American Ninja

Title: American Ninja

Director: Sam Firstenberg

Released: 1985

Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson, Guich Koock, John Fujioka, Don Stewart, John LaMotta, Tadashi Yamashita, Phil Brock, David Vlok

Plot: Joe Armstrong (Dudikoff) a drifter conscripted into the U.S. Army to avoid going to prison finds himself drawing on his ninjutsu training when his unit are caught up in a plot to steal weapons from the army being carried out by the Black Star Order of Ninjas.

Review: A standout title for Cannon films which would inturn spawn a further four sequels as here they once more attempt to cash in on the Ninja trend which itself was less focused on any kind of historical accuracy and instead more focused on the look of the Ninja outfit and general excuse to wheel out all kinds of fun gadgets and weapons.

Here Michael Dudikoff plays Joe a loner who has been trained in the ways of Ninjutsu from birth which certainly comes in handy when he’s required to pulls out these skills throughout the film and despite not being a trained martial artist tapped into the James Dean vibe that Cannon films wanted after audiences struggled to get on board with the idea of a female ninja in the equally cult “Ninja 3: The Domination”. Certainly Dudikoff nails that James Dean persona of the loner with a chip on their shoulder but then here Dudikoff is far from the most expressive of actors and for some reason seems to have the same expression throughout. Even at the end were he is the hero surveying the smouldering remains of the battlefield does he not crack a smile and instead maintains the same gruff expression.

Thankfully what he might lack in expressions he does make up for in terms of his abilities as an action star even though he didn’t have any martial arts skills at the time of filming unlike his co-star Steve James which turned into something of an issue between the two with Dudikoff not wanting to be shown up with James requesting that his fight scenes be filmed on the opposite side of the compound to Dudikoff to avoid further problems. The pair would eventually squash their issues halfway through the production but watching the film you could easily believe that Dudikoff was a trained martial artist especially when you look at scenes like the sparing session between Dudikoff and James. James though makes for a great co-star and much more than a sidekick which is character had originally been written as and thanks to James changing a lot of the dialogue which was one of the main conditions of him agreeing to do the film and certainly it makes him much more of his own heroic character especially during the final showdown were he gets to fight his own battle.

The action throughout while perhaps lacking in any kind of logic especially when you get multicoloured ninja’s but it still manages to be enjoyable as a popcorn action flick and with it’s high bodycount and especially during the finale which features a ninja vs ninja showdown between Dudikoff and the head ninja played by Tadashi Yamashita in a fight which is a mixture of the pair trading Ninja gadgets (which include wrist lasers!!) while simultaneously engaging in an obstacle course. Needless to say this film more than delivers in mindless fun.

Perhaps having some kind of expectation going into this film, seeing how its an American Ninja movie perhaps made me view this in a more forgiving light, but when approached with the view point of just having fun with the movie it certainly delivers while the tight runtime which dedicates a large portion to action scenes equally helps and really makes me keen to see what else the series has to offer.

Heavy Metal

Title: Heavy Metal

Director: Gerald Potterton

Released: 1981

Starring: Rodger Bumpass, John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Alice Playten, Harold Ramis, Percy Rodriguez, Richard Romanus, John Vernon

Plot: An anthology of tales adapted from the pages of the mature comic book “Heavy Metal”

Review: For those not familiar with the mature comic “Heavy Metal” it's no doubt a publication best known for its focus on fantasy and sci-fi stories which are presented with a healthy dose of nudity, violence, drugs and erotica. It’s also a comic which interestingly is also owned by Kevin Eastman who lets not forget was also responsible for giving the world the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

The film itself is a bumper collection of nine tales tied together by a mysterious green orb called the Loc-Nar which also describes itself as “the sum of all evils” and as we soon discover has been responsible for influencing societies throughout time and space while usually bringing misfortune to those who encounter it. Each story has its own distinctive style from the “Sin City” style noir of the opening story “Harry Canyon” through to the ultra violent barbarian fantasies of “Den” and “Taarna” which makes it an easy film to get into especially as if you don’t like one story its not long till you move onto a new one.

