Showing posts with label Cross blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cross blogging. Show all posts

Friday, 23 February 2018

Island of Death

https://klling.wordpress.com/ultimate-70s-blogathon/












Title: Island of Death
Director: Nico Mastorakis
Released: 1977
Staring: Robert Behling, Jane Lyle, Jessica Dublin, Gerald Gonalons, Jannice McConnell, Nikos Tsachiridis

Plot: Christopher (Behling) and Celia (Lyle) are enjoying a break on a small Greek island, while pursuing their favourite pastimes, which unfortunately for the locals are sex and violence, meanwhile Inspector Foster (Gonalons) is hot on their heels.

Review: Probably the least well known of the video nasty list, yet arguably the most notorious seeing how it only got taken off the list here in the UK last year, still good things come to those who wait which this film might be anything but, but still I think it’s easy to say that this is possibly one of the most explicit movies to have made the list, especially as it is essentially a constant stream of soft core porn, nudity and violence, with only the most paper thin of plots to string the scenes together, which is hardly surprising when Director Mastorakis seemingly had two goals when he set out to make the movie and that was to first make himself as much money as possible, while the second was to make the most violent and perverse film possible after after being inspired by “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, well more specifically he was inspired when he found out just how much money Tobe Hooper was making from it.

Opening with Christopher buried up to his waist in what will later be revealed to be a pit of lime while Celia watches and laughs mockingly we get our first taste of Christopher’s travel documentary esq voice over which continues to appear randomly through the film as the film now cuts back to a few days earlier as Christopher and Celia arrive on the unnamed small Greek island looking like any normal happy couple. Needless to say we are just about fifteen minutes before they are having sex in a phone box while he phones their mother…..yes that’s right they are also brother and sister (though confusingly at times she is also referred to as being his cousin) and really don’t seem to care much about the incestuous nature of their relationship. So after that surprising opening, you would think that Mastorakis might have blown his load early, until Christopher having had his attempts at getting some morning fun rejected instead relives his frustration with a passing goat before graphically killing it in what is unsurprisingly the most talked about moment in the film.

This murderous duo are almost polar opposites to each other when it comes to thier motives, with Christopher murderous tendencies being drawn from his own twisted religious beliefs, making him prone to ranting about his role as the angel of purification and how his victims have sinned as he kills, while these zealot esq beliefs of course makes the residents of the island prime targets for his campaign to purify them of their sins, especially when everyone is prone to spontaneous nudity and so sexually open. Celia meanwhile plays things like his trusted accomplice though seemingly minus Christopher’s religious rants, as she sets up the majority of the murders, as Christopher voyeuristically enjoys watching her having sex and frantically photographing her in action, which seemingly seems to be the only cure for his own impotence, especially when each of the murders are usually followed by frantic sex between him and Celia and more frantic photography of their handiwork.

There is barely a moment wasted here which is not being filled with death, gore or sex or some amalgamation of the three, with the sound of a camera shutter between each scene, creating almost an unintentional feeling that each scene is like a little violent and nasty short, a feeling only further reinforced by the beyond minimal plotting on offer here, which is pretty much abandoned by the final quarter as we lead up to the moments were we first joined the murderous duo, though don’t expect anything to be any clearer by the time we get to were we first started the film, as Mastorakis instead leaps even further into the randomness void of pure cinematic insanity which has Celia making the nasty (literally in this case) with a inbred looking famer, after he beats up and farts (yes you read that right) on Christopher which is around the same point that you realise that Mastorakis really doesn’t care anymore, let alone has any idea how to end the movie.

The death scenes are all explicit and filmed with an almost voyeuristic glee, as Mastorakis unleashes a variety of interesting deaths from the traditional stalk and slash, to the slightly more creative such as a bulldozer blade and memorably using an aeroplane wing to hang one of their victims during flight. Still none of these are shot with any sense of fun are largely just gratuitous violence and gore, which frequently makes for uncomfortable viewing.

“Island of Death” is another key example of a film which made the Video nasty list and which no doubt otherwise would have long since been forgotten like so many of the titles on the list and furthering the belief that the list did more harm than anything regarding protecting the movie going public from these kinds of movies, instead providing exploitation fans and gore hounds with a shopping list of titles to hunt down. Needless to say you can go through life having not seen this film and be all the better, especially as you won’t have wasted an hour and half of your life on this film, which left me with the same feeling I had after watching “The Human Centipede” an equally ghastly experience, which equally was all shocks over substance and like this film also soon realised that it has nowhere to go and no matter how low you sink the moral standard it still doesn’t make up for the serious lack of plotting and as such, I would recommend this only for video nasty completists and celluloid curiosity seekers only.

Sunday, 4 June 2017

MBDS Showcase #49 - Dog Soldiers / Cannibal Holocaust



Fellow Brit Zoe (Zobo With A Shotgun) joins me for this latest episode to share her love of all things dark and twisted which formed the basis of her site. 

