper fish.

The gore here is all pretty bloody with Argento taking a misstep with the ill advised use of CGI here, which honestly took more away from the film that it added, with the CGI essentially being used only for the more pointless of sequences like two pills travelling down Anna’s throat and a bullet through a victim’s cheek. Still seeing how the violence is all rape related it’s far from fun times here, especially with Argento frequently testing the limits of his audience with these scenes, which time reveled a little too much sadistic delight in what was being shown.

“The Stendhal Syndrome” is not an easy film to watch at any stretch and it’s subject matter would be covered a lot more effectively for myself atleast in “Irreversible” (2002). What also really did not help me get more into film, was definatly that version of the film I saw suffered from a really hideous dubbing, so I would strongly recommend hunting down the subtitled version if you’re an Argento completist or the kind of film goer who likes to challenge themselves, as this film is certainly one to endure rather than enjoy and that’s putting it mildly to say the least.

Bad Biology

2011-05-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

Title: Bad Biology
Director: Frank Henenlotter
Released: 2008
Staring: Charlee Danielson, Anthony Sneed, Mark Wilson, John A. Thorburn, Remedy

Plot: Jennifer (Danielson) suffers from the unusual condition of being born with seven Clitorises (and that doesn’t even include the unknown ones inside her). As a result of this condition she constantly finds herself on a quest for sexual fulfilment, a quest which leads her to meet Batz (Sneed) who himself has his own unique condition of being in possession of a monster sized penis which has developed a mind of it’s own as well as an ever increasing drug habit….did I mention this is also a love story?

Review: Frank Henenlotter is a director I’ve had little experience with, yet it’s safe to say that he has certainly gained a cult like following since his memorable debut “Basket Case” (1982), which is frequently mistaken for being part of the “Video Nasty” list despite it only appearing as a film for rental stores to avoid, than one of the 75 titles on the banned list. Still this debut would set a tone for his work to follow, all showcasing his continuing obsession of bringing back the sleaze of the grindhouse films he grew up obsessing over, long before the like of Quentin Tarantino and Rob Zombie attempted their own stabs at the Neo-Grindhouse genre and while many of the 80’s horror directors would move onto more mainstream projects, with names notorious with the era such as Sam Rami and Peter Jackson heading up big budget productions like the “Spiderman” and “Lord of the Rings” Trilogies, Henenlotter has preferred to stick to the same 42nd st sleaze which continues to service as his inspiration.
Still on the back of a review by one of those same rabid Henenlotter fans, aswell one of my blogging heroes Jenn over at “Calavade of Perversions” recently giving this film her praise, I thought it was time I finally gave him a look.

Incase you haven’t realised from the plot outline, this really is a sleazy and extremely random film, which pretty much wastes zero time in going from normality to badshit insane as we open with bookish photographer Jennifer, explains her predicament while prowling for casual sex, to help curb her continuous urges, even suffering countless orgasms just by sitting in a particular way, yet constantly being faced with never being able to find a man capable of satisfying her needs, which might have a lot to do with her black widow tendency of killing these casual partners in the throws of passion, while also photographing them for her subtly titled photography project “Fuckface”. Another side effect of Jennifer’s condition is that by having sex, her body causes her to give birth to mutated babies mere hours after having sex, which she even more casually disguards, with no kind of emotional attachment, either leaving them were they are born or even more shockingly throwing them into the trash. Still the minimal level of concern she has for these children is clearly highlighted, when Jennifer suddenly breaks the forth wall, to tell the audience exactly what she thinks about their concern, while advising them to just walk away, as the camera suddenly moving to a handheld stance all the more effective as it forfills the now overwhelming desire by audience to see exactly what one of these mutant offspring look like, with Henenlotter clearly knowing the power and effect of telling someone not to do something.

On the other side of things Batz is a emotionally complex and fragile character, having become a recluse thanks largely to his condition driving him to the brink of insanity, especially as his drug addicted penis grows all the more frenzied, with his only relief coming from his industrialised jerk off machine and a steady supply of pornography which constantly streams into his dilapidated and crumbling mansion, were he hides away while trying to fight the urges of his possessed member. Batz also breaks the forth wall to provide an insight into his condition, via a drug induced haze rather than another sudden outburst like Jennifer’s. Still Batz proves to be the interesting counterbalance to Jennifer, which means unfortunately that Jennifer comes across as a frenzied nymphomaniac while Batz seems more depressed and almost suicidal, but honestly neither of these leads are particularly likable, with Jennifer frequently coming off like one of those pretentious art school students, who ramble off bullshit to make their work seem more interesting than it is.

Henenlotter is clearly going for sheer shock factor here, but seeing how this has been the running theme throughout all his movies, it’s not surprising to see it back with a vengeance here. Throughout the realitivly short running time, he frequently seems to be playing a constant game of one-upmanship with himself from the laughably over enthusiastic sex scenes, to a bizarre photo shoot with the models all wearing vagina face masks. Still this all pales in comparison to when Henenlotter having run out places to go or perhaps seeing how far he can push things, has Batz see’s his penis detach itself and head off on a mass rape spree of nubile young ladies, who bizarrely don’t seem to mind to much, though Henenlotter sadly misses the opportunity to have the weirdest chase sequence ever, instead having Batz and Jennifer arguing while it eventually comes back on it’s own accord to then engage in a scene which I’m sure can be seen as more than a little blasphemous, but chances are that if you’ve made it this far, there won’t be little left to shock you when Henenlotter throws this scene in.

All the cast here are amateurs and unknowns, which makes it a real mixed bag of performances, though when questioned about this use of no name actors in his films, in an interview by “Film Threat” Henenlotter responded by saying

“I always [use amateurs]. They are easier to work with – they’re not SAG. When you say amateur, it’s not a denigration. It’s just their first time acting. Charlee [Danielson] and Anthony [Sneed] are great in ["Bad Biology"]. One of the reasons they are so great is that they never learned they are allowed to say no.”

It’s this belief which seems to explain why Henenlotter is so keen to push the boundaries of taste so much throughout, especially with such a willing cast to help him, bring these warped ideas to life. Still this use of questionable acting talent, when combined with cheap digital film stock, doesn’t help the film from looking like another direct to video cheapie. Still it does have some creative old school effects, including Batz’s stop motion penis which he constantly fights even at one point punching it in an attempt to bring it back under control aswell as taping it to his leg, which is all before it truly takes on a life of its own, detaching itself and punching itself through walls, as it slithers from victim to victim on its mini rampage.

"Bad Biology" is not the film to win me over to the cult of Henenlotter, though it has furthered my curiousity for the rest of his back catalogue, especially as this is usually the place to find most directors best and inspired work, I mean just look at John Carpenters career and the less said about the Japanese poster the better really.

Rubber

2011-05-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

Title: Rubber
Director: Quentin Dupieux
Released: 2010
Staring: Stephen Spinella, Roxanne Mesquida, Jack Plotnick, Haley Ramm, Wings Hauser, Ethan Cohn, Charley Koontz, Tara O’Brien

Plot: Robert is a tyre whom having gained life rolls through the local desert town, while also at the same time possessing the power to make things randomly explode using the power of mindbullets (“That’s telekenisis Kyle!”….sorry couldn’t resist it).

Review: Right from the start Director Dupieux wastes little time in letting the audience know what sort of film they are going to be in for, as Lieutenant Chad (Spinella) not so much breaks the fourth wall, but kicks it down and grabs hold of the audience directly, to delivers a monologue on how certain aspects of films are just accepted without question, using the colour of ET’s skin and more bizarrely the bathroom habits of the cast of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974) as examples of this theroy and this of course is after he has climbed out of a trunk of a police car, which inturn has just driven through a seemingly random maze of wooden chairs. This monologue it would seem is Dupieux’s way of asking the audience to not question everything they are going to see, over the films relatively brief run time and instead to just roll with it, which honestly might be the best way to watch this film, especially when you consider just how ludicrous the plot is, let alone everything else which happens in the film.

“Rubber” in many ways is part music video and part experimental film, all contained in the shell of a B-movie plot. Still this hasn’t stopped it from becoming a highly talked about movie, even if most of the discussion has been in regard to the fact it’s a movie about a killer tyre who can make things explode on will, rather than anything regarding the rest of the plot and for the majority of folks I think they will find the trailer to be more than enough, with any attempts to watch the film no doubt proving a frustrating experience at best. Still for fans of the work of more surreal directors such as Michel Gondry and Greg Araki they still might find much to enjoy here, with this film easily in the same category of their most surreal works like “Science of Sleep” (2006) and “Nowhere” (1997), while at the same time recalling memories of Daft Punk’s “Electroma” (2007). This film like that providing an almost glorified music video for Mr. Oizo and Gaspard Augé (one half of French electro duo Justice), who here supply the majority of the soundtrack. Soundtrack wise towards the end it does become kind of samey but at the same time perfectly frames certain sequences in the film, as does the seemingly random inclusion of Blue Magic’s “Just don’t want to be lonely” which comes completely out of nowhere, but helps to break up the overly similar electro, which at time descents a little too far into shoe gaze territory.

While the range of Dupieux’s creation might seem limited, he still has managed to bring a lot of character to a seemingly personality devoid object, in much the same way that John Carpenter did with his beach ball alien in “Dark Star” (1974). In Dupieux’s hands the humble tyre, is capable of not only stalking Sheila (Mesquida) but also processing a childlike curiosity to his surroundings, as he discovers his new found abilities and this is all without the aid of any additional emotions as Dupieux thankfully avoids slapping Robert with a misguided voiceover.

While the film largely focuses on Robert as he goes about terrorising the residents of the desert motel, he has for some unexplained reason chosen to hang around, his every move is eagerly watched by a group of binocular welding onlookers whose observations are frequently in tune with the thoughts of the audience, before randomly suffering a severe bout of food poisoning for no real reason, but no doubt by that point you will have stopped questioning things happening in this film. Still this group frequently refer to what they are watching as being “The film” with one member even scolding another for daring to film what they are watching on his camcorder. Meanwhile Lieutenant Chad keeps a surreal edge on things, by frequently proclaiming to everyone that they are all part of a movie, even inviting a fellow police officer to shoot him at one point, which even more bizarrely proves completely un-fatal, not that Dupieux answers any of these questions, instead leaving it up to the audience to make some kind of sense of what they are watching, though it would seem even Dupieux didn’t know what he had created, especially when the ending comes so suddenly and sloppily, despite Dupieux still setting up for a sequel which I think is an idea best left unexplored.

Essentially this film would have worked best as a short and stretched out to feature length, is no doubt going to seriously test the patience of the more casual or less open minded movie goer and while there are some great moments in the film, from the tyre in the shower sequence and the black humour of the boy using road kill as extra topping on his fathers pizza, there is a lot to like about this film, as truly random and beautifully bizarre as it is, while certainly marking Dupieux out as a film maker to watch and while it might be heavily flawed in places and suffer from some serious repetition it’s still strangely watchable like only the best surreal classics of which it will no doubt be ranked alongside.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

2011-05-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

Title: The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
Director: Tom Six
Released: 2009
Staring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura

Plot: Dr. Heiter (Laser) was once famous for his surgical skill in separating Siamese twins, though now he has much darker designs, as he kidnaps a trio of tourists, with the intention of binding them together to realise his ultimate obsession.

Review: Ever since the buzz started with this film, there were countless bloggers eager to donate thier space to air their excitement about the release of the film, while for myself it resembled nothing more than horror once more getting lazy and resorting to sheer shock tactics than real horror to convince the movie going public to hand over their money. So finally I bothered to sit down and watch it, after spending far too much time hearing people raving on about how shocking and disgusting it was, though having now witness it for myself, I can safely say it’s more the concept rather than anything shown on the screen which raises these comments, so gore hounds are bound to find much to gripe about here, especially seeing how the majority of the original buzz seem to hint at the film being more gory than it is. Here the power of suggestion is really being more prominent, than anything resembling the extreme gore and violence Director Six had hinted at, but then Six seems to care more about coming across as much as an oddball as he can, which is no doubt all part of his intent to generate further publicity for his films, when essentially he is the same as the child who deliberately chews with their mouth open, knowing that it will generate a negative reaction. Still this hasn’t stopped the hype machine from working overtime, to raise this film way above being another forgettable horror title, especially with the production notes stating that it has been proclaimed “The most horrific film ever made” while curiously emitting who had bestowed such high praise, something questioned upon the films release by the British newspaper “The Guardian” who also brought up the claim when they interviewed Six, who responded shiftly by proclaiming that it had been given by UK tabloid “The Sun”, a claim further questioned when they also proclaimed the closest “The Sun” had some in their review was “sickest film ever?” and even that claim was followed by a question mark.

So what about the film? Well Six wastes zero time in establishing Dr. Heiter for the oddball he is, rather than go for a slow reveal of his madness, as we are minutes into the film and we have him stalking a truck driver with a tranquiliser rifle, while said driver is filmed taking a dump in the woods. This of course after instigating that the Doctor is a fan of masturbating to pictures of his supposedly beloved dogs, the extent of this love certainly could be questioned when you find out, exactly what happened to them later in the film. Still the film continues to move at this brisk pace, while certainly not doing much favour for the local tourism, seeing how one local is portrayed as a filthy pervert and it’s not long before the fiesty Lindsey (Williams) and her shy and easily lead friend Jenny (Yennie) have stumbled across the home of Dr. Heiter. Once in the home it quickly descends into what is essentially just an extended chase sequence, as Six attempts to create some drama before the realisation of the twisted fantasy of Dr. Heiter. Sadly it’s once he has his Centipede that the film runs out of steam quickly, as having blown his load on this nightmarish creation, Six now finds he has nowhere to go and with the shock of seeing three people surgically graphed ass to mouth soon wearing thin, there is a stupidly large amount of the run time devoted to Dr. Heiter attempting to train the centipede, frequently attacking the conjoined trio with a riding crop, as they struggle to adapt with the only real shock during these scenes coming from the now well documented “Feed Her” scene, but again this is heavy on the power of suggestion than anything see.

