Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Title: Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

Director: Tim Burton

Released: 2016

Starring: Eva Green, Asa Butterfield, Chris O’Dowd, Allison Janney, Rupert Everett, Terence Stamp, Ella Purnell, Judi Dench, Samuel L. Jackson

Plot: When his grandfather is mysteriously murdered Jake (Butterfield) travels to an island off Wales in search of answers only to find a time loop which hides a school for extraordinary children who he is destined to protect from the evil Hollowgasts.

Review: It’s been a rocky road for the last decade or so with “Sleepy Hollow” marking the end of what we could consider his golden period as he instead went off to play around in the studio system, remaking his childhood favourites. However with the release of “Frankenweenie” and the overlooked “Big Eyes” it would seem that cinema’s weird kid is keen to get back to his roots.

Adapted from the novel by Ransom Riggs who constructed the story around unusual photographs he had collected with the end result playing in many ways like a 1940’s set version of the “X-men” and making it all the more fitting that the script was written by Jane Goldman who previously worked on both “X-Men: First Class” and “X-Men: Days of Future Past”. Of course this story is seemingly written with Burton in mind as it celebrates the abnormal and bizarre to create a “Freaks” like family.

A pipe smoking Eva Green (something we didn’t know we wanted to see until now) plays a Ymbryne here which basically means she has the ability to change into a peregrine falcon aswell as minipulate time which might be one of the more unusual combinations of powers we have seen, but it does enable her to hide the home in a continual time loop of September 3, 1943. Here she is essentially a Burton vision of what “Mary Poppins” might have turned out in his hands and here heads up this unusual children home which brings together children of exceptional abilities.

The so called “Peculiar children” are unquestionably the real draw here as they all come with their own unique powers ranging from the aerokinetic Emma (Purnell) who is forced to stomp around in lead shoes to stop her from floating away, the super strong little girl Bronwyn (Davies) and the invisible boy Millard (King). At the same time we also have the kids who might have come from the mind of Burton had this not been an adapation with the human beehive Hugh (Parker), a pair of masked twins and Enoch who can resurrect both the dead and inanimate object all come with an air of classic Burton to them. The only one who didn’t work was Horace (Keeler-Stone) whose ability of being able to project his dreams like a human projector ends up coming off kind of pointless and more whimsical than anything close to an essential character.

While this was sold a family fare, there is certainly a dark vein which runs throughout the film be it Enoch using his powers to orchestrate his own fights to the death between his twisted doll creations or the Hollowgasts who are the twisted mutant forms of the evil wrights who battle their mutation by consuming the eyes of Peculiars a grotesque spin on the book which saw them consuming the souls of the children. As such in many ways it feels like the kind of family movies of the 80’s and early 90’s such as “The Dark Crystal” or “Raiders of the Lost Ark” which weren't afraid to throw in some darkness in with the fun.

Another aspect of the film which stands out is with the design work for the characters and locations throughout which sadly loses a lot of its charm during the modern day segments with those set in the 1940’s being packed with interesting details especially the Wrights whose flashback to the experiments which caused their mutation dripping in steampunk fantasy while Samuel L. Jackson clearly is having a blast as Mr, Barronthe leader of the Wrights. Of course this is a world were the kids can take a sunken ship and magically make seaworthy by combining their abilities and as such works best when your not questioning the fantastical logic it runs on.

The downside to the film though comes when we get into the modern day which are painfully bland and uninteresting compared to those set in the more colourful and generally more interesting 1940’s sections. Even when we get into the final showdown which see’s an army of skeletons battling the Hollowgasts in modern day Blackpool, the best parts are filmed in Blackpool tower whose styling makes it also seem like the 40’s setting despite being modern day, but then as someone who spent their childhood summers in Blackpool I can confirm that this is no doubt pretty accurate considering how they love nostalgia and why the place hasn’t really changed in the last 30 years.

A fun ride throughout despite the departure of Eva Green earlier than I would have liked, the pace is kept brisk throughout while for the fans of Burton’s earlier movies, this will no doubt feel like him getting back to making the films we’ve been wanting to see from him. I can only hope that he comes back for a sequel as there is clearly more to explore in this world and with the books currently set to be joined by a forth novel in the series it would seem that there is still plenty of material to draw inspiration from still.

The Thing (2011)

Title:  The Thing
Director: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.
Released: 2011
Starring: Ulrich Thomsen, Eric Christian Olsen, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Trond Espen Seim, Kim Bubbs

Plot: A prequel to the events of the original film, as a Norwegian research team based in Antarctica accidently stumble across a buried alien space craft aswell as the frozen body of it’s alien pilot, which they decide to bring back to their base to study further. Unsure as to what they have found head scientist Dr Sander Halvorson (Thomsen) and his assistant Adam Finch (Olsen), bring in paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Winstead) only to find out to late that the body in the ice is still alive, as it escapes and being taking on the appearance of the research team, as mistrust begins to run rampant as they struggle to identify which of them is human and which of them is the thing.

Review: John Carpenter’s “The Thing” in my own humble opinion, is without a doubt one of the scariest movies ever made, while released when Carpenter was working at the peak of his directing talent and a loving remake of the equally classic “The Thing From Another World” with Carpenter taking full advantage of the skills of Special effects wizardry of Rob Bottin to bring to life some truly hellish visions, which obviously wasn’t possibly for the original to pull off with it’s B-movie budget, even if it’s gasoline throwing sequence still looks equally amazing today. So perhaps it was with some hesitation that I approached this latest big budget remake of a horror classic.