On this episode we look at British horror with Neil Marshall's "Dog Soldiers" aswell as the notorius former video nasty "Cannibal Holocaust"

We also discuss the censorship and the darker side of horror, living near horror movie sites and Zoe reveals which horror icon she'd most like to take for a pint.



You can find the full MBDS Showcase movie list here

Opening Theme: "Hyperfun" - Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/)

End Theme: "Out of Limits" - The Marketts


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Friday, 12 May 2017

Texas Chainsaw 3D



Title: Texas Chainsaw 3D
Director: John Luessenhop
Released: 2013
Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Thome Barry, Paul Rae, Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen

Plot: Picking up the shortly after the events of the original film as a group of vigilantes burn down the Sawyer family home and seemingly killing every member of the family. Decades later Heather (Daddario) finds out she has inherited a mansion from her grandmother, only to find out that it holds more than its share of secrets.


Review: A film I’d originally dismissed as another attempt to cash in on the legacy of Tobe Hooper’s breakout film and former Video Nasty which wouldn’t get a UK release until 1999. Despite this the studios have frequently been keen to milk the franchise and turn its chainsaw welding maniac into another iconic slasher figure. Due to this I had little intention of watching this film, especially after the abysmal “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining” which kill dead any potential momentum the original and surprisingly decent remake had. It was infact only after hearing Emily and Christine recommend the film on their podcast “The Feminine Critique” that I thought it was time that I finally give it a watch.

In a unique twist this film doesn’t attempt to remake the original film, but instead takes the unique move of following on directly after the Tobe Hooper original ignoring all the films which followed which if you haven't seen already director John Luessenhop helpfully spoils by giving you a highlight reel of all the best parts. True this does help bring the viewer up to speed to were he wants to start his film, but I can’t help but feel this is kind of a downer for anyone who chooses to start with this film or enters it expecting a delayed follow up to the 2003 remake. Suprisingly the film was originally pitched as a new trilogy with the films being released out of order with the first film being set in a hospital, the second film would act as a prequel and the third completing the storyline. The producers however feeling that audiences might not get the ambitious idea instead scrapped the plans in favour of the film we have now while for no discernible reason also releasing it in 3D.

Seemingly a fan of the series Luessenhop opens with a siege on the home of the family of cannibals now known as the Sawyers in a scene which not only attempts to rip off the opening siege of “The Devils Rejects” but also features some of the worse CGI fire effects ever. Still for the fans we get cameos from Marilyn Burns, the original Leatherface Gunner Hansen and Bill Moseley who played Chop Top in “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”. Having killed off the family and burned the house to the ground we now move forward to present day and the introduction of Heather and her friends as they road trip out to the mansion she’s now inherited from the grandmother she never knew she had.

Okay before I go any further lets just say that there will be a few spoilers ahead, so if any of what I have covered so far sounds interesting then give it a watch and if it didn’t well the original is always going to be there.

Right from the start its clear that Heather is far from the usual scream queen as we are shown her working in a butchers shop, carving up with almost glee meat using a bandsaw while her home she uses as a studio for her bone art. Now I’m not going to say that attractive girls can’t be Butchers or have an interest in the grotesque arts, but this is the movie world and hence nothing can usually exist without hinting at something else and the film really put as spin on the mythos as Heather slowly discovers her links to the Sawyers.

The main plot worryingly starts off perhaps alittle too similar to the original film as Heather and her friends pick up a hitchiker, or should I say they almost hit him with the fan before deciding to pick him up, something which he’s surprisingly not overly upset over since he can blag jerky off them. I was half expecting this hitchiker to have some link to the family which he doesn’t though he does attempt to steal pretty much anything that’s not nailed down when Heather her friends deem him trust worthy enough to leave at the mansion. A strange move seeing how they’ve only known him for about five mins but atleast he ends up falling foul of Leatherface so I guess theres some sort of karma there.

While the hitchiker might be a thieving SOB, her friends are equally none that brilliant as we have her douche bag boyfriend Ryan (Songz) who is off from his first introduction so it comes as little suprise to discover he’s cheating on her with her best friend Nikki (Raymonde). The sole redeaming member of the group is Kenny (Malicki-Sanchez) but he’s frustrating never given much to do making his early departure all the more sad especially when there is much more deserving victims to be had.

While this might all sound like another run of the mill slasher with the good looking teens being chased by the hideous killer, but surprisingly Luessenhop is actually trying to do something different with the mythos this time round by turning an ageing Leatherface into the blunt instrument of justice. For the first half of the film its business as usual for him but by the second half of the film were we find out about the corrupt cops in town and Heathers relationship to Leatherface has been reveals via some rather ropey quick cuts as she looks over a police report it could be seen that Leatherface wasn’t actively hunting the teen but rather defending in his own warped way his home.