Directed by Gerald Potterton who is no doubt best known for his work as an animator on arguably the best Beatles movie “Yellow Submarine” here his style is just as experimental incorporating elements of rotoscoping aswell as a distinctive hand drawn animated style which brings to mind the work of Ralph Bakshi. More so when characters frequently can be found engaging in some form of bad or deviant including (but certainly not limited to) a pair of alien pilots snorting mile long lines of coke off the floor of their spaceship.

While the animation style might look a little more dated there is still unquestionably a charm to this hand drawn style of animation and it perfectly suits the stories being told much like the voice cast who might be surprising to see attached to this film and no doubt the result of Ivan Reitman being attached as the producer, but they all really play their roles well with John Candy’s voice work in particular really left me wishing that he had done more voice work as here he really shows a talent for it.

Adding to the action is a classic rock soundtrack which thankfully forgoes the usual obvious choices and instead gives us lesser known tracks from the likes of Cheap Trick, Grand Funk Railroad and Sammy Hagar which really is the kind of soundtrack you want when you open your film with a Corvette being driven out of a spaceship and landing on Earth by it’s astronaut driver (or should that be pilot). Still regardless of the setting of each story the soundtrack somehow works well with the onscreen action, though frustratingly one of the stories being cut due to production delays meant that we lost “Time” by Pink Floyd from the soundtrack.

It’s true that due to the voyeuristic style throughout the film which much like its source material is not something that will suit all tastes, but if you liked the brash style of “Sin City” you will no doubt find this film very much its kindred spirit. Yes it’s rude, foul mouthed and seemingly devoid of even the most base morals but at the same time it’s so much fun that it’s hard to draw too much of an issue with it’s frequently outlandish world view and for fans of adult animation, especially those who came up through the anime boom of the late 80’s and early 90’s will no doubt get a kick out this one.

Return of the One-Armed Swordsman

Title: Return of the One-Armed Swordsman

Director: Chang Cheh

Released: 1969

Starring: Jimmy Wang Yu, Lisa Chiao Chiao, Chung Wa, Cheng Lui, Hoh Ban, Tien Feng, Ku Feng, Tung Li, Tong Gai, Lau Kar-wing, Lau Kar-leung, Yuen Cheung-Yan, Ti Lung, Wang Kuang-yu, Wu Ma, Fong Yau

Plot: Following on from the events of the first film Fang Gang (Wang Yu) the One Armed Swordsman has been living in peace with his wife, happily carving out a life for himself as a farmer. However its a short lived peace when the Eight Sword Kings a band of tyrannical sword masters arrive with plans to dominate the rival schools. Now recruited by the students of the local schools whose teachers have all been captured by the Eight Sword Kings, he must come out of retirement to stop them.

Review: Reuniting the original director and star of the Shaw Bros classic for this direct sequel to the original film which manages the rare accolade of being better than the original which spent most of its run time having Fang Gang trying to deal with losing his sword hand before mastering his left handed fighting style and ultimately defeating the long-armed devil.

With the setup handled by the first film director Chang Cheh wastes little time in throwing the audience into the action as we are quickly introduced to the members of the Eight Sword Kings who all come with their own unique weapon reflective of their name such as “Mighty Blade” who welds a giant to handed sword and “Thousand Blade” who is not only the only female member of the group but also welds numerous throwing knifes which she hides in the sleeves of her robe. The real strength of the villains of this film though is just how cunning they are with their planning, as they start by holding a tournament to capture and kill off the top fighters of the surrounding schools and essentially leaving them exposed. To further rub salt in the wounds of their enemies they demand that the students cut off their sword arms or risk their teachers being killed.

