The Shallows

Title: The Shallows

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Released: 2016

Starring: Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada, Brett Cullen, Sedona Legge, Angelo Jose Lozano Corzo, Jose Manuel Trujillo, Pablo Calva, Diego Espejel, Janelle Bailey

Plot: Struggling to deal with the loss of her mother to cancer medical student Nancy (Lively) travels to the same secluded beach in Mexico her mother had visited. However when she is attacked by a large great white shark, she finds herself stranded 200 yards from the shore while being stalked by the relentless shark.

Review: Director Jaume Collet-Serra really is a director whose work its hard to place as while he’s given us films such as “Orphan” and “Non-Stop” he’s also the same director responsible for giving us the likes of “Goal 2: Living The Dream” and the “House of Wax” remake which so memorably was sold on the prospect of seeing Paris Hilton die. As such your never really sure what your going to get from him and while the concept and trailer for the film really gave it all the potential of being another disposable summer release this film thankfully really isn’t.

Stripping the film down to its key elements here Collet-Serra really crafts something surprisingly special as he seemingly knows that the real heart of the film lies in the battle between Nancy and the shark currently standing between her and the shore... and that’s essentially it. This is also what appealed to Lively who was drawn to the project when she saw the similarities between this film and her husband Ryan Reynolds “Buried”.

True it might be a big shark which continually torments Nancy but this at the same time this isn’t some gigantic creature with super intelligence, which makes this already miles better than the countless shark movies which have continually attempted and failed to top what Steven Spielberg achieved with “Jaws”. The shark here instead is designed with a much more natural behaviour for the most part with Collet-Serra really only letting it off the leash in the build up to the finale. As such the shark only attacks Nancy initially when she stumbles into its hunting ground, while her injuries only serve to maintain its interest in her.

Despite the fact that Blake Lively has hardly set my world on fire with her previous performances which always felt that she was getting by on just being the token pretty girl rather than anything resembling dramatic talent and yet she is fantastic here, especially when its a role that requires her to act by herself for about 90% of the film though she does get a seagull (nicknamed Steven Seagull by Lively) to chat with. While this sounds like kind of a drag here it actually works as we get scenes such as Nancy treating any time she has to perform first aid on herself like she is treating a patient, which sees her talking her way through each procedure which largely consist of short term solutions she can cobble together on the fly.

Seeing how Nancy only has her wet suit, jewellery and a strap from her obliterated surfboard to help her, its fascinating to see how she deals with a situation which only continues to get worse for her especially with the clock continually ticking down to high tide. This of course means we do get some cringy moments such as her pinning a leg wound together using earrings and her necklace and it surprised me to see how willing Lively was to play a character who is essentially brutalised by the elements for the film, especially when she does all her own stunt work here outside of the few moment of surfing which were handled by pro surfer Isabella Nichols who also taught Lively some of the surfing basics such as how to Wax the board and attach a leg rope to give it more of an air of authenticity.

Outside of the survival aspect of the story we also get brief asides to her family as her father questions her decision to drop out of medical school after her mothers death, while her younger sister only further cements the impression we get of her home life. We also get passing interactions with a pair of fellow surfers and her local guide which while they serve to provide potential saviours for her its soon clear that its going to fall to Nancy to get herself out of the situation.

By keeping the shark for the most part for the final quarter it really helps build a sense of creeping dread throughout the film. At the same time while it might be a CGI shark it is still miles ahead of the phoney looking CGI that the Asylum / Sci-fi have been lumbering their productions with and it makes for an effective threat by the production not skimping on this element, especially as we all know how a cheap effect can quickly deflate a production of any tension gained in its build up.

One of the big surprises of the 2016 release schedule this is a film certainly worth seeking out, especially for Shark movie fans left craving the same kind of thrills that “Deep Blue Sea” delivered. At the same time its tight plotting and brief run time stop it outstaying its welcome or becoming too outlandish.

Spring Breakers

Title: Spring Breakers

Director: Harmony Korine

Released: 2012

Starring: Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine

Plot: When Candy (Hudgens), Brit (Benson) and Cotty (Korine) decide to rob a restaurant in order to fund their spring break vacation to Florida it only marks the beginning of their downward spiral into a life of crime that the group soon find themselves in and one which devout Christian Faith (Gomez) soon also finds herself drawn into as she overlooks her friends actions and joins them on their trip to Florida. It is while in Florida though that the girls soon find themselves drawn into the crime ring of Russian rapper and wannabe gangster Alien (James Franco).