Leatherface played this time by Dan Yeager really lacks the required presence that Gunnar Hansen brought to the role or just the hulking size of the 2003 version. Despite being 6’6 here he seem a lot shorter thanks to how he’s shot by Luessenhop which remove a lot of the characters daunting presence and ultimately came off a little tepid while the less said about that stupid tie he randomly puts on for the finale showdown the better. I mean is that supposed to symbolise him going to work?

The kills throughout are a lot of fun with some frustratingly being reworked or recycled from the original film, something alittle harder to ignore when you show us all the original kills at the start of the movie. Still the final pay off gives us a memorable death which is only hampered slightly by the use of CGI, something which is such a common issue in modern horror it almost feels like a pointless exercise to mention it. Sure its easier for the film maker by cutting down on the shot reload time but when it comes at the cost of presence for the viewer should the film makers convenience always win out?
While far from the best entry in the series its equally not the worst and certainly brings enough unique ideas to make it worth giving a look, but this is far from the film to represent the tone of the franchise.

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

AC Film Club #2 - King Kong Escapes




On this episode of the "Asian Cinema Film Club" myself and my co-host Stephen (Eastern Kicks / Gweilo Ramblings) look at the second attempt by Toho to cash in on the appeal of King Kong by this time having him face off against his mecha counterpart Mechani-Kong in "King Kong Escapes"

Directed by legendary Kaiju director Ishiro Honda the plot itself is the usual randomness with Evil scientist Dr. Who creating his Mechani-Kong which he plans to use to dig for “Element X” in the North pole only to find that the radiation emitted by Element X shuts down his creation. Meanwhile Commander Nelson  and his crew have discovered Kong living on Mondo Island who Dr.Who now plots to use to dig out the Element X by hypnotising the giant ape to do his bidding. Of course its not long before Kong goes wild once more while heading for a showdown with Mechani-Kong on top of the Tokyo Tower!!

Also on this episode Stephen shares his thoughts on the Live-action adaptation of "Ghost In The Shell", The anniversary and legacy of Gundam Wing aswell as why "Attack On Titan" is so essential.

Further Watching



Godzilla (1954)

Destroy All Monsters


Tuesday, 25 April 2017

MBDS Showcase #48 - At The Earths Core / Challenge of the Tiger


The "MBDS Showcase" is a cult movie podcast which aims to provide an introduction to cult and obscure cinema, while inviting my guests to share their own cult movie obsessions.

Youtuber and cult cinema fan Brandon Tenold (Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews) returns for an ass kicking double as we look at the overlooked Bruceploitation movie "Challenge of the Tiger" in which Bruce Le directs and stars as a CIA Agent paired with Richard Harrison's swave womaniser as the pair try to locate a super-sterility drug 

We also get to see Doug McClure team up with Peter Crushing for "At The Earth's Core" as he fights dinosaurs, seduces cavewomen and solves problems by punching them!!
 
All this plus Canuxploitation, movie ratings and the appeal of bad movies, plus much more!



You can find the full MBDS Showcase movie list here

Opening Theme: "Hyperfun" - Kevin Macleod (http://incompetech.com/)

End Theme: "Out of Limits" - The Marketts

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Wednesday, 22 March 2017

AC Film Club #1 - Ghost In The Shell



































On the latest episode of the MBDS Showcase we kicked off our brand new sub-show "The Asian Cinema Film Club" in which myself and my co-host Stephen Palmer (Eastern Kicks / Gweilo Ramblings) set out to provide an introduction to Asian cinema by on each episode highlighting a title worth seeking out. 

On this first episode we kick things off with "Ghost In The Shell" as with the live action remake fast approaching what better time to go back an revisit the 1995 original anime, widely considered to be one of the best anime of all time after "Akira".

Directed by Mamoru Oshii The film's follows the hunt by Section 9 for a mysterious hacker known as the Puppet Master. With the assistance of her team, Cyborg team leader Motoko Kusanagi finds herself drawn into a complex sequence of political intrigue and a cover-up as to the identity and goals of the Puppet Master.