It’s unsurprisingly that this release has been greeted with the usual hostility from some members of the Horror community, who view any remake of an established classic as nothing short of being sacrilegious, which is a shame really as this latest remake plays more like a big budget fan fiction than anything resembling a remake and in that sense makes it more comparable to Zack Snyder’s equally fun remake of “Dawn of the Dawn” the producers of which Marc Abraham and Eric Newman are also behind this film aswell, which plays well for the film especially as they were ultimately responsible for this film being a prequel rather than yet another remake, rightly defining Carpenter’s original as “Perfect” and any attempt to remake it would be similar to “Paint(ing) eyebrows on the Mona Lisa”. So here we are introduced to another group of potential alien chowder, who despite this time being largely comprised of educated scientists are still in many ways are the same kind of blue collar workers that we saw in the original, while their mix of Norwegian’s and American’s makes for another interesting angle with Director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. insisting quite rightfully that the Norwegian scientists frequently speak in their native tongue, which adds a delightfully inventive new level to the continually rising sense of paranoia.

Still what is clear throughout is how much of a fan of the original that Heijningen is, as he not only treats the source material with great respect, but also manages to capture the same claustrophobic atmosphere while making it equally hard to spot the real scientists from their alien clone, while he also ensures that the links to the original or plentiful many of which will raise a smile from the fans of the original, while also finding time to cleverly reference classic moments by given them a slight twist as the blood test is now replaced with Kate suspensefully checking each of the team members teeth for spaces were fillings are supposed to be, after discovering that the thing is unable to replicate metal, while the first time we meet Kate she is shown examing a cadaver which bares a striking resemblance to the thing dog hybrid from the original.

Sadly we are not given any form of new insights into what the thing exactly is, while it’s personal motives proves frustratingly less clear, as it is first setup as trying to escape the frozen landscape by imitating members of the team, so that it might potentially infect a larger population, a theory which is soon dashed when it attacks the crew of the escape chopper hence removing it’s easiest route of escape. Next it’s that the thing just wants to kill everyone at the research station, before then seemingly decided it would rather just escape in it’s spaceship, though seeing how the craft has been buried for the last 10,000 years makes even less sense outside of providing a unique location for the final showdown, yet still leaves the nagging question as to if it still is as fully functional as it seems, why not escape this way long before now?

Still if you find the motives of the thing baffling you may find the distinct lack of character development even more frustrating with most of the scientists interchangeable to each other, seeing how the team is largely comprised of burley bearded Norwegians, with Heijningen doing little to help them standout from each other, to the point were it seems only the Americans and a handful of key characters are easy to identify.

The cast who get parts bigger than Norwegian scientist #2 are all likable enough with Thomsen good fun as the Dr. Halvorson whose own personal research clearly takes presidence over the lives of his team, while Winstead embodies the tough Dr. Lloyd who shares more than a few traits with Ripley from the “Alien” saga as she brings another female alien ass-kicker to life, with Winstead looking equally comfortable in her lab coat as she does welding a flame thrower.

Thanks to CGI being sadly the preference over practical effects these days, it is unsurprising that the thing is largely a CGI creation this time around, which also allows for a whole new set of hellish forms for it to take, which feature heavy use of whip cracking tentacles and teethed appendages, while also demonstrating a whole new set of tricks rather than just recycling the fan favorites. Still it would seem that Heijningen is not a director to hold back, especially as he equally rivals the gore quota of the original with bodies being melded into each other and torn appendages taking on a life of their own, there is plenty to enjoy while the scientists are not slow to break out the flamethrowers once the thing makes it’s first appearance, which did have me asking as to why for a non military lab that they processed so many? I’m not sure if this column has any arctic based scientists who read it, but if anyone wants to shed any light on these, then please feel free to do so.

While it may not be on the same level as the original, it still provides a fun companion piece which helps further the mythology of the thing, perhaps as this film further proves one of Sci-horrors greatest unsung heroes and while it would be nice to see a whole heap of monster movies follow in it’s wake or further additions to the series, this film provides enough gooey fun to tie you over in the meantime…. just make sure you eat before you watch it.

Primal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Primal

Director: Josh Reed

Released: 2010

Starring: Zoe Tuckwell-Smith, Krew Boylan, Lindsay Farris, Rebekah Foord, Damien Freeleagus, Will Traval, Mark Saunders

Plot: Anja (Tuckwell-Smith) and her friends are looking for a remote collection of cave paintings in the bushlands of the Australian outback, unaware of an ancient evil lurking in the area, which soon turns the fun loving Mel (Boylan) into a primal savage who soon starts hunting the rest of the group.

 

Review: When it comes to producing great horror Australia has frequently been able to pull out surprising and original horror films, even if the output of the country has been more sporadic since the glory days of the Ozploitation era. This film however is not one of the more memorable films as of late. Frustratingly this is not a bad film, but rather a decidedly average one, which for every great idea it throws out there, it then proceeds to throw something stupid into the mix and inturn throwing the film off.

Opening with the usual setup of friends heading out to some remote location, only to soon find themselves way out of their depth, it essentially doesn’t deviate from the usual checklist which once again left me wondering when we will actually have a horror film, were you don’t have every character figured out within the first five minutes. Still it is not too long before Mel suddenly takes on a more savage form with  director Reed wasting no time on a gradual transformation as she goes from bubbly blonde to frenzied killer in a matter of minutes. True it isn’t a huge change seeing how this monstrous form basically consists of a pair of black contacts and a set of monstrous teeth which is no discredit to the film as while a simple change it is still an effective one and one fitting of the savage nature she takes on.

Here of course lies the first of the many issues with this film, in that the reason for this sudden change is never really explained, outside of suggesting that the evil spirit / worm thing in the caves has the power to turn anything which comes into contact with the nearby lake into a primal beast. Sadly the only things we see it affecting other than Mel and later group leader Dace (Traval) is a couple of rabbits, a bunch of leaches and the midge population which suddenly develops the ability to eat anything from tents to car tyres. The confusion is only added to by the random scenes of Mel tossing half eaten carcasses in the cave entrance to supposedly please whatever it is that lives I the cave. Half-baked plot ideas though are frustratingly the order of the day here and frequently proved to drag the film down every time it seem to established the direction the story was going to go, even more frustratingly when it seemed to have established a plot line involving trying to capture Mel, using a variety of Guerrilla tactics which felt in many ways like a nod to “Predator” especially when they construct a net trap which bizarrely seemed to be as far as their planning goes though in surreal moment, this lack of forward planning is even acknowledged by Dace and Warren (Freeleagus), who look up at the now trapped Mel and question what to do next. I mean seriously how can you build any kind of non-lethal trap without planning on what to do when it actually works?!?

