Terminator Genisys

Title: Terminator Genisys

Director: Alan Taylor

Released: 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, J.K. Simmons, Dayo Okeniyi, Matt Smith, Courtney B. Vance, Lee Byung-hun

Plot: When Kyle Reese (Courtney) is sent back in time to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor (Clarke) only to find himself on an alternative timeline were Sarah is already a capable warrior and even has her own terminator “pops” (Schwarzenegger) while the threat of Skynet remains ever more present than before.

Review: Since the release of the phenomenal “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” the Terminator franchise has found itself for the most part floundering and in dire need of some kind of direction to drive the franchise forward. True these attempts have meant that we got to see Judgement day happen (Rise of the machines) as well as a disappointing attempt to set an entry in the post apocalyptic future (Terminator Salvation) whose scripts from its troubled development promised more than we ultimately got, but then what can you expect when you allow McG to direct the movie.

Now rather than doing the logical choice of just driving a dump truck of cash to James Cameron’s house and beg him to return to the franchise instead this time Alan Taylor steps up to direct who is best known for directing TV with his most noteworthy film credit being “Thor: The Dark World” which now the fans of the Marvel cinematic universe have gotten over the initial shine of getting comic book movies and proclaiming their love for everything the studio puts out regularly rank it as one of the worst films to come from the studio. So hardly the most reassuring credential going into this film, but hey Arnold was returning so that’s a postive….right?

Knowing what the fans had made of this entry ahead of time my expectation was kind of at a low, especially when the trailer had hardly done anything to grab my attention. Of course it was a big suprise when 40 mins into the film I found myself really enjoying myself as we got to see the final battle against Skynet being won and Kyle being set back in time, all things we’d heard about in the previous films and only now were getting to see actually happen. Even when we get into the alternative 1984 and see an older version of Arnold’s terminator battling his clone I was digging the homage, especially when so much care was being taken to replicate the scenes from the original film. And then we time travel again to 2017 and things started to become unglued.

For some reason once we take that leap forward the film really starts to fall apart and almost feels like the first half was directed by someone else and that Taylor was brought in by the studio to finish the film as its almost jarring how suddenly the quality of the film drops and all we’ve done is make one jump in time.

One of the biggest issues comes with the latest Terminator development which this time sees John Connor being replaced by a nanobot Terminator the T-3000 which might have worked a lot better as a plot device had the trailers not given away this major twist and as such it ends up coming off flat and devoid of any kind of emotional response that might have been there. As a villain though he brings nothing new to the table outside of having some slightly different abilities and when the end game is to blow up Cyberdyne again you can’t help but feel alittle frustrated to see the franchise still going in circles.

On the plus side Arnold is still as fantastic as ever in his iconic Terminator role even bringing a few new elements to the role this time as this time he plays Sarah Connor’s guardian Pops, perfectly working in the fact that he is much older than the last time he played the role, as its revealed that the flesh covering his robot exoskeleton can age, a concept which came from James Cameron when the producers approached him about rebooting the franchise. This is further added to by Pops showing signs of old age as his joints start to seize and give out and it really adds to the character while proving to be the one thing to justify all this timeline hopping madness.

The action is fun as always with Arnie showing that despite his age he can still throw down with the best of them as we get plenty of terminator on terminator violence with Pops saving the pair from a variety of terminator models including a new version of the T-1000 played here by Lee Byung-hun who even mixes things up slightly by including the ability to throw metal spears which makes for a nice touch especially when so much of his scenes feels like we are watching a rehash of Terminator 2 which also rang true during the helicopter chase. The T-3000 meanwhile gets old quick especially not having any real powers compared to the previous terminators we have seen. Yes he’s good as the unstoppable presence, but compared to Byung-hun he just falls flat when you compare the two.

The other issue here is that Emilia Clarke and Jai Courtney have zero chemistry together which is already supposed to be akward from the start seeing how they are destined to be together which certain parties know from the start with Pops amusingly asking Sarah if they’ve “bred” or not. But looking at this pair you can see them never getting together, while the introduction of the adult John Connor on their timeline just comes off confused and akward with a stupid plot idea only seeming the worse as this pair attempt to interact with their adult child.

Its frustrating as this film certainly has its moments with the first 40 minutes really being promising. It’s just a shame that it all falls apart from there. While it might be an improvement over parts Rise of the Machines and Salvation this really could have done with a stronger script let alone not feeling like it was borrowing from the second film so much. As such approach with caution.

Commando

Title: Commando

Director: Mark L. Lester

Released: 1985

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, James Olson, David Patrick Kelly, Alyssa Milano, Bill Duke,

Plot: Retired Commando John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) has settled into an isolated life with his daughter (Milano), only to find himself being forced to carry out a political assassination when his daughter is kidnapped. Now Matrix has eleven hours to rescue his daughter from her kidnappers.

Review: Having launched himself into the public conscious with the Conan movies and “The Terminator” with this film we really started to the see the foundations of the Arnie formula starting with his introduction in this film consisting of close up shots of his muscular frame which only seem to make everything seem bigger and more impressive than it is. Even the chainsaw which looks pretty tiny when we see it, looks like its 6 ft long in its vanity shot.