Further Watching



Redline

Seoul Station / Train to Busan



Friday, 20 May 2016

Biker Movies - An Introduction

 
If any aspect of cult cinema embodies the spirit of wild and carefree rebellion it’s the “Biker genre”. From its beginning in 1954 with the release of “The Wild One” staring a young (and less gelatinous and egotistic) Marlon Brando as the black leather jacket clad Johnny Stradler the leader of “The Black Rebels Motorcycle Club) who roll into Carbonville during a motorcycle race with the intention of stirring up trouble. While it might seem alittle twee to modern audiences the film was greeted with shock and hysteria by the press of the day, while the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC) banned the film till finally awarding it an ‘X’ certificate (the equivalent of today’s ‘15’ certificate) when they allowed it to be released fourteen years after its original release, the original letter of rejection for certification stating that they were of the opinion that the film presented a
“spectacle of unbridled hooliganism… with no more than a mild censure from a police office, would be likely to exert a harmful influence in that very quarter about which anxiety is felt and would expose the Board to justifiable criticism for certificating a film so potentially danger on social grounds”
Unsurprisingly all this controversy resonated with the alienated youth of the time who loved the idea of the motorcycle riding rebel. While in the UK the battles between Mods and Rockers did little to ease the fears of the censors and general public leaving them to hold out on the film till they felt that the film had become too dated to appeal to the potential delinquents of the film whose rebellious nature they felt the film would only fuel.
Despite the controversy which surrounded “The Wild One” it would take the exploitation cinema legend Roger Corman to really launch the genre with “The Wild Angels” as he saw biker films as a way to revive the flagging Western genre seeing the biker film as its modern day equivalent with bikes replacing the horses. At the same time the wild nature of these films made them perfect fodder for the audiences of Drive-in’s and Grindhouse theatres who made up much of Corman’s target audience for the films he was producing especially with their common themes of revenge and the desire to live free and without the oppression of “The Man” (popular themes for the Blaxploitation films of the 70’s) which played perfectly in a time when civil liberties was still a key subject with the classic “Easy Rider” truly providing the embodiment of these themes.

“Easy Rider” would prove to be another influential title not only for how films were made, but the genre as a whole which soon saw more focus on storytelling as well as more essentially the riding sequences as producers attempted to hold onto an audience that had evolved and now craved more from these films than thrilling scenes of adventure and wild delinquency. It’s would being during these finals years for the genre that we also saw some of the most interesting films being produced such as the Blaxploitation influenced “The Black Angels” and the bikers in Vietnam “Nam’s Angels” aka “The Losers”; a film inspired by head of the “Hells Angels” Sonny Barger sending a telegram to President Johnson offering the Angel services as “gorilla fighters” (sic) which Johnson might have turned down but it did end up making a pretty decent biker movies as well as one can also be seen being watched by Fabienne in “Pulp Fiction”.


While stateside the genre might have been winding down but at the same time it also began to attract international attention with Japan giving us the “Stray Cat Rock” series whose first entry “Delinquent Girl Boss” memorably gave us a motorcycle / beach buggy chase through the streets of Shinjuku, Tokyo. Coming towards the end of the golden age for the genre, its presence would in Australian cinema as Ozploitation memorably brought its own twist on things with Australian cinema at this point already renown for its love of car chases really pushed the action side of the genre with the likes of George Millers “Mad Max” and its sequel “Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior" both memorably featuring psychopath bikers aswell as some equally memorable stunt work often shot on roads unofficially closed down by the production team. We would also get with “Stone” arguably one of the most iconic moments to be featured in any biker movie as it featured a funeral procession complete with a motorcycle Hearse and hundreds of bikers thundering down the highway.

Not to be outdone Britain too would throw its gauntlet down with “Psychomania” which not only brought a horror element to the biker movie as a biker gang called “The Living Dead” make a pact with the devil to become immortal, while also being led by the frog loving Alex DeLarge clone Tom. Despite gaining a cult following in the years since its release, many consider the film to mark the end of the biker film genre as exploitation cinema moved onto other areas as the times changed. The bikers which had once been the focus now being pushed into the background or taking on the antagonist role especially with the increase of interest in post-apocalyptic movies of the 80’s were the marauding biker gang was a common sight.

Nowadays the biker movie is all but a forgotten concept outside of the occasional throwback that the Neo-grindhouse genre has given us such as the Quentin Tarantino produced “Hell Ride” aswell as the equally awful“Dear God No!” and its sequel “Frankenstein Created Bikers” leaving my genre fans with mixed feelings for the genre. At the same time it’s a genre which hides some great hidden classics especially during the 60’s and 70’s and while a lot of it can be seen as perhaps overly campy or grimy for some tastes for the more adventurous movie watcher there is still plenty to enjoy.

Starting Point – Five Biker Movie Essentials


Motorpsycho – Directed by Russ Meyer’s just before “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” this film is not only noticeable for the lack of his Ultravixens, but also for being the first film to give a portrayal of the disturbed Vietnam veteran, many of which had returned from the war and drifted into motorcycle gangs unable to handle the return to civilian life.  The film has also inspired the name of the Norwegian Progressive rock band aswell as being refrenced by “White Zombie” in the song “Thunder Kiss ‘65’”

Born Losers – The first of the “Billy Jack” trilogy following the “Half-breed” American Navajo Indian, who is also a Green Beret Vietnam Veteran aswell as a hapkido master who has taken to living in the California mountains in his attempts to escape from society. Things don’t however go according to plan as he finds himself having to defend the town of Big Rock against the members o the Born Losers Motorcycle Club. A commercial success despite a negative critical response, the film would be followed by “The Trial of Billy Jack” and “Billy Jack Goes To Washington”.

Angel Unchained – Angel feels that his days as a biker are coming to an end and breaks away his gang “The Nomads” to try and find his own way in the world only to find himself caught up in a conflict between a hippie commune and the local rednecks leading him to call in his former gang to help provide protection for the commune.

