Pixels

Title: Pixels

Director: Chris Columbus

Released: 2015

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, Ashley Benson, Jane Krakowski, Sean Bean

Plot: Aliens misinterpret a video of classic video games as a declaration of war attacking Earth using the characters from these games and leaving it down to gamers and lifelong friends Sam (Sandler) and Will (James) to use their videogame skills to defeat them and save the earth.

Review: For some reason much like M. Night Shyamalan the mere mention of Adam Sandler’s name being attached to any film is usually cause for the critics to start sharpening their knifes and while it’s true that he now seems to have settled into a routine with his comedies which appear to be based more around where he wishes to take his vacation and keeping his friends employed, let alone a bizarre obsession with “Hooters” which continues to show up in his films.

I’m not even going to try and convince you that this film is the one which see’s Sandler break away from his usual antics and gives us a ground breaking comedic experience as you certainly won’t get that here, neither the kind of surprise acting turn that we have seen him pull out of nowhere with the likes of “Punch Drunk Love” and “The Cobbler”. What we do get though is a fun and disposable comedy which shamelessly plays to the retro gamer fans taste for sure.

Opening in 1982 were Sam discovers that he can master video games by recognising the patterns and looks set to win the local video game championships only to lose to the obnoxious and egotistical Eddie Plant (Dinklage). Now flash forward to present day and Sam is working in home tech support setting up home cinema’s while best friend Will is now somehow the President of the United States….I did highlight this was an Adam Sandler movie right. Of course once the aliens invade Sam is of course the only person who can stop them, because seemingly no one else in the world plays old school video games.

Now armed with a bunch of hi-tech equipment Sam and Will team up with their other friend Ludlow (Gad) and former rival and still wildly egotistical Eddie to defeat the video game sprites which all take on the form of popular video game characters such as a giant Pac Man and Centipede with the weakness’s all matching their weaknesses in the game so hence Centipede has to be shot in the head while Pac Man has to be taken out by the mini coopers all assigned the names of the Ghosts from the game in one of the more memorable set pieces here.

All the cast are likable enough here with Sandler once more bringing his usual laid back comedic style while James and Gad are on hand for the more slapstick antics. Peter Dinklage meanwhile steals the show as Eddie as he constantly has something snarky to say and generally plays up his arsehole nature which seemingly has only gotten worse in the years which have passed since he beat Sam in the video game championships.

As I mentioned already this film really aims to shamelessly play up for the retro video game fans as it not only bombards the viewer with numerous refrences but also features cameos from cult figures from this world including former Donkey Kong World record holder Steve Wiebe whose battle to claim the title was so memorably documented in “King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters” and who here puts in a cameo as a military scientist while Pac Man creator Toru Iwatani shows up as an arcade repairman while we also get a fictional version played here by Denis Akiyama due to Iwatani not being able to speak English.

While this film is certainly  fun and has some standout moments it equally has some glaring flaws such as Eddie somehow being able to use video game cheat codes in real life with no explanation given to how exactly this is supposed to work. Equally frustrating is the fact we never see the aliens behind the attacks only their video game avatars so after Sam and co. beat Donkey Kong that’s it! No big reveal or anything while the fact that the video game vixen that Ludow unhealthy lusts over gets magically brought back via a morphing Q-Bert just felt too much like pandering to an audience who couldn’t handle any kind of downbeat outcome in the films ending.

While these flaws are frustrating it still does not make the film as bad as many critics would have you believe, perhaps having cast their judgement at the Sandler’s name being listed as the lead. However for old school gamers this is a fun disposable bit of nostalgia that doesn’t outstay its welcome while no doubt leave you wanting to dust off some of the games in your collection for another round.

Slugs

Title: Slugs
Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Released: 1988
Staring: Michael Garfield, Kim Terry, Philip MacHale, Santiago Álvarez

Plot: When people start mysteriously dying, local health inspector Mike Brady (Garfield) discovers that a mutant strain of black slugs are responsible, but can he convince the authorities in time?



Review: There have frequently been moments throughout the history of the creature feature, were upon realising that the usual scary animals (Snakes, Spiders, Sharks etc) had been exhausted, that studios started looking to less likely objects of terror, such as Worms (Squirm), Giant Bunnies (Night of the Lepus) or Ants (Phase IV), while Larry Cohen has spent the best part of his career making the least likely of things scary, most memorably with his killer baby trilogy “It’s Alive” as well as also turning his attention to the idea of Killer Yogurt with “The Stuff”. Still some of these films worked surprisingly well or at least held some camp value, while as to be expected, these idea also created some serious none starters which it’s safe to say this film is certainly one of.