The opening shot of Schwarzenegger carrying a log over his shoulder is such an iconic shot and feels almost like the studio introducing a major star being introduced  and it could be considered so seeing how compared to the films which came before it, it’s tonly very different with Schwarzenegger trading in the sword and sorcery antics of his early films (Conan / Red Sonja) being changed out for one liners and heroic gunplay which would become the foundation of the classic Schwarzenegger movie formula. Its only on rewatching the film that you also realise just how bonkers that opening title sequence is as we go from shots of the all powerful, man of the earth to shots of Matrix and his daughter getting ice cream and hand feeding a deer, which while important to show the life that Matrix has made for himself since his retirement from the special forces tonely is just such a random switch.

The plot itself is paper thin and really only serves to guide the audience from one exciting moment to the next, especially when Matrix has to do very little work to find his way to the villain Arius’s (Hedaya) hideout on the fictional Val Verde which was also referenced in both “Predator” and “Die Hard 2: Die Harder” which like this film needed a Spanish speaking country like Cuba or Nicaragua but at the same time wanting to avoid any potential diplomatic issues. Sadly the film really lacks a defined villain so it ends up that the henchmen here are actually more interesting than Arius with of course the most key being Vernon Wells “Freddie Mercury on steroids” Bennett another stone cold psycho as Wells channels the same kind of driven intensity which made “Wez” in “Mad Max 2” such a memorable villian, though the questionable fashion choices remain present as here he trades in his ass-less chaps for a chain mail vest! His knife fight with Schwarzenegger though at the finale is the stuff of action movie legend.

Of course the Arnie formula isn’t quite perfect at this point as Matrix is not only shown as being the muscular badass but also capable to superhuman feats of strength such as the ability to tear phone boxes out of the ground or throw nine mall security guards through the air. The strength element is always played down usually with Schwarzenegger’s body size being more of a key element than any kind of strength. These moments as a result end up being pretty jarring when they occur though this film more than nails is the ridiculous elements of heroic gun play which in turn would form the blueprint for the action movie genre.

The action scenes are unquestionably the best parts of the film and only build as the film goes on from a hotel room fist fight with Bill Duke’s green beret (he eats them for breakfast) hanging David Patrick Kelly (who looks comically short throughout) off a cliff. The grand finale being the now legendry shootout with Arius’s personal army which see’s Matrix not only getting to pull out all the “War Toys” but also fire countless bullets without ever having to reload but also find something to turn into a weapon regardless of how cornered he appears to be. The body count alone for this finale might be one of the largest ever filmed.

The other noteworthy aspect of this film and certainly its most overlooked come from Rae Dawn Chong’s unlikely sidekick and air hostess Cindy who is initially unwillingly coerced into helping Matrix get his daughter back only to turn out to be surprisingly resourceful let alone perhaps the first ever member of the “Girls with Rockets” club by taking out a police truck with a rocket launcher. Why is it so rare to see women firing rocket launchers or similar in films? Certainly its a question which came to me when I was on the “Exploding Helicopter Podcast” discussing “Hard Ticket To Hawaii” and lead to me creating a list on Letterboxd to log every film this happens (feel free to name your ideas) so its safe to say thats this film should also get a credit for being so forward thinking to have her weld such a traditionally male weapon with just as much competence as her male counterpart….even if she does initially have it the wrong way around.

A fun side note is that originally this film was going to have a sequel which would have been a reworked version of “Die Hard” and seen Matrix being hired to head up a security team at the big corporation were his daughter is also working as a lawyer. Matrix would make up a team of the toughest and most dangerous people he knows only for them to turn out to be inline with the company he’s working for which is really just a front for illegal arms deals. Matrix of course ending up to fight through all the people he hired to rescue his daughter again which sounds like a great plot but at the same time its hard to argue against how “Die Hard” ultimately turned out. Who knows maybe this will be the plot of “Expendables 4”

For mindless fun this is unquestionably one of the key Schwarzenegger films and one whose cult status has only increased in recent years. Here though we get everything we want from an Arnie movie and while it might not be perfect there enough mindless violence and action to make for the perfect popcorn movie.

Elwood's Essentials #17 - The Terminator

Title: The Terminator

Director: James Cameron

Released: 1984

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Earl Boen, Bess Motta, Rick Rossovich, Dick Miller, Franco Columbu, Bill Paxton

Plot: A cyborg assassin known as a Terminator (Schwarzenegger) travels back in time to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Hamilton) the future mother of the human resistance in 2029 before he is born. At the same time Kyle Reese (Biehn) a solider from the future has also travelled back in time to protect her.

Review: Who’d have thought that the director of “Piranha 2: The Spawning” would go on to be the director of some of the most iconic and visually inventive cinema of all time. A graduate of the Roger Corman film school were he started as a miniature model maker before briefly being given the Piranha 2 gig taking over from original director Miller Drake before he too was fired topping off what had proven to be a nightmare debut for Cameron who topped off the experience by getting food poisoning.