Werewolves on Wheels – One of the few films to combine both biker and horror genres see also (Psychomania, I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle) and directed by Michel Levesque who had previously been the art designer for Russ Meyer. This film was largely used as double bill fodder but still has a fun hook as Adam the leader of “The Devil’s Advocates” is unwittingly cursed along with gang with Lycanthropy (the posh term for Werewolf) and its not long before they leave a bloody trail in their wake as they hit the open road.

The Hellcats – A film no doubt already known to fans of MST3K, here the gender roles are flipped as crime boss Adrian uses  the female motorcycle gang The Hellcats to carry out his drug runs. However when a detective is killed by one of Adrians henchmen leading to his army sergent brother and girlfriend to go undercover as bikers to infiltrate the Hellcats to get their revenge against Adrian.
 
Authors Note: Originally posted as part of The LAMB "Cult Chops" feature

Friday, 19 February 2016

Dolls



Title: Dolls
Director:  Stuart Gordon
Released: 1987
Starring: Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy, Carrie Lorraine, Guy Rolfe, Hilary Mason, Bunty Bailey, Cassie Stuart, Stephen Lee

Plot: Traveling with her father (Williams) and arrogant stepmother Rosemary (Gordon), Judy (Lorraine) finds herself stranded by a thunderstorm and forced to take shelter in a mansion owned by the elderly toymakers Gabriel (Rolfe) and Hilary (Mason) Hartwicke. Judy’s family are also soon they are also joined by the mild-mannered Ralph (Lee) and the two punk hitchhikers (Bunty Bailey and Cassie Stuart) he picked up only for these guest to soon find themselves being targeted by the very alive doll collection.


Review: This is a film which I’ve been wanting to see since watching the documentary on Stuart Gordon’s career which came as one of the bonus features for his “Masters of Horror” episode “Dreams In The Witch-House” and it was the footage of a giant sized teddy bear turning into a were bear and slashing Ian Patrick Williams across the face that I knew I wanted to see this film….as I’ve said many times before sometimes it takes just one shot. What I wasn’t expecting though was for Gordon to give what could easily have been the film’s climax in the first fifteen minutes for the film’s opening!

Okay so it’s a dream sequence, but its such a cool idea and like so many aspects of the film done so well that you don’t mind Gordon throwing in a scene which seemingly could have just been him going off on a whim or perhaps just having a cool idea he couldn’t work into the film any other way. Never the less it’s a great opening if one which perhaps makes for the film to find a way to follow it up, especially seeing how he teases out the killer dolls for a at least another thirty minutes after this scene instead choosing to focus on the mish-mash of characters he throws together in the mansion and who Gabriel and Hilary seemingly have no problem giving a place to stay for the night while at the same time being one of the creepiest on screen couples ever!

For the most part the group we have are all largely and perhaps intentionally unlikable from Judy’s father and Stepmother who she seems to be more of an inconvenience to, especially when at one point they are making plans to dump Judy on her mother so they can run away and enjoy their youth. A strange statement for either of them to be saying when they are so clearly middle aged but this is the plan they are going with anyway. Challenging them for the title of most odious couple though are our British punk hitchhikers Isabel and Enid who are some unknown reason are hanging around in the countryside and speak with nerve shredding cockney accents  because seemingly Gordon assumes that how all British people speak.

On the other side of things the supposedly good people are limited to Judy who seems to only have one setting seeing how she responds to pretty much every situation the same way. Ralph mean while is much more likable and provides many of the films comedic moments thanks to Stephen Lee being allowed to improvise some of his parts. Needless to say the good people are also the ones who like dolls, with Ralph lamenting his father forcing him to give up his toys when he was younger.  

One of the strengths of the film is really in the set design with the Hartwicke’s mansion being a suitably gothic and creepy setting, while also one which doesn’t give away the game too early on, with the expected shelves of dolls being hidden away behind closed doors rather than having them watching on from every wall like we have seen in similar films such as “The Doll Master”. Even when we get the first kill Gordon a director hardly known for subtly here shows great restraint as he keeps the attackers off screen, teasing us instead with the sounds of their shrill little voices as they set about bashing Isabel’s head into a wall.

Thankfully when we do get to see the killer dolls it’s not the disappointment that I had been expecting with stage hands essentially bouncing the dolls about to make them appear as it they are moving as now seen with the later entries in the “Puppet Master” series. Instead we get wonderfully stop motion animated Dolls who are generally creepy to watch attack people and it’s during the attack scenes that we get so many of the films highlights with the dolls setting upon their victims with tiny knifes and even the occasional hacksaw as we see with Rosemary’s death who also for some explained reason also randomly throws herself out of a window in a scene in which it appears she is jumping over a line of dolls only to then suddenly throw herself through the window.

