Six Truly WTF? Moments

So many times I have been left astounded by some of the choices made by directors on just what they expect and audience to buy into, even more so when these moments leave you no choice but to question what the f**k? you have just seen? So to celebrate these shall we say questionable directing choices here are my personal top 6.

Godzilla flies (Godzilla Vs. Hedorah)



Over the years since the Godzilla first took a stroll through Tokyo, there have been a number of questionable moments which have appeared throughout the series, from attempts to give Godzilla a voice (Godzilla Vs. Gigan), lumbering him with a son who strangely resembles grey lumpy mash, let alone the meddling and inserting of random plot devices (let alone reusing Raymound Blurr) which several films saw on the US release. Still what makes this one stand out is the sheer randomness of watching Godzilla use his radioactive fire breath to enable him to fly, a moment so surreal that even the DVD chapter title has it marked as “Something You Don’t See Everyday” though it would be also be something that we never saw again…unlike Minila who continues to frequently blight the series and delight my wife.

Van Damme Vs. Ice Hockey Mascot (Sudden Death)



While Van Damme might not be renown for being the sanest of action heroes and prone the occasional random ramble as a quick glance at his interviews in the past only seem to provide further evidence to, while the films he choose to make towards the latter end of his career are frequently full of WTF?!? moments, though none are perhaps as special as this one. True this isn’t just some random mascot abuse but rather one of the terrorists disguised as the loveable mascot, but this doesn’t make it all the less comical let alone making you wonder how they ever thought that this fight scene would actually work. To his credit Van Damme does is best to try and work with such a clumsy opponent, showcasing a few favourites, but I would be hard pushed to say that you ever feel that he is ever threatened at any point and kind of highlighted the state of his career at this point.

Gamera gymnastics (Gamera vs. Guiron)

 

While Gamera might not be as instantly recognisable as fellow Kajiu legend Godzilla to most folks, there is no denying that the fire breathing space turtle still has his fans, so much so that many Kajiu fans are still holding out for a showdown between the two titans of the genre. Like Godzilla though Gamera has had his own share of random moments like Barugon’s rainbow attack (Gamera vs. Barugon) or the redneck voice over option which is bizarrely included as a bonus feature on the dvd for “Gamera 2: Attack of Legion”. Still the best of these has to be this classic and truly bonkers moment, which is only added to by the random dance Gamera seems to be doing when he gets hit in his paws by Guirons’ ninja star attack, but then it’s moments like this which remind me why I love this genre so much.

The Dead or Alive Opening (Dead or Alive)



It is said that a film needs to capture the attention of its audience and establish its tone with its first fifteen minutes, which its safe to say that director Miike Takashi has no problems doing with the first of his “Dead or Alive” trilogy, which throws more violence and shocking imagery into its opening that most films manage in their run time, as he truly sets the scene for his Triad drama and what is to come, which he does in a stunning montage of sex, violence, drugs, guns and noodles, all while showcasing his highly unique style which made him such a standout name during the revival of interest in Asian cinema. Even more so when western audiences were hit with the double punch of this film and “Audition” and certainly helped pave the way for the likes of Park Chan-Wook’s “Vengeance Trilogy” and the truly random films of Shinya Tsukamoto. True there are a number of more shocking scenes in the film itself which I won't spoil for anyone yet to watch it with the ending also being a contender for this list, but it’s the balls to hit his audience with this memorable and frequently shocking opening sequence, which is so self-contained that you can’t help but wonder what the hell it is that you have just witnessed.

Matrix Cockfight (The City of Lost Souls)



While it might not be one of his better films, this lesser seen film from Takashi Miike might be largely hit and miss, but one thing it does get right is this scene which seems to have been included almost as a random whim by Miike, especially when it seems to only be included for local colour and perhaps feeling that a real cockfight might be alittle extreme even for him, instead puts a fun spin on things in one of the better moments of the film.

Bulletproof huh? How about Rocketproof! (Death Wish 3)



After the original “Death Wish” it’s safe to say the series soon began to let the realism slip, while with part 3 it was just sheer thrown out of the window, as Charles Bronson returned for another round of vigilante justice despite now perhaps being older than he should be for such antics yet apparently not too old to follow it up with another two films. Still watched with a sense of humour there is a lot of fun to be had with film, especially as it escalates to its totally over the top shootout finale, were seemingly every one has a gun as the harassed (and mainly OAP) residents of the apartment block take up arms against the gang members. Director Michael Winner though still manages to top this madness with this jaw dropping WTF? moment which I love to show friends, especially the uninitiated just to see their reaction to this scene, somthing often followed by a need to rewind and watch it again, which I can’t really blame them for as it is such a great ending and the perfect footnote for Winner’s involvement in the series as he handed over the directorial reigns to J. Lee Thompson for part 4.

So there you have my choices, but what would make your own list?

Gamera Vs. Barugon / War Of The Monsters

Title: Gamera Vs. Barugon / War of the Monsters
Director: Shigeo Tanaka
Released: 1966

Staring: Kojiro Hongo, Kyôko Enami, Yuzo Hayakawa, Takuya Fujioka, Kôji Fujiyama, Akira Natsuki, Yoshiro Kitahara, Ichirô Sugai, Bontarô Miake, Jutaro Hojo

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: A giant opal turns out to be an egg, which hatches into the monster Barugon who sets about wrecking havoc. Meanwhile Gamera is heading back to earth, having been released from his rocket prison.