It was while battling this illness that Cameron had a nightmare about an invincible robot assassin sent to kill him from the future which formed the basis for this film while also drawing inspiration from “The Outer Limits” episodes “Soldier” and “Demon With A Glass Hand”. Cameron also traded recordings with his friend Bill Wisher who helped him turn his draft into a finished script. This original script featured two Terminators and also introduced the idea of the liquid metal Terminator which had to be scrapped when he realised that the technology at the time wouldn’t realise his ideas leaving it for the sequel were he would introduce the now iconic T-1000.

With this film Cameron gives us two distinctive worlds as he opens in the post-apocalyptic Los Angeles of 2029 were humans have been driven to brink of extinction by the robot uprising brought about by the AI defence network Skynet. Its an iconic world vision of the future that Cameron gives us as towering machines rumble over fields of human skulls. Even though this vision of the future is limited it’s still unquestionably effective and perfectly establishes this alternative future. From here we are taken back to 1984 Los Angeles which though Cameron’s lens is shown in a grimy and neon lit style which makes for the perfect battleground for this game of cat and mouse to unfold on.

Returning to this film as an older film watcher it was now that I could finally appreciate this film beyond its set pieces, which certainly helped keep its sequel in heavy rotation during my film watching youth. This original film is a much difference beast than its action orientated sequels as here Cameron’s focus is purely on building atmosphere and tension to create a film which is as equal parts a cat and mouse thriller as it is a slasher only this time the killer is a seemingly unstoppable killing machine.

The casting is another key aspect of why this film works despite the fact that Schwarzenegger was to be cast as Kyle Reese only to talk himself into the Terminator role following a lunch meeting with Cameron, though the Terminator role could easily have gone to both Lance Henriksen or OJ Simpson who were both in the running for the role with the latter being dismissed as they felt no one would buy him as a killer. No doubt neither of them wouldn’t have made the role as iconic as it was in Schwarzenegger’s hands which itself is largely down to the amount of work he put into developing the character to truly sell the idea of him being an unstoppable killing machine and its hard to say if it was this role or Conan which was the bigger star making role for him.

Schwarzenegger as the Terminator is such a dominating presence throughout though Cameron does for the most part keep his personality cold and calculating its never to the point here that he stands out by giving machine like responses as he is shown talking with Dick Miller’s pawn shop clerk whose lack of response for why he’s buying such a shopping list of guns is more questionable than the responses that Schwarzenegger is giving. Even his iconic “I’ll be back” is a perfectly acceptable response to what he is being told by the police station clerk, only here its added to by the fact that its followed up by the Terminator driving a car through the front of the police station.

Unquestionably its a gritty sci-fi thriller that Cameron crafts here with both the Terminator and Kyle being introduced as they land nude in the present day before having to find the resources with the Terminator coldly killing a group of Punks while Kyle is shown having to break into a clothing store while evading the police in a wonderfully tense sequence and Cameron really doesn’t establish the motivation of Kyle’s character until his first confrontation with the Terminator during the now iconic tech-noir club sequence, until this point he is just shown running around the city with a modified shotgun while the Terminator works his way (or should that be kills his way) through the Sarah Connors in the phone book which is such a great touch that the machines only have a name and a location rather than an actual idea of what she looks like.

The relationship between Sarah and Kyle is an interesting one as for the most part she is unsure if Kyle is who he says he is and not just some delusional nutcase as everyone keeps telling her. The reasons for them getting together however are slightly convoluted and even now the idea of the Sarah’s future son giving Kyle her picture and essentially match making his own parents just never sat right with me even though its kind of an essential aspect to the story. This aside having a human soldier as the sole defence against the Terminator really adds a tense aspect to the plot, especially when we see the Terminator easily despatching everyone he comes into contact with. Its equally a ballsy move on Cameron’s part to *spoiler alert* kill off Kyle and leave Sarah to have the final showdown. Obviously for Sarah it perfectly sets up her character evolution from being the damsel in distress as we get to see in the next film even though having a Terminator take on the protector role does remove some of the edge that the human vulnerability of Kyle brings to the film.

The action scenes throughout are still fantastic to watch even after multiple viewings be it the police station massacre of Kyle and Sarah being chased by the Terminator, Cameron really knows how to hold the audiences attention and really craft genuinely exciting action scenes. Of course the appearance of the exo-skeleton Terminator at the finale does loose some of its effectiveness due to being such an iconic image for the franchise while its movements Stan Winston has quite nailed in this film. That being said it still makes for a fantastic finale and a wonderful creation.

While this film might be overshadowed by its sequel, the subtle charm of this film and slow build tension makes it none the less of an essential watch while also the film which marked Cameron out as talent to watch as he would unquestionably prove with the films which followed in its wake.

The Last Stand

Title: The Last Stand

Director: Kim Jee-woon
Released: 2013
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Knoxville, Rodrigo Santoro, Jaimie Alexander, Luis Guzman, Eduardo Noriega, Peter Stormare, Zach Gilford, Genesis Rodriguez.

Plot: Having escaped from his prison convoy, drug kingpin Gabriel Cortez (Noriega) now plans to jump the border into Mexico via the sleepy border town Sommerton Junction, leaving Sheriff Owens (Schwarzenegger) and his ragtag band of deputies to stop him.