While not super heavy on gore what we get in terms of gore and deaths is more makes this a satisfying watch with Gordon attempting to add more gore scenes in post production he soon realised that they didn’t suit the tone of the film and cut them all out which I’d say was the right mood tonely for the film and certainly it doesn’t feel like anything has been lost by the removal of these. More so when we still have a lot of fun treats including a death by doll firing squad and one character being turned into a Mr. Punch doll which ensures that this film is more than memorable enough without bathing everything in crimson.

Of course the mystery of the living dolls is pretty straight forward and only further helped by everything in this world being so clear cut especially when it comes to whose good and whose bad with Gabriel and Hillary turning those deemed as bad into living dolls under their control. Laughably neither Ralph nor Judy discover this secret as they are instead convinced it was all a dream and encouraged to go on with their lives via a letter supposedly left for them by the now missing members of their party.

This film is another fun entry on Gordon’s film making C.V. and while it’s not near the likes of “Re-Animator” it’s still a noteworthy entry and one of the few films he has made that I would truly have loved to see a sequel to, which seems unlikely to happen especially when Gordon axed his previous attempt to give this film a sequel during pre-production. Still for fans of killer doll movies this is unquestionably one of the better entries in the genre.

*Written as part of “The Shortening” blogathon at “The Deadly Dollhouse of Horror Nonsense

Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Valentine

Part of "Simplistic Reviews" Horror Time Capsule check them out!!



Title:  Valentine
Director:  Jamie Blanks
Released:  2001
Starring: David Boreanaz, Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, Hedy Burress, Jessica Cauffiel, Katherine Heigl

Plot: Five girls who rejected the school geek at the school dance now years later find themselves being targeted by a mysterious Cherub-mask wearing killer.

 
Review:  Yet another film that I’ve been meaning to watch for years only to continually get distracted by other films in the watch pile. It is also a film I remember coming out when I was in college surrounded by heavy advertisement only to suddenly disappear without it gaining any real traction with audiences it seemed.  Despite this the idea of a Cherub mask wearing killer did sound an appealing one and no doubt the reason it remained on my watch list for so long.

Opening on Valentine’s day 1988, here we see the hopeless romantic geek Jeremy going from one girl to the next asking if they want to dance, only to continually get shot down. However it appears that his luck might be in when the overweight Dorothy accepts his invitation to dance which soon leads to them making out underneath the bleachers. Sadly things don’t exactly work out for Jeremy as when the pair are spotted by the school bullies, she claims that he sexually assaulted her leading the bullies to then turn into a pack of vigilantes as they publicly strip Jeremy before preceding to beat the holy out of him while the students and teachers seemingly do nothing about this! Of course the girls meanwhile all go on to grow up to become popular and attractive, while the film seemingly insists that these girls were friends back in school, even if their childhood versions seemed to belong to different groups to each other with no indication of any of them ever being friends. It’s also really once we see the girls all grown up exactly what sort of casting decisions were made for the film, seeing how all the girls seemingly have been cast more for their looks than their acting abilities, something which soon become blatantly obvious when faced with another 70 mins of their vacant expressions ahead of you.

Despite being released in 2001, this film still appears to be aiming for the same filming style of the 90’s horror movies which followed in the wake of “Scream”  which revitalised the horror genre and generated a slew of counterparts it generated and certainly a wave of films which you’d be forgiven that this film belonged to. I was equally surprised to learn that this film was directed by Jamie Blanks who previously gave us one of the more underrated 90’s horror movies with “Urban Legend”. Sadly this film is nowhere near as good which to Blanks credit he has apologised while seemingly indicating that it was a less than smooth production for the film which also had to contend with the TV schedules of  both Katherine Heigl who was attached to “Roswell” and Boreanaz who was attached to “Angel” meaning that both actors only had a limited amount of time to shoot their scenes with Heigl in particular only having three days for her scenes which equate to little more than a fleeting appearance here as blanks gives his own spin on the classic “Scream” opening which despite having a cool kill lacks the same kind of impact.

One of the main issues the film has though is that none of the cast are particularly likable, more so when they constantly seem so self-involved and wrapped up in their own issues that it makes it impossible to form any kind of connection, let alone believe that they are as good a friends as they claim to be. At the same time every male character in the film is portrayed as being a horny sleaze ball who cares only about picking up one of the four girls. Even the detective whose supposed to investigating the killer stalking them isn’t amused from this as he randomly tries to pick up the sexually aggressive Paige (Richards) which seemingly all he does apart from making some half-baked attempts at trying to identify the masked killer. The only exception here is Boreanaz who appears as Kate’s (Shelton) boyfriend but even then his appearances throughout are so sporadic that it leaves you wondering if the was any real direction for his character other than to help setup the finale, while Boreanaz continues to prove that movies are not were his talents lie (see “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” for further proof) as most of his performance seems to revolve around him recycling his broody performance for “Angel”.