Of course despite all this happening Fang Gang is initially reluctant to pick up his sword again as he is content living a life of peace, only for the students to eventually convince him to take on the Sword Kings who soon come looking for him regardless as they dispatch the black and white swordsmen to take him out. From here though it seems that Sword Kings unleash a constant wave of henchmen at Fang Gang and the students as they make their way to the fort which the Sword Kings have captured for their base of operations as here Chang Cheh ramps up the energy of the film so that it feels that a fight scene is never far from happening at any given point in the film.

This increase in action and pacing really helps the film, especially when one of my main criticisms of the original film was just how plodding it felt throughout, which certainly isn’t an issue here, more so when the villains all have their own unique fight style making you wonder how Fang Gang will beat each one. At the same time many of these battles with the Sword Kings are mass brawls with numerous combatants fighting at the same time which somehow manages to still look clean without key characters being lost in the fray. For those who like their Kung fu bloody this film certainly has plenty to offer with the violence quota being cranked up from the first film and the heroes all dressing for some reason in white robes the violence is only accentuated where possible throughout the film and while you might think that you’d hot a point where seeing countless combatants being reduced to bloody heaps it surprisingly never comes.

While perhaps this might be far from the most subtle entry in the Shaw Bros. Catalogue its so much fun and packed with Chang Cheh’s usual style and energy that your hardly going to complain especially when it’s this much fun.

The One-Armed Swordsman

Title: One-Armed Swordsman

Director:  Chang Cheh
Released:  1967
Starring: Jimmy Wang, Lisa Chiao Chiao, Tien Feng, Angela Pan, Yeung Chi-hing, Tang Ti, Fan Mei-sheng, Wong Sai-git, Cheng Pooi-saan

Plot: Fang Kang (Jimmy Wang) a student at the Chi school of Golden Sword Kung Fu finds himself being driven away by a group of his fellow students in a confrontation that also cost him his arm. Developing a one armed style of swordplay he is soon called out of exile when he learns of a plot by the bandit Long Armed Devil (Yeung Chi-hing) to kill his master Qi Ru Feng (Tien Feng)

Review:  Another legendry Chang Cheh film this first “One-Armed Swordsman” movie would go on to inspire several sequels, a cross over with Zatochi while also being remade by Tsui Hark as “The Blade” in 1995. The film is equally noteworthy for being the first in a new breed of Wuxia movies which saw more of a focus on violent and frequently bloody swordplay something which this film more than delivers on. This film was also the first film to make over one million at the Hong Kong Box office.

From the start its clear that things aren’t exactly going well for Fang Kang seeing how his fellow student resent him for his poor background with his master having token him on as a student to repay Fang Kang’s father for sacrificing himself to save him during the opening attack by the bandit Long Armed Devil and his followers. Fang Kang however is as honourable as his father and makes plans to leave the school to avoid any potential trouble to his master despite the fact that Qi Ru Feng seeming has no problem with having his as a student.  

For some unknown reason Fang’s fellow student are not quite content with driving him out of the school as he runs into a trio of them while walking away from the school lead by his master’s daughter Pei Er (Angela Pan) who fail in their attempts to attack him but not before Pei Er cuts his arm off in a fit of rage. What is surprising about him losing his arm is that it’s not to the villain he will inevitably have to face in the finale but more of an accident seeing how the crucial blow is struck afer he refuses to first Pei Er.

Taken in by local peasant girl Xiao Man (Lisa Chiao Chiao) whose boat he falls into while staggering away from the fight which just cost him his arm and soon she will also proves to be the source of his redemption as he is forced into exile. Interestingly despite having every reason to set out on a quest for revenge against the student who cost him his arm Fang Kang instead chooses to focus on living a life of peace as he learns how to fish with one arm, while also with the help of a half burned manual develops a one armed swordfighting style to get him out his spiral of depression as he views himself as being a “useless cripple” which he no longer feels with this new and surprisingly stronger style while also making plans with Xiao Man to become a farmer.