 

Review: What happens when a  former Disney Princess decide to break away from the house of mouse for good? Apparently they thrown themselves into a hedonistic mix of sex, drugs, crime spree’s and pink balaclava’s, or so it would seem with this latest offering from indie maverick Harmony Korine, which see's Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical 1-3) and Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place) Trashing their prom dresses to join Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine as a group of party loving college girls and lifelong friends who fall for the allure of crime and easy money.

Released under an onslaught of publicity stills of the female cast members in their bikini’s, this film seemingly had a blink and you miss it cinema release, meaning that it has taken an art society (yes they seemingly want to see young girls in bikini’s too) screening for me to eventually see this film*, which far from generated the kind of buzz I think the studio was expecting judging by the amount of publicity it was given ahead of its release. At the same time it is hard to place exactly what this film should be classed as seeing how at its heart it’s a crime thriller, yet director Korine still refuses to give up on his indie and experimental film making roots, as with the amount of bare flesh and drunken debauchery on show it would seem as if he has chosen to cross the film with a “Girls Gone Wild” video, while frequently shooting from the hip or like a stretched out and overly glossy music video. Korine though at this point in his career clearly knows films appeal to the few rather than the mainstream, even though this is miles closer to the mainstream than any of his previous films, it will no doubt still have all the feelings of a celluloid migraine for most movie goers.

Essentially re-rooting his breakout script for “Kids” (memorably directed by cinema’s l’enfant terrible Larry Clarke) from the poverty and grime of New York to the luminous bright lights and sun soaked beaches of Florida.  Like “Kids” the script feels largely improv, especially with Franco’s hip hop caricature Alien, who seems to embody the gangsta rap life style complete with glittering grill and cornrows in what is certainly an interesting look for Franco who is white as the driven snow and whom here continues his on going mission to rack to appear in as many surprising rolls as possible. Still here he certainly seems to be having a blast largely improving such a random character, who when not making his continual brags about money, guns or even having Scarface on repeat can be found frequently snarling out the words “Spring Breakkkk” and “Bitches” every other word. The girls meanwhile suffer from paper thin character development  to say the least, with Faith perhaps being the most developed of the foursome as we see her frequently being conflicted by the lure of the party life style and the desire to be a good Christian, with the film opening to her taking part in a youth Christian group (led by former TNA wrestler and founder Jeff Jarrett in a fun cameo appearance), while here she seems to be already questioning the mean of her faith, something which only further challenged when she arrives in Florida and finds herself amerced in the party lifestyle, especially as her friends are seemingly on a quest to keep the party going at no matter what cost.

While it might seem like stunt casting by using both Gomez and Hudgen’s here they prove themselves not afraid to act out of their comfort zone, especially in the case of Hudgen’s who continues on to break away from her clean cut image, having previously shown her feisty side in Zack Snyder’s cult favourite “Sucker Punch”, only kicks it up another notch here as one of the main instigators in the girls downward spiral. Sadly while all the girls might give adequate performances, there is still a sense of shallowness to the film, similar to how it ultimately portrays the so called Gangsta lifestyle and is only added to by the lack of development for any of their characters and essentially leaving them more often than not to play of their womanly charms than anything close to flexing their acting muscles.

The soundtrack is largely a mixture of electro / dance music by Skrillex with the occasional dash of gangster rap and while I can’t say that it really did much for me, it still worked well with the film, especially when Korine seems to be actively editing the film around the soundtrack, often giving it a glossy music video feel as a result, alas a music video featuring copious bouncing naked breasts and obscene alcohol consumption being shot in slow motion, but then isn’t this essentially what spring break is about…or so I gather coming from a English (and hence spring breakless) perspective.

While it might be easy to write this film off as being a lot of style and very little substance, Korine has still somehow managed to craft a film which is none the less engrossing, as he pulls a trick non to dismilar to the one Sofia Coppola did with “Lost in Translation”, although his execution is perhaps done with a more sleazier edge to it but this film like Coppola’s is one were essentially nothing really happens as Korine seems frequently to be just stringing together random scenes of improv and stylised violence alongside those of partying youths. However it is amongst these random scenes of excess and partying that we also get a number of memorable scenes including Alien playing a stripped down version of Brittany Spears’s “Everytime” on his poolside piano while Candy, Brit and Cotty dance around while welding shotguns and dressed in their trademark pink balaclavas which at the same time make this far from an unsatisfying viewing experience if ultimately a hollow one.