The origin of “The Human Centipede” is supposedly drawn from similar experiments carried out by the Nazi’s who reportedly had tried the same thing with dogs, but not with humans, with the closest example of these experiements being attempted on humans, being “The angel of death” Josef Mengele’s experiments in creating artificial conjoined twins. Still the Nazi link is certainly present here with fellow Centipede member Katsuro frequently branding Dr. Heiter a Nazi and while Dr. Heiter’s connections to the Nazi’s are never revealed, it is strongly hinted at by Six, which if it wasn’t due to the strong performance by Laser who helps the character rise above such a clumsy label, so that his obsession is drawn more from his aclaimed work as a surgion seperating conjoined twins and with a lesser actor could easily be written off as poor characterisation and it’s only Laser’s performance that stops the character from becoming a sheer caricature. Still if Six really wanted us to believe that Dr. Heiter is such a crazed doctor, why do we have scenes of him in his garden wearing jeans and a t-shirt? It makes even less sense when every other scenes to be about gaining the maximum amount of creepiness from this character, from the long lab coat and mirrored glasses to his obsession with keeping his home as surgically clean as possible and these random scenes take the audience out of the moment, by having them question the sudden change in style for the doctor.

With Laser busily chewing the scenery, it’s certainly a tough act for the other actors to follow, but then their performances end up being fairly limited with Katsuro’s spending the whole film cursing the doctor (quite understandably) while the girls act continually scared. I did question though why Katsuro was included in the film as if it was purely a question of having a lead character who didn’t speak English, why didn’t Six just use a German speaking character? My only conclusion I could draw, was that it was for similar reasons that Raymond Burr showed up as an American reporter in “Godzilla” (1956), which had essentially been so that it would be an easier sell to American audiences, with Katsuro’s inclusion being an attempt to do the same except for the Asian market, whom in recent years has been battling with the new wave of French shockers for who can produce the freshest shocks and certainly a key market for any new horror release.

I have no doubt that this film has it’s fans, but when you look past it’s surface shocks and the gloss of the occasionally pretty cinematography, it’s becomes a flimsy film at best and once you trim down the centipede training sequences, from their almost voyeuristic length, it also becomes a film which would struggle to make feature length. Still the shocks have bought in the bucks and with “Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence” already in production, with Six promising an even larger centipede of 12 people, it really does make me wonder were he expects to take the film, outside of just going over the same ground he covered in the first film. Still if Six can manage to put as much effort into his film making as he does trying to convince us all of his oddball behaviour he might still surprise us as a film maker, once he moves onto less grotesque projects whose only aim is to clearly offend, disgust and shock, rather than create anything resembling true horror.

The Tripper

2011-04-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Title: The Tripper
Director: David Arquette
Released: 2006
Staring: Jaime King, Thomas Jane, Lukas Haas, Jason Mewes, Balthazar Getty, Marsha Thomason, Paul Reubens, Richmond Arquette, David Arquette, Courtney Cox Arquette, Christopher Allen Nelson

Plot: Samantha (King) is on the run from her abusive ex boyfriend Jimmy (Getty), heading off with her pothead friends and hoping to enjoy a carefree weekend at the Woodstock esq “American Free Love Festival” deep in the woods, unaware that these woods are home to deranged and Ronald Regan obsessed psychopath (Nelson).

Review: I do wonder what it is that makes the most awful horror film successful, as can be seen with the fact that we are now up to the sixth instalment of the “Saw” franchise, long after the limited plot potential was highlighted with first sequel, meanwhile true homage’s to the gory classics of the 70’s & 80’s like this one, which bother to try and bring some fun and excitment back into the horror genre, for some reason or another seem to fall by the wayside. Still if anyone was going to give it to us, I’m glad that it was the Actor & One Time WCW Champion turned Director David Arquette, for he has for myself atleast always had a sense of fun to his work and I knew from the interviews he gave during the promotional tour for this film, that he had made something special, for here wasn’t just some director reeling of a list of popular and establish classics for his influences, but a true horror fan clear setting out, with the clear intention of having a blast with the genre and perhaps attempting make the genere as awhole feel alittle less safe, than it had become back then with the popularity certainly at the time leaning towards more subtle horror than graphic violence, despite the occastional rogue film such as “Cabin Fever” attempting to buck the trend, with this intention pretty much being screamed from the majority of promotional shots in particular the real selling point of this movie, which is the chainsaw to the throat which appears within the first ten minutes, with Arquette only building on things from that moment onwards.

The two clear influences for the film seem to have been “The Burning” and more obviously the “Friday The 13th” series, with both getting subtle homage’s throughout, without Arquette feeling the need to billboard these references, by going “Hey look I’ve got the killer silloutted in direct sunlight, same as in “The Burning”!!!” while at the same time attempting to create something the audience hasn’t seen before, with the gore for the most part getting creative, as he chooses to hide nothing and also use old school effects over CGI making the end result only the more affective, especially when watching things like the aforementioned chainsaw to the throat. The majority of the kills are pretty straightforward, with this Regan alike proving himself more than alittle handy with an axe as heads start to roll with Arquette working towards his chop happy finale which helps push the film easily into the double figures.

The other main trademark of old school horror on show here is the gratuitous nudity, which covers both sexes (so something for everyone to enjoy), both shown in unflinching full frontal which probably wasn’t the best choice for the naked guy hippy, who clearly enjoyed working with the naked hippy chick alittle too much, which for some reason slipped past the censors, who tend to frown pretty heavily on anything resembling male arousal usually, with the general rule being that you can show a penis but god help you if your planning on showing an aroused one!

The cast are pretty much underground with the only a couple notable stars with the most noticeable for most folks being Jason Mews, who would also be another unknown on the cast list, had it not been for Kevin Smith, making him so memorable as Jay in his Askew View saga and here he’s not really exactly branching out as the Hippy stoner Joey, which essentially is just Jay in another guise. The same can also be said for Director Arquette, who once again puts in another oddball performance as one of a group of tormenting rednecks, while fulfilling the need for rednecks in any horror which has a woodland setting, a trend which he chooses not to buck here. Still Thomas Jane spends a lot of time chewing the scenery as Buzz, the local cop determined to get to the bottom of things, while holding a certain distain for the city folks flooding in for the festival and is certainly one of the main highlights here.

The main problem I had with “The Tripper” is with the pacing as after strong opening which features one of the best kills of the film, it takes quite awhile till we get the next one. Meanwhile the psycho ex-boyfriend plotline feels too much like filler and serves no purpose beside providing a questionable at best red herring. I know already that there will be the more jaded viewer who will question the lack of real scares on offer here, but essentially this is slasher and scares have never truly been a top priority for this sub genre of Horror, with the priority usually with finding new and ever more graphic ways of killing off members of the cast and it’s clear throughout that Arquette knows the horror genre well and I would love to see him try and make somthing alittle more scarier for his next effort, especially as Arquette's plan for a sequel set at "The Burning Man Festival", were scrapped after this film under performed, leaving Arquette's plan's for "The Tripper 2: Burning Bush" as nothing but a fun prospect of what could have been. Still his knowlege and clear love for the Horror genre does help make it all the more of treat when viewed as the popcorn horror flick that it is and as such best enjoyed with a group of liked minded friends and a bucket of ice cold corona!

BloodSport

2011-04-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

Title: Bloodsport
Director: Newt Arnold
Released: 1988
Staring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Donald Glibb, Bolo Yeung, Norman Burton, Forest Whitaker, Leah Ayres

Plot: Frank Dux (Van Damme) has spent his life being training by his adopted father figure Tanaka, to compete in the Kumite, the ultimate and highly illegal underground martial arts competition were serious and injury are common place, while the current champion Chong Li (Yeung) is equally keen to retain his title at any cost.

Review: “Bloodsport” is a true nostalgic relic from the golden age of action movies which was the 80’s, with the film also providing the much needed showcase for the Kickboxing talents of Van Damme, which in turn launched him to superstar status and while his more recent efforts might be more forgettable like so many of the era’s action stars, it still remains one of his most talked about movies. So after being frequently reminded of it, while checking out “The Jaded Viewer” who has replaced the more traditional stars / thumbs up rating for one of the more iconic screenshots from this film, which honestly is a lot cooler, I thought I'd finally sit down and watch it.

Opening with the various fighters going through their assorted training regimes, Director Arnold wastes little time in setting the mood for what sort of movie your gonna be watching, with the true highlight of this sequence including the weird Zulu warrior punching coconuts while generally leaping around like a frenzied chimp, which does have me questioning how some of these fighters like this joker in particular even know about the tournament. Still the most badass fighter of all of them Chong Li, gets the best of these first introductions, as we are treated to the sight of him breaking blocks of ice with only the utmost ease. Essentially this is what the film is about. Fighters showing off their skills and beating the hell out of each other, with the plot only being something to string these assorted showcase pieces together.

Supposedly based on the real life of Martial Artist Frank Dux, who also wrote the original story which the film is based on, but seeing how the validity of many of his personal claims have frequently been disputed by both “Soldier of Fortune” and the “Los Angeles Times” feel free to believe what you want when it comes to credibility, as personally I seriously doubted the "based on real events" tagline and just thought it was just fun, rather than any kind of biopic. Still What struck me first about this film was just how young Van Damme looks here, as the fresh faced Frank, which was also his first leading role and despite not being the most convincing actor (well I guess something just never change) he allow his skills instead to do most of the talking, finding time to include his now trademark moves while relying on raw charisma for the rest to help carry him through. This film also established the trend with his early films for the training montages to usually involve torturing him as part of the part to being the ultimate fighter with the rack making the first of its memorable appearances, during a stupidly long flashback sequence, which frequently cuts to a close up of Franks eyes whenever the scene changes.

The fight scenes are all pretty fantastic even when none of the named fighters are competing, with the tournament attracting a wide range of fighting styles which only helps keep things interesting, from the kickboxing style of Frank to the more powerhouse style of Chong Li, who is perfectly written for Yeung who here, despite being 50 at the time of filming, looks absolutely monstrous and more bulked up then usual, though the script writers clearly doubted him being able to pull of the English dialogue, which might go a way to explaining why Chong Li only rarely speaks and when he does it’s usually to say something badass like

“You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend”

Still like Van Damme, Yeung also lets his actions do a lot of the talking, as he demolishes all those who challenge him, frequently (and graphically) breaking bones and generally providing the deaths which the tournaments’ reputation promises, which judging by the unfazed reaction of the crowd, would seem usually happens a lot more frequently than it does with this tournament, with most of the fighters preferring bizarrely enough an honourable defeat over a more permanent one.

Outside of the fighting which honestly is most of the movie, we get the aforementioned attempts at plotting which pretty much boil down to the half assed attempts of the Military Police Officers Helmer (Burton) and Rawlins (Whitaker), who basically spend a lot of time running around and failing Frank to turn himself in having gone AWOL to compete in the tournament. The other unnecessary plot thread involves undercover journalist Janice (Ayres), who despite wanting to expose the Kumite, seems to forget about this as soon as she gets involved with Frank, with her sole obsession from that point being constantly telling Frank that he’s crazy for competiting, when perhaps she should be more worried about the Hole in the Ozone she’s creating with the sheer amount of hairspray she must be using to keep her huge hair in place, with her role as a romantic interest unneeded here, as it’s basically another excuse for Van Damme not to put on his shirt. Finally we have Ray (Gibb) the loud mouthed and brash American fighter, who is also competing in the Kumite and becomes a kind of Big Brother to Frank and is one of the few supporting characters who doesn’t feel like they are being included to fill screen time, even though Frank earns his respect by beating him on an arcade game rather than anything resembling fighting ability, which makes him a pretty easy person to impress it would seem.

“Bloodsport” is a fun piece of nostalgia of a more exciting time for action cinema and despite being a film which relies solely on it’s action sequences, it works surprisingly well, if meaning as a result that it is anything but high art, but then weren’t the best of Bruce Lee’s movies like this? Still it’s a fun movie and worth watching to see an action hero in his prime, especially as it was pretty much a downward spiral from this point onwards and the less said about “Street Fighter” the better really.

Mortal Kombat: Legacy

2011-04-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I stumbled across the promo trailer for “Mortal Kombat: Legacy” or “Mortal Komabt: Rebirth” as it was known then, which took the Mortal Kombat series and gave it a “Dark Knight” shot of realism, which created a result which honestly broke my jaw the first time I saw it, quickly leading me to spam the hell out of my like minded friends insisting that they watch it, despite the fact that no one seemed to know what exactly it was a promo for.

So time passed on and though it frequently came up in conversations with my friends who I’d shown it to, it had generally fallen off the radar. That was until last night when “Geeks Are Sexy” posted the first episode of the new web series which that promo has since evolved into and suddenly everything was put to one side as I sat down to watch the first episode of this latest attempt at adapting the popular games, which so far has spawned two films, an animated series and the guilty pleasure which is “Mortal Kombat: Conquest” which remains one of the best spin off’s which the games have inspired to date.
So here is the first episode of this latest incarnation which is to be released as a weekly web series by Machinima.com via youtube.

Spearheading the series is director Kevin Tancharoen who is probably best known for directing the “Fame” Remake and is certainly a surprising choice for rebooting / reimaging the franchise, but so far he has proven to be exactly what the series has needed as this latest addition to the franchise has proven with it’s first episode to be more than a glossy promo, for although this pilot episode only shows Sonya Blade, Jax and Kano rather than any of the more fantastical characters, it still moves at a breakneck pace and devotes a good chunk of the episode run time to some great action sequences including a great showdown between Jax and Kano.

The series has some great writing talent behind it, with Tancharoen being joined on writing duties by Ed Boon the creator of the Mortal Kombat series aswell as the memorable voice of Scorpion. Also on writing for the show are Todd and Aaron Helbing who more recently could be found writing for another great adaptation of an established classic with “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”. Although it is early days for the series the writing is still fresh and with a strong focus on action, rather than allowing the action to get too bogged down, with all the characters so far still proving as memorable as their video game versions.

The cast are largely unknowns with a couple of cult actors such as Michael Jai White finally giving us a decent version of Jax, while his martial arts skills are put to great effect here. The only other recognisable face here is Jeri Ryan who made a whole lot more people tune in for Star Trek Voyager and no doubt will have the same effect here as she takes on the role of the feisty Sonya Blade. However when it comes to their casting of Kano, whom for myself was truly nailed by Trevor Goddard who brought a cocky thug like quality to the character, rather than the more Triad esq gangster that Darren Shahlavi has chosen to play him like, but I’m interested to still to see how Kano is used in the latest adaptation, especially with another nine episodes to go in this brief initial run, though a strong foundation has been laid with the first episode especially when combined with the teaser, so hopefully Tancharoen has enough ideas to keep our interest, which if the cast list on IMDB is anything to go off it’s safe to say he has me curious as to how other characters will be introduced and how they will come across in his vision, but will he get close to the gory highlights of the source material? For the moment it is hard to say and while the other adaptations have generally skipped around it, so already I’m keen to see if Tancharoen will choose this safer path aswell or instead surprise us all further by reminding us all what exactly what the selling point of Mortal Kombat was in the first place.