Of course things don’t go to plan as Fang Kang finds himself having to rescue Pei Er from the bandits when they kidnap her, while he is ultimately set on course to return to his former school and save his master from Long Armed Devil. The twist here being that Long Armed Devil and his men have developed a sword which has a “Sword Lock” which cannot be beaten by the Golden Sword Kung Fu style. Of course Fang Kang now a left handed swordsman proves to be the one man who can defeat Long Armed Devil and his followers.

Chang Cheh once again really gives us something different with the fight scenes are these are far from frenzied hack em up’s with each fight scene being played like a violent game of chess with each competitor looking for their spots and the result gives them a much more intense feeling to them while looking stunning to watch, even if they don’t contain any of the artistic flair of a film like “Hero” while Cheh makes even the less skilled members of the cast somehow look good here.

While the plot could easily have turned this film into a simple tale of revenge, the journey which Fang Kang goes through here is really where the interesting aspects of the film lye. True the film does sag slightly in the middle and perhaps as a result it could have benefited from some trimming off the run time. Still this film’s status amongst the classics of the Shaw Bros. catalogue is well deserved and making it one certainly worth checking out.

Why Don't You Play In Hell

Title: Why Don’t You Play In Hell

Director: Sion Sono
Released: 2013
Starring: Jun Kunimura, Shinichi Tsutsumi, Fumi Nikaido, Tomochika, Hiroki Hasegawa, Gen Hoshino

Plot: Ten years ago, the Kitagawa yakuza clan led an assault against rival don Muto (Kunimura), which saw Muto’s wife (Tomochika) being imprisoned. The retaliation for this attack would leave the Kitagawa clan in ruins and their top hitman Ikegmai (Tsutsumi) wounded. Muto however was left more concerned that his daughter Mitsuko’s tootpaste commercial was axed due to his criminal activities being exposed. Now Ikegami has taken over the Kitagawa clan vowing revenge, while Muto is more concerned about the imminent release of his wife and for her to see Mitsuko (Nikaido) star in her first movie. Here we meet “The Fuck Bombers” and enthusiastic group of wannabe filmmakers, whose dreams stretch well beyond their means who find themselves drawn into a madcap scheme to film the climactic battle between the two Yakuza clans.

 

Review: Right now having read the plot for this movie, you no doubt been left scratching you head as to how any of it could possibly make any kind of sense, much like the prospect I once more found myself in how I could actually start to review this movie. This is film making not for the faint hearted while at the same time this remains too much of a fascinating film to not attempt to get some form of thoughts down.

I first heard about this film through Jess over at "French Toast Sunday" and which is based on a screenplay written by director Sion Sono 15 years ago it feels almost like a tribute to sort of Yakuza epic he perhaps dreamed of making as a younger film maker, while he describes it as “an action film about the love of 35mm” making it as much of a film about the love of film making as it is of the Yakuza dramas it parodies.

Opening with the young Misuko performing in her toothpaste commercial which it soon becomes clear as the film progresses forms the unusual epicentre of this universe, as even ten years after it was axed it remains a shared memory with characters frequently bursting into spontaneous enactments of the commercial whenever mentioned. At the same time we are also introduced to the fuck bombers led by the eternally enthusiastic Hirata (Hasegawa) whose bring a who new meaning to the word Guerrilla filmmaker as they shot on the fly, incorporating anything they find of interest into their film projects which generally resemble budget remakes of Bruce Lee movies. This is of course we see the young Mitsuko stumbling into the aftermath of a failed Yakuza attack and the bodies of the gangsters her mother has just recently dispatched off, the floor filled with blood which suddenly turns into a warped slip and slide. This essentially is the getting off point for the film as things certainly only get weirder and more random from this point onwards.