*This is an archive piece originally published at "Diamonds In Da Sky", apologies for confusion this might have caused,

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Title: Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Director: Andy Sidaris
Released: 1987
Starring: Ronn Moss, Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Rodrigo Obregon, Cynthia Brimhall, Patty Duffek, Wolf Larson, Lorry Green, Peter Bromilow

Plot: When two DEA agents are killed on a private Hawaiian island, Agents Donna (Speir) and Taryn (Carlton) soon intercept as part of their investigation a delivery of diamonds belonging to drug lord Seth Romero who plans to flood Hawaii with drugs by taking over the island of Molokai.

 

Review: The second film in director Andy Sidaris’s “Triple B” series (Boobs, Bullets and Bombs) of loosely attached films in which Sidaris casts Playmates / Penthouse Pets as the leads in his series of over the top action films with this film being one which I recently got to discuss on the “Exploding Helicopter” podcast. Now If you’ve ever seen any of Sidaris’s other films you will already know what to expect going into this film, as Sidaris essentially picked up were Russ Meyer left off as he shares Meyer’s love for amply breasted ladies, moulding his films around this love by casting them as his feisty leads in these otherwise by the book 80’s action fests with a healthy side order of cheese.

The plot is as paper thin as it is nonsensical with Sidaris padding out the plot with a healthy dose of nudity and softcore sex scenes, aswell as a random sub-plot involving a seemingly invincible killer snake. This however does not stop it from being a fun ride and all the more unsurprising that it has more recently gained a real cult following, if especially for some of the more truly bonkers scenes including the much discuss assassination attempt, by an assassin riding a skateboard and while holding a blow up sex doll!

While the girls are more than capable of handling things on their own, the girls are joined by fellow agents Rowdy (Moss) who can seemingly can only use a bazooka to hit anything (by his own confession no less) making me wonder what exactly the entrance requirements are for their agency, while Jade (Dimond) brings some killer kickboxing skills. Both 80’s action hero cut outs, yet still make for an amusing double act whenever they are left to their own devices or have one of the numerous attractive ladies to distract them.

The action scenes are one of the main selling points and other than the appeal of gratuitous nudity; Sidaris crafts several great action scenes which are so amusingly over the top it’s hard to not use these moments to see past the numerous other flawed parts of the film. After all what other film sees a bazooka being showcased as having so many uses, including being used at point blank range with zero effect on the shooter. Such leaps in realism are scattered throughout the film with the real jump the shark moment coming when Rowdy takes out a guard using a razorblade Frisbee in yet another standout moment. Still this is also a world where the characters have movie posters on the wall of the directors other films hanging on the wall.

The acting on show here is surprisingly better than you would expect from a cast which largely consists of glamour models. This is not to say that its Oscar worthy, but certainly its not being hammed up, with the general feeling being that the cast and director were genuinely trying to make a good movie, something only further reinforced by the introduction provided by Sidaris and Julie Strain, even Sidaris spends most of it complimenting the looks of his leading ladies.

True this might be abit of a cornball action movie, with more than a handful of outlandish moments, but then this really is all part of its charm and makes it only the easier to understand its cult appeal. This isn’t award winning film making but at the same time it’s a world apart from the intentionally bad efforts churned out by the likes of “The Asylum”, while it more than lives up to its triple b promise, with enough boobs, explosions and gunfire to keep things intresting. So watch it with an open mind and a few like-minded friends and it’s a blast. So buy a ticket and just enjoy the ride.

Bikini Bandits Experience

Title: Bikini Bandits Experience

Director: Steve Grasse

Released: 2002

Starring: Maynard James Keenan, Dee Dee Ramone, Jello Biafra, Corey Feldman, Peter Grasse, Larry McGearty, Bret Reilly, Heather-Victoria Ray, Heather McDonnell, Betty San Luis, Cynthia Diaz, Robyn Bird, Clark O’Donnel

Plot: Following the Bikini Bandits a four strong gang of bikini loving, muscle car driving and machine gun welding bad asses, as they embark on a series of ever more random adventures, which see them being sent to hell and even traveling though time.

Okay I couldn't find a trailer, but this is pretty much what the whole film is like

Review: Honestly I originally had zero plans to review this film, happy to write it off as another zero which failed to turn out more. However since that original viewing something strange happened as I found myself still thinking about the film and frequently finding myself talking about it to other cult cinema fans, about this film which is honestly largely a horrible mess, yet at the same time projects an aura that somewhere in this hour long jumble of ideas and random plots there was something special lurking under the titillating and confused surface.