Elsewhere not even the killer is free from the many issues of this film as while the mask makes for a cool look especially when combined with his all black ensemble. What the mask also unfortunately does is to give him the impression of him having a tiny head when we see him in any full length shots, which perhaps takes away some of the threat that he could have processed had he not looked so unintentionally funny during these shots. At the same time when it comes time to do the big reveal what could have been a clever twist ends up feeling strangely clumsy thanks to the events leading up to the showdown making little sense with characters suddenly showing sides to them which feel that they were written in while filming.

What saves this film from being a complete write off those is that it contains some really inventive kills, the majority of which are shot with like an 80’s slasher, making them a strange fit for the rest of the film which is very 90’s in its style and more so when a number are far more graphic than the majority of movie deaths from this period which tended to favour the less is more approach spearheaded by “Scream”. Amongst the kills we get a nasty looking throat slit, death by bow and arrow (well he is wearing a cherub mask) with the best of course involving a hot tub and a power drill! One trick that the film does miss though is during the scene leading up to the hot tub death in which it appeared that Blanks was going to recreate the raptor attack from “Jurassic Park” and have the killers face suddenly appears out of the plants, but sadly it does happen.  Still the kills are all well-handled and no doubt the one good thing you’ll take away from this one.

A heavily  flawed film with its clunky script and unlikable characters make this far from the easiest film to sit through even if you’re just watching it for the death scenes.

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Wow I Won An Award!!


Recently I was honoured with “The Dragon Loyalty award by the Vern over at “The Vern’sVideo Vortex” and the “As You Watch Podcast”.

Now as these awards go there are rules to be followed which are as follow
  • Display the award on your blog
  • Announce your win with a post and link the blogger who awarded you
  • Present 15 deserving bloggers with the award
  • Link your awardees in the post and let them know of their being awarded
  • Write seven interesting things about you.
So let’s kick off with the good stuff as I now get the honour of presenting the following bloggers with this award, who constantly manage to produce entertaining and informative work on their blogs, while continuing to prove that there is still great talents running blogs, especially in these times were it seems that most critics have switched over to video blogging.


2.      Day of the Woman


4.      Forgotten Films


6.      French Toast Sunday


8.      The Film Connoisseur







15.  Final Girl

And now here are seven facts about myself, whose level of interestingness I will leave for you to decide.

1)      My favourite authors include Bret Easton Ellis, Hunter S. Thompson, Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris

2)      My first piece of writing was my attempts to write down the script for “Gremlins” after being told by Grandfather that I’d seen it so many times that I could write the script. The end result though would probably describe as more of a junior novelisation, but it’s were my love writing started.

3)      I celebrated my 18th birthday not by going straight to the pub (the legal age to drink here in the UK) but rather by joining six different video stores, with eighteen also being the age that you could sign up for a card. While the stores have long since closed down I still carry their membership cards in my wallet.

4)      My childhood hero was Doug Mcclure and the star of such classics as “At the Earth’s Core”, The Land That Time Forgot” and “Warlords of Atlantis”. Your go to guy for seducing exotic ladies and punching anything which gets in his way. He was also the inspiration for Troy Mcclure on “The Simpsons” he was that darn cool!!

5)      Outside of the cult, foreign and obscure cinema I also have a love for documentaries which choose to focus on social subgroups such as old school gamers, punks, skaters etc. which lead to me to recently creating the spin off site “The Armchair Sociologist”.

6)      My favourite comic series is “Hack/Slash” which follows Cassie Hack and her gas mask clad man mountain of a best friend Vlad as they hunt down monsters called “slashers” due to how they all resemble movie slashers. Outside of this I am also a big fan of Deadpool whose movie adaption is the one comic book movie I’m excited about.

7)      I believe that 1999 is probably the best year for cinema and not 1984 as Todd over at “Forgotten Films” would have you belive.
Thanks again to Vern again for this award!

Friday, 20 February 2015

Adventures In Podcasting #2

Time for another round up of my latest adventures in podcasting, presented here now as one big ole boxset of movie talk goodness.

The "Mad, Bad and Downright Strange Showcase" is my podcast were I invite bloggers, film makers and fellow film junkies to help me work through the 1001 film introduction to cult and obscure cinema which is the "Mad, Bad and Downright Strange" list with each show seeing my guest picking one or two films from the list to discuss.

MBDS Showcase #4 - May / American Mary

Vern (Vern's Video Vortex) joins me in the studio to look at two ladies putting their surgical skills to very different uses.

First up we have Lucky McKee's directorial debut "May" which brings a unique spin to the classic "Frankenstein" mythos in which the titular May, sets out to make herself a friend using the body parts of those around her.

For the second half of this editions double feature we look at the Soska Sisters (The Twisted Twins) critically acclaimed follow up to their grindhouse esq debut "Dead Hooker In A Trunk" with "American Mary" as the sisters turn their attention to the world of underground surgery and body modification.

All this plus we discuss cosplay ideas, forming a blogger band and ten minute triangle solos!!



MBDS Showcase #5 - Le Samourai / Branded To Kill

Will (Exploding Helicopter) joins me to look at two very different yet highly influential Hitman movies.