While the film is multi-threaded in its construction for the most part it resolves around Misuko who in the ten years which have passed as gone from being a sweet little girl into a rebellious teen who having run away from one film production, now heads off again picking up the wide eyed Koji (Hoshino) to play her pretend boyfriend and later to pass off to her father as the only director she will work with despite not knowing the first thing about movie making. While Sono could have easily based the film around his feisty leading lady, his ambition much like the Fuck Bombers is seemingly limitless, as he finds times to work in ample time for the various other subplots at play such as Ikegmai taking over as head of his yakuza clan who he’s changed from their tailored suits to instead favouring komodo’s through to the Fuck Bombers who are just about ready to call time on their dream as the group is faced with the reality that they aren’t going to make the masterpiece they feel they are destined to make only to soon find themselves the answer to Koji’s prayers.

The film moves with such frenzied pace it hard to believe that the film has the generous run time, while some might be a little frustrated that the film spends the first thirty minutes setting the film up only to then skip ten years into the future. Sono however shoots the film with such high energy and inventiveness it envelops you to the point where you never question the frequently illogical or more surreal moments that are scattered throughout the film. True these moments have frequently been the trademark of Soto’s films

Needless to say the real draw here is the anarchic finale which has rightfully drawn comparisons to Kill Bill’s house of blue leaves showdown, even though here it is certainly not shot with any of the artistic flair that Yuen Wo Ping brought with his fight choreography, but instead here Sono aims for frenzied enthusiasm as blood flies in arterial sprays, limbs lopped off and a body count which easily goes into double figures as he finds ever more inventive ways for the two rival yakuza to dispatch each other. While all this is going on we also have Hirata screaming directions and even stopping an opening skirmish and requesting that everyone go back to their places so that he can reshoot it. Unquestionably it’s an exciting sequence and one only held back by the use of CGI for most of the blood effects.

Easily one of the more accessible films in the directors back catalogue, this is a truly unique and high energy entry point to his work, while it stands truly on its own merits for its fierce originality as it remains another film to be experienced to truly appreciate what could certainly be considered one of the most fiercely original films of recent years.

Machete Kills

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Machete Kills
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Released: 2013

Staring: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Plot: Following on from the events of the original film, Machete is put on the path of revenge when his girlfriend Sartana (Jessica Alba) is killed by a mysterious masked man while attempting to capture weapons dealers supplying the Mexican drug cartels. Now recruited by President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, here appearing as Carlos Estevez) with the promise of citizenship, Machete is sent to eliminate Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) who is currently threatening to fire a nuclear missile at the White House.  Soon however Machete discovers that the mysterious masked man might also be linked to the plot aswell.

Review: For a film which started out as a joke trailer in the financial misfire (yet critically acclaimed) “Grindhouse”, Machete has turned into quite the trilogy while at the same time certainly doing no harm for Danny Trejo’s stock. Launching him from token bad guy to recognisable leading man as in the wake of the original “Machete” it seemed that everyone couldn’t get enough of the former bare knuckle boxing champion of San Quentin and young offender councillor. Needless to say it was only a matter of time before director Robert Rodriguez gave the world a follow up to his cult favourite.

While the original film might have been the tale of a badass seeking revenge after he is double crossed by his employers, this film decides to spin the franchise off in a new direction as Machete here takes on more of a “XXX” style spy role as he dashes for the border with Marcos, who has hardwired the nuke to his heart and eventually sets out to foil the Bond villain esq schemes of the “Star Wars” obsessed weapons manufacturer Luther Voz (Mel Gibson).  It’s a certainly an intresting change of pace and one which actually benefited the film, especially when the original always felt that it was being hampered by being built around its fake trailer and as such was just finding a way to link each of the trailers set pieces together.

This time taking sole ownership of the director’s chair having previously co-directed the original with his long term editor Ethan Maniquis, this time it is truly Rodriguez’s film and one which certainly finds him a playful mood once again, as he aims to maintain the Neo-Grindhouse aesthetic from the fake opening trailer for “Machete Kills Again… In Space” and classic feature presentation title card, through to even throwing in an old school 3D sequence (yes the old blue and green glasses style) to rival his breaking film scene in “Planet Terror”. Equally at the same time this also see’s him throwing plausibility out of the window as the franchise doesn’t so much jump the shark but the whole freaking aquarium! Needless to say this is a film which like its closest comparison “XXX” works best when you’re not questioning what you’re watching and just enjoy the ride. After all there are countless movies and franchises currently obsessed with realism so what’s wrong with alittle raw escapism which is what you get here.