On the flip side of these plotting issues the film does manage to pull out a few surprises mainly in the form of personality switches between characters, with the carefree joker actually having a sensitive side and a seemingly bookish member actually hiding an inner badass in one the more memorable confrontations between the group and their primal former friends. Honestly this did help break up the predictability of the plotting which sticks largely to the usual character clichés, while equally failing by this same effect to give us a satisfying final girl as neither of the remaining female characters manager to step up while one seems to be kept around for the sole purpose of cramming in an unwanted monster rape plot line (complete with mutant fetus). Such a disappointing lack of noticeable final girl has a lot to do with the casting, as none of the cast are particularly memorable, but this seems to be just another sign of the times when it comes to modern horror, especially when every new horror frequently seems like a GQ spread, with actors being seemingly chosen for their physical appeal rather than acting ability. This of course is unless you’re in an Eli Roth movie and then it’s more about your willingness to get naked.

Ultimately this film is forgettable at best and outside of a curious watch, it is doubtful that it will hold your interest to warrant a second. True there is a number of good idea, but these have to be found amongst the numerous half-baked ones, which frequently take away from the film, much like the lack of connection I felt with any of the characters and hence found it even harder to care about the situation they are in, much less find the enthusiasm to write this one up so approach with caution.

Class of Nuke 'Em High

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Class of Nuke ‘Em High

Director: Richard W. Haines, Lloyd Kaufman
Released: 1986
Starring: Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton, Robert Prichard, Pat Ryan Jr., James Nugent Vernon, Brad Dunker, Gary Schneider, Theo Cohan, Gary Rosenblatt, Mary Taylor, Rick Howard, Lauren Heather McMahon, Arther Lorenz

Plot: Strange things are afoot as Tromaville High School, with nuclear radiation leaking into the school from the power planet next door, things only get weirder when Warren and Chrissy are unwittingly given radioactive pot.

Review: The films of “Troma Entertainment” have always been an acquired taste to say the least, as despite frequently feeling the wrath of the critics with each new film they release, they have at the same time continued to be supported by a rabid fan base. After all what other studio can boast its own free festival promotional team made up completely of its fans? Equally Troma owner Lloyd Kaufman has frequently played a similar role to Roger Corman in assisting up and coming directors and actors in getting their first breaks in the industry including “Guardians of the Galaxy” director James Gunn (Tromeo and Juliet), “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker (Cannibal! The Musical) and even J.J. Abrams (Nightbeast) to name but a few! At the same time Kaufman has been equally keen to inspire others to make their own trash movies with his now dated due to their focus on shooting on film, but still amusing “Make Your Own Darn Movie” series of books.

Needless to say a Troma film is always a unique experience and this is none the less true here, with the film opening with nerdy student Dewey (Lorenz) accidently drinking nuclear waste out of a drinking fountain before suddenly freaking out and punching classmates before finally throwing himself out of a window, where he proceeds to melt into a gooey puddle on the concrete. Still this incident pales in comparison to the general issues that Tromaville High School has, with the hallways lined with random horny students constantly making out, while the debate team have turned into a psychotic biker gang called “The Cretins”, while look like rejects from “The Warriors” with their truly random styling, including Gonzo (Dunker) who dresses like a tribal warrior and even welds a bone while wearing a stupidly huge nose ring. Still within this mass of random characters none of whom seem to belong in the same movie, we have the young and innocent (well compared to their classmates) lovers Warren and Chrissy who after smoking the radioactive pot, which the Cretins are marketing as “Atomic High” picked from the nearby power plant they soon find themselves suffering from bizarre side effects with Warren soon gaining super strength, while the two are soon overcome with overwhelming horniness.

No doubt this all sounds random enough, but this of course is before you take into account the genre hoping antics taking place within the film as it switches between a horror, teen sex comedy and even superhero elements as Warren set out to take out the members of the Cretins, in a scene which comes across like a throwback to Troma favourite “The Toxic Crusader” as he appears with a mutated head and toxic waste squirting out of his ears. However despite this radical change he randomly be back to normal by the next time we see him. Still this is all without mentioning the mutant monster which Chrissy vomits into the school toilet only to later come back in its adult form for the finale where it soon sets about making short work of the remaining members of the cast.

The film is packed with the trademark splatter the Troma has over the years become renown for, all of course done with old school effects which are certainly creative to say the least, especially when they include Warren jamming his arm down one gang members throat, while another gang member gets his head punched through by Chrissy’s monstrous offspring. These of course just a few of the gory delights contained within, with Kaufman once again showing his ability to stretch a budget which is not limited to him intentionally changing the original name of the film from “Nuke ‘Em High” in hopes of people mistaking it for “Class of 1984”, with his crafty financial ways even making the mutant monster seem impressive despite it being incomplete at the time of filming, meaning that you never see the full creature only it’s hands and face, it still comes off pretty impressive and even more when you compare it to the CGI creations of late.

Moving at a rapid pace there always seems to be something happening throughout the film, even if it frequently fails to make a whole lot of sense, while the frequent bouts of gore and violence, provide most of highlights especially when the story so frequently feels like they are making it up as they go, which could knowing Troma be all so true. However the film in best b-movie / exploitation style does show you things you things you’d be unlikely to see anywhere else (and often with good reason) with the Cretin’s taking over the school and riding their motorcycles through the halls being especially memorable, much like the drug fuelled dreams of Warren and Chrissy which not only feature mutations aplenty, but also Warren sporting a monster (literally in this case) erection as he makes not so much a tent but a marque with his bed sheets. As with the majority of Troma’s output it is hard to recommend this film, as like most of John Water’s early film it is more a case of challenging you to experience it and make up your own mind, as this film is no different as its one you will either love or hate. Needless to say someone clearly did love this as it spawned two sequels which I guess I have doomed myself to watching at some point, much like I did by watching “Leprechaun” and while your regular movie goer will no doubt despise this, bad movie fans should atleast give this a look even if it does largely linger around the ass end of okay throughout.  