 

Review: Seemingly not content with having reinvented the Western once already with “The Good, The Bad and The Weird” in his native South Korea, here director Kim Jee-woon attempts to do the same thing once more for his English language debut with this modern western, which is equally noteworthy for being Arnie’s first lead role in ten years since the disappointing “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”.

It is of course only fitting that the aging action hero Arnie here essentially takes the role of the retired gunslinger that having put his guns to earth is now enjoying the quiet life in this sleepy desert town, free from the violence and ghosts of the bungled drugs bust which caused him to leave his post in the LAPD. It’s a role which needless to say works perfectly for Arnie who here truly is believable in this role as he shuffles around the town dealing with minor crimes like the occasional cat being stuck in a tree. Infact the crime rate is so low the deputies are early on found slacking off shooting guns at slabs of meat with local vintage arms collector Lewis (Knoxville). Unsurprisingly the FBI is quick to write of these local lawman, especially considering the lack of experience most of them have dealing with any kind of major criminal threat. Of course after one of their own is killed during a firefight with Cortez’s thugs, Owens is quick to put together a plan to take revenge by stopping Cortez, as deputises former marine Frank (Santoro) and even Lewis, aswell as raiding his extensive arms collection which he has written off as being a museum.

Encase you haven’t guessed already the plot is as bonkers as it sounds and a real throwback to the films of Arnie’s golden period as the violence and jokes come in spades, especially Noriega’s drug lord is such an over the top creation, whose only becomes only the more ludicrous the more layers which are added, for what starts off as a drug lord in a superfast sports car, soon turns into a drug lord who apparently also has a side line as a professional race car driver!! It’s really almost as if Jee-woon is trying to see just how far he can push things, especially when the film already has a certain amount of leeway being an Arnie action vehicle and somehow me manages to not only make it work somehow but more importantly do it in such a way that you don’t mind putting plausibility to one side while you’re watching the plot reach ever new heights of randomness.

For those already familiar with Jee-woon’s previous films it will come as little surprise that he once again manages to craft some memorable action sequences, including a great rolling shootout, let alone crafting a wonderful high noon centrepiece on the deserted main street, which sees Owens and his team making full use of Lewis’s extensive arms collection which gives us such great moments as Luis Guzman in a cowboy hat mowing down bad guys with a tommy gun, aswell as the now stand out scene involving Arnie moving down villains with a Vickers machine gun from the back of a school bus. Arnie equally shows he’s still capable of pulling off a half decent brawl for the final showdown with Cortez which sees him matching his MMA style with some powerhouse wrestling moves, however it is also one of the few scenes in which Arnie’s does appear to be creaking slightly. At the same time it’s a smart decision to have him playing the role as more of an everyman than his usual terminator style, something which only seems the more fitting for his current status as the elder statesman of action heroes.

While the film is largely business as usual for Arnie, the film is sadly not without its flaws especially when it takes its time getting going, while Forest Whitaker is essentially squandered as he’s left generally reacting to the situation as it unfolds from the FBI headquarters. Equally an attempt at comedy involving residents of the town refusing to help because of waiting for their omelettes falls flat.

Compared to the films which made up his Bronze period such as “Collateral Damage” and “End of Days” this really is a return to form, even if its not quite at the same level as his Gold period films like “Commando” or “Predator” it’s still a fun ride that does exactly what you need it to do while never taking itself seriously. True this might not be high art film making, but really what are you expecting from this kind of movie?

Looking at the current state of his work slate it would seem that this film with Arnie as the everyman might be more the direction he’s wishing to take things especially when we look ahead to films like “Maggie”, with this film in that respect perhaps serving as a sign of things to come and honestly I’d like to see him do more films like this than trying to cash in on his previous glories, not that I don’t enjoy him pulling out the old tricks for his appearances in “The Expendables” franchise, it’s just makes more sense especially with him being now in his advanced years seeing him playing more characters like Owens which could be a really interesting new chapter for him. For now though we have to wait and see, more so with the lacking box office returns for this film it remains to be seen if audiences could buy him in a more toned down form.

Welcome To The Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Title: Welcome To the Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Director: Peter Berg
Released: 2003
Staring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Rosario Dawson, Christopher Walken, Ewen Bremner, Jon Gries, Ernie Reyes Jr, William Lucking, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Plot: Beck (Johnson) is a “retrieval expert”, keen to get out of the business so that he can open a restaurant, something not made easier by boss Walker (Lucking) constantly screwing him over. However when Walker agrees to release Beck from his contract if he can do one last job, he soon finds himself heading to South America to get Walker’s son Travis (Scott) in the town of El Dorado nicknamed “Helldorado” by the locals due to local tyrant Hatcher (Walken) who is not so keen to let Travis leave, especially when he belives that Travis can lead him to a rare artefact O Gato do Diablo aka “The Devils Cat”.
 

Review: Despite being the breakout film for Johnson whom at this point was still working under his equally well know wrestling alter-ego “The Rock”, it surprisingly remains largely unseen by most people outside of wrestling / action fans which is something of a shame as it is certainly one of the better wrestler headling productions which WWE Studios was setup to make, especially with WWE owner Vince McMahon never being one to miss a promotion opportunity, even though wrestlers have hardly had a track record as credible acting talent, even more when such promotion ideas have lead to the world being given such cinematic monstrosities as “Santa With Muscles” and “Mr. Nanny” both staring Hulk Hogan back when he decided to take a break from trying to convince the world he was still relevant as a wrestler and instead was trying to convince the world he could act.