Catfish

2011-04-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

Title: Catfish
Director: Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman Released: 2010
Staring: Nev Schulman, Ariel Schulman, Henry Joost, Abby Pierce, Angela Pierce

Plot: A documentary charting the quickly developing friendship through “Facebook” and continuous e-mails between photographer Nev Schulman and the child painting prodigy Abby. Soon this friendship expands to include her mother Angela and her older half sister Megan, who Nev soon begins building a romantic relationship with. However it’s not long before Nev begins to suspect that everything is not what it seems and sets out to find the truth.

Review: “Catfish” should really come with a “Google Earth and Facebook proudly sponsor” tagline on it’s poster as essentially as this feels almost like a glossy advert for both, especially seeing how extensively they are both used throughout, which is pretty much right from the start. Still “Catfish” or the other “Facebook” movie as I like to call it, is kind of a curiosity seeing how it’s limited cinema release saw it in the cinema and pretty much straight to DVD within a couple of months, were it now joins a pretty exclusive list of films, which have never been made available to rent through Blockbuster, which when you consider that they stock nearly pretty much every new release made it only all the more surprising that this one was never picked up. It’s safe to say that this lack of distribution, has only really proved detrimental to the film and meant that it’s been left for the audiences to hunt it out themselves, leaving the film relying heavily on word of mouth promotion, especially when it comes to the authenticity of the footage, which most notably had “Super Size Me” (2004) director Morgan Spurlock branding the film “The best fake documentary he had ever seen”, despite the constant protest from Directors Joost & Schulman who still maintain that everything shown in the film is real.

This documentary really comes with great timing, especially with so many people now using social networking sites like “Facebook” and generally using the internet as their connection to the rest of the world, as the film explores the frequently asked question, since the internet became such more than a nerdy obsession, of how you can really be sure that people who they say they are, after all the Internet is essentially a platform for you to become anyone you wish to be, with the minimum amount of hassle and this is at the core of what the film is about and I will attempt to keep any spoilers until the end of this review, as this is another film which works best when entered blind of with the minimum amount of information, so my advice would be to stop reading now and go see this film, unless you’d rather risk spoiling any potential surprises.

Nev’s photography mainly revolves around dance and theatre and it’s when one of his recently published photographs gets sent to him as a painting that the story begins, as he begins first of all communicating through e-mail and later “Facebook” with the child painting prodigy Abby, as they slowly build a friendship as she sends him more and more of her paintings. Soon it’s not long before he has also started speaking with her mother Angela on the phone, who soon becomes the spokeswoman for her daughter, frequently making excuses for Abby whenever Nev asks to speak to her, which for some reason he never seems to question, until later in the film when cracks start to appear in the story. In the meantime Nev also begins talking with the equally talented half sister Megan, with their friendship soon turning to romance which again Nev seems to never question until later in the film, happily reading off dirty texts sent back and forth between himself and Megan, while also making up photo-shopped pictures of them together, which did have me asking myself who essentially is the more creepy here. Still It’s only after Nev receives a song supposedly being sung by Megan that he starts questioning the whole situation further and sets out to find out the real truth behind the family and this is were the real meat of the film comes into play.

Part social commentary and part thriller the film rolls along at a steady pace, making the viewer feel that they are part of the group as each piece of the mystery is slowly revealed, the further the film pulls you into the mystery behind this supposedly talented family. However the further the film goes the easier it becomes to understand why accusations have been made to the authenticity of the footage, especially when the film crew descend on a horse farm supposedly owned by Megan only to find it eerily empty, with the choice to shoot it in a Blair Witch style certainly being questionable, meanwhile at the opposite end of things we have shots like Nev scratching his crotch in full view of the camera, while on the phone and more worryingly a prolonged open legged shot of one of one of Abby’s friends also go a way toward justifying authenticity, after all why would you choose to include scenes like that otherwise? What is clear though is that having stumbled across a more interesting story, almost by accident Directors Joost and Schulman are keen to film it through to it’s conclusion while trying to clearly playing dumb to prolong the mystery which the viewer has no doubt figured out before they choose to play thier big reveal, with this choice questionably make the film all the better as a result, especially as we discover the reasons behind this ruse are more to do with escaping a difficult and emotionally draining existence, with the true depth and plotting behind these created character proving only the more astounding especially when you consider how it was pulled off, by one person as revealed in a fantastic scene in which the real artist behind the paintings and also creator of this ruse explains it all as they sketch Nev’s portrait, an moment which almost feels like a final wish being granted aswell as a way of bringing a satisfying closure to the whole strange journey.

In all it is a strange movie to describe as what starts off as a strightforward documentary and what could have made an intresting short film, soon changes it’s focus towards internet fakery and how we choose to represent ourselves, before finally making us question if it is a good thing that we have people like this in the world, as the true meaning behind the title is finally revealed and that it’s a question which like the film I will end this with, while urging you all to hunt down this film, for what will no doubt be one of those films which sadly slips from the general conscious of the public only to be passed around the film junkie ranks were no doubt it will truly be appreciated for the intriguing documentary it is.

RaimiFest: The Evil Dead

2011-04-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Continuing the fun of “Raimifest” currently being held over at “Things That Don’t Suck”, the fantastic blog run by my critiquing hombre Bryce, so why not check out it out the fun currently happening over there and soak up some of the Raimi goodness!

Title: The Evil Dead
Director: Sam Raimi
Released: 1981
Staring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Richard DeManincor, Betsy Baker, Theresa Tilly

Plot: Five friends head to a cabin in the woods, were they find a copy of an ancient book detailing demonic possession and ceremonies. As well as the book they also find a tape recording translation of the book, which unknown to them releases a dark evil in the woods.

Review: Okay let me start by saying that I was never a fan of this film, having only really watched it once before and since then hadn’t really felt any kind of urge to revisit it since that original viewing, but seeing how we are in the midst of “Raimifest” I could think of no better excuse to revisit this film, after all my childhood memory is still imprinted with the original VHS artwork, which taunted me from the shelves of the local video rental and even though I never felt any urge to watch it, it still held a strange power over me, which could have been down to the lack of any kind of screenshot on the back or just the eerie green colouring of the zombie like creature on the front cover, whatever it was there was something about it which stuck with me.

Originally titled “The Book of the Dead” only for producer Irvan Shapiro to oppose the title, believing that audiences would expect to have to read, Raimi instead changed the name to “The Evil Dead” or “The Evil Dead, The Ultimate Experience In Gruelling Horror” to give the film it’s full title and it is certainly a film with a chequered past being one of the first films to make the notorious “Video Nasties” list and being frequently used by media moralist Mary Whitehouse, as an example of a video nasty in court, though ironically the version she used was not the uncut version but instead the cut version of the film, which had been passed for certification by the BBFC, were it had recived an X rating. The film would be frequently added and removed from the list before finally receiving its full uncut release in 2001 ironically on the same year that Whitehouse passed away.

Biding it’s time the film starts off quite typically with our fresh faced teens heading to their rented cabin in the woods and despite a few warning signs that something is nice quite right, be it the strange unseen presence moving quickly though the woods or the porch bench banging against the side of the cabin suddenly stopping, the group certainly have no idea of the night they have ahead of them, much like the viewer, for so far this is all a pretty traditional horror setup. Still Raimi clearly knows this seeing how he goes from this handful of setup moments, to his first big scare of the film aswell as the most controversial as Ash’s sister Cheryl is raped by the surrounding trees, which would also be the one scene which Raimi would later admit to regretting it’s inclusion in the final cut of the film and while it provides a shocking wake up call for the audience, it still is one of the few moments were the film perhaps takes things a little too far. Still from this moment onwards the film becomes a non stop ride into madness and sheer terror, which never lets up until the closing credits, which are equally haunting as the jolly and slightly out of place jazz music slowly grinds to a crawl before fading out completly, providing the viewer with no reprive while it still has command of the screen.

When it comes to the gore Raimi makes good on the advice he received from his friend Andy Grainger who had told him…

“Fellas, no matter what you do, keep the blood running down the screen”

Well it’s safe to say that Raimi manages to follow this advice almost religiously as not only is this possibly the most bloody film ever made, with possibly only Peter Jackson’s “Brain Dead” (1992) coming close to beating it, but nearly any possible bodily fluid is thrown at the screen, along with the various amputations, stabbings and beatings which happen throughout, as he builds to his epic finale in which bodies explode in epic meltdowns of stop motion animation, old school effects and something which strangely resembles pie filler, with Campbell being on the receiving end of the majority of the punishment being handed out, which could be down largely to the fact that Campbell was the only actor to stay with the production throughout, with the rest of the cast having scenes completed using stand in’s or “Fake Shemps” as they were branded, though Raimi seems to be personally setting out to torture him throughout the film, something which he would continue through to the sequels in which he seemed to constantly be finding new tortures for his long term friend and actor of choice. The use of “Fake Shemps” could also be seen as Raimi’s ongoing obsession with “The Three Stooges”, one of several reoccurring themes and icons which have appeared in nearly all his films, with these icons including Chainsaws and the now famous Oldsmobile, all of which made their debut here. With this feature length debut Raimi clearly is building on the foundations he lay with “Within The Woods” (1978), which he also used to raise the funds for this film, which in turn could now be seen as the testing ground for “Evil Dead 2” (1987) which is essentially a big budget remake, taking what worked here and fine tuning it for a bigger kick, which would explain the evolution of Ash to his more recognisable Wise cracking deadite slaying persona, aswell as the Chainsaw actually being used, rather than just playing the tease as he does here. Still there would still remain one aspect of this film, which Raimi would never be able replicate in the sequels and this is the sheer creepiness of Betsy Baker, thanks to a combination of milky white contacts and a Cheshire cat grin, which still haunts me like the turtle scene in “Cannibal Holocaust” (1980). Baker apparently still likes to dig out the contacts on Halloween and scare the hell out of the local kids, which I have to admit is pretty cool, though here when that smile and those wide eyes are combined with her insane ramblings it’s chilling.

While “The Evil Dead” might not be my favourite film in Raimi’s back catalogue, there is no denying it’s influence, especially seeing how it would go on to spawn not only it’s two sequels, but computer games, a musical as well as a popular comic spin off, while finding a whole new host of rabid fans, with every new generation of horror fans who discover it for the first time and while I would have preferred to have just ended the film with Ash walking away, rather than going for the final scare, but despite my qualms with the film it still remains almost a textbook example of how effective DIY horror can be when done well. Now if I could only just figure out why Raimi choose to have them drinking Moonshine of all things.

RaimiFest: The Quick And The Dead

2011-03-30T02:04:00.000-07:00

Currently my blogging rival (and I say that only in the most affectionate of terms, especially seeing how he just writes so much prettier than me) Bryce over at “Things That Don’t Suck” is currently holding “Raimifest”, a celebration of all things Sam Raimi and encouraging the blogging community to submit their opinions on the life and work of the man in question, so make sure you go check it out for some varied and great musings on all things Raimi! Title: The Quick and The Dead Director: Sam Raimi Released: 1995 Staring: Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobin Bell, Keith David, Lance Henrickson, Gary Sinise, Jonothon Gill Plot: Ellen (Stone) a mysterious female gunslinger rides into the small prairie town of Redemption, which ruled by the ruthless John Herod (Hackman), who has arranged a quick draw competition as part of his ongoing campaign to eliminate any potential threats to his rule, while at the same time forcing his former Henchman turned preacher Cort (Crowe) to enter.

Review: Today is actually a pretty special day, seeing how it’s my son Williams first birthday, which brought up a lot of memories of my own childhood, including that stereotypical view that all boys will be fans of Westerns and Football, the later of which will for myself never happen, while as for Westerns these have always been a largely ignored genre for myself, with it taking something real special or unique for me to watch most westerns, which I guess is the reason I like this one so much, for not only is it a western I totally dig, but also an oddity on Sam Raimi’s Directorial C.V, who had shown no real interest in the genre, even more so when he was at this point in his career associated more with the Horror Genre especially after the success of “The Evil Dead Trilogy”. Coming across like a homage to the films of Sergio Leone, the film pretty much hits the ground running and never lets up the pace, especially when we are mere minutes into the film, before Ellen or “The Lady” as she’s frequently referred to has beaten up Tobin Bell’s greasy prospector Dog Kelly and left him chained to the wheel of his wagon, with little provoking needed for this “Mad Max” style of revenge, other than the fact he’d attempted to shoot her, which on second thoughts actually seems pretty reasonable when you think about it. Still this seemingly random act of violence is the perfect introduction to Ellen, who speaks softly while letting her actions do all the talking, in particular with her quick draw skills. Still she is a woman whose past and reasons for riding into town are murky at best, much like all of the best of Leone’s antihero’s. Plotwise it is essentially a two thread story switching between Ellen’s reasons for coming to Redemption and entering the competition, aswell as her murky past seen here largely in flashbacks, with Raimi having enough faith in his audience to resist not just hamering home the big revel and instead allow the audience to piece it all together, especially when Ellen only mutters a handful of words at best, though it does bare a worrying similarity to the ending of “Once Upon A Time In The West”. The other main plot thread concerning Herod and his attempts to goad Cort back into his former violent ways by not only burning down his orphanage, but also dragging him into town in chains. Still it’s not quite clear what Herod’s true intentions really are, especially when he leaves Cort chained to a rock, while also forcing him to shoot with the cheapest junk pistol he can find aswell as giving him only a single bullet, but then Herod is hardly about fair play, especially when he frequently changes the rules to suit his own personal means. The town of Redemption is a dusty and tumbleweed strewn town, were it’s townsfolk will happily steal anything that’s not nailed down, as frequently proven by the hordes which decent on the dead, frequently while their bodies are still warm stripping them of anything of value in second and in one case even taking their Gold Teeth, with the crippling taxes imposed by Herod reducing many of the townsfolk to vicious savages. Still thanks to the contest it’s also one, which Raimi has been able to also fill with a variety of colourful gunslingers and bandits all willing to take their chances to collect the prize money. This mix of characters is certainly one of the high point of the film, especially as they are so varied from the flamboyant trickshot and Teller of tall tales Ace Hanlon (Henrikson) to the fast talking gunslinger known as “The Kid” (DiCaprio), though for all the colourful characters who Raimi brings to life with his usual flair and style, there are a couple of duff characters such as “Spotted Horse” (Gill) whose sole contribution to proceedings seems to not stretch past constantly shouting “Spotted Horse cannot be killed by a bullet”, whenever he appears on screen and really only adds another body to add to the pile once they start mounting up, rather than anything particularly important plot wise. This is much the same for the townsfolk who are pretty much the usual group of stereotypical characters, with only a handful fleshed out to be more than background characters. Still even the most colourful characters in the cast are quickly pushed to the side when Herod is on the screen, as Hackman once again seems to be having a blast not only chewing up the scenery, but also playing a decent and truly ruthless villain, as he portraying Herod much like his namesake, surveying the competition from a throne and often while drinking fine wine from a goblet, let alone his habit of constantly changing the rules to serve his own means and it’s of little surprise that Hackman once again provides the majority of memorable moments here. The action sequences are all pretty thrilling, with Raimi pretty much levelling the town in a hail of gunfire and exploding building for his finale, which did have me questioning how Ellen even manages to setup such a spectacular finale showdown, I mean did none of Herod’s lackeys happen to notice all these barrels of gunpowder being placed in key locations around the city? Meanwhile the violence is pretty restrained for Raimi, especially after the memorable gooey fun of “The Evil Dead”, with the majority of the violence here being limited to bloody gunshot wounds which only makes the money shots like the hole in the head all the more satisfying when they happen. Sharon Stone seriously makes the most of her Producer credit here, not only personally choosing Raimi to direct, but also bringing on board both DiCaprio and Crowe, who at the time were still essentially unknown talent and while DiCaprio is still a peach fuzzed youth, he is cocky but not to the point of irritating, while watching this film now, it only makes me wonder why it took Crowe so long to be recognised as a mainstream actor, as he’s in great form as the former bandit who has long since turned his back on his violent past. Raimi has not only created a great western here, but one which although lacking in subtly and high on gloss is still a fun and exciting ride and how really cares about historical accuracy and plausibility, especially it’s this much fun!