Debuts Blogathon: Basketcase

 

It’s safe to say that there are few directors who embrace the sleazy side of cinema as much as Frank Henenlotter, who while not the main prolific of directors, with only six films to his credit, since unleashing this debut film in 1982 he has retained his exploitation cinema inspired style throughout, while other directors such as those who came through the Roger Corman film school such Joe Dante, John Landis and James Cameron moved onto making more mainstream movies and moving away from their exploitation cinema beginnings, Henenlotter has remained true to his grimey 42^nd street inspired roots, even continuing his passion for exploitation cinema through “Something Weird Video” where he has been instrumental in rescuing numerous titles from being destroyed including “Bloodthirsty Butchers” and  the truly random “The Curious Dr. Humpp” aswell as this debut film from Henenlotter himself.

Opening with what could almost be described as a video postcard of New York’s 42^nd street (true not one that anyone would want to receive) as cinema marquee’s advertise kung fu movies and sleaze as the softly spoken and awkward Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) wanders down the neon lit sidewalk carrying a larger wicker basket. Unsurprisingly everyone wants to know what’s in the basket, from the cackling street walkers to the residents of the seedy hotel were Duane decides to stay. Unknown to them all though is that this wicker basket is home to Duane’s monstrous twin brother Belial, who is deeply resentful at being surgically separated from his brother, so much so that the two brothers are now on a mission of revenge to kill the doctors who separated them.

Henenlotter’s vision of New York has always been one caked in grime and sleaze which he established with this debut, were the residents are either sleazy or just plain oddballs. Even Duane’s love intrest Sharon (Terri Susan Smith) seems to not be quite all there, especially when she frequently talks so breathlessly and wide eyed. Still this film establishes a lot of Henenlotter’s favourite themes including bodily mutation, over the top violence aswell as his now trademark scuzzy sense of humour to craft a unique film to say the least but one which wears its exploitation colours proudly, with Henenlotter himself classifying his films as exploitation films rather than Horror films.  Here he crafts a tale full of sleaze, gore and sheer randomness yet one which also surprisingly has quite a few touching moments aswell such as the boys’s aunt reading them “The Tempest”, while despite Belial only being able to communicate telepathically with his brother the two share a clear bond for each other, even if it might seem that Duane is being led by his monstrous brothers lust for revenge, the rage at being detached from each other being clear for them both. Still despite these tender moments the tone throughout is decidedly schizophrenic, especially when Belial starts to demonstrate a serious jealously streak, which soon sees him soon setting off to pursue his own perverse pleasures including one scene which managed to offend even the crew to the point where they walked off the production, something that would also happen again on Henenlotter’s next film “Brain Damage”.  

Warped tastes aside this film remains a master class in low budget film making with a measly budget of $35,000 a fact only further highlighted by the roll of cash Duane carries with him actually being the films budget, while Henenlotter’s crew was so small he actually make up most of the names listed on the credits, to make it seem like a bigger crew than he actually had. Still despite the lack of budget the film has still dated well, with the stop motion effects used to animate Belial having a real charm to them which CGI just doesn’t have. Equally not hampered is the healthy gore quota on hand here, as we get a head pushed into a drawer of surgical equipment and bloody maulings amongst the bloody delights aswell as some gooey looking surgical scenes as we see in one flashback the two brothers being separated. Still despite Belial’s murderous tendancies, he is still a restrained killer and only kills for revenge and the only time he breaks from this is in a fit of jealousy towards the end of the film, almost as if Henenlotter was keen to show that while he might look like a monster he processes none of the usual monster psychology, though at the same time he is unquestionably a pervert as seen in several of the more questionable scenes, were Belial decides to explore the world outside of his basket.

More focused than some of his later films, the film has a quick pace and outside of some truly questionable acting there is a lot to enjoy here, especially at this point Henenlotter is still not as caught up in his themes as he becomes in his later films which frequently seem to be more about shocking the audience than crafting an intelligible story as his last film “Bad Biology” only serves to highlight. Still for anyone looking for a starting point for Henenlotter’s film this is certainly a gentle entry point and for many this remains the favourite of his six films, so much so that it would spawn two sequels despite the ending of this film being pretty final, but then like any good exploitation movie, if there is a chance to make money there is always a way.

Thanks to Chris at Terry Malloy's Pigeon Coop and Mark at Three Rows Back for letting me a part of their blogathon, so why not check them out and see the rest of the blogathon posts.

John Dies At The End

Title: John Dies At The End

Director: Don Coscarelli
Released: 2012
Starring: Rob Mayes, Chase Williamson, Clancy Brown, Paul Giamatti, Doug Jones, Glynn Turnman, Fabianne Therese, Daniel Roebuck, Jonny Weston, Jimmy Wong

 

Plot: On the streets there is a new drug called “Soy Sauce” which not only gives the user latent psychic abilities, but also the ability to drift across time and other dimensions, something which has led to a doorway for an otherworldly invasion being unwittingly opened. So with mankind in need of a hero, worryingly what they get instead is John (Rob Mayes) and David (Chase Williamson) a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down a job, while receiving back up from the TV psychic (Clancy Brown) whose own psychic powers might not being a fake as they would seem.