Having established the Mexican James Bond vibe early on Rodriguez really works it in every conceivable way, with Machete getting to utilise a number of customised machete’s including a tri-bladed model which his beauty queen liason (Amber Heard) refers to as the swiss army knife of machete’s  while still managing to keep the character every bit as gritty as he was in the first film, with Trejo with his trademark tattoos and tanned leather features fully embodies this character even more so the second time around, as he makes even Machete’s habit of referring to himself in the third person sound cool. This Bond theme also continues to the main villain here as Voz is every bit the bond villain with his scheme sounding very familiar to that of Drax’s in “Moonraker”, but despite this similarity here we get to see Mel Gibson on truly bonkers form, as he embodies the role even when engaging in a machete / sword fight while wearing a cape! Thankfully Rodriguez is one of the few people in Hollywood able to separate Gibson’s troubled personal life from the actor as he is truly one of the big draws here and perhaps only rivalled by the multiple personality antic’s of Birchir’s Mexican revolutionary Mendez whose hyper personality makes him another fun character while never pushing it so far that it becomes irritating.

Much like the first film Rodriguez has assembled a great ensemble cast to flesh out this colourful world he continues to craft here and one which see’s “Modern Family” favourite Sofia Vergara cranks up her crazy to psychotic as brothel owner Madame Desdemona who not only has her own army of prostitute assassins (a nod to Blaxploitation favourite “Dolemite” ) aswell as a twin minigun bra she refers to as her “Double D’s”. Equally game is Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga as the various faces of shape shifting assassin El Camaleón a role which not only sees Gooding Jr. giving his best performance in years, but also proving that Lady Gaga is more of an accomplished actor than first suspected, especially when I was left wanting to see more of her in this film and something which could be corrected in “Machete Kills Again…In Space” if the fake trailer is to be believed. True there are so which might argue that she has already had enough practice with the antics of her usual disco punk persona, but here she is in perfect form as she sneers her way through the film.

Upping the ante in every way possible from the first film, Rodriguez fully up the splatter as heads roll and helicopter blades especially are put to creative use on more than one occasion. The action scenes aswell are fully stepped up a number of fantastic set pieces including a “Mad Max” inspired car chase complete with George Miller style speeded up shots. Rodriguez though once again shows himself as a director with an eye for action, even if he might not be known as an action director, here he once more shows that he knows his way around a set piece and with his cousin Trejo he really does have the perfect grizzled action hero.

After the patchy “Machete” this film really steps up the fun of the first film, while correcting many of the mistakes made first time around, even if like the original it still suffers with a bloated third act. So with Sci-fi set to be the theme for the third and final part I can only imagine how Rodriguez plans on topping the madness of this film,  but if anything this film has certainly laid down a strong foundation, so leave your expectations at the door, just buy the ticket and enjoy the ride.

Ring of Steel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Ring of Steel

Director: David Frost

Released: 1994
Starring: Joe Don Baker, Carol Alt, Robert Chapin, Darlene Vogel, Gary Kasper, Jim Pirri, Don Stark, Henry Brown, Mark Arnott, Carlos Lauchu, Greg Wrangler, Axel Muench

Plot: Champion fencer Alex (Chapin) suddenly find himself blackballed from the fencing community after accidently killing an opponent during a tournament final. Now with his life in turmoil he is given a chance by a mysterious stranger (Baker) to use his fencing skills by taking part in underground swordfights.

 

Review: I don’t think I’ve had as random a viewing experience as I did watching this film since I first saw “Xtro 2: The Second Encounter”, as only then did I find myself watching a film which spectacularly fails in certain areas, only to then excel so well in others that it bizarrely manages to balance things out. Does this make for a good film? Maybe not but it does certainly make for an interesting watch to say the least.