Review: Now if you’ve found yourself looking at that great painted poster you might have found yourself thinking, wow this looks like quite an exciting looking movie, I mean right there on the cover we have Barugon being thrown by his tail! Well for those of us familiar with the concept of the painted movie poster (I.e: Don’t expect to see anything on the poster) you will probably not be surprised to know that, this film doesn’t have anything close to this in it, in fact it is just one of a number of misleading ideas that this film throws out there, with the most glaring being Gamera, who in all honesty seems kind of lost with his appearance here, which totals all of about 15 minutes and could easily have been edited out, making what would essentially have been a better monster movie.

Gamera for those of you not in the know is a giant fire breathing, flying turtle who in later entries in the series would become better known as being a "friend to children of the world", which is kind of surprising seeing how gory the Gamera films are as the monsters gush blood, making for an interesting contrast to the relatively blood free Godzilla movies, whose films it is almost impossible to not draw comparisons with when you look at the Gamera films. Still at this point in the series Gamera is still keen on trashing Japan, much like his fellow monsters, who he is supposed to be stopping, making it more of a Darwinian contest for territory and resources than anything resembling the monster smackdowns, which the later movies would become.

The main story involves a bunch of Jewel thieves and their quest to steal an Opel twice the size of a man’s fist, which their leader of sorts Hirta (Natsuki) a WW2 veteran hid in a cave, when he was stationed in New Guinea. Seeing how he is now unable to make the trip back to the cave, he recruits his brother Keisuke (Hongo) and his two friends, one of which being Omotura (Fujiyama) who has plans of his own for the Opel and is also the one responsible for the trouble the party encounter on their quest to retrieve the Opel, rather than them encountering a giant monster on route. It is soon pretty clear what a bastard Omotura really is, not only content to let his so called friends get killed by a giant scorpion, but also willing to bury one alive in a cave in. He is also willing to put the fate of Japan at risk, by attempting to steal the diamond lure which Karen and her fellow members of the black tribe (a tribe it would seem made up largely of blacked up Japanese actors), have supposedly used over the years to kill off Barugon’s ancestors. This storyline is interesting enough to keep the audiences attention, especially seeing how it takes up the first half of the film until Barugon hatches, when his egg is exposed to an infrared lamp’s rays, releasing a decidedly plastic looking and slime covered dinosaur.

Barugon is an interesting first opponent for Gamera, mainly because he is the first to highlight Gamera’s weakness for the cold, thanks to his extendable tongue which shoots out a freeze ray, while his back shoots out a rainbow death ray, which is certainly an interesting choice of attack, even more so when it is never explained why it has to look like a rainbow! Still due to Barugon’s freeze ray, Gamera get his ass truly handed to him within minutes of their first encounter with each other, leaving Gamera knocked out for most of the film, until he’s needed to finish off a heavily weakened Barugon at the film’s climax. It’s in this respect that this film in particular stands out from so many of the other “Kaiju” films, seeing how the military forces are actually pretty effective in their attempts to stop Barugon, which came as even more of a surprise to someone like myself he is more used to watching the military show up with impressive looking pieces of hardware, followed shortly afterwards by that said hardware exploding in a shower of pyrotechnics, which is not to say it doesn’t happen here aswell, it’s just that it actually does some real damage, than seeming like a distraction. Though this is also not to say that they don’t still manage to come up with some random ideas of solving their giant monster problem, with my personal favourite being to hang a giant diamond from a helicopter and have Barugon follow it, to the sea where he is expected to drown, which is kind of surprising seeing how he emerges from the sea to begin with, especially when you consider what a weakness water is to Barugon, who is also stopped at one point by it raining!

All in all it is an interesting entry in the Gamera series, criteria which it only just manages to scrape thorough, as I mentioned before he could have easily have been edited out of this film and just left it as a Barugon movie. Still it makes for a fun viewing while it lasts, even if the first half feels a little slow in places, meaning that the less dedicated amongst us will have no doubt switched off, long before Barugon has unleashed his first attack and in a way provides an idea of how the series could have gone, especially seeing how it is the only film without a child lead and lacking many of the Gamera trademarks which would appear in later films, which would see Gamera change from being a destructive monster into “The Guardian of the Universe”.

Random Film Moments #2 - Gamera Vs.Guiron

The Giant monster genre or Kaiju ( the Japanese word for "Strange Beast" ) as its more affectionately known to its fans, has over the years has given us numerous random moments, ever since Godzilla first went on a rampage through Tokyo back in 1954. However these classic films have often had some extremely random moments, so much so that they often truely defy belief with this weeks random moment being a prime example.

Taken from the 1969 Gamera movie "Gamera Vs. Guiron" which is part of the Shōwa Gamera series , I have to admit when I first saw this random moment, I had to actually rewind the tape, as I wasn't sure I'd seen what I thought I did, as you can see for yourself the reasons why will soon be clear.

Yes you did just watch a giant space turtle working the parallel bars, but strangely enough this kind of insanity is pretty common in alot of the early Kaiju movies, though most not as random as this particular scene it has to be said.

Personally I liked the landing the best, as he goes all out to finish with proper gymnastic style, which leaves you half expecting to see, a group of giant judges holding up scorecards. Gamera might be seen as many as a cash in on the popularity of Godzilla, but as I will go into no doubt in future reviews, the Gamera series has enough originality to hold it's own against the King of Monsters, but surely it's better to have twice the amount of Kaiju action than, just having one dominant series, still for the moment both series are currently in Mothballs, with Godzilla bowing out in 2004's "Godzilla - Final Wars" and Gamera's last appearance being the 2006 "Gamera the Brave", but with current popularity for both characters still high, there is nothing to say that either monster won't be stomping through Tokyo in the near future.