Review: I think it’s safe to say that this film is unlikely to be anything resembling a mainstream hit, which is hardly going to be of any surprise to the established fans of director Don Coscarelli, who is probably best known for helming the “Phantasm” series, aswell as turning Elvis into an OAP mummy slayer in “Bubba Ho-Tep”. However considering that his last directing gig was the “Masters of Horror” episode “Incident On and Off a Mountain Road” way back in 2005, it is something of a relief to know that he has not lost any of his trademark randomness in the meantime, as he now returns with this adaptation of David Wong’s cult novel, which in many ways could have been written specifically for him, especially considering the sheer randomness he conjured with his own Phantasm series.

Opening with David beheading an undead skinhead, while philosophically musing over having to replace both the handle and axe head over the numerous attempts it takes him to despatch of this foe and whether this would still make it the same axe. This will be one of the easier questions which the film poses, especially as you find yourself frequently questioning what exactly is supposed to be happening, as David recounts his experiences to reporter Arnie Blondestone (Paul Giamatti) starting with their battle with a monster made of meat products while slowly revealing how he came to encounter the mysterious and seemingly living drug known simply as “Soy Sauce”.

While seemingly recounting a supposedly linear story I couldn’t help but feel like the film was some failed TV show, which had been picked up and then edited into a movie format. Such creeping feelings are only further reinforced as David and John move randomly from battling one threat to another, as the plot involving this mystery drug, soon paves the way for a possession storyline, before throwing that out of the window, so that the boys can travel to another dimension, were the inhabitants all wear masks and walk around topless (not such a bad thing) while being ruled by a the sentient machine Korrok, who has a habit of feeding those who oppose him to giant spiders. Incase you haven’t realised it already; it is safe to say that this is one truly random ass trip though time and space, even more so when you consider that at one point David is forced to communicate to John telepathically with the aid of a hotdog.

A film like this only really works if all involved are committed to the joke, which thankfully can be said for the cast comprised of largely unknowns, outside of cult cinema favourite Brown and Giamatti, while Doug Jones who is probably better known for his CGI motion capture work, appears here in a rare unsuited role. Still both Mayes and Williamson are both engaging and believable leads, even though it is left to Williamson to carry the film for the most part, it only serves to up the crazy factor when they are finally brought together and makes me hope that Coscarelli will direct an adaptation of the follow up novel “This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It” especially as this film so perfectly sets up what could make for a great series of misadventures, such like “Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil”, though I guess that will depend heavily on how this film is received.

The fact this film is so unlike anything currently being released in the mainstream, is something which only plays to its advantage, for while the plotting is largely incoherent as the film swerves between plot points like a drunk driver, with Coscarelli occasionally taking hold of the wheel to give us a burst of coherency, only to then pile further randomness on top of things, with such random plotting almost ensuring that it will appeal to a select audience at best. However at the same time there is something surreally wonderful about how this film is put together, much like the underrated “Southland Tales” and a film which I would say this is most easy to compare to, especially when it never strays into the same deeply bizarre realm operated in chiefly by David Lynch, with its random film references which include a nod to both “Return of the Jedi” and more sneeringly “The Sixth Sense” only further warming it to its indie audience, aswell as Coscarelli’s established fanbase who will no doubt already be used to this incoherent style of film plotting from his previous films.

Far from the easiest of films to sell, especially as it has every potential of being viewed as a cult classic in the making, while highlighting to the Coscarelli fan base that his time away from the director’s chair hasn’t caused him to lose his highly original style, with original certainly being the key word for describing this film, which while not to everyone’s tastes will certainly appeal to the more adventurous movie goer aswell as fans of “Todd and the Book of Pure Evil” which is the closest comparison to anything I can draw, other than saying that this film does for Horror and inter-dimensional time travel what Douglas Adams did for sci-fi. Still if you’re looking for one of the more original releases of this year, look no further!

Chillerama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Chillerama

Director: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan
Released: 2011
Starring: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Owen Benjamin, Ray Wise, Eric Roberts, Miles Dougal, Lin Shaye, Sean Paul Lockhart, Anton Troy, Gabby West, Adam Robitel, Ron Jeremy, Tim Sullivan, Thomas C. Colby-Dog, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, Jim Ward, Richard Riehle, Corey Jones, Kaili Thorne, Brendan McCreary, Ward Roberts

Plot: It’s the closing night of the last drive-in theatre in America and owner Cecil B. Kaufman has decided to go out with a bang by holding a marathon of cinematic trash for his faithful cinephile patrons. Unknown to them though is the fact that one of the staff has contracted a zombie virus through some ill-advised necrophilia, ensuring this is going to be nothing short of a memorable closing night.

Review: While many may have hailed Eli Roth as the saviour of the horror genre, a title which he has sadly failed to live up to, especially considering how he is more concerned with taking on producing duties these days than sitting in the directors chair, as only further highlighted by the gap between “Hostel 2” and the forthcoming “The Green Inferno”. Infact if anyone could be branded as a saviour for the genre, I would personally venture that it would have to be Adam Green, whom since unleashing “Hatchet” has only feverishly continued to add to the genre, as he followed it up with not only a sequel to this debut, but also the critically acclaimed “Frozen” which showed that he was more than another splatter director.More surprisingly though he has also givin us the horror version of “The Big Bang Theory” with “Holliston” which he also stars in with fellow horror director and best friend Joe Lynch, who unsurprisingly is also on hand to direct a segment here.

Now the unholy twosome join forces with Adam Rifkin and Tim Sullivan to create this horror comedy anthology, an idea originally devised by Rifkin and Sullivan as a weekly show for MTV, only for it to fall through due to the increased popularity in reality shows. Now recruiting Green and Lynch to their cause it finally makes it to the screen in movie form and I was eager to see how it stood up alongside the classic Anthologies which came before it like “Tales From The Darkside” and “Creepshow”, aswell as the knowing nods to B-movie culture much like we saw with the criminally separated “Grindhouse” whose double feature format failed to make it out of the States as it was released internationally as two separate films.

Comprised of four films with each director getting their own chance to craft their own vision, as they give us here

• Wadzilla (directed by Adam Rifkin) – A monster sized man eating sperm goes on a rampage through New York.