Dreadfully Ever After

2011-03-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

Since the release of the original Quirk Classic mash up “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, there have been a slew of imitators in its wake while Quirk have continued since then to lead the charge, having perfected their mash up technique of combining classic literature and new material, be it steam punk with “Android Karenina” or Sea Monsters with “Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters”. Still the original “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” alone has already spawned a much needed prequel, which helped clear up a lot of the plot holes found in the in original novel, especially with it’s uneasy 50 / 50 mixture of new and original material and with original author Seth Grahame – Smith choosing not to return, it was left to Steve Hockensmith to pick up the reigns and pen the prequel, which proved to be a worthy companion to the original novel and again he makes a welcome return here to complete the trilogy.

Once again here we are thrown into this alternate version of Austin universe and a lot certainly seems to have happened in the four years which have passed since Elizabeth married the dashing Dreadful slayer Mr. Darcy and it’s this Elizabeth that we first meet here, who proves to have changed the most in the meantime, having been forced into a more restrained lifestyle than she is used to, thanks to her newly married status, yet even this hasn’t harmed her slaying skills as soon proven by an early skirmish against a group of dreadful’s proves, yet it is clear that she sorely misses the days when she could freely slay dreadful’s without her status getting in the way, after all it is hardly ladylike for a married woman to be seen carrying a Katana! Still her happiness is cut short when Mr. Darcy is attacked by a rampaging Dreadful. Now faced with the rapid zombification of her husband, Elizabeth only hope comes when she told off of a cure by Darcy’s aunt and her long term rival Lady Catherine, which soon see’s Elizabeth on an undercover mission to London to obtain the cure, along with her father and youngest sister Kitty, as she battles to save her one true love, from joining the ranks of the undead.

Hockensmith has once again got a firm handle on the inner workings of this alternate universe, as he now finally gets to show how London has adapted itself to the constant threat of the dreadfuls, with heavy fortification around the city and patrols checking for early signs of the infection, while its residents have even taken to using dreadfuls for entertainment, by having dreadfuls chase an Irishman down a track, a scene which was reminiscent of the Zombie amusements seen in Romero’s “Land of the Dead”. Meanwhile he finally gives Kitty a chance to break out of the shadow of Lydia, who for too long I found her to be pretty much interchangeable with and it was nice to see her character being developed, while Lady Catherine and her Ninja henchmen also make a welcome return, as she manages to become even more devious than before, if that’s even possible.

Written in alternative chapters between Elizabeth’s mission to obtain the elusive cure and Darcy’s ever growing list of zombie symptoms, which also see him suffering several graphic and feverish dream sequences which frequently see him feasting on his wife’s organs or anyone else’s. Still this dual storyline style helps to keep the story flowing, especially when it feels to going over familiar ground and Darcy’s gradual change into one of the Dreadful’s helped it from being just more of the same. Still the dreadful slaying sequences are just as brutal and frequently creative as ever and while Elizabeth might have spent the last four years living a more restrained lifestyle, she certainly wastes little time getting back to her old ways when given the chance, while equally at home putting her “Deadly Arts” to work on the Ninja henchmen of Lady Catherine. These scenes are all splattered with gruesome details as limbs are swiftly amputated and skulls cracked all written with the same playful glee, which we have come to expect with the series.

“Dreadfully Ever After” is a suitable close to the trilogy, though it feels far too overly familiar, to the point were I found it hard to get into this latest edition to the Quirk Classic library, though whether this is down to the setting or the fact that it’s yet another Zombie story, in an already bloated horror genre, which like the “Paranormal Romance” genre, currently feels far too over saturated at the moment and seeing how they are kind of limited with how zombies can be used, it makes it all the harder to give the reader something they havn’t seen before, despite Hockensmith making a valiant effort here and I feel that Mr Bennet sums up the situation when he states “Somehow I find all this less entertaining than I once did”, which is pretty much what I was left feeling here.

Sowhat does the future hold for “Quirk Classics”?? Well thankfully for the moment atleast it doesn’t seem to involve Zombies as they once again move away from the world of Austin and instead focus on the Frank Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis” which saw a salesman waking up to find that he had turned into a cockroach. This story which is set to be the next title to receive the “Quirk Classic” treatment as “The Meowmorphosis” which will see Fabric salesman Gregor Samsa waking up to find himself turned into a man sized Kitten. It’s a change of direction which certainly has me curious enough to give it alook and certainly what will help keep Quirk ahead for the moment of it’s rivals such as A E Moorat’s alternative history series which so far has included “Henry VIII: Wolfman” and “Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter” and not to mention the numerous one shots like “I Am Scrooge: A Zombie Story For Christmas” which have flooded the market since the release of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” so I guess for the moment, only time will tell if Quirk have what it takes to keep the formula fresh, just please don’t let it involve more zombies!!!

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

2011-03-13T01:14:00.000-08:00

Title: All The Boys Love Mandy Lane
Director: Jonathan Levine
Released: 2006
Staring: Amber Heard, Anson Mount, Whitney Able, Michael Welch, Edwin Hodge, Aaron Himelstein, Luke Grimes, Melissa Price, Adam Powell

Plot: Mandy Lane (Heard) is beautiful and pure while also being desired by the majority of the boys at her school and also sharing a close friendship with outcast Emmet (Welch). Invited to a party at a friends ranch, Mandy soon becomes a target of lust for the boys, all eager to be the one who finally manages to sleep with her, but when a hooded stranger shows up at the ranch, its only the beginning of a real killer weekend.

Review: What is it about the Weinstein’s which causes them to make such lousy decisions, with the most bile inducing of these choices, especially for those us based in the UK being their decision to split the Tarantino / Rodriguez double feature homage “Grindhouse” into it’s separate features, rather than allow us Brits to see the original cut of the film, after it didn’t perform as well as expected stateside and this is only after a heavy international promotional campaign, making it only all the more of a kick in the teeth when they didn’t even bother with either a limited cinema release or DVD release of this cut. This decision did however prompt me to fly out to LA to see the film, in an insane weekend which saw me leave work to get on a plane for god knows how many hours, to then go from the airport on a hunt for a cinema showing the film, before then returning to the airport and flying back to the UK and pretty much straight back to work the next day, which might sound insane but was honestly was totally worth it! Due to the failure of that film, it would also serve to have a knock on effect on the distribution for this film, which at the time was also owned by the Weinstein’s, only for them to sell the film beliving that "Grindhouse" failing to make an impact was the begining of a decline in popularity for horror and sold the film to “Senator Entertainment US” only for them to go out of business and throw the film into distribution limbo, which meant that it has only now received a US release, almost three years after it had it’s UK release, though honestly despite this I have only now just gotten around to watching it myself.

From the beginning Director Levine chooses to shoot the character of Mandy with an almost siren esq aura, as a pure creature whom the boys in her high school are willing to do anything to impress and more to the point anything to get into her pants. This is only further proven by one member of the popular group of kids, who not only fails fatally with his attempt to impress her by jumping off the roof of his house during the opening pool party, but also provides a great example of what can be best described as “Thinning the herd”. Flash forward nine months and Mandy is non the less alluring with the story of what happened at the party only adding to her allure it would seem, somthing especially proven by the latest group of boys all wanting to try their chances. Still Mandy is the sort of girl that many of us remember from school who had that something about them, which made them seemingly irresistible to our hormone driven selves back then and it’s a credit to Heard that she has managed to not only capture this essence but also convincingly portray on screen and archetype which can’t truly be described, while the rest of the cast get the considerably easier task of playing more character with more traditional and cookie cutter style characterisation.

From the outset it might not seem any different from any of the other cookie cutter slashers filling the market, after all we have the usual group of oversexed teens, going to some remote location and meeting their maker in a variety of creative ways. So yep that’s all covered here, but were it differs is the clear desire by Director Levine to not obey the restrictions of the genre, as he plays around with camera styles and keeps an almost dream like feeling running throughout the film, only allowing the occasional moment of sobriety in which he shoots the film straight, all this aided by a soundtrack which avoids the usual noisy indie bands instead opting for chilled out shoegaze bands and a classical score to keep the calm feeling, which he sundrenched and isolated ranch setting only further instils, only making it the more effective when he takes his slasher from the traditional nocturnal stalk and slash pattern and continues into brilliant daylight, turning paradise truly into a nightmarish landscape, similar to the effect seen using the Australian outback in Greg McLean’s shocking debut “Wolf Creek” (2005), with the colour palette leaning towards yellows and browns providing an interesting washed out look.

When it comes to the gore, Levine gets pretty creative and gives us some different deaths than the usual Teen meets Axe / Knife / Random blunt object and even though the identity of the hooded slasher is revealed shortly after he is introduced, it still doesn’t take anything away from the film, as this killer is more about motive than mystery, especially when appears to enjoy taunting his intended victims and takes the time to play with each of them, before delivering the final death blows. Still Levine at least attempts to throw a red hearing into the mix, whom even after the slasher is revealed is still left with questionable motives, until Levine decides to remove them from the equation.

“All The Boys Love Mandy Lane” is a low key horror film and I think that’s why it works so well, as it doesn’t feel the needs to be big, brash and loud like so many of it’s slasher counterparts and while it’s style might turn off your more hyperactive slasher fan, for those of you who like an edge of indie cool to your films, then this might be what happens when you apply that edge to the slasher genre, especially with Levine not allowing his vision to be restricted and instead filming it how he wants to and forcing the rest of the world to bend to his vision and although it might turn of some, it’s a refreshing change from just going through the same slasher motions, which “Wolf Creek” also used if perhaps with a more brutal edge than seen here.

Slugs

2011-03-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

Title: Slugs
Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Released: 1988
Staring: Michael Garfield, Kim Terry, Philip MacHale, Santiago Álvarez

Plot: When people start mysteriously dying, local health inspector Mike Brady (Garfield) discovers that a mutant strain of black slugs are responsible, but can he convince the authorities in time?

Review: There have frequently been moments throughout the history of the creature feature, were upon realising that the usual scary animals (Snakes, Spiders, Sharks etc) had been exhausted, that studios started looking to less likely objects of terror, such as Worms (Squirm), Giant Bunnies (Night of the Lepus) or Ants (Phase IV), while Larry Cohen has spent the best part of his career making the least likely of things scary, most memorably with his killer baby trilogy “It’s Alive” as well as also turning his attention to the idea of Killer Yogurt with “The Stuff”. Still some of these films worked surprisingly well or at least held some camp value, while as to be expected, these idea also created some serious none starters which it’s safe to say this film is certainly one of.

I first came across this movie, like I did for “Xtro 2” which was while scanning the shelves of my local video store "The Video Bug". It was here that I spent hours looking through the horror titles mainly and getting my kicks off the various gruesome cover arts and equally graphic film stills and like “Xtro 2” something stuck with me about this film, even though I’ve only now finally got around to watching the darn thing, which honestly for all it was hyped up by my cousin back when I was a kid, it really wasn’t worth dwelling over, for while slugs are naturally creepy things, they don’t exactly lend themselves well to horror, even if they are particularly vicious mutant strain complete with angry teeth filled mouths and even less when your relinging on showing speeded up footage of them.

The main problem “Slugs” suffers from is that it’s strengths all draw from it's gory scenes, which grows increasingly graphic as the film goes through with Simón not satisfied to stick with just slug on human carnage, but also manages to include a popped eyeball, a hacked off limb and even finding time to include what is possibly the first exploding greenhouse captured on film, aswell as a particularly standout moment were the slugs give one unfortunate victim one hell of a headache. Sadly as result of this focus the film has far to many dull patches between these scenes, were none of the cast and least of Director Simón seem to know what to do, which is helped even less, by how unlikable the characters are, with the majority of them nothing but slug chow. It’s kind of a shame actually that Simón’s interest doesn’t seem to stretch past the attack scenes, as these are frequently quite haunting in places including a scene towards the end were one character after being knocked into a pool is suddenly ravaged by the titular beasties in a scene which not only features a truly laughable attempt at a rescue, but also a corpse that looks like it’s deflating. Still these chills could be more to do psychological effect that slugs tend have over folks (myself included) than anything to do with any directorial talent of Simón.