Originally the Bikini Bandits were launched as a series of short films via the now defunct Atomfilms.com and would be there that the series slowly gained a cult following of sorts as the girls embarked on a series of increasingly random adventures the majority of which have now been edited into this film. At the same time they have also been padded out with new shorts which see director Grasse taking stabs at American consumerism via home shopping commericals for the fictional conglomerate Gmart, aswell as going off on further random tangents with the beyond creepy “Morning Yoga” and the seemingly shot on the cuff “Zembo” segments were a fez wearing Zembo basically harasses unsuspecting members of the public about if they know who the Bikini Bandits are. Needless to say with the exception of the Gmart segments which also features a John Waters Alike who along with his fellow host stop them from seeing like yet more filler thanks to their tone perfect performances.

Due to the film essentially being a best of collection of those original shorts loosely tied together with increasingly random filler, the film is unquestionably disjoined to say the least and makes for an experience similar to watching TV while your ADD suffering friend frequently flicks through the channels. At the same time the various misadventures the bandits find themselves on haven’t been developed beyond their original shorts so hence most of the adventures revolve around the girls finding themselves in an interesting situation before Grasse turns it into yet another excuse for cheap thrills as the stories are often suddenly ended with the girls engaging in some form of Andy Sidaris inspired slap and tickle or tormenting whatever male character happens to be nearby. Of course such antics are not only kept to the Bandit segments as they also make up a series of mock adverts for muscle cars, which generally consist of bikini clad ladies welding guns and draping themselves over the car. Still if this wasn’t enough titillation for you already, we also get the “Imports Suck” segement which consists solely of bikini clad ladies taking sledgehammers to a car….still whatever floats your boat right. How much of the film was inspired by the films of Andy Sidaris who essentially pioneered the Girls and guns film with the likes of “Return to Savage Beach” and “Hard Ticket To Hawai” its hard to say especially when it also seems to be a questionable homage to as well as grindhouse cinema, if perhaps with none of the style that Rodriguez and Tarantino brought with their own homages which kick-started the Neo-grindhouse genre.

The only developed story we do get being “Bikini Bandits Go To Hell” thanks to its original multipart structure which sees the girls being the girls being tasked by Giant penis codpiece wearing Satan (Keenan) to deflower the Virgin Mary or face being forced to watch 80’s favourite Corey Feldman dance for all eternity. It is probably around this point were most people will choose if they stick with this film or not, especially when Grasse doesn’t seem to give much a damn about who he offends, as he frequently it would seem is aiming to offend whenever possible. This in turns leads me to my main peeve with the this film in its frequent use of the word retard, with the apparent thinking that the mental handicapped make for the best source of amusement, especially with two of the stories revolving around such characters. The film though is always at its strongest when playing things straight and not aiming for such crude stabs at comedy, while these misfire attempts at comedy can't help but bring to mind "The Underground Comedy Movie" which was yet another underground series turned into a feature with equally questionable results.

Surprisingly for such a T&A focused film the performances aren't overly bad, even if the girls are hardly being forced to do anything overly challenging performance wise, which can’t be said for most of the male cast, who often end up coming off like crude and overplayed but then the majority are played by Grasse’s brother Peter so chances are that Grasse was saving budget by having him play so many roles. Rounding out the cast though we do also get a number of interesting musical cameos with Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan really giving a standout performance as Satan, while Dee Dee Ramone makes for an interesting choice to play the pope, especially as he doesn’t exactly seem to know where he is as he bumbles from through his lines. Elsewhere we also get Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra appearing as a sleazy porn producer which sadly sees him majorly underused.

The most interesting casting choice here though is Corey Feldman appearing here as, well err…himself. What makes his appearance here so interesting is just how clear it is that he had no clue what he was signing up for, which is only made the clearer when Grasse includes what appears to be footage of an unsuspecting Feldman slagging off the film and making comments about what a piece of trash it is and how he’s been made to look like a joke. True it’s hard to fault his reasoning especially when his contributions are so random and range from him busting some Michael Jackson style movies to having a drag race with an overweight Mexican masked wrestler. However when combined with the rest of the film it hardly seems out of place especially with the logic that this film runs on. On the whole though it is hard to tell if his casting was out of an obsession with his 80's glory days and that having cast him realised that they had nothing for him to do, of if it was to truly see what they could get away making his current career stalled self do.

Despite running for a mere 60 minutes the experience does feel a lot longer, yet it is hard to fault that there is still something about this film, in much the same way that there is with films like “The Room” and “Boardinghouse”. True it might seem like it is intentionally trying to emulate the so bad its good style of those films, but this film has enough weird ideas and general titillation to make it the sort of film that’s fun to dig out and maybe freak out your friends with.