• I Was a Teenage Werebear (directed by Tim Sullivan) – The sole musical entry in the film, set in 1962 were Ricky (Lockheart) a closet gay discovers a mysterious gang, who also happen to turn into leather daddy werebears when aroused.

• The Diary of Anne Frankenstein (directed by Adam Green) – The secret attempt by Hitler (Moore) to create the perfect killing machine to help turn the tide of the war, while in turn giving the world his Jewish Frankenstein Meshugannah (Hodder) 

• Zom-B-Movie (directed by Joe Lynch) – The main meat of the film, which is intercut with the other films, as sex crazed zombies invade the drive through while ensuring the film end with a suitably splatter soaked finale

As you can see it is a real mixed bag on offer here in terms of style and ideas, yet all keep within the general theme the film shows….one that it would seem drenched in bodily fluids and gore, served up with a heavy dose of warped humour, which is not a bad thing and certainly gives the bad taste aficionados plenty to enjoy. The downside though is that like “Four Rooms” the level of talent on offer here is varying to say the least, resulting in a film which is frequently uneven in places as the standard shifts from piece to piece with Green and Lynch easily having the stronger segments, with their experience of working in the genre really coming into play, with Lynch’s “Zom-B-Movie” throwing out cheeky nods to the zombie genre left, right and centre while seemingly also attempting to top the splatter finale of Peter Jackson’s legendry “Braindead” while at the same giving it a sex comedy style twist which has to be seen to be believed. Meanwhile Green’s twist on Frankenstein is so over the top that despite the high potential to cause offence by poking fun at what could essentially be volatile subject matter, is quickly put to rest by the ever increasing levels of randomness, which has a real Mel Brooks feel to it as the film self acknowledges its own stupidity, even having cast step outside of the sets and actors suddenly being replaced by questionable looking dummies.

Sadly were the film hits a major bump is with “I Was A Teenage Werebear” which attempts to give us “Grease” via the way of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, which is a dangerous idea to begin with when you consider that even Richard O’Brian couldn’t create a sequel to beat his creation, so it is essentially destinted to fail from the start as any number of tepid stage versions trying to capture the magic of the film have only further proven. The main problem here is not so much with the plot, which embraces carefree gay love, aswell as the confusion for a young man still forced to live in the closet, all great themes to see being used and obviously ideas close to the heart of the segments director seeing how Sullivan himself is openly gay (and rather keen to drop this fact in for any promotional material for the film). What lets this segment down is instead the weak collection of forgettable songs being warbled by the cast. None of these song I have to confess would have me rushing to buy the soundtrack, which has been optimistically released alongside the film, while Sullivan has also hinted at a full length stage version, something else that I’m not exactly on tender hooks to see, especially as this segment is only just bearable, thanks to some over the top and frequently original splatter.

One thing which stuck with me about this film though is the continuous obsession with bodily fluids, as the film seems to take any opportunity to ensure that all feature in some form or another with “Wadzilla” with its giant sperm and tidal wave cum shots ensuring that it comes off like a more light hearted version of the body shocker “Bad Biology”. Still the bad taste aficionados amongst you will no doubt appreciate the sheer effort which has been put into this film to ensure that they are all covered for your viewing pleasure, which includes a scatological themed “Deathication”. Thankfully its not a theme which overshadows the whole film, but one which certainly crops up enough to be noticeable.

While the segments might vary greatly in quality and style, the strength of “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein” and “Zom-B-Movie” prove to be more than enough to cover for the weaker parts of the film. At the same time while watching this I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing the audience element which no doubt has made this such a popular film on the horror festival circuit and as such I would recommend watching this with a group of like-minded friends to get the full effect intended.

The Fly

Title: The Fly

Director: David Cronenberg

Released: 1986

Staring: Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, John Getz

Plot: Seth Brundle (Goldblum) an eccentric yet brilliant scientist believes he has found a way to teleport from one location to another using his invention “The Telepod”. However while using himself as a guinea-pig, he unwittingly fuses his genes with a house fly which was trapped in the pod with him.

Review: For the most part the word “remake” can be considered to be a word almost a dirty as the word “reboot”, especially when films get remade seemingly only in the pursuit of easy box office dollars, as the studios attempt to cash in on the legacy of an established classic. Then of course we have a film like this film which not only remakes the classic 1958 movie, but rather turns it into something altogether more special.

Considering Cronenberg’s love of bodily mutation, disease and infection, it would in many ways seem like a no brainer for him to helm the remake, as it is essentially prime for the exploration of these key Cronenberg themes, but despite his love for the original, it was bizarrely only after he was offered the project by even more bizarrely of all people Mel Brooks, who despite being best known for his screwball comedies would also produce under “Brooksfilms”, films such as “The Elephant Man” and “Frances” opting not to use his name, encase people mistook the films for comedies, which is undoubtedly for the best here.

Rewritting large sections of the original script by Charles Edward Pogue, who still retains a writing credit here, thanks to Cronenberg’s insistence that Pogue’s script had served as the foundation for his own rewrites. Here he has crafted in his own way a love story, in very much the same way that “True Romance” can be viewed as a love story, for while both don’t contain the traditional structure of your run of the mill romantic film, it is certainly at the heart of this film, which is only made clearer when the film is broken down into its simplest terms for what we have is the story of two people in love, only one of them is dying from a horrible disease. It just so happens that in this case the disease is one which is turning him into a mutant man fly hybrid or “The Brundlefly” as he frequently refers to himself, as the true extent of his condition becomes apparent to him.

Goldblum is of course perfect casting as the ill fated scientist as his usual tics and stumbling dialogue only further help him embody the character of Seth, while even more surprisingly managing to project real on screen chemistry with Davis’s Veronica, especially with Davis and Goldblum being in a relationship at the time, which would usually equal zero onscreen chemistry which is thankfully not the case, with Davis especially deserving props for making such an unlikely relationship seem believable, even though it would seem that Veronica is using her feminine charms to get the story, it is really down to her performance that we can believe that their relationship is real.