Scripted by leading man Chapin, while being later lightened up by director Frost after the studio felt that Chapin’s script was too dark, while after seeing the film now makes it a script I would not love to read, especially after seeing how generally generic the final film turned out to be much like so many tournament martial arts movies, with the sole difference here that the focus is on swordplay rather than hand to hand combat / fighting styles. Something not overly surprising when you consider Chapin’s background (much like most of the cast) is in stage combat and swordplay role with his IMDB profile listing both “Army of Darkness” and “Hook” in his extensive list of credits, which more recently has seen him focusing more on his work in visual effects, aswell as working on his web based vampire series “The Hunted”.

As a lead Chapin is likeable enough, while certainly processing some of the most impressive swordplay skills of any of the actors here, as certainly highlighted during a playful duel between himself and Brian (Pirri), which not only pays homage to “The Court Jester” but has a great sense of fun, as the two trade sarcastic barbs while seemingly playing a game of one upmanship to see who can come up with the most flamboyant move. It is however the swordplay scenes which cover for his shortcomings as an actor, seeing how he approaches the role with a playful attitude but never seeming to be able to transfer his Errol Flynn wit from his duels to any of his other scenes when he doesn’t happen to be in a duel with another character.

The plot is pretty standard affair and none to dissimilar to the old school video game “Barbarian” (sadly without a little guy who kicks the decapitated losers head off screen) with Alex having to fight his way through the ranks to a showdown with the current champion Jack (Kasper), a meathead who seems to be taking fashion tips from “Dog the Bounty Hunter” judging on his dodgy looking mullet, which even for the early 90’s is still not a good luck. Jack for the most part makes for a half decent big evil, even if he is never quite the intimidating force that the film would like you to think he is, much like it can never truly decide who the bad guys are supposed to be seeing how it varied from Baker’s (who is always in great form) unnamed Man in Black, the devious seductress Tanya (Alt) or Jack. Frustratingly none of them other than Jack ever really committing to the position of big evil, let alone having any real kind of plan for Alex outside of forcing him to compete.

 

Thankfully there is enough action here to keep things ticking over, which is were the real appeal of the film lies, as with most of the cast coming from swordplay backgrounds and most being more known for their stunt work than acting roles and hence ensures that we get to also see a wide range of fighting styles, as Ninja’s, Gladiators and even Alex’s fencing style being used for the entertainment of the crowd, in what could essentially be seen as UFC with weapons! However despite what the title and trailer would have you believe the titular “Ring of Steel” is less of a bloodsport than the film would like you to believe it is, especially considering how there is only one death which actually occurs in a match, with the other matches featured throughout all being fought until one fighter yields to the other, something it is hard to tell if it was the result of script changes or of this was actually intentional. Meanwhile despite Alex being supposedly forced to compete in order to free his girlfriend Elena (Vogel), who is meanwhile being held hostage yet from the amount of fun and buzz he gets from competing it is hard to say he really cares either way if she ever gets set free or not, again something which appears to have been carried over from the original script which saw Alex not being able to recognise her in the original ending after he gets drawn too deep into this world he now finds himself thrust into.

Still randomness is something that film has in spades; even outside of the main plot we are still treated to scenes such as the cosplayer dressed as a barbarian who stumbles into the training session for new fighters, only to soon find himself on the wrong side of a brutal beatdown. However it doesn’t end there, as we also get possibly one of the most bizarre taunts ever, when Alex and Brian decide to taunt Jack by sending a chicken out to the ring a scene which I’ve yet to make any sense of even now as I sit here writing this review, much like the random sex scene less than 15 minutes into the film, which felt unneeded let alone misplaced appearing when it does.

True this is a film with some serious flaws and while it might linger around the ass end of okay, it is still a highly watchable film, whose swordplay angle helps to mix things up to stop it being yet another tournament movie and while the film optimistically hints at a sequel, I can’t say it is something I’m exactly in a rush to see happen anytime soon.