Still this has not been to say that there haven’t been wrestlers who have managed to transfer their ring presence to the screen, as seen with Kane (See No Evil), Rowdy Roddy Piper (They Live / Hell Comes To Frogtown) and current WWE favourite John Cena who surprisingly has not had the same luck that Johnson has had, despite appearing in the surprisingly good “The Marine” and the sadly overlooked “12 Rounds”, though perhaps if he wasn’t appearing in trash like “Fred: The Movie” it might also help. This film however would prove to be just the boost that Johnson’s acting career needed, especially after his previous lead in “The Scorpion King” failed to be the star making vehicle that it was expected to be, while this film seemingly was crafted to work to all of Johnson’s strengths such as his natural charm and general ass kicking abilities, while finally showing him as the leading man the WWE wanted him to be seen as.

Director Berg was an interesting choice to direct this film, especially considering that his only feature credit at this point in his career was the black comedy “Very Bad Things” a polar opposite of this film, which clearly sparked in him a taste for action movies, especially seen by the films like “The Kingdom” and “Battleship” which followed in the wake of this film and here crafts a confident and flashy action comedy which with its treasure hunting subplot also seemingly is trying to work within a similar mould to the Indiana Jones movies. Berg though ensures that the film hits the ground running with a brutal club fight when a collection doesn’t go as smoothly as Beck would like and from here the pace never lets up the film continues at a breezy pace, effortless combining scenes of comedy with bone crunching action, with Johnson proving himself equally at home with either style, while Scott provides most of the laughs as he plays the sort of goofball sidekick that Johnny Knoxville has been for the best part of his acting career been trying to play with decidedly mixed results and even though is essentially the same kind of double act we saw in “Bullet Proof Monk”. Also on comedy relief is Ewan Bremner who no doubt most of us remember as Spud from Trainspotting, than any of his other random roles and here seems to be have been included only because American audiences find the Scottish accent insanely funny or so it would seem, especially considering that its this kind of thinking that gave Shrek (something else I don’t get the appeal of) a Scottish accent.

Certainly what really helps this film though is the huge advantage of casting Walken as its Villain, who here truly is on scene chewing duties as he manages to invoke the same kind of presence that he had in “King of New York” were he doesn’t need to rely on random of acts of violence to seem imposing and like Frank in that film, he has his group of thugs enforce his will should anyone wish to test him, which in this case is a group of bullwhip welding heavies. Meanwhile his income is supplied through forcing the local villagers to dig in his mines for gold, something which I have a feeling was more the result of a rewrite in the production process, even more so when his mines have more the look of a blood diamond mine, which is what I assume he was originally mining for. Still this is Walken at his villainous best, so that when he steps up to a towering man mountain like Johnson (even more so outside of the ring), he still retains an intimidating error and one of someone very much in control of the situation, even though Beck could no doubt despatch of Hatcher with the minimum amount of ease, Hatcher’s status within this village as a tyrant means that he raised well before his own limitations and it’s a role sold perfectly by Walken.

Beck though is far from your traditional action hero, seeing how he shuns the use of guns and would prefer to diplomatically work things out with his foes, rather than just using his fists, as seen during the opening confrontation, were after his initial attempts to reason with the football player he’s been set to collect from result in a drink to the face, normal cue to said football player to be introduced to alittle badass dentistry, but instead Beck walks away and phone his bosses to try and find another way to handle the situation, only to then be forced into unleashing his badass side which as we will see throughout the film is never a good thing for those crossing Beck. However bizarrely there is no real reason given for why Beck handles his business like this or why he hates guns, with the only reason being given is the idea that seemingly Beck is only in his current line of work to help fund his restaurant dream. Beck however as would see with the later action movies Johnson has made, is the same kind of softly softly action hero that his future similar roles would be cast from and the sort of badass that Vin Diesel likes to play, were with their size they appear dominating yet are more happy to avoid confrontation were they can and either reason or intimidate those who get in their way, before resorting to a good old fashioned ass kicking when that fails.

Looking back at this film it is now easy to see how Johnson made the leap from wrestler to actor, even more so with the bold career choices which followed such as his lead role in “Southland Tales”, making it all the more of a shame that most people seem to be more interested in his later films when he changed his name and became a full time actor than these early films which only makes it more of a shame especially when they are missing out on the generally fun times this film provides, while it’s Indiana Jones style elements make me wish that it had gotten a sequel, but for now we have to contend with just this one adventure while being left to dream as to what could have been.

Jingle All The Way

Title: Jingle All The Way
Director: Brian Levant
Released: 1996
Staring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad, Jake Lloyd, James Belushi

Plot: Howard (Schwarzenegger) is a workaholic mattress salesman who constantly disappoints his son Jamie (Lloyd), but after missing his karate graduation he sets out to make things up to him by getting him an action figure of his favourite TV superhero “Turbo Man”. Unfortunately it is also the must have toy that everyone is keen to get their hands on as he now finds himself in a mad dash across town to find one, while finding himself especially in competition with mail man Myron (Sinbad) who is also out to find himself a Turbo man doll.