Still when it comes to the method for dealing with these pesky beasties, no one seems to have considered using anything resembling the traditional way of dealing with them, by showing them with salt, but rather opting for the Hollywood way of Explosives and electricity to despatch them back to whatever slimy circle of hell they slithered out from. Yes this is the plan devised by a so called SLUG EXPERT played here by Santiago Álvarez, who here also handily fills the requirement for a British scientist, the kind of who are required by law to appear in these movies and preferably wear lab coats at all times, as after all that's how we know he's the expert.

The other problem the film suffers from is that it is a page to screen copy of the original novel by Shaun Hutson. Yes that’s right kids the publish world also bought into the idea of killer slugs and incase you were wondering, it’s bizarrely enough also garbage, just in the written word form as it is in the moving picture form, not that Hutson really cares it would seem apparently stating that Simón could “do what he liked” providing that he got paid and his original work wasn’t changed, which only surprised him further when Simón took him at his word, which might not have really been the best option here, especially as the plot is painfully plodding at best, with disposable characters having back stories fleshed out, which serve to really only add to the local colour of the town than anything plot wise.

The soundtrack here is almost schizophrenic, seeing how it seems to have been compiled purely of library tracks, rather than anything written specifically for the film, with only the slugs getting any form of soundtracking, while the rest of the soundtrack verges from sitcom to just plain random tracks, with none of it seemingly being placed to represent the action on screen.

“Slugs” is a film with numerous issues and wasn’t exactly worth the wait to see it, even if the gory moments are quite satisfying and no doubt the bits your more than likely to revisit, which is now only made the easier thanks to the film getting a DVD release, which is also the fully uncut version which gives you a few extra seconds of gore, but still nothing to explain how this film made it onto the banned list in Australia.

Boxset Binges #3 - Breaking Bad (Season One)

2011-03-01T01:19:00.000-08:00

Opening with the sight of a pair of discarded trousers flying in slow motion through the desert air, we quickly cut to Walter (Bryan Cranston) frantically driving his AV slash mobile drug lab through the desert, wearing nothing bar his underwear and a gas mask and from this moment it’s safe to say that this is one series which really knows how to hit the ground running, as these frantic opening moments are soon followed by a quick video confession, before Walter steps out into the road pistol drawn as the approaching sirens grow ever closer, as he looks set to go out in a blaze of glory, before suddenly cutting back to the beginning of his story, for Walter isn’t just another drug dealer, but a downtrodden high school chemistry teacher, who is struggling to pay the bills and subsidising the money he earns teaching, by working a second job at a car wash for his abusive (and wacky eye browed) Russian boss. Still when Walt finds out he is suffering from terminal lung cancer things seem to be only getting worse for him. Still it’s only after going on a ride along with his brother in Law and DEA officer Hank (Dean Norris) as Hank's team raid a local Meth lab, that Walt suddenly realises there might be a way to solve all his problems.
Soon it’s not long before he’s hooked up with his former students turned Meth dealer Jesse (Aaron Paul), using his extensive chemistry knowledge for a slightly less than legal means.

Created by Vince Gilligan, who fans of “The X files” might recognise, especially as was responsible for not only writing some of the more memorable one shoot / monster of the week episodes across the nine seasons the show ran, but for also helping to wrap up both “The Lone Gunmen” and “Millennium” offshoots with their final episodes disguised as X files episodes and it’s nice to see that rather than retread over similar ground on another sci-fi show, that he has instead taken the natural humour of “The X Files” and transferred it into this first attempt at an original project of his own.

Bryan Cranston who plays Walter is probably best known for playing the hen pecked Hal in “Malcom in the Middle” and to an extent it’s a role he reprises here, to great effect as the downtrodden Walter, who after giving up a promising career to teach high school chemistry is just a guy who seriously can’t get a break and although it’s familiar material for Cranston, it’s his gradual slide to the darker side of his personality, were he truly shines and it’s only later in this first season when these darker moments become more frequent, that it become clearer why the shows creator Vince Gilligan lays on Walters trouble so thickly, for it’s discovering that he has cancer that like Lester's midlife crisis in “American Beauty” (1999), that it creates the trigger point needed to induce a radical switch in personality and Cranston truly sells this role, as he more than convincingly switches between mild mannered Walter the science teacher, while verging on becoming a psycho as he Meth cooking alter ego especially in the final couple of episodes, which is only added to by his newly shaved head.

While watching this first season I found the constant urge to draw comparisons between this show and “Six Feet Under” due to both having a streak of pitch black humour throughout, while being set in a profession not exactly known for being the greatest source of humour, though the majority of this humour like “Six Feet Under” comes from both Walter and Jesse trying to muddle their way into the big leagues of the Meth trade, based more on the quality of the Meth that Walters chemical expertise creates, rather than any kind of “Scarface” (1983) style rise through the ranks, especially when they frequently find themselves out of their depth, while towards the end of this first season soon coming to release exactly how much they need each other.

Something which might raise a gripe with some of you, especially for the more detail orientated is the lack of focus on the addictive nature and effects of meth addiction, which in this world see’s it as the casual drug of choice and no doubt could easily have been replaced with the production of Marijuana and with Walter being a Biologist instead of a chemist, but seeing how “Weeds” cornered that market, the other drug choices are limited with Heroin being still far too taboo and Cocaine too predictable, it seem that Meth was pretty much the only workable option remaining. Still the lack of concern which Walter shows in regards to the people he supplies, is something which is strangely over looked, even when Walter is at his most Naive and straight edged, with Walters only real concerns being the money they are making from the product and hiding this secret double life from his wife.

The other main gripe that comes with this series is all to do with the pacing which is only all the more evident when Walt and Jesse don’t really start cooking Meth seriously until the final episode of the seven episode season, with the other six episodes being looking instead at their misguided beginnings and general clashes of personality, until their grand realisation of how much they need each other, but this still amounts to what seems like a lot of running around, for only the smallest amount of progress, which makes it clear that Gilligan is in no hurry to rush this story along, preferring to concentrate on characterisation than spectacle.

Despite a few gripes, this is overly a great first season and definatly worth giving a look, especially if you’re like me and like a healthy dose of black humour in your drama, while Cranston is riveting as Walter and truly sells the role, while by the end of this first season I was already eager to hunt out season 2 and seeing were the series goes next, especially after the strong foundation setup by this first seasons

Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

2011-02-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

Title: Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
Director: Scott Glosserman
Released: 2006
Staring: Nathan Baesel, Angela Goethals, Robert Englund, Scott Wilson, Zelda Rubinstein, Bridgett Newton, Kate Lang Johnson, Ben Pace, Britain Spellings, Kane Hodder

Rating: 4 / 5

Plot: Leslie Vernon (Baesel) is an aspiring serial killer who models his murders using Horror film conventions, inviting a documentary crew to follow him as he prepares to stage his masterpiece.

Review: Since the release of “Man Bites Dog” (1992) there have been numerous attempts to recreate the idea, which featured a documentary crew following a serial killer as he goes about his chosen profession, with the most note worthy to date being the dire “The Last Horror Movie” (2003), which is interestingly enough also the film being stolen in the UK video piracy advert, which in all honesty is a much better idea than actually wasting your money on it, but here Director Glosserman has instead thrown us a curve ball, no doubt realising that he couldn’t top “Man Bites Dog”, he has instead set the film with in the same fantasy film within a film world which Quentin Tarantino more recently has preferred to set his films, creating a film which is not only darkly comic but also gives the occasional clever nod to it’s source material.

Setting the film within a film, certainly helps to not only give the film a new spin, but also throws the viewer off step, for this is world that they are certainly not used to, but in doing so it has allowed Glosserman to have his characters reference slasher legends, such as Freddy, Jason and even Michael Myers, as the film opens on the streets of Elm St, were we also get a fun cameo from Kane Hodder as Freddy Krugers neighbour, before the film then moves onto the banks of crystal lake, with these fiction killers being viewed with a sense of almost awe, in particular when we are introduced to Leslie’s mentor, who has long since retired, commenting how he was practically forced out by the aforementioned mentioned slashers “Raising the game to a whole new level”. Still it’s the conversations between Leslie and his mentor, that provide the most insight into this world, as we see his mentor still practicing yoga style breathing techniques, which despite either character explaining the reason, will be clear to those familiar with the genre as being an effective way of faking your death.

Still not content to keep the film within the film world, Glosserman throws us a further curve ball, by stepping out of this world and letting the viewer, watch the film as an actual slasher film and all with a simple change of film stock from handheld cameras for the documentary world to cinefilm for when Glosserman steps back and allows us to view it as a slasher film, which was confusing to begin with until it hit home what he was trying to achieve, but then Glosserman isn’t a director who feels he constantly needs to hold the audiences hand or constantly dumb things down with continual explanation, preferring it would seem to allow them work things out for themselves.

Much like “Man Bites Dog”, there is a heavy focus on the preparation, which goes into what he does with majority of the running time being dedicated to the setup for the final stalk and slash sequence, as Leslie walks the documentary crew through the setup of the location and how he intends for the action to play out, even clearing up some horror clichés, as he explains almost why so many stupid things which happen in slasher films, like windows failing to open actually happen, which if we are to believe what Leslie tells us, is largely down to the forward planning of the slasher. Still it’s this deconstruction of the genre, which provides several of the films highlights, including Leslies own personal training regime, as he shown having to train daily to keep his fitness levels up, while his house is filled with medical textbooks, ensuring that he is hitting all the right spots on his intended victims and only highlighting the thought which has been put into the character, while bringing a sense of realism to the film, rather than leaving the audience to believe that he was born a natural slasher.

The cast are all likeable enough, with the documentary crew coming across more curious than Naive to what Leslie does and while they don’t become as involved as the crew in “Man Bites Dog”, they still sell the reason that they are filming the documentary well, while the teens making up the intended targets of the slaughter Leslie are planning coming off more stereotypical, though I suspected this was the intention of Glosserman, especially with some of the twists he pulls out during the finale, while he also handles the use of his horror icons well, as rather than have them upfront and centre, he instead keeps them squarely in supporting if still memorable roles, with Poltergeist's Zelda Rubinstein appearing as a libarian, while Robert Englund here embodies Halloween’s “Dr. Loomis” as Doc Halloran, a character who is underused here, no doubt due to the glaring similarities and serves more as another horror nod, rather than a character with any importance, despite Leslie’s mentor declaring him “Leslie’s Ahab” which only makes it more of a shame that Glosserman chose to not expand on this character, much like his decision to make the finale, a straightforward slasher and almost feels like he attempting to redeem the documentary crew, for their earlier actions and in particular their bizarre willingness to go along with Leslie plotting.

In the end it might fail to reach the same level as “Man Bites Dog” especially in terms of Leslie chosen profession, which Leslie instead shows a much more restrained demeanour and despite the earlier mentioned flaws it’s still a film worthy of being compared to “Man Bites Dog”, if only for attempting to do something different, rather than a straight adaptation and while it might have it’s moments of plagiarism, but still has a lot of original ideas to balance things out, including some great character design work especially with Leslie, who is a potential horror icon in the making and it’s this raw potential on show here, which alone makes it worth a look.

Wrapping Up Year Two

2011-02-16T11:31:00.000-08:00

So wow it’s now officially been two years since I got that crazed idea about first started this blog, with nothing but a desire to ignore the traditional paths of film criticism / blogging and instead focus my critical eye on the movies which make up the Cult, Foreign and obscure cinema genres, along with pretty much everything in between to include whatever happens to turn up in my equally random reading pile, which not only takes over my bedside table, but constantly threatens to kill me in my sleep when the pile inevitably colapses on me... still it's alot more intresting than just looking at whatever Hollywood happens to have churned out that week, which could be seen as the more popular path for film blogs to take and one that I'm frequently glad that I'm not tied to, if only for the fact that I'm sure it wouldn't have been this much fun to write.
Okay i'll admit it, that it’s pretty much safe to say that I’ve not been the most notorious or frenzied of bloggers over these last two years, but from the beginning I’ve always wanted to write for the fun of writing rather than because I felt I had to and I guess it’s because of this it’s continued to be a fun ride, while not only revisiting some old favourites but also discovering a whole heap of equally great films along with some truly god awful ones as well.

I’d also like to take this time to thank everyone who has dropped by the blog since it started, aswell as anyone whose dropped me a comment, which at times kind of reassured me that someone was actually reading the blog, so thanks for all the support and allow me to now present in return, the main lessons which I have learned from the films, which made up year two, as I now look forward eagerly to the obscure delights that Year three will no doubt bring, especially as I now look over at the pile of films still to watch, along with continuing the “A-Z of Asian Cinema” and the various other fun things that are already being planned out, but in the meantime here’s what we learned from Year Two!

* If you can’t decide what film you want to make? Have a desire to feature Giant pigs, crazed rednecks, bizarre cults and Mad Max style action? Well just throw all your ideas into the same film and use a flexible location which lends itself well to all your ideas. (Pig Hunt)

* Thorpe Park really need to start putting more effort into their park desire on it’s “Fright Nights” as this year was like a normal day at the park, with the added bonus of it’s horror mazes, which still doesn’t really account for such inflated ticket prices (Fright Night 2010)

* Creating a non predictable double feature is both a challenging and obsessive thing (The Double Feature Challenge)

* Zombies and masked Mexican wrestlers always spell out fun times ahoy, much like the prospect of watching giant wrestling squid. (Enter…Zombie King / The Calamari Wrestler)

* Just because you critic Horror movies does not mean that you’re able to write, let alone play the leading role in a great horror film. Yes “Arrow in the head” I’m sorry to say that “Deaden” was probably the most painful viewing experience of this year if not since I started the blog, which seeing how I've also covered "S. Darko" is kinda saying somthing.

* The long waited return of Bret Easton Ellis with "Imperial Bedrooms" was kind of a disappointment, though despite being alittle short for the time it seemingly took to write the darn thing, it was still an okay read. Still I have to ask if “Less Than Zero” really needed a sequel?

* Dawn from “Welcome to the Dollhouse” is essentially a younger version of Enid from “Ghost World”, making it a equally twisted humoured prequel to that cult classic.