I first came across this movie, like I did for “Xtro 2” which was while scanning the shelves of my local video store "The Video Bug". It was here that I spent hours looking through the horror titles mainly and getting my kicks off the various gruesome cover arts and equally graphic film stills and like “Xtro 2” something stuck with me about this film, even though I’ve only now finally got around to watching the darn thing, which honestly for all it was hyped up by my cousin back when I was a kid, it really wasn’t worth dwelling over, for while slugs are naturally creepy things, they don’t exactly lend themselves well to horror, even if they are particularly vicious mutant strain complete with angry teeth filled mouths and even less when your relinging on showing speeded up footage of them.

The main problem “Slugs” suffers from is that it’s strengths all draw from it's gory scenes, which grows increasingly graphic as the film goes through with Simón not satisfied to stick with just slug on human carnage, but also manages to include a popped eyeball, a hacked off limb and even finding time to include what is possibly the first exploding greenhouse captured on film, aswell as a particularly standout moment were the slugs give one unfortunate victim one hell of a headache. Sadly as result of this focus the film has far to many dull patches between these scenes, were none of the cast and least of Director Simón seem to know what to do, which is helped even less, by how unlikable the characters are, with the majority of them nothing but slug chow. It’s kind of a shame actually that Simón’s interest doesn’t seem to stretch past the attack scenes, as these are frequently quite haunting in places including a scene towards the end were one character after being knocked into a pool is suddenly ravaged by the titular beasties in a scene which not only features a truly laughable attempt at a rescue, but also a corpse that looks like it’s deflating. Still these chills could be more to do psychological effect that slugs tend have over folks (myself included) than anything to do with any directorial talent of Simón.

Still when it comes to the method for dealing with these pesky beasties, no one seems to have considered using anything resembling the traditional way of dealing with them, by showing them with salt, but rather opting for the Hollywood way of Explosives and electricity to despatch them back to whatever slimy circle of hell they slithered out from. Yes this is the plan devised by a so called SLUG EXPERT played here by Santiago Álvarez, who here also handily fills the requirement for a British scientist, the kind of who are required by law to appear in these movies and preferably wear lab coats at all times, as after all that's how we know he's the expert.

The other problem the film suffers from is that it is a page to screen copy of the original novel by Shaun Hutson. Yes that’s right kids the publish world also bought into the idea of killer slugs and incase you were wondering, it’s bizarrely enough also garbage, just in the written word form as it is in the moving picture form, not that Hutson really cares it would seem apparently stating that Simón could “do what he liked” providing that he got paid and his original work wasn’t changed, which only surprised him further when Simón took him at his word, which might not have really been the best option here, especially as the plot is painfully plodding at best, with disposable characters having back stories fleshed out, which serve to really only add to the local colour of the town than anything plot wise.

The soundtrack here is almost schizophrenic, seeing how it seems to have been compiled purely of library tracks, rather than anything written specifically for the film, with only the slugs getting any form of soundtracking, while the rest of the soundtrack verges from sitcom to just plain random tracks, with none of it seemingly being placed to represent the action on screen.

“Slugs” is a film with numerous issues and wasn’t exactly worth the wait to see it, even if the gory moments are quite satisfying and no doubt the bits your more than likely to revisit, which is now only made the easier thanks to the film getting a DVD release, which is also the fully uncut version which gives you a few extra seconds of gore, but still nothing to explain how this film made it onto the banned list in Australia.

Xtro 2: The Second Encounter

Title: Xtro 2: The Second Encounter
Director: Harry Bromley Davenport
Released: 1990

Staring: Jan-Michael Vincent, Paul Koslo, Tara Buckman, Jano Frandsen, Nicholas Lea, W.F. Wadden, Rolf Reynolds, Nic Amoroso, Tracy Westerholm

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: The Nexus project has been created with the goal of creating a way to travel through dimensions. During the first jump, communication is lost with the team, during which time sole survivor Marshall (Westerholm) returns through the gate, unknown to the Nexus team infected with an alien species, which promptly escapes forcing the facility into lockdown leaving a small team of scientists and four heavily armed mercenaries to combat this new threat to humanity.

Review: Nostalgia can be a strange thing, with so many things, turning out to not be as essential as we might like to remember them, when looked back at through the nostalgia goggles, this is especially true when it comes to revisiting the numerous films which populated my childhood, which this film actually wasn’t one of, but still somehow managed to ingrain itself into my subconscious.
I first encountered this film, at my local video shop called “The video bug” which is sadly no longer there, having closed down about five years ago. I originally hung out there, as a way of playing the latest PS1 / N64 games, which I had no way of affording on what little money I earned from my paper round. What was special about this particular video store, was the fact that they never threw out any of their VHS tapes, which would usually happen with the other video stores, who threw out old titles to make room for newer titles, were as at the video bug they simply put in more bookcases, to store their ever increasing collection of films, which really had a lot to do with the owner being such a cheap skate, that he really wanted to make sure he got the most use out of the tapes, hanging onto them even when they started to stock DVD’s.
The advantage of this meant that you could go there and rent any number of the obscure and often long forgotten films, a lot still in their original big boxes. You have to remember that this was the 90’s and long before online rentals killed off these stores and seeing how I lived in a small costal town, this was the best way for me to see all the classic 70’s & 80’s horror films, which I’d heard about normally from the kids with more liberal parents when it came to what they allowed them to watch. However being a bit of a wuss when it came to gore I missed out on a lot of titles, normally satisfying my curiosity by looking at the backs of the various films and soaking in the various gory and violent images, but knowing that the majority of them I’d never really rent. It was here that I first encountered this film, whose cover stuck with me and was one of the titles; I’d wished I’d picked up when the store was selling off all their stock. Still while I was looking for ideas for titles to write about here on the blog I remembered this film and was suddenly over come with the obsession of tracking it down, even more so after watching the trailer, which also contains a bizarrely memorable theme, which even now is still stuck in my head.