Review: Well tis the season once again be merry or for those of us who work in retail, the season to try and survive as if anything is guaranteed to bring out the crazies it is Christmas and it is only fitting that someone would finally get around to making a film about the sheer consumerism of Christmas yet alone the rush to hunt down that must have toy and the random act of violence amongst shoppers which usually accompany this pursuit.

FMarking the start of Arnie’s bronze period of film making, which saw a sharp decline in the quality of films he was making, with the majority of these films being of such poor quality they would no doubt have going DTV had it not been for his still relatively strong star power still being able to bring in the box office dollars. Looking back at this film it now serves almost as a warning of what was to come before his retirement from acting to pursue his new career as the govenator and while it is certainly in no way as bad as the likes of “Batman and Robin” or “End of Days”, it is still a film best viewed as a piece of mindless holiday cheese rather than trying to compare it to any of the films from his golden period, especially when it features Arnie trying to tackle another comedic performance, especially when he is not exactly renown for his comedy timing.

Right from the start the film essentially sets its tone, especially as we get to see Arnie attempting to pull off with some limited degree of success a crane kick with his sons karate belt wrapped around his head. Still considering the spoilt little shit he has for a son played here by future Anakin Skywalker Jake Llyod, who lets not forget is renowned for pulling a strop and quit acting over being teased for his role in Star Wars, yet bizarrely not for this film?? Still with a moody kid like this you kind of realise why Howard spends so much time at the office. Still seeing how running out on your family is hardly the most festive of viewing we instead get this madcap rush around the city, as Howard continually gets foiled in his attempts to get hold of the doll, while being shadowed by the madcap mail man Myron, because it is never enough to have just once blundering attempt at comedic, especially when you can have two! However despite the questionable comedic talents of Arnie and Sinbad, the first hour of this movie is still pretty entertaining, especially as they go from one ludicrous situation to the next, ranging from an out of control lottery to a showdown with an army of shady Santa’s in their less than kosher workshop. Sadly this is essentially thrown away in the final half hour, as plausibility is completely thrown out of the window in order for Arnie to engage in various super powered mishaps when he is mistaken for the guy playing Turbo man in the wintertainment parade, while the film turns into stilton.

I guess for myself one of the big surprises here is the distinct lack of a big evil, for there is no corrupt toy executive or money grabbing TV executive to foil, but instead the closest we get is Howard’s superdad and generally smug next door neighbour Ted (Hartman) who essentially represents his mirror opposite, let alone committing the ultimate evil of daring to put the star on Howard’s tree!! As you can tell he’s a real twisted SOB and did I mention he also baked festive cookies!! Okay he does also creepily attempt to seduce Howard’s wife Liz (Wilson) aswell, but perhaps because of this lack of villainy on offer here, that it could explain why the character of Myron is so frenzied let alone the fact he hinders Howards attempts to get hold of a turbo man doll almost as much as he unwittingly assists him, with the idea of Myron as a badguy only further enforced by the ludicrous finale were he dresses up as Turbo Man’s arch enemy dementor. Perhaps if Joe Pesci the original casting choice for the role has taken on the part it would perhaps have been more recognisable as to which side he stands on. Infact some of the most villainous behaviour in the film is at the hands of Howard who not only attempts to steal the Turbo man ted has bought for his son, but also almost burns down his house and punches out his reindeer and this of course is the same guy we are supposed to be rooting for.

Had the film not randomly switched modes into full on slapstick with its last half hour, perhaps it would be a film remembered more fondly but as it stands this last half hour is just so over the top, it generally detracts from the more enjoyable first hour. Meanwhile it unwittingly manages to ride the message of the materialism of Christmas rather than a more traditionally wholesome message, which it kind of attempts with the ending, only for it to essentially make you wonder why Howard bothered in the first place. Still in many ways the film is now kind of twee throwback to the mad season rampages which seem to be happen less these days, especially in these times were todays most wanted gift is nothing but a mouse click away. If anything though this film proves that thanks to Arnie’s raw charm even the most flawed plotting and questionable direction choices can still make for enjoyable yet still highly disposable fun even if the message given by the film is more than a little questionable.

Predator

Title: Predator

Director: John McTiernan

Released: 1987

Staring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham, Richard Chaves, Shane Black, Elpidia Carrillo, Kevin Peter Hall

Plot: An elite Special Forces team lead by Dutch (Schwarzenegger) are sent on a rescue mission deep in guerrilla territory in Central America, unaware that his team are soon being hunted for sport by an extraterrestrial hunter.

Review: Another film from Arnie’s Golden period, this time towards the end of this career period, yet still showcasing all the usual trademarks I.E: One liners, cigars and a healthy dose of OTT action sequences, it is also one of my favourite Arnie movies and perhaps only rivaled by “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” for the number one spot, especially seeing how he is shown here at the peak of his career having established himself as a household name for 80’s action, a reputation he more than lives up to here.