*Japan is still the home of truly random cinema….I mean were else could you find movies like “Battle League Horumo” and “The Calamari Wrestler”

* Werner Herzog might still be looking for his new Klaus Kinski, but I really would love to see him work with Nicolas Cage again. (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans)

* Cpl Ferro from “Aliens” would still be the one I would save, or is this just my obsession with Collette Hiller, swaying my opinion. Also if you want to see “Aliens” on a budget, then “Xtro 2” might just be the movie for you! (The One I Would Save)

* “Whip it” really wasn’t the great Roller Derby movie we were all hoping for, even if it did feature Ellen Page in derby gear. Still I guess we still have the original “Rollerball” in the meantime.

* “Kaiju season” proved to me there’s still a whole load of great Kaiju movies I’ve yet to see, while also making me question my original opinion of “Mothra” whose own movie, was a whole lot better than any of her supporting performances, but then if anyone was going to pull that trick off, it was always going to be the master of Kaiju Ishiro Honda, as he brought the same intensity to a giant moth he created with the original “Godzilla” while proving once again, that these giant monster movies can be deeper than men in rubber monster suits, stomping on Tokyo.

So that's what I learned from year two.....really looking forward to seeing what Year Three brings.

Hell Comes To Frogtown

2011-01-29T12:31:00.001-08:00

Title: Hell Comes To Frogtown
Director: Donald G. Jackson
Released: 1988
Staring: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, Cec Verrell, William Smith, Rory Calhoun

Plot: Set in the aftermath of a Nuclear war, which has not only left the majority of the surviving human race infertile, but has also created a race of mutant frogmen, who have since their creation been exiled to the desert, creating thier own society for themselves known as Frogtown. With the frogs having recently captured a group of fertile women, the all female government recruit drifter Sam Hell (Piper), to bring them back aswell asking them to reproduce with them, seeing how he is possibly the last fertile man on earth, while at the same time strapping a bomb to his crotch to ensure that he carries out his mission.

Review: I think there seriously must have been something in the water in 80’s, especially when you look at some of insane titles which the era produced, something which this film is a testament not only to, but also highlights the questionable style and content of Director Jackson’s films, which unsurprisingly earned him the moniker of being “The Ed Wood of the Video Age.”, while creating his own style of film making with Scott Shaw, known simply as “Zen Filmaking”, were no scripts were used in the creation of film, which probably goes along way to explaining some of his films, while it’s also worth noting the sheer passion that Jackson has for those same films, frequently directing the sequels they spawned, though it could also be questioned at the same time if anyone else would really want to direct a sequel to one of his films?

“Hell Comes To Frogtown” is probably the best known of Jackson’s films, no doubt as a result of the casting of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, who was at the time was also one of the top name wrestlers in the WWE (back then was still known as the WWF) and when you look at his performance here and the John Carpenter classic “They Live” (1988), it's kinda suprising that he wasn’t used more as an actor, especially while his WWE Stablemate “Hulk Hogan” was torturing us all with some pretty hideous performances, while Piper is strangely watchable. Still the whole tone of the film is pretty light hearted, which certainly helps here, as no one appears to be taking it too seriously, while the frogman special effects are pretty good, even if occasionally the mouths seem to be just opening and closing at random while some of the characters talk, depending on how important thier character is, the effect really do vary with the majority of the money being spent on the main villians, while hench-froggies get effects scraped together from the remainder of the budget.

Sam Hell is the typical 80’s wasteland hero, not only because he has bad hair and a stupid sounding name (See also for this same reason “Violence Jack” [1986] ) but mainly because he cares pretty much about himself and Piper plays up well to the stereotype, even carrying off the reference to the classic eastern tale “Monkey: Journey to the West” by having the bomb attached to his crotch, controlled by the bespectacled and slightly nerdy commanding officer Spangle’s (Bergman) ear ring, with her frequently threatening to set the bomb off whenever Hell attempts to run off or disobey her. Meanwhile Hell has some pretty badass backup from the gung ho Centinella (Verrell), who proves herself pretty handy with the heavy machine gun strapped to the top of their questionably camouflaged in pink Ambulance.

The bad guys are none the less stereotypical or cartoonish, but seriously what were you expecting from a bunch of mutant froggies? Especially ones lead by a Commander Toady! Still atleast he bothers to have a cool henchman with the eye patch wearing and chainsaw welding Bull, who also has some of the best moments of the film. Toady it would seem is also the kind of guy who likes to makes the best of a bad situation, seeing how Frogtown is pretty much an abandoned refinery in the desert, so was fun to see that he bothered to install a GoGo bar complete with it’s own mutant dancer, actually that seems to be all he has installed bar a thrown together torture room and the mention if some mine, with the rest of the action taking place outside of these locations being set in random outside locations. Still I have give Jackson some form of props for atleast giving us a look at the female of the mutant species, who it seems Hell even considers humping thanks to a sudden cut to Hell and the said dancer now wearing a potato sack over her head, to disguise the fact that ….well she’s a giant mutant frog I guess, still it would seem that interspecies relations aren’t to be on the cards here, as Hell ends up spurning her advances, which depending on your view point might be either a good or a bad thing. Personally I was kind of relived as there are some things I can go though live without seeing and Piper humping a mutant frog go-go dancer is certainly one of them.

Action wise these scenes are all pretty solid with Piper unloading shotgun shells, while spitting out classic one liners like “Eat Lead Froggies” and throwing in the occasional wrestling grapple, even though he appears to screw up a suplex on Bull, but on the whole the action scenes are still satisfying enough, even throwing in a Mad Max style chase sequence.

The real main problem this film suffers from is the fact it doesn’t seem to know what to do with itself, with a tricky third quarter, which the momentum from the earlier scenes just about carries the film past, before the action packed finale, thanks to the earlier scenes which are not so much tongue in cheek, but rather tongue forcibly crammed in cheek, which really serves to prepare you for the insanity to come.

“Hell Comes To Frogtown” is pretty much the kind of movie you’d expect it to be and while it might not be for everyone, especially for those who can’t appreciate a mutant frog movie and while that third quarter does hold it back from being a true cult classic, it’s still worth a look, if only so you can name yourself another Roddy Piper movie, other than “They Live” let alone one in which he brawls with mutant frogmen with a bomb strapped to his crotch, which lets face it is pretty much all you should want to know, before hunting this one down and maybe watch it as a post apocalyptic double with the equally zany “Six String Samurai” (1998).

H Is For Hard Boiled

2011-01-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

Title: Hard Boiled
Director: John Woo
Released: 1992
Staring: Chow Yun-Fat, Tony Leung, Teresa Mo, Philip Chan, Philip Kwok, Anthony Wong,

Plot: Tequila (Yun-Fat) is a detective who it would seem plays solely by his own rules, whom after loosing his partner during a raid on a teahouse is forced to team up with an undercover agent (Leung), when he uncovers a war between two major gun smugglers.

Review: The story goes that after having spent the majority of his career glamorising criminals, John Woo got tired of being criticised and set out to make a film which glamorised the police instead, which I think it’s pretty safe to say he was more than a little successful with this film, which not only glamorises the crime fighting actions of the Police, but also gives us, without question one of the coolest cops to ever grace the screen, even if Tequila’s personal brand of justice is anything close to traditional police procedure.

It might be true that in recent years John Woo, might have seemed to have lost his way especially after suffering several career missteps with some less than brilliant films, he made in the Hollywood studio system, before his storming returning to form with “Red Cliff” (2008) marking his return to the same Hong Kong studio system he made his career with. while this film for myself personally marking the water mark of the early Hong Kong years, which provided his ticket to Hollywood, who at the time were keen to replicate the style and success (read cash in) of the Hong Kong action films, which was unsuprising seeing how it was Woo, who had originally lead the charge with “The Killer” (1989) and now took full advantage of the opportunity especially with Hong Kong audiences changing and audiences craving comedies rather than the bullet ballets that he and directors like Ringo Lam were crafting.
Still for myself this film is the true high water mark of Woo’s career, as not only does it contain all of his trademarks, but pretty much hits the ground running as he opens with some light jazz followed by a shootout in a tea house, all with in the space of the opening ten minuites, setting a brief pace that Woo never once chooses to let up, a the bullets fly and locations are reduced to rubble and all with barely a reload in sight.

The action scenes are were Woo truly comes into his own, for not only does the trailer not even cover half of the action scenes, but he also doubles the length of the average action sequence, while also ensuring that he is not just repeating the same scenes of carnage, but rather trying to top what he has shown the audience already, while still finding the time to include his trademarks such as the Mexican Stand off and Tequila’s dual pistols, which thanks to Woo is now an image frequently associated with Chow Yun-Fat, despite the fact it was only in the movies he made with Woo that he uses such a move. The hospital shootout finale alone is a stunning thirty plus minutes of non stop action, despite being a questionable in terms of tastefulness having been carried across from the original script, which had centred around a plot involving poisoned baby formula which Woo disliked, changing the script to resolve around a gun running operation instead, which was certainly for the best while no doubt giving Woo further excuse to have another shoot out, even turning a tea house into a key smuggling location, which is busted open during the opening raid by Tequila’s team.

Chow Yun-Fat is clearly on the top of his game here, with Woo once again proving to be one of the few directors, who know how to truly utilise his charisma and ability as an action hero, something which it could be argued that perhaps only Ringo Lam came close to replicating, which has over the years lead less education movies goers to question his appeal as an actor, though you’d need only watch this film, to know why he has such a cult like following, for he takes the character of Tequila and ensures that it’s impossible to image the role being played by anyone else and while Woo would struggle to replicate these sorts of characters with other actors in his later films, here the potent combination of this actor / director combo has never been better, with Yun-Fat effortlessly spouting cool one liners, while brandishing his trademark dual pistols, as he takes on the countless triad masses. On the flipside undercover cop Alan, carries severe guilt over every life he is forced to take in the line of his work, living a solitary existence on his boat, surrounded by paper cranes, each of which representing a taken life.

Meanwhile Anthony Wong is on top villain duties as the triad leader Johnny Wong, who is not only ruthless but lacks even a shred of remorse for any of his actions, while ironically running his gun smuggling operation from a hospital basement, which also provides the setting for the spectacular finale, were Woo it would seem not content from having already provided three standout action sequences earlier, somehow manages to top all of them again, while perhaps pushing the boundaries of taste with his choice of location, which provides of the truly memorable moments of the film, in which Tequila is attempting to escape the hospital with a baby, only for the baby to put out the flames on his leg with it’s stream of urine, leading to perhaps one of the greatest lines in Hong Kong cinema ever “Hey Kid, Your piss put out my flames”.

“Hard Boiled” is not a subtle film, but then who really wants a subtle action film? Still whatever John Woo does with his career, he will always be able to rest easy that he crafted not only one of the best action films ever, bet set a pretty high bench mark for the films which followed and one that is yet to truly be beaten, even by the master himself who would go on to make other great films and a few aforementioned duffs, but then I doubt even Woo would find it hard to top this one, with the closest being Woo's Xbox 360 launch title "Stranglehold" which played like a sequel, though despite the rumbling from the rumour mill, it looks like we might have to wait that bit longer, before Tequila hits our screens again, so in the meantime why not just remind yourself why Woo is the legend he is.

C.R.A.Z.Y.

2011-01-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

Title: C.R.A.Z.Y.
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée
Released: 2005
Staring: Marc-André Grondin, Michel Côté, Danielle Proulx, Pierre-Luc Brillant, Alex Gravel, Maxime Tremblay, Mariloup Wolfe, Francis Ducharme

Rating: 4 / 5

Plot: Zachary (Grondin) is struggling to find his own identity, whilst growing up with his four brothers and dealing with the ongoing conflict between his own confused sexuality and the desire to please his strict father (Côté).

Review: The legend goes that nearly everyone in Quebec - whose population is around five million – have seen this film, which honestly after seeing this film I can really understand why, as this is more than just another coming of age tale about awakening sexuality. It’s also a film about a family’s own disfunctionality and the things which bound them together, even as events happening around them continually threaten to pull them apart, which is what in turns makes this such a funny and moving film and much more than the underlying sexual awaking which is more of a sub-plot than anything close to the main story, something I have found myself especially stressing when I have spoken to anyone about this film, even more so when so many synopsis are keen to make it seem like it’s the only plot here, rather than the rich tapestry of colourful characters and memorable sequences, all tied together with a pretty bad ass soundtrack and dryly humorous narration from Zac

The main bones of the story, follow the relationship between Zac and his Father, with Zac clearly from a young age being his father’s favourite, while keeping a watchful eye over to ensure that he grows up properly, as he frowns upon his son playing with carriages and clearly missing the irony of his own camp Patsy Cline obsession, all the while ignoring the insistence by his wife (Proulx) that it’s perfectly normal behaviour along with her belief in his supposed faith healing abilities. The moment this father son relationship suffering a major derailing though, is when he catches Zac dressed in his mothers pearls and heels, despite this being actually an innocent attempt by Zac to calm his crying baby brother. Needless to say this suspicion regarding his son’s sexuality stays with him throughout, despite the fact that Zac never truly understands his own sexuality, acting almost like a sexual tourist rather than someone experiencing their sexual awakening as he embarks on relationships with girls, while also engaging in blow backs while smoking pot, lusting after his cousin and even a spot of voyeurism, as he watches the sport lays of his elder brother Raymond (Brilliant), watching from the safety of a bedroom closet, while later regaling his peers with tales of his brothers sexual conquests. Still by the film’s end he is closer to bi-sexual, while certainly none the clearer on his own sexuality.

The rest of his family from the outset could be seen as stereotypical caricatures, what with the book worm, the jock etc, with only his older brother Raymond, receiving the time from director Vallée to be fleshed out further, especially as he descends further into drug addiction, as a result of his care free lifestyle, which bizarrely is more expectable to his father than being gay, who generally seems to encourage any behaviour which can be seen in a macho light.

Vallée like Tarantino is certainly a director who likes to work with his soundtrack, as like Tarantino’s soundtracks, the soundtrack here plays an equally important part, beyond establishing the period and mood, as he frequently uses these musical ques for flights of fantasy, including the parishioners attending midnight mass to suddenly bursting into the Rolling Stones “Sympathy for the Devil” as Zac floats up above the masses. While Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” features strongly, alongside Ziggy Stardust era Bowie, clearly representing Zac’s growing confusion about himself, in much the same way that these song represent similar themes of madness, confusion and the glam rock blurring of the line of sexuality.