Unlike the original which is played out in a more traditional b-movie style, with more of the focus being on the hideous transformation in order to maximize shocks. Here Cronenberg takes the time to focus on Brundle’s teleportation experiments, which when we join him is still failing to transport anything living, as shown by the messy failed teleportation of a baboon, with Cronenberg using Veronica’s video camera interviews to truly get in the mind of Brundle, looking at the frustration he finds with his failures, while also capturing the enthusiasm his work brings out in his despite this as he bounces enthusiastically around his lab with each breakthrough he finds giving him renewed vigor towards his goal. These video sections become equally important as Brundle starts to mutate it, as he records each new change first of all with a strange curiosity as he finds himself with increased strength and libido, aswell as ultimately sadness as finds himself becoming increasingly more monstrous in appearance as his body parts slowly disintegrate, with his transformation also causing him to adopt fly like attributes such as body forcing him to vomit bile on his food before consumption.

Released at the height of the AID’s epidemic, the film was initially seen as a parable on the disease, but as Cronenberg would confirm the film is infact about growing old as Brundle nears his final nightmarish transformation he is shown bent double and using walking sticks to move around with his once youthful looks now reduced to a wrinkled visage. Still it is clear how much fun Cronenberg is having here, especially with Special effects guru Chris Walas bringing the horrific and gradual transformation to life, while also providing further fuel to the importance of old school effects over the CGI, much like Rob Bottin’s equally incredible special effects work on “The Thing”.

While more certainly gooier than the original trilogy of films, Cronenberg has truly made a version of the story very much in tune with his own vision, something especially surprising for such a mainstream studio film and while he had originally hoped that the success of this film would give him the freedom to make any film he wanted, it would still take another two years to bring his then dream project “Dead Ringers” to the screen. Still if there was ever a film which justifies why Cronenberg is a director worth getting excited about this is it and while it might be a rare jaunt into Big budget mainstream film making it still retains all of his usual trademarks as well as the curious charm from his independent features and while it might be at times it might feel that your reaching for the sickbag perhaps a little too frequently especially on the first viewing, Cronenberg never uses such tactics for cheap shocks and never at the expense of the story. This is bold and exciting film making at its best aswell as at its most gooey.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Title: The Hills Have Eyes

Director: Alexandre Aja

Released: 2006

Staring: Aaron Stanford, Kathleen Quinlan, Emilie de Ravin, Dan Byrd, Tom Bower, Billy Drago, Robert Joy, Ted Levine

Plot: After breaking down in the desert a family find themselves being hunted by a group of Cannibalistic mutants

Review: Out of the new breed of Horror directors of recent years few have managed to reach the same levels of the masters of horror who came before them, while even more frustrating the ones who showed true potential such as Eli Roth, now seem to have lost their way with Roth seemingly these days more interested in producing and giving questionable performances as an actor. Still since I saw Director Aja's debut film “Haute Tension” released in the UK under the grindhouse esq title “Switchblade Romance” and the more straightforward title interpretation of “High Tension” for it’s US release, he has been for myself a Horror director worth watching and this film only further cemented for me that reputation, for it is one thing to remake a classic horror film, but to be personally hand picked by the films original director and Horror legend Wes Craven after he was shown Aja’s debut by his long time producing partner Marianne Maddalena, to helm the remake of a film which was once branded the scariest movie ever made, leading to a fun rivalry between Craven and Sami Rami, who would also reference the original in a film I'd also give that title to “The Evil Dead”.

Teaming up once again with his creative partner Grégory Levasseur to devastating effect once more, as right from the start Aja lets the audience know that he’s not going to be pulling any punches, from the opening pick axe attack on a group of scientists, to his opening title montage which combines nuclear testing footage with intercuts of birth defects caused by Agent Orange in Vietnam, yet still hauntingly manage to double as convincing effects of nuclear fallout. Needless to say it’s a gruesome and shocking foundation that he only builds on, from this moment onwards, though showing a maturity to lure the audience into a false sense of security teasing out the next attack which again proves to be as equally effective as like the family the audience is bombarded with chaos and confusion, with the second of these attack seeing things taken perhaps alittle to far, especially as it descends into a rape and murder party which does have the feeling of Aja pushing things perhaps alittle too far, while at the same providing the catalyst for the change in seemingly eternal pacifist Doug (Standford), who is shown as an academic and thinker unlike his more openly aggressive and testosterone driven father in law Big Bob (Levine). It’s only after the mutants attack that Doug snaps and pretty much goes postal, much like David in “Straw Dogs” (1971) were an equally horrific (but unconvincingly acted by Susan George) attack on his wife leads him to abandon his academic persona for more primal urges and it’s a key reference used by Aja and further highlighted by Doug’s broken glasses.

When it comes to the gore, once again Aja isn’t pulling punches as to be expected and if revenge is a dish best served cold, then the revenge Doug hands out is Icy cold with his change startling to say the least, as he changes from someone who actively avoids confrontation, to a man running on pure survival mode as he turns the tables on the mutants by actively hunting them down with the family dog Beast whom also seems to undergo a similar change for some unknown reason) . The gore quota is giddily high here, as limbs are lopped off and violence is kept primal especially at the hands of the mutants, who at the same time they still maintain a high level of intelligence and able to pull off planned attacks on the family and seen communicating via Walkie-Talkie, yet frustratingly there is little depth given to the mutants beyond their surface abnormalities, so any theories on the chain of leadership is left with the audience to figure out for themselves. Still I loved the fact that the mutants live in a town made for nuclear testing and that they are creations as a result of those weapons of death and destruction, characteristics they now choose to embody.

The mutant appearances are all very much grounded in reality with Aja and Levasseur looking at the effects of nuclear fallout in places such as Chernobyl and Hiroshima, aswell as more bizarrely a Pogues concert which the pair attended while in Chicago, while the effects used are a highly impressive mixture of flawless CGI and old school effects, allowing them to create some hideous looking creations, with each of the mutants having their own individual look, making them easy to distinguish between and allowing what little characterisation there is to come across alot clearer.