Originally inspire by a joke regarding who Rocky would fight next following the release of “Rocky IV” were it seemed that he had run out of earthly opponents and hence meaning his next opponent would have to be an alien. Needless to say this was all the inspiration that writers Jim and John Thomas would need for their debut (aswell as thier best seeing how they would also be responsible for the likes of cinematic trash like “Wild Wild West”) script which was originally titled “Hunter”. Bizarrely Jean-Claude Van Damme was originally cast at the titular predator whose original design was that of an alien ninja, but proved to be a lot more clumsy than the now familiar Predator design created by Stan Winston with additional imput from James Cameron who would be responsible for the new look Predator design gaining a set of Mandibles, with the new design being commissioned after a frustrated Van Damme, tired of overheating in the clumsy original suit head butted a cameraman before storming off set and leaving the door open for  the 7’2 Kevin Peter Hall to take over the role and bringing the new look creature to life, while the voice was provided by Peter Cullen who is probably best known for voicing Optimus Prime and Winnie-the-Pooh’s Eeyore.

The film itself is a classic slice of 80’s action, especially considering that Dutch’s team are supposed to be a covert unit, yet not one of them is armed with a subtle weapon between them from Poncho’s (Chaves) grenade launcher to the memorable Minigun “Ol’ Painless” welded by Blain (Ventura) and in many ways they could be seen as the blueprint for the “The Expendables”, especially with their OTT antics as they clear out a guerrilla encampment, with Arnie spitting out some of his best one liners with nearly each bad guy he dispatches in what is possibly one of his best action sequences ever. Still up until this point the film is very much a men on a mission style movie, which is only given the sci-fi twist after this point with the introduction of the Predator. No doubt its a twist which would have been more effective back when the film was originally released than it is now, were the Predator like the xenomorph’s in “Alien” have become such iconic creations that you would be hard pushed to find someone who is still surprised to see the appearance of the Predator. Still it is a flawless switch in genres as the hunters soon become the hunted, with the technological advances and early nods to the warrior code of the Predator giving the film a nice twist, especially when the group are forced to resort to guerrilla tactics to defeat their foe, after memorably and downright bizzarely exhausting their ammo supplies shooting up a small section of empty jungle, not once to really question what exactly they are supposed to be shooting at in yet another classic moment of 80’s excess.   

This comparison to “The Expendables” can also be carried over to the rest of Dutch’s crew whom are mainly played by action heroes of the era with Weathers, Duke and Landham all having appeared in other 80’s action movies, meanwhile Shane Black who appears as the groups comic relief Hawkins was mainly cast to keep an eye on director McTiernan who’d previously only directed one feature previous to being given this film and whose inexperience in the directors chair worried producer Joel Silver, though ultimately history would show that this would be unheeded especially when McTiernan would go on from this film to direct the equally epic “Die Hard” while Black would use the time to work on his script for “The Last Boy Scout”. Still it would be a real baptism of fire of McTiernan into big budget action movies especially after his misfire of a debut “Nomads”, with the cast and crew having to deal with cold temperatures of the surrounding jungle which required heat lamps to be used at all times, while frequently working on rough terrain. Equally problematic was the new Predator design meaning that Hall was working blind, leading to numerous occasions during the final showdown between Arnie and the predator were he was hitting him in the face by accident. Unsurprisingly Hall would remember the experience as being more of a “survival story” with even McTiernan breaking his wrist during filming.

Unsurprisingly being an 80’s action movie, the gore quota is unrestrained here with skinned bodies hanging from trees, exploding bloody holes shot through characters and a weighty body count (mainly at the hands of Arnie) all being the order of the day. However despite the graphic nature of these scenes, the film is still for the most part largely restrained and only gives the audience its graphic moments when realistically needed rather than just because McTernan can.

What truly makes this film so effective though is the soundtrack composed by Alan Silvestri, whose manages to effectively control the mood throughout with the film using two distinct styles throughout, with Dutch’s team being represented by the heavily orchestral moments of score which holds a processes a real military feel to it, while the predator is represented by heavy tribal drumming whose intensity, frequently grows the closer the creature is and suitably builds a natural sense of tension, with these two styles effectivly being combined when we witness both Dutch and the predator preparing for their final showdown. Still Silvestri's soundtrack would prove to be highly influential and it's influence can still be heard in modern action movies today.

To view the film as a solo entry, it is hard to see how the Predator managed to spawn such a franchise, especially when it works so well as a stand alone film and while they continue to try and find a way to make the Aliens vs. Predator franchise work the Predator films have turned into a fairly decent trilogy and one which can certainly hold its own against the Alien saga, even if if never achieved the same level of scope. Still this film remains a stone cold classic and one of those rare occasions in film making were everything just works. Yes it's loud and dumb....but by god is it alot of fun!!

The Running Man

Title: The Running Man
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Released: 1987
Staring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson, Yaphet Kotto, Marvin J. McIntyre, Mick Fleetwood, Professor Toru Tanaka, Gus Rethwisch, Jesse Ventura, Jim Brown, Erland Van Lidth, Dweezil Zappa

Plot: After being framed for a massacre he tried to prevent Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger), escapes from prison with two members of the underground resistance William (Kotto) and Harold (McIntyre). Plotting to escape the country he soon finds himself drawing the attention of Damon Killian (Dawson) who soon is pulling the strings to line up Ben and his friends as the latest contestants on his hit show “The Running Man” were they will be given a change to win their freedom, providing they can survive that is.




