Thursday, 13 May 2010

Elwood's Random Time Wasters: Forming My Own Badass Team

So it seems like this summer is turning into the year that the groups dominated, the summer blockbuster field, what with The A Team, The Expendendables and The Losers all hitting the cinema screens, while Marvel continue thier casting for "The Avengers" the piece de la resistance of thier studio venture, which so far has allowed them to not only bring their comic book ranks to the screen, but also finally allowed for those same characters to cross over in film form, making thier world all the more real.
Still with all these groups being formed, I thought it would be fun to create my own super group, formed out of my favourite characters seen in other films, in much the same way that "The Avengers" is formed out of characters from various series, such as Iron man and The Incredible Hulk, to form an ulitmate fighting force. The only rules I set myself were that each character had to fit into one of the roles, which are commonly found in these groups, as lets face it all though the faces and attitudes change, the roles are always the same.

For my team name I'm gonna go with "The Bastards" seeing how they are all fatherless children and lets face it I doubt subtly is any of thier specialities.

The Boss: Seth Gecko (From Dusk Till Dawn)
Memorable quote: I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard.

Why: Seth is a born leader even though he won't admit it, plus the fact he will only take on this role if he sees it as a why of benefiting himself, which why he’s more than happy to team up with the family whose RV he’s hijacked and driven to Mexico, aswell as a rag tag bunch of bikers and truckers, to fend off the vampire hordes and then going on his own way once he’s found a way to move on without them.
Still always fearless and quick with a snappy remark, let alone his resourcefulness (Pulmatic stake anyone) he’s the perfect to lead a rag tag bunch in battle.

Other choices: Sheldon Jeffrey Sands (Once Upon A Time In Mexico), Ed Moseby (Domino)

The Muscle – Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th)
Memorable quote: .....

Why: When I say Jason I’m not just talking about just any of his appearances, but rather the Jason we saw in “Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood” which was the first time that Kane Hodder donned the trademark hockey mask, finally giving the series an actor to be associated with the role, in the same way that Robert Englund will always be Nightmare on Elm St’s Freddy, with Hodder bring a raging bull style to the character, which is exactly the style that I want the muscle of the team to have, with it being less about being subtle but instead more about pure brutality.
One of the main selling points of having Jason on the team, is not only his freakish strength, or his ability to turn almost anything into a weapon of death, but his ability to survive anything, which it’s true might have a lot to do with him being a zombie, but listening to the dizzying amount of ways they’ve tried to kill him, listed at the start of “Jason X” really highlights how tough he is.
Okay true having a homicidal manic on your team, might not seem like the best of ideas, especially seeing how it makes it so much harder to rescue people, when this member of the team just wants to kill everyone, but hey “The Avengers” have the hulk, who lets face it isn’t the most rationale comic character in the world, so for that reason I’m taking Jason.

Other choices: Danny Trejo (Anything), Marv (Sin City), Pvt. Vasquez (Aliens)

Resources / Intel – Ray Elwood (Buffalo Soldiers)
Memorable quote: Three things I love about Germany: my Mercedes-Benz, no speed limit on the autobahn and a black market for anything I can get my hands on.

Why: When it comes to making the most of a situation, Ray Elwood is a certified master, having been drafted to Berlin during the cold war, he fights the boredom by spending his time managing to turn a profit from anything which isn’t nailed down it would seem, while at the same time knowing everything which is happening around the base, to allow him to constantly stay ahead of his superiors.
It would seem that he can charm his way out of almost any situation he finds himself in, even finding a way of remaining cool when he is forced to shoot up his own car, as one of the mind games being played by the new First Sergeant, sent in to investigate the less legal activities happening at the base.
Still if you want to know what is happening or need to find something in even the most backwatered town, he’s the guy whose gonna do it.

Other choices: Brendan Frye (Brick), Rosarch (Watchmen)

The Madcap One: Tank Girl (Tank Girl)
Memorable quote: This comet came crashing into the earth. BAM! Total devastation. No celebrities, no cable TV, *no water*! It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze into the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.

Why: This one was a hard choice, especially seeing how there are so many memorable crazies in the cinematic landscape, but my choice was also largely influenced by my wife’s comment that all these groups, usually only had one token female character, along with my obsession with Lori Petty, who just plays the oddball role so well, with “Tank Girl” (1995) being a real calling card for her, but then was their any other possible choice for the tank driving, firepower loving, mutant kangaroo snogging hellion, especially one whose mental condition is never really explained either in the comics or the film version.
Like so many of the team she can hold her own in a fight, while also owning a heavily customised tank, with more firepower strapped onto this one vehicle than, most small armies can muster, so if you want someone to bring the noise, she’s gonna be your gal.

Other Choices: Sgt. Oddball (Kelly’s Heroes), Raoul Duke (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), Jeffery Goines (Twelve Monkeys)

The Techie: Kate Libby / Acid Burn (Hackers)
Memorable quote: I hope you don't screw like you type.

Why: Tough females are a hard act to pull off walking the fine line before being seen as overly butch or generally irritating usually accompanied with an I hate men act. But Kate Libby, under her hacker alter ego Acid Burn, is more about proving that she is more than capable of holding her own against the boys, having scratched out a place as one of the top hackers, whose world view is a mixture of hacker beliefs, combined with the teaching of her feminist writer mother

“God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.”

Still the cyber world is her playground and the one thing which gets her fired up more than, her abilities being challenged is the challenge of beating an unbreakable system or one of her fellow hackers as seen, when she takes on Crash Override in a game of one hacker one-upmanship.

Other Choices: Kaylee (Serenity), Dex DearBorn (Sky Captain & The World of Tommorow)
So there you have it, my rag tag bunch of misfits and badasses and it would be intresting to see what you guys and gals out there in blogger land can come up with, so allow to throw down the gaunlet to you all and lets see what you can come up with, send me the link and let the cross blogging begin.

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