It could be argued that it perhaps runs alittle too long at over two hours, but when these characters are so fascinating to watch, especially for the occastional surreal moments, such as Zac’s mother ironing toast, while her junkie son is going through withdrawal on the coach, so I can’t say that I was overly bothered by spending so much time in their company, even if at times it seemed like the story didn’t seem to know were it was going, as especially highlighted by Zac taking a sudden pilgrimage to Jerusalem, which is thankfully devoid of any religious significance, which was to be half expected as a lesser film might no doubt have used religion to save Zac’s soul, but even this moment of spontaneity doesn’t bring us any closer to a satisfactory conclusion, with the film almost seeming to end suddenly, though not before explaining it’s title, which is actually quite a subtle and fun joke. Still despite Vallée not wrapping everything up in a neat conclusion the film still feels complete in a way, for real life doesn’t come with neat happy conclusions and it’s this thought which Vallée almost seems to share with the ending he has chosen.

While it might not be for everyone, especially with it’s spontaneous style of storytelling, it is still worth watching once, after all Five Million French Canadians can’t be wrong can they?

Goemon

2010-12-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

Title: Goemon
Director: Kazuaki Kiriya
Released: 2009
Staring: Yosuke Eguchi, Takao Osawa, Ryoko Hirosue, Eiji Okuda, Jun Kaname, Goi, Hashinosuké Nakamura

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: Goemon Ishikawa (Eguchi) is a master thief happily robbing the rich retainers to give to the poor with his assistant Sasuke Sarutobi (Gori). His life is however soon thrown into turmoil when he steals a Pandora’s Box-type device from malevolent would-be-emperor, Hideyoshi Toyotomi (Okuda), unwittingly opening up a conspiracy that implicates the powerful official in the murder of Nobunaga Oda (Nakamura), Goemon’s mentor and uncle to love interest Chacha (Ryoko Hirosue).

Review: Kiriya’s debut feature “Casshern” (2004) was an insane slice of sci-fi madness, that not only blew my tiny little mind the first time I saw it, but also blended hyper kinetic action scenes with stunning design work. Still it was even more impressive in how it managed to flawlessly blend CGI and more traditional effects to the point were it didn’t feel like you were watching a film being presented in a CGI created world, but a one in which the edges of both the real world and the CGI one blend together effortlessly to create one mindblowing stage for which Kiriya used to create the fantastical landscapes and vast robot armies of the source anime and it's this same frenzied and fantastic style that he now brings to feudal Japan, with this historical bio of Japan’s answer to Robin Hood, the Ninja turned bandit hero Goemon, as Kiriya plays fast and loose with the mixture of fact, fiction and legend of the titular hero, to create another frantic and fast paced film, which hits the ground running and rarely lets up throughout it’s running time.

Goemon is almost the perfect hero for Kiriya to choose for a biopic, if only due to the lack of actual historic information which is actually known about the man, though Kiriya has really only used this to his advantage it would seem, while setting out with the intension of making him almost a fantastical character, as he captures the pop samurai style of “Azumi” (2003), while a roguish performance from Eguchi, also gives the character under shades of Lupin the Third from “Castle of Cagliostro” (1979), making him not only a rebel, but also pretty handy in a fight, as highlighted through the numerous fight scenes, with Kiriya shooting these in the same glossy style as the rest of the film, which trades historical accuracy for pop video style, meaning that we are treated to such surreal moments such as a group of prostitutes performing a hip hop style influenced dance sequence, which for those of you wanting a truly accurate picture might find a little off putting, but then this music video style is hardly surprising when you consider that this was the provin g grounds, were Kiriya, like so many equally visual directors such as David Fincher and Spike Jonze, started out his directing career before moving into directing films and like those directors Kiriya has continued to bring that same creativity and glossy style to his films.

The plot is anything but straightforward, especially when Kiriya has chosen to pepper it with so many flashbacks, it often become hard to quite follow how everything links together especially when trying to take in how the numerous characters caught up in the main conspiracy of the story link together and something that is not especially helped by the addition of a clumsy love triangle, which only further adds to the confusion and it’s a similar problem to the one which dogged Kiriya’s debut “Casshern” which was also dogged by the same confusing style of plotting, as you find yourself being thrown from one stunning sequence to the next and though the ride is certainly enjoyable and without a doubt gorgeous to look at, you can’t help but wish that he had instead dedicated alittle more time to the construction of the story, rather than the best way to put each of these highly visual ideas on the screen, much like the countless themes which he attempts to cover with the same film with Romance, friendship, betrayal, political intrigue and epic battles just a handful of the ideas he attempts to lock into place, only generally adding further to the ongoing confusion.

The action scenes are all equally as exciting and in some case more so than what Kiriya attempted with his debut, as ninjas fly across the rooftops as buildings crumble around them, with Goemon seemingly having more gadgets than James Bond, including his multifunctional chain, while proving himself just as handy with a samurai sword in any of the numerous sword fights featured throughout and usually ending in a blood being splattered across faces and limbs being hacked off in the process, but other than a public execution, there is nothing too overly shocking here. The only problem that I did find, was that in certain sequences, that the CGI and real worlds seems to loose the gloss which blended them so seamlessly together, which could be down largely to lack of funds to support some of the more grander of Kiriya’s idea throughout, though even these scenes look great, even if their noticeable sub par graphic do pull you out of the film slightly.

While it might seem more style than substance, this film still makes for a fun piece of escapism and while being slightly less bewildering than Kiriya’s debut feature, it still suffers from pockets of confusion if mainly due to the sheer catalogue of colourful characters and intriguing plot twists and it could no doubt have benefited from tighter editing but despite these flaws it is still an exciting and great looking film and certainly worth giving a look, especially for fans of Kiriya’s debut which certainly has gained a decent sized following since it’s release and no doubt those same fans will lap this up too.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

2010-12-07T22:48:00.000-08:00

Title: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
Director: Jon Knautz
Released: 2007
Staring: Robert Englund, Trevor Matthews, Rachel Skarsten, David Fox, Daniel Kash

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: Jack Brooks (Matthews) is a Plumber with some serious anger issues, the result of having witnessed his family being slaughtered by a demon back when he was a kid. Still Jack soon finds himself in a whole world of trouble, when he wakens an ancient evil after fixing the pipes of his night school professor Dr. Crowley (Englund), who is soon possessed and turned into a demon, leaving it up to Jack to stop him.

Review: What is it about the current Horror scene, which has caused it to be so incapable of producing memorable characters anymore, with perhaps the sole exception it would seem being the “Saw” franchise which is now more an exploration of ideas and iconology, rather than anything resembling creating a new horror icon, who appears throughout a series, with Jigsaw these days reduced to cameo appearances, while B-Movie actors fight over his legacy and with studios more content to churn out one shot villains or just remake tried and tested franchises. But seriously through were are the Jason’s and Freddy’s or even the new Ash of this era? Now don't start getting too over excited and start assuming that after that little rant, that you finally having a new hero to root for as they unleash hell on the unholy hordes, as although this is something Jack Brooks does rather well in a brute force and ignorance kind of way, this film still feels like too much of an introduction to this character and almost like a TV pilot which has been expanded into a feature, rather than the first entry in what has the potential of being a great series.

From the beginning it certainly hits the ground running, while also highlighting it’s use of old school FX over crappy looking CGI, with these effects continuing thoughout, as we open with one of the monstrous creation laying waste to a bunch of tribal warriors, before being introduced to a slightly feral version of Jack, as the film suddenly takes us right back to the beginning as we are given the whistle stop tour of Jack’s past complete with his dry running narration to highlight the more important parts, before ending up at the time in his life before he found his true calling, with Jack generally being the embodiment of an antihero, as it soon becomes over clear that not only does he have a slight issue with anger (basically knocking out anyone who ticks him off) but also really doesn't give to much of a damn what anyone thinks. It's these early beginnings which this film serves to essentially cover and well pretty little else, which is certainly worth knowing going into this film, especially if you want to avoid some serious disappointment, as it feels the film finally gets into a fun groove and then suddenly ends, having brought the story back to were it opened. This plotting is also not helped by the lack of a noteworthy villain, for Robert Englund’s mild mannered professor turning into a demon, is hardly the big nasty you'd expect, while also baring a striking similarity to the blob monster Chet gets turned into in “Weird Science” (1985), though it’s safe to say that moment of film randomness, never created it’s own army of student zombies.

Matthews is great as Jack and truly embodies the role, while never lets his performance become farcical, even when the film finally gets into a good monster slaying groove. Despite Jack being hardly the most likable of characters, seeing how he cusses off the majority of people he meets, while punching out the rest and being a real general arsehole, with the truly standout moment coming after the mentor esq Howard (Fox) has explained how he not only lost his arm, only for Jack to be more interested in how he dug the hole he buried the demon in, rather than anything to do with the monster he seems fated to face. Horror legend Englund seems to have fun, playing such an oddball role, even if the role consists of him largely acting frenzied and possessed while chowing down on a number of increasingly disgusting food sources, rather than anything particularly strenuous acting wise and even though he’s playing it for laughs it’s still believable enough, unlike the complete naivety of his night school class, who even when he’s entering the later stages of his demonic transformation, none of them actually seem to question what is actually wrong with him, other than the occasional comment on his appearance.

My main gripe with this film is all in the pacing, seeing how nothing really happens until the final quarter. True we get alot of build up and Englunds gradual transformation into a hideous demon, yet this does leave the feel feeling quite ponderous in places, as Knautz not only gives us the backstory for Jack but pretty much spends most of the film, driving home who Jack was before he finally finds his calling, which despite being made up for in the finale which is a joyous orgy of violence and slime, as Jack goes to town on the demon hordes, though the journey to these moments really does test the patience of the viewer, much like the first “Mad Max” (1979) which this film could certainly be comparable to, as both have the action packed openings and endings, with a focus on character development weighing everything down in the middle.

Knautz with this film could potentially given us the new Ash and with “Evil Dead 4” not seeming likely anytime soon, Jack could certainly be the one to help to fill the void, especially with the similarities in character between Jack and Ash, even if Jack really doesn't have the same quick fire one liners, though it's a mantle that Jack could easily pick up if Knautz ever gets around to making the proposed sequel, which going off this first film in what I hope will be the first in a great series, with this film no doubt making more sense especially with it’s pacing when seen as a series rather than a single film, again much like “Mad Max” which certainly worked a lot better when viewed as the first in a series and hence the start of a larger story, with were Knautz takes the character next certainly being intriguing prospect, though personally here’s hoping it’s more focused on the action side of things as this is truly were the real potential for the series lies, rather than trying to fill the audience in on every aspect of the Jack psyche, as the average horror viewer shows up for the prospect of gore, monsters and occasional nudity and not a psychology lesson. Here’s hoping that Knautz figures this out for the sequel.

The Horseman

2010-12-01T00:56:00.000-08:00

Title: The Horseman
Director: Steven Kastrissios
Released: 2008
Staring: Peter Marshall, Caroline Marohasy, Brad McMurray, Jack Henry, Evert McQueen, Christopher Sommers. Bryan Probets, Steve Tandy

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Plot: Christian is a divorced father grieving over the recent death of his daughter, only to be pushed over the edge when he receives a particularly nasty porn video through the post, featuring his recently deceased daughter, whose death it would seem is connected to this tape. Fuelled by rage, Christian sets out on a violent revenge fuelled roadtrip, to find the men behind the tape.

Review: From the outset this film might seem like so many of the other disposable by the numbers revenge thrillers of late, especially as it opens with Christian introducing one of the men, whom we can only assume is responsible for his daughters death, to the business end of a crowbar as Director Kastrissios films it all with an unflinching eye as the blows rain home while he goes about his crude and amateurish method of interrogation, yet what Kastrissios has created here is in fact a thoughtfully plotted and grimly brutal thriller, which despite the plot, coming from what is honestly being pretty well trodden ground, having been reworked numerous times since the godfather of relative retribution movies “Get Carter” (1971) perfected the blue print, spawning unintentionally a running theme between these films, who frequently have a link in some way to the porn industry, which continues right up to the equally noteworthy “Princess” (2006) in which a former missionary hunts down those responsible for his porn star sisters demise, yet despite this all being familiar territory Kastrissios still manages to bring something new to the game, through some stylish editing and original shocks as it manages to rise above just being another torture porn title, as he avoids just going for cheap shocks over substance.

Another point worth certainly noting with this film would be that unlike so many other titles in the genre, this particular road trip of revenge, on which Christian finds himself on is never shown as bringing him any form of joy or happiness, with the path of revenge being shown as being a lonely and isolated one, while it’s also clear that he isn’t getting any kind of pleasure out of having to resort to the primitive and brutal means he does, to find out the required information he needs, while at the same time clearly seeing no other way of finding closure to his daughters death, as he shows no quarms about resorting to such means while frequently being shown as being constantly emotionally numb, frequently carving his arms in a bid to feel anything atoll, as Kastrissios attempts to create with this film a study of how grief can affect us, rather than just focusing purely on blind hate and revenge, which is traditionally the more popular route for a film of this kind. Still its really only though through Alice (Marohasy), that he finds truly finds a purpose in life again, for although they might both be lost souls, he still in someway feels he can help her, becoming almost like a surrogate parent figure to her, while in turn Alice seems to help him to retain what few shreds of humanity he still maintains, as he only become increasingly drawn into a world were revenge is all that matters. This relationship could easily be compared to that of Travis and Iris in “Taxi Driver” (1976) and whom Travis faces numerous bad guys to rescue at the films climax, in the much the same way we see here, in one of the more less plausible moment, as Christian goes truly postal on the now disposable minions, who stand between him and Alice, who it by this point is portrayed as Christians sole hope of salvation, from this world of violence and bloodshed he has now created for himself.

Still if one thing is clear though after watching this film, it would be that Kastrissios is a director who loves a metaphor, seeing how he names our antihero the biblical name of “Christian”, while keeping his methods of dispatch clearly Old Testament, while reworking his day job of being in pest control, with the pests now the human scum who murdered his daughter, even the title portrays him as this apocalyptic figure his is coming after these men and bringing all kinds of hell with him, as he drives through the outback, with his white van replacing the white steed of death. True these might seem like Kastrissios is trying to hammer home the message regarding Christians quest for revenge, that he’s not necessarily a bad man, but rather a man trying to restore the balance in his life and while the almost continuous stream of killings, verges towards becoming tiresome, especially when he runs out of back story to fill in the gaps in Christians back story.