Review: Made at the tail end of his action films period before he moved onto more lighter subject matter, “The Running Man” for one reason or another seems to be frequently forgotten when fans reel of their favourite Arnie movies, which is a shame as it has all the trademarks of his Golden years I.E: One liners, cigars and a healthy dose of OTT action sequences, all of which are present and accounted for here, as well as the usual excuses for Arnie to show off his super strength. So if it ticks so many boxes why then is it so frequently overlooked? Sure that I was rating it so highly, due to the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia clouding my opinion I knew it was time to revisit what I honest belive is an underated classic.

Set in the near future of 2025 America, the film has the look of the majority of the 80’s post apocalyptic movies and when combined with a dated electro score by Harold Faltermeyer who with his synthesiser soundtracked some of the most iconic movies of the 80’s and it’s that same period were the score along with so many of this film keeps it firmly as a piece of classic 80’s nostalgia, while furthering the myth that the 80’s were better than they actually were. Still the idea of reality TV pushed to the extremes being explored in the film, feels only all the more relevant now, than it did upon the films release, with reality shows in recent years seeing contestants living on a rubbish dump as well as seeing who can stay awake for a week without sleep and with producers only continuing to scrape the barrel for ideas and push the boundaries of good taste, so how long is it before we see convicted criminals being executed for general entertainment?

It would seem that aswell as reality shows in 2025, society has also become a lot more obsessed with violence not only with the titular game show but also in a brief scene from “Climbing for Dollars” in which contests climb a rope to grab easy cash, while attack dogs jump eagerly directly below them, while a framed poster in Damon’s office advertising “The Hate Boat” only further emphasises the general mood of this alternative America, with TV being used as a general distraction from the failings of the government, giving TV Executives like Damon a power comparable to that of the government, as they essentially tell the masses what they should think and believe, even more emphasised by his audience shouting out their declaration of love for him at the start of the show and showering the audience with prizes to only further reinforce their material love for him. Still the casting of Dawson as Damon is an inspired piece of casting comparable to that of casting Jerry Springer in “Citizen Verdict” (2003), especially with Dawson being best known as the host of “Family Feud” and “Family Fortune” with his game show host persona jacked up to another level here, as Dawson is clearly having a blast playing Damon, as he plays the audience with smiles while having a truly ruthless side off camera, aswell as being the only baddie to have a comeback for Arnie’s trademark “I’ll be Back” in which he calmly responds with “Only in a rerun” which could honestly be one of my favourite moments of the film.

Plot wise the film rumbles along at a quick place, soon becoming a two thread story, as the action shifts between Ben and Co. as they make their way through the zones, facing off against the various stalkers, with the second main thread concerning Damon and his production team as they struggle to maintain control on the show, especially when Ben takes on a cult status with the audience who are soon backing him to win, rather than backing any of the shows stalkers with Ben inspiring the masses to fight against the brainwashing media and start thinking for themselves.

The cast outside of Arnie are all pretty much cult actors, with the majority of them getting their most recognisable roles, before slinking back into obscurity as is the case with the majority of the “Stalkers” with the only two perhaps recognisable for the more cult obsessed movie goer as is the case of Tanaka (still no idea what he is a professor of though) and more the more noteworthy Van Lidth, who is probably most memorable as the monstrous leader of “The Baldies” in the frequently over looked “The Wanderers” (1979) and here turns up as the opera singing Dynamo and who also seemingly drew the short straw when it came to costuming seeing how he is essentially a walking Christmas tree, while the other stalkers all get costumes more suiting of their personalities from Sub Zero’s (Tanaka) Psycho ice hockey gear, complete with razor sharp hockey stick to the road warrior Esq. get up of the chainsaw obsessed Buzzsaw (Rethwisch).

Gore wise it is surprisingly light, with only a couple of graphic deaths via barbed wire as well as an exploding head and while most of the gore is implied it still remains satisfying even if it’s holding back on some of the more gruesome moments, yet manages to convince the audience that they aren’t being short changed at the same time, which isn’t the easiest of things to pull off, especially when you consider how enthusiastic 80’s cinema was and even more so when it came to gore and violence.

It might bare much of a resemblance to the source novel, but the same could be said for “The Shining”, whose adaptation by Kubrick is frequently named amongst the best adaptations of Stephen King’s novels, unlike the more faithful and Stephen King approved adaptation by Mick Garris and here Glaser makes the smart choice of reeling in the scope of the novel for a more tight and restrained feel and all the more to max the talents of the assembled cast, while making the stalkers more like Gladiators with celebrity status, helps keep the action easy to follow especially with each of the stalkers having their own unique personality, it helps keep the action scenes fresh with each stalker posing their own challenges, unlike the novel who only had the one named hunter aswell as its gung-ho ending which now has unintentional echoes of 9/11.
It might lack subtly but didn’t all the best films of Arnie’s career and it might be more of the same, but it’s certainly not the worse and should definatly be ranked amongst his best, even if it doesn’t have the same cult following that some of the other key titles in his back catalogue have, one thing is clear and it's that everything else pretty much sucked about the 80's atleast they could make a decent action movie as this clearly proves.