Kicking things off is Jean-Pierre Melville's acclaimed "Le Samourai" which see Alain Delon giving a memorable performance as Jef a hitman who lives by his own samurai style code of honour and who after a hit goes wrong finds himself being pursued by both the cops and his former employers.

Next up is Seijun Suzuki's Yakuza drama "Branded To Kill" were Goro (Joe Shishido) the number three killer in Japan with a fetish for the smell of boiling Rice. However when he botches a hit he soon finds himself marked for death.

All this plus exploding helicopters, the importance of Quentin Tarantino, aswell our attempts to get your votes for the LAMBcast MOTM.



MBDS Showcase #6 - Kaiju Gaiden / Destroy All Monsters

David Hall, Producer and Director of the forthcoming documentary "Kaiju Gaiden" joins me for this latest episode to talk about his debut film recently funded through Kickstarter.  Aswell as discussing his film he also finds time to talk about his movie tastes aswell as sharing his thoughts on the the Godzilla classic "Destroy All Monsters".

All this plus the winner of the LAMBCAST MOTM revealed, feisty leading ladies and some serious Kaiju fanboy obsessing!!



MBDS Showcase #7 - Alt. Christmas Special

It's that time of year once again, were we can dig out all those movies which take shall we say a more warped view of the festive season.

Emily Intravia (Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense / The Feminine Critique) joins me once again to discuss the festive slashers "Christmas Evil" and "Silent Night, Deadly Night", while at the same time finding time to highlight some of her other festive favourites.



MBDS Showcase #8 - Ghost in the Shell / The Evil Dead

Brandon Tenold (Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews) makes his podcast debut on this episode to discuss two of his favourite films from the list.

First up is the Anime classic and highly influential "Ghost in the Shell" in which cyborg cop Major Kusanagi hunts with her team for an illusive hacker called the Puppet Master.

Also discussed is Sam Raimi infamous and controversial debut "The Evil Dead", in which a group of friends accidently unleash an ancient evil with memorably gory results. A film which not only created a Launchpad for his directing career, but also for b-movie legend Bruce Campbell as well, while we also look at its long lasting legacy.
 
All this plus Saturday morning cartoons, questionable cash in's, the video nasties scandal and much more!!

** Sorry about the sound issues at the start, which I hope won't affect people enjoyment too much **



MBDS Showcase #9 - Dead Hooker In A Trunk / Phantom of the Paradise

Kicking off the 2015, author (Wake Up, Maggie)and one half of the Feminine Critique podcast Christine Makepeace making her debut on the show.

First off we have the Soska Sisters* neo-grindhouse debut "Dead Hooker In A Trunk" which sees four friends life thrown into chaos and confusion upon discovering the titular dead hooker.

In the second half of the show we look at Brian De Palma's flamboyant rock opera "Phantom of the Paradise" were several classic horror stories including "Phantom of the Opera" and "Faust" are given a unique Rocky Horror style twist.

All this plus we discuss the state of genre cinema, Mumblegore and the appeal (or lack off) of teen dance movies and more!!

*Apologies to the Twisted Twins whose surname I also mispronounce.



MBDS Showcase #10 - The Brood / Magnolia

The "French Toast Sunday" invasion of the show continues with this episode as Jess joins me to discuss the David Cronenberg's early body shocker "The Brood" aswell as P.T. Anderson's three hour LA epic "Magnolia"

All this plus Hitchcock, psycho children, the career path of Jake Gyllenhaal and much more!!

* Apologies for the sound issues with this episode, which were the result of a recording screw up I didn't discover until I came to edit it.


MBDS Showcase #11 - Little Shop of Horrors / Legend

Todd Liebenow (Forgotten Films) joins me for this latest episode to disuss Frank Oz's all singing and dancing remake of the Roger Corman Classic "Little Shop of Horrors" aswell as Ridley Scott's dark fantasy "Legend" featuring not only an unrecognisable Tim Curry, but also an early leading role from Tom Cruise.

All this plus we pit two movie years against each other with 1984 Vs. 1999, Discuss the art of Puppetry, boyhood crushes and show some serious love for "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" plus so much more!!



MBDS Showcase #12 - I Spit On Your Grave / Pink Flamingos

February is "Women in Horror Month" so its perfect that I'm joined first this latest episode by BJ Colangelo (Day Of The Woman) to discuss two of the more controversial titles on the list.

**Warning: Do Not Listen If Of A Sensitive Nature**

First up we have the notorious Rape Revenge Horror and former video nasty "I Spit on Your Grave". We also look at John Waters's midnight movie favourite and Filth Opus "Pink Flamingos".

All this plus the Video Nasties scandal, the legacy of Divine, feminism within the horror genre and so much more!!


Make sure to regularly check my podcast page for new episodes, while any feedback would be great, especially if your interested in being part of future episodes let me know in the comments section below.
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