While it might have the disadvantage of being a remake, Aja has managed to rise above the comparisons to the original and is very much it’s own creation and more than capable of holding it’s own against the original, making it one of the few remakes to match up to the original, while Aja manages to bring enough original ideas to prevent the feeling of over familiarity which often comes with remakes and it only makes it more of a shame that he opted not to come back for the sequel, which although more original, lack any of the edge that this film has even if the tastefulness of some of the scenes can certainly be questioned, while at the same time only furthering my opinion that Aja is a modern horror director worth keeping an eye on.

Hell Comes To Frogtown

Title: Hell Comes To Frogtown
Director: Donald G. Jackson
Released: 1988
Staring: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, Cec Verrell, William Smith, Rory Calhoun

Plot: Set in the aftermath of a Nuclear war, which has not only left the majority of the surviving human race infertile, but has also created a race of mutant frogmen, who have since their creation been exiled to the desert, creating thier own society for themselves known as Frogtown. With the frogs having recently captured a group of fertile women, the all female government recruit drifter Sam Hell (Piper), to bring them back aswell asking them to reproduce with them, seeing how he is possibly the last fertile man on earth, while at the same time strapping a bomb to his crotch to ensure that he carries out his mission.



Review: I think there seriously must have been something in the water in 80’s, especially when you look at some of insane titles which the era produced, something which this film is a testament not only to, but also highlights the questionable style and content of Director Jackson’s films, which unsurprisingly earned him the moniker of being “The Ed Wood of the Video Age.”, while creating his own style of film making with Scott Shaw, known simply as “Zen Filmaking”, were no scripts were used in the creation of film, which probably goes along way to explaining some of his films, while it’s also worth noting the sheer passion that Jackson has for those same films, frequently directing the sequels they spawned, though it could also be questioned at the same time if anyone else would really want to direct a sequel to one of his films?

“Hell Comes To Frogtown” is probably the best known of Jackson’s films, no doubt as a result of the casting of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, who was at the time was also one of the top name wrestlers in the WWE (back then was still known as the WWF) and when you look at his performance here and the John Carpenter classic “They Live” (1988), it's kinda suprising that he wasn’t used more as an actor, especially while his WWE Stablemate “Hulk Hogan” was torturing us all with some pretty hideous performances, while Piper is strangely watchable. Still the whole tone of the film is pretty light hearted, which certainly helps here, as no one appears to be taking it too seriously, while the frogman special effects are pretty good, even if occasionally the mouths seem to be just opening and closing at random while some of the characters talk, depending on how important thier character is, the effect really do vary with the majority of the money being spent on the main villians, while hench-froggies get effects scraped together from the remainder of the budget.

Sam Hell is the typical 80’s wasteland hero, not only because he has bad hair and a stupid sounding name (See also for this same reason “Violence Jack” [1986] ) but mainly because he cares pretty much about himself and Piper plays up well to the stereotype, even carrying off the reference to the classic eastern tale “Monkey: Journey to the West” by having the bomb attached to his crotch, controlled by the bespectacled and slightly nerdy commanding officer Spangle’s (Bergman) ear ring, with her frequently threatening to set the bomb off whenever Hell attempts to run off or disobey her. Meanwhile Hell has some pretty badass backup from the gung ho Centinella (Verrell), who proves herself pretty handy with the heavy machine gun strapped to the top of their questionably camouflaged in pink Ambulance.

The bad guys are none the less stereotypical or cartoonish, but seriously what were you expecting from a bunch of mutant froggies? Especially ones lead by a Commander Toady! Still atleast he bothers to have a cool henchman with the eye patch wearing and chainsaw welding Bull, who also has some of the best moments of the film. Toady it would seem is also the kind of guy who likes to makes the best of a bad situation, seeing how Frogtown is pretty much an abandoned refinery in the desert, so was fun to see that he bothered to install a GoGo bar complete with it’s own mutant dancer, actually that seems to be all he has installed bar a thrown together torture room and the mention if some mine, with the rest of the action taking place outside of these locations being set in random outside locations. Still I have give Jackson some form of props for atleast giving us a look at the female of the mutant species, who it seems Hell even considers humping thanks to a sudden cut to Hell and the said dancer now wearing a potato sack over her head, to disguise the fact that ….well she’s a giant mutant frog I guess, still it would seem that interspecies relations aren’t to be on the cards here, as Hell ends up spurning her advances, which depending on your view point might be either a good or a bad thing. Personally I was kind of relived as there are some things I can go though live without seeing and Piper humping a mutant frog go-go dancer is certainly one of them.

Action wise these scenes are all pretty solid with Piper unloading shotgun shells, while spitting out classic one liners like “Eat Lead Froggies” and throwing in the occasional wrestling grapple, even though he appears to screw up a suplex on Bull, but on the whole the action scenes are still satisfying enough, even throwing in a Mad Max style chase sequence.

The real main problem this film suffers from is the fact it doesn’t seem to know what to do with itself, with a tricky third quarter, which the momentum from the earlier scenes just about carries the film past, before the action packed finale, thanks to the earlier scenes which are not so much tongue in cheek, but rather tongue forcibly crammed in cheek, which really serves to prepare you for the insanity to come.

“Hell Comes To Frogtown” is pretty much the kind of movie you’d expect it to be and while it might not be for everyone, especially for those who can’t appreciate a mutant frog movie and while that third quarter does hold it back from being a true cult classic, it’s still worth a look, if only so you can name yourself another Roddy Piper movie, other than “They Live” let alone one in which he brawls with mutant frogmen with a bomb strapped to his crotch, which lets face it is pretty much all you should want to know, before hunting this one down and maybe watch it as a post apocalyptic double with the equally zany “Six String Samurai” (1998).