The violence if anything is certainly creative here, with the some noteworthy moments involving not only fish hooks being attached one guys testicles, but also finally answering the question of why it’s not advisable to stick a bicycle pump in your penis as another man can safely account for here in scenes equally comparable to the leg crossing moments of torture seen in "Hard Candy" (2005). It’s also worth nothing that although the majority of fights frequently verge on the side of ridiculous especially during the finale, were Christian proves pretty spritely for a middle aged man as he is frequently shown taking on much younger and seemingly fitter opponents and winning, though these fights are not beautifully choreographed brawls, but instead shot with a very raw and realistic edge, as they frequently break into floored grapples, usually followed by the introduction of a blunt object of some description, for which Christian is nothing if not creative, especially when it comes to turning his surrounding into potential weapons, even though the majority of his kills are devised from the everyday tools of his trade, as he manages to find a number of increasingly sadistic ways of utilising them. Still the majority of the violence, especially the more graphic moments are implyed rather than shown, which no doubt is for the best and keeps the film from becoming to grimey, while ensure that it's not just written off as yet another torture porn style movie.

I really want to like this film more, but it actually suffers from trying to overdo the revenge aspects of this film as strange as that might sound, this is especially true when you look at the body count as it seems that Christian is working his way through the production crew of an indie feature than a grimy porn film, with the amount of people on his revenge list and it's this almost conveyor belt like experience of revenge that detracts strongly from the film overall, even though there are some touching moments between Christian and Alice, by the time the big evil of the film has shown up, it already feels far too overblown which although unusual to say about revenge films in general, were the higher the body count, the better the film, this is certainly not the case here and it's this slip in focus from Kastrissios, which stops the film from being a great film, rather than merely a good film, especially when it's not really giving the audience anything that they havn't seen before, with perhaps the exception of revenge methods, were this film is certainly nothing short of original in that respect.

Return To Savage Beach

2010-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

Title: Return to Savage Beach
Director: Andy Sidaris
Released: 1998
Staring: Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregón, Julie K. Smith, Shae Marks, Marcus Bagwell, Cristian Letelier, Carrie Westcott, Paul Logan, Gerald Okamura, Kevin Eastman, Ava Cadell

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: When the ladies of L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) recover a stolen computer disk containing the location of a hidden treasure trove, it’s a race against time to find it before the evil Rodrigo Martinez (Obregón) and his ninja henchmen do.

Return to Savage Beach
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Review: Honestly this is the kind of movie I tend to avoid reviewing, largly because of being the kind of person who gets embarrassed by my neighbours kid, loudly announcing that she wears a bra, so who really knows how writing about a film which is essentially sleazy trash will go, but then I guess the enjoyment of this film is pretty the same as that which comes with equally guilty pleasures such as “Baywatch” and the majority of Russ Meyer's movies, who coincidently is the one director who Sidaris certainly has the most in common with, for as Meyer's had a very obvious obsession with large breasted ladies, Sidaris has with “Playmate centrefolds” and “Penthouse Pets”, who he casted in his “Triple B” movies AKA “Bullets, Bombs and Babes”, a series of B-movies he made with his wife Arlene serving as his production partner and of which this would be the last of the series, while Sidaris was also renown for pioneering what he called “The Honey Shot”, were the camera cuts to close up shots of cheerleaders and pretty girls in the crowd, during his work as a director of sports coverage.

So to to this film, which as to be expected for a film featuring a bunch of centrefold models and other random B-movie actors, the plotting really is nothing to really write home about, especially as it’s pretty much none existent with the few scraps of actual plotting, are padded out with a mixture of overblown action sequences, gratuitous nudity and the occasional spattering of softcore sex scenes, which honestly will either spell out fun times, or will just confirm with those few plot elements, that this isn’t the movie for you. Now if you liked what you just read then there really is some cheesy fun to be had with this movie, which although it won’t be winning any awards it’s still a fun ride with a definite early 90’s / late 80’s vibe to it, which made it all the more surprising to find out how recent it actually was released.

Despite the limited budget, the cast all appear to be having fun playing secret agent, as the girls run around in a variety of skimpy outfits and on occasion nothing at all, while the two sole male members of the team Doc (Logan) and J. (Letelier) essentially do the male equivalent, as they seem to frequently misplace their shirts or go with the open shirt look, proving I guess in a way that Sidaris is an equal opportunities kind of director, with Letelier even sporting a comical looking medallion, which is never a good look anyway. Logan who can be found more recently featuring in various films being churned out by “The Asylum” such as “Mega Pirahna” (2010) and here once again is on top B-movie action hero form, really pulling off the fight sequences convincingly, while possibly being the best actor of the bunch as he puts on his typical gruff exterior, while generally kicking a fair amount of ass, while the ladies generally give the kind of performance that would not look out of place on an episode of Baywatch, which this whole film is essentially an extended episode of, just with more nudity and explosions. Still to many of the cast together in the same scene and their mediocre acting skills become painful obvious, as the laughable attempt at a tense bomb deactivation truly highlights

Backing up this elite crime fighting force is a colourful bunch of supporting characters including Sexologist and informant Ava (Cadell), who uses her innuendo laden horoscopes to guide the agents in the field, making her a kind of sexed up version of the D.J in “The Warriors (1979), while also being assisted by Harry the cat who is bizarrely enough played by Kevin Eastman, who is probably better known for being one half the creative team, behind the cash cow which was “Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles”, though really no idea how he ended up in this movie. To add further to this random cast of characters we also have the former wrestling crime boss Warrior, played here by ex WCW wrestler Marcus “Buff” Bagwell, aswell as Fu (Okamura) who looks like a Martial arts mentor and serves only to show off some kung fu skills and provide the setup for Willow’s (Strain) trademark “Book em Fu!” quote.

Obregón who is on bad guy duties here, as what only be assumed is supposed to be a columbian drug lord, is in many ways Sidaris’s version of Rami’s Bruce Campbell, especially seeing how he appears in nearly all of Sidaris’s films and here, spends the movie wearing a phantom of the opera style mask, while also having an army of Ninja’s (well three atleast) for no discernable reason it would seem other than he can, yet it is also never explained why they also have more of a tendency to use guns, than anything really resembling ninjitsu skill, with the exception of one fight in which they attempt to show off some kung fu skills, which predictably enough ends badly, much like any bad guy who is stupid enough to stand next to anything remotely explosive, as they are ultimately guaranteed to die via explosion, or rather their badly stuffed dummy version is anyway. Still when it came to the big final showdown, I was hardly expecting the Scooby doo ending which essentially get here, which confused me enough, until the end credits began to roll, to actually realise that I never got the big showdown, but instead the got not only a Scooby doo ending, but also the super happy ending aswell, which certainly if anything makes this film quite original for actually trying to pull something so ballsy off.

The action scenes are all pretty entertaining to watch and rise above the B-movie budget that Sedaris is working with, as he also manages to craft a few great original moments, including a couple involving the creative use of an exploding RC car, which although telegraphed from a mile off, still prove entertaining to watch, with Sedaris milking his explosions with the heavy use of slo-mo, which thankfully he avoids putting into any of the fight scenes, avoiding one of the common pitfalls numerous Action B-movies tend to fall into, believing that it adds to the action, when essentially it usually only takes away from it.

It’s hard to really recommend it, other than perhaps a cheap thrill as the gratuitous nudity and soft core sex scenes, limit it’s audience to those seeking the aforementioned cheap thrills and those of you who hunt out films of these standard purely for their humorous value, so if any of what I’ve mention throughout this review holds any kind of appeal give it a burn, otherwise you might want to just this film in a more literal way.

Zack Snyder Gives Us A "Sucker Punch"

2010-11-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

Zack Snyder really has come a long way, from being at the helm of one of the more controversial horror remakes of recent years, as he burst onto the scene with his remake of the George Romero classic "Dawn of the Dead" (2004), which proved to be surprisingly good, with Romero himself admitting to have also been impressed by the film. Since that debut he has frequently proved himself to be one of the most exciting directors currently working today and certainly one of my favourite directors, as he quickly proved his debut was no fluke as he not only pulled off the War Porn epic "300" (2006) but then also pulled off the seemingly impossible by finally bringing "Watchmen" (2009) to the screen, after it had served a lifetime in development hell.

Now following up from his Nazi owl movie aka. "Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole" he is currently finishing off "Sucker Punch" which he is already teasing with, despite it's release date currently not due until March 2011, which sucks even more when it's safe to say the film looks absolutely stunning, as this latest trailer shows.

The plot follows a young girl called "Baby Doll" (Emily Browning), who is sent to a mental institution by her evil stepfather, she soon finds herself retreating into an alternative reality, as a way of coping with her situation, while envisioning a plan to escape.

This is the film I'm most excited about seeing at the moment, since first stumbling upon the trailer and amazing promo art, which you can enjoy below, but already this film has all the makings of a must see, especially as Snyder seems set to take us on a Tarantino style genre mash up, as he well and truly lets his creativity run wild, as I think is pretty well illustrated with the trailer and personally I can't wait.

Voyage To The Planet of Prehistoric Women

2010-11-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

Title: Voyage To The Planet of Prehistoric Women
Director: Peter Bogdanovich
Released: 1968
Staring: Mamie Van Doren, Mary Marr, Paige Lee, Gennadi Vernov, Georgi Tajkh, Vladimir Yemelyanov

Rating: 2 / 5

Plot: Astronauts landing on Venus encounter dangerous exotic creatures and almost meet some sexy Venusian women who like to sunbathe in hip-hugging skin-tight pants and seashell bras.

Review: Sitting down to watch this film I would be lying if the synopsis (shown above) which showed on the TV guide, didn’t hold some appeal and honestly I wasn’t expecting anything much from this film, above it perhaps being a fun camp B-movie, only to find myself sadly disappointed in pretty much the same way I was after watching “Bride of the Gorilla” (1951). Okay that might be a little harsh, especially as it certainly wasn’t as bad as that film and this disappointment, seemed to stem mainly for how nothing really happens, with the film quickly boiling down a handful of interesting sequences, which are then sloppily edited together, though this could also largely stem from the fact that the film originally started out as the Russian sci-fi romp “Planeta Bur” (1962), only to be dubbed and edited for the American market, under the title “Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet” with additional footage of Basil Rathbone and Faith Domergue being inserted, in a similar way that footage of Raymond Blurr as an American reporter was inserted into the American release of “Godzilla” (1956) with Blurr bizarrely enough reprising this role (with added Psychic powers) in the hideous American cut of “The Return of Godzilla” (1984) released as “Godzilla 1985” (1985). The footage from “Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet” has now been edited into this film, removing the footage of Rathbone and Domergue and replacing it with footage of the scantily clad inhabitants of Venus, while Director Bogdanovich provides a running narration, portraying one of the cosmonauts, recollecting the whole adventure, while also throwing in footage from fellow space oddity “Nebo Zovyot” (1960) which also suffered some creative editing, as it was turned into “Battle Beyond The Sun” (1960) by then aspiring young director Francis Ford Coppola, working under the pseudonym “Thomas Colchart”. No doubt the borrowing of footage from this film, is yet another attempt to add some meat to the picture and maybe convince the audience that they are not just paying to see the same film, just now with added hot chicks.

The plot of this film it can safely be said is almost as skimpy as the actresses are dressed, with the Cosmonauts on a rescue mission to locate two of their missing comrades who have crashed onto the planet, encountering when they get there, a wide variety of strange alien life, however due to the film being a mismash of mixed footage they never actually meet the titular Prehistoric women (bummer), though seeing how they butcher anything that they come into contact with, it was probably for the best, seeing how intergalactic genocide, hardly spells out good times.

Still this film does feature some classic sci-fi design work, with the Cosmonaut suits having that great goldfish bowl design while their version of “Robbie the Robot” known simply as John, not only looking a lot more impressive than Robbie, but also proving handier, than just being able to source booze on obscure planets and providing general comic relief. The other noteworthy point about this team is their space car, which I’m yet to figure out how they managed the really convincing hover effects; no honestly it really has me stumped.

The Prehistoric women, who for some reason are never given an actual name don’t really contribute a great deal to the film, as they lounge around on the rocky beach, communicating telepathically with other, while occasionally pretending to be mermaids when Bogdanovich, feels the audience might be getting tired of watching them do the same thing, while their telepathic nature which seems to stretch soles to just communicating with each other, bizarrely enough actually works to the films advantage,even more so when you can see how these girls seems to find just doing the limited amount of tasks they are given challenging enough, without the added hassle of them trying to convincing read their lines. Still their main role it would seem is to react horrified to the actions of Cosmonauts who, unwittingly also manage to kill the pterodactyl type creature which they had been worshiping as a god, though again thanks to the footage mash up, they never actually do anything about this other than grumble about their god being killed, still by the end of the film you get the impression that these girls will pretty much worship anything, they find the slightest bit strange or unusual, making their religious views fluid to say the least.

The soundtrack is quite oddly haunting in this film, especially when combined with the fog covered landscapes, this mixture of choral and howling sounds also being highly reminiscent of the opening theme to “The Devil’s Rain” (1975), which made it only the more surprising to find it used in this film, as it almost feels like most of the footage shown here, that it has been lifted like from another film, yet for some reason it still works, providing the film with a mysterious atmosphere to the film, however at times it does feel kind of intrusive and left me wanting to hear something a little more orchestral, especially during the slight spattering of dramatic moments, which the film has.

The Cosmonaut adventures are fun times even if the added footage just prove to largely distracting throughout, but when these guys are left to get one with encountering strange creatures and exploring the planet, it is largely fun stuff even if their intergalactic diplomacy leave a lot to desired, seeing how they kill anything that they encounter, rather than trying to find out anything about this planet. Still cut away all the extra footage or better yet just watch “Planeta Bur” and it’s like a Saturday morning serial, so I guess it’s the combination of footage from so many places, which left me feeling so disconnected with this film, aswell as the fact it truly feels that it would be more at home, in a double feature as the warm up film ideally followed by one of Doug Mclure’s better films like “Warlords of Atlantis” (1978) or “At the Earths Core (1976), which I guess is probably the best way of watching it, as to watch it one its own, will certainly leave you feeling like something’s missing.