The original “Xtro” (1982) spawned quite a cult following, mainly due to its brief status on the BBFC video nasty list, thanks to a memorable graphic scene involving a woman giving birth to a fully grown man. I’ve yet to watch it, but honestly you don’t have to have seen it to watch this film, as it is merely a sequel in name only, which appears to be a running theme with the series, as apparently “Xtro 3: Watch the Skies” (1995) has nothing to do with either of these films either, which is supposedly down to Director Davenport only securing the rights to the name and not the story rights, making this in more of a cash in on the popularity of the original, than any attempt in continuing the storyline.

It’s clear quite early on that the plot is heavily borrowed from “Aliens” (prepare to here this film being mentioned a lot in this review) which is not only quite an achievement for a film with four writers, but also something that is frequently picked up upon by pretty much anyone who has seen this film, but then this isn’t just giving the occasional nod here and there, but rather tearing huge scenes and reworking them into the film, with the most glaring scenes being the chase through the ventilation, the smart gun used by the merc’s and even the shoulder cameras using the same film stock as that used in “Aliens” though of course the most standout, having to be Davenports take on the chestburster sequence, which is almost shot for shot the same, bar the fact that its Marshall writhing around on a table by herself, rather than being surround by her fellow scientists.

Thankfully once the alien changes into it’s fully grown form, it at least looks original, even though we never get to see the creature in it’s full glory, thanks to some horrible lighting, which drowns the majority of the scenes it appears in dank darkness, which might build tension, but its pretty much wasted if you can’t see what the hell is going on. Sadly the majority of the effects are equally poorly handled, with kills nearly all happening off screen followed quickly by shots of fake blood being thrown at the walls, as the creature leaves blood covered husks of it’s victims, which is quite random for a creature which is supposed to be draining the moisture from it’s victims I’d have expected them to be looking more like grey dried out husks. Still as long as the monster doesn’t move it looks impressive enough, with it’s sluggish movements making zombies look speedy in comparison, which made me wonder how it actually managed to catch anything, as it shuffled around the deserted hallways bumping off the more disposable members of the cast.
The main question I did find myself asking, while watching this film, was what the mercenaries have against inanimate objects, especially seeing how they are seen frequently firing off countless rounds at ventilation shafts, the walls and pretty much any location the monster is supposed to be, but never once actually hitting the darn thing, they are supposed to be aiming for.

The characters are interesting enough, though it is clear that this cast were assembled on a budget, especially looking at the majority of the scientists working at the facility are decidedly average looking at best. Our hero on a budget Sheppard (Vincent) is quite watchable, despite director Davenport having to reportedly shout the lines to Vincent who didn’t bother to read the script, as his character references the incident in Texas constantly, while not actually bothering to let the rest of us actually know what happened, while Buckman steps up as the tough female scientist Dr. Casserly, even though by the time she steps up to this mantle she is yet another “Aliens” character rip off, as she comes off like a slightly less tough version of Ripley.
The most noteworthy appearance amongst the cast though is Nicolas Lea, who would go on to play Krycek in “The X Files” (one of the best characters in the series despite, what my wife might want to wrongly claim) and here can be seen here playing the bargain basement version of Hicks, while Koslo is fun as Dr. Summerfield the token arsehole, though it’s a role I would have loved to have seen Michael Rooker taking on, especially for the later scenes which see an infected Summerfield mutating rapidly into an alien human hybrid, while seriously cranking up the crazy factor. Meanwhile the rest of the cast, whose characters don’t resemble copies of characters from “Aliens” are quickly lumped into roles which require the minimum amount of character development (the wiseass, the jerk) and pretty much marking themselves as characters not worth getting attached to.

It might not have been a film worth obsessing over for as long as I did, but it is still an entertaining enough film to enjoy even if it does linger in places around the ass end of okay, while ripping of “Aliens” whenever given the chance, but then isn’t this what “The Asylum” have spent the last few years doing, making this film almost a blueprint for their output ethic.