Prehistoric Women

Title:  Prehistoric Women

Director: Michael Carreras
Released: 1967
Starring: Michael Latimer, Robert Raglan, Edina Ronay, Martine Beswick

Plot: When jungle guide David (Latimer) is captured by a tribe of natives who plan to sacrifice him to their white rhino god, only to soon find himself sent back in time a prehistoric age and caught between two warring tribes.

Review: One of the more overlooked films which made up Hammer Horror’s brief jaunt into caveman movies with this film originally intended to be the A-picture on a double bill with “The Old Dark House” only for studio head (and the director’s father) James Carreras to view it as being below Hammer’s standards and instead used the film as the support feature for a double with “The Devil Rides Out”. This of course should hardly have surprised any involved in the production seeing how it reused a lot of the sets and costumes from “One Million Years B.C.” while being shot quickly over four weeks.

A disposable bit of titillating fluff at best, this film lacks from the start any of the charms of Hammer’s other “cave girl” movies such as “One Million Years B.C.” or “When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth” which the release of this film was sandwiched between. At the same time Michael Latimer bland lead lacks any of the Doug McClure charm whose own caveman battling antics in “At The Earth’s Core” or “Land That Time Forgot” this film could be mistaken for attempting to imitate only fall largely flat for the most part.

The plot once we get into the prehistoric world despite a strong setup however soon descends into a blondes versus brunettes storyline as our warring tribes of fur bikini clad ladies face off in this timeline were the brunettes have enslaved the blondes while being led by their beautiful Queen Kari (Beswick) who has enlisted the help of a rival tribe known as “The Devils” who favour wearing papier-mâché animal skull masks and what appears to be half a gorilla costume. Kari offering her slaves to “The Devils” as brides / sacrifices in return for their continued protection.  This ceremony in particular is fantastic to watch as outside of yet more obvious titillation the selected girl is then forced to sit on top of the stuffed rhino which is being worshiped by the tribe in a perhaps unintentionally funny sequence.

Unsurprisingly David is soon picked for mating by Queen Kari only to eventually spurn her efforts when he discovers how cruel her regime is. The other men in the film meanwhile are kept confirmed to the mines and its unclear if Kari’s tribe actually have any male members seeing how like their blonde counterparts they are made up entirely of attractive model types with director Carreras clearly looking to tap into that same market that had been so thrilled by Raquel Welch’s definitive fur bikini antics in “One Million Years B.C.”.

Martine Beswick is probably one of the more memorable aspects of the film as we makes up for her less than believable whip skills with a smouldering shark like beauty, making it more of a shame she doesn’t have a better leading man to play off against. Edina Ronay meanwhile is a likeable enough love interest who performance rests more on how good she looks than her performance which is only just alittle more animated than Latimer while also having the advantage of playing a cave girl so she doesn’t have to emote much.

It should be noted that anyone expecting some papier-mâché / stop motion dinosaur fun will find themselves sadly disappointed as the budget here clearly only stretched to one leopard and a stuffed rhino on casters which is essentially wheeled in the general direction of the cast.  The real action coming at the finale as the recently liberated male slaves uprise and battle the devils in the very obvious soundstage jungle in a fight which it’s hard to actually tell if they are winning or not. Still we get a few creative kills including a girl fight which ends with one of them being pushed into a spit aswell as a fun goring by a rhino.

While this might not be the most painful of viewings it’s disposable at best and all the more surprising that it came from Hammer, even if they were essentially just cashing in on an accidental trend here this is no doubt the sort of film that the teenage me would have loved. Yes there are moments of fun randomness throughout its just you can find the same things elsewhere and no doubt done better.

At The Earth's Core

Title: At The Earth’s Core

Director:  Kevin Connor

Released: 1976
Starring: Peter Cushing, Doug McClure, Caroline Munro, Cy Grant, Godfrey James, Keith Barron

Plot: Victorian scientist Dr. Perry (Cushing) and his assistant David (McClure) are making a test run of their drilling machine “The Iron Mole” when a freak accident throws them off course, were they invariantly discover a prehistoric world of monsters and cavemen ruled by the telepathic Mahars and their mindless Sagoth servants.
 

 

Review: Another of my childhood favourites aswell staring my hero Doug McClure whose fantastical adventures were firm favourites amongst those early cinematic experiences as McClure played rugged heroes all about seducing exotic ladies and generally punching out anything which got in his way, I mean what's not to like about that? While I might not have known his name at the time I did however know that if he was in the film then monsters and dinosaurs would soon follow, an assumption only furthered by the fact that it was only those movies of McClure that were shown over here in the UK.

Based on the novel of the same name by Edgar Rice Burroughs who is no doubt best known for creating both "Tarzan" and "John Carter of Mars" with this first book establishing the fictional hollow Earth of Pellucidar, which would be featured in a further six books with even Tarzan paying a visit to this mysterious land. Needless to say it makes for the perfect vehicle for McClure who at the time was coming in hot on the back of the success of “The Land That Time Forgot” while also finishing off the trilogy that the British production company Amicus had unintentionally created with the prior releases the aforementioned Land that Time Forgot and its sequel “The People That Time Forgot”. This time though he is teamed up to great effect with a blustering Peter Cushing who here is pretty much transferring his Doctor Who persona to a different film, which really only adds to the fun, especially when he’s so frequently hamming things up. Still despite this added bonus or distraction depending on your stand point on his performance, this film really is just business as usual for McClure especially as the film wastes almost zero time before we get out first giant monster encounter, something only added to by the raw awesomeness of McClure who is so cool he’s able to run while still smoking a cigar!

The plot itself is pretty minimalistic and generally serves to fill in the gaps between the monster action and McClure finding someone new to brawl with, which is essentially what he spend most of the film doing, as together with Cushing they form the perfect blend of brains and brawn. This is not to say that David is some square jawed thug, as he frequently proves himself capable thinking through situations especially when it comes to befriending the native human population who handily also speak perfect English despite having no contact with the surface world. Of course such things are minor concern, seeing how the main draw of McClure’s monster movies was the monster themselves with this film featuring the most varied selection from gigantic monsters through to carnivorous plants and even a fire breathing frog here they really pull out the stops with these creations, while clearly not trying to base them on any sort of known dinosaur which was always seemed to the case in the other films.

The villains here are pretty hammy to say the least with the rubbery and far from aerodynamic Mahars, who when not communicating telepathically through a migraine inducing whine, generally just sit around on their cliff top leaving their comb-over loving Sagoth servants to do all the work for them. Unsurprisingly for a bunch of guys in questionable dinosaur costumes when they do take flight it looks as you would expect like a they are flying around with the same sort of wire work you’d expect from a pantomime Peter Pan, while  by the end of the film the production team had clearly had enough of them as they look suspiciously like they have been stuffed with newspaper and just tossed off the cliff top

Shot on soundstages at Pinewood Studios it is perhaps a more limited prehistoric world, but seeing how director Connor was trying to deliver an epic on a budget its not too distracting even if the world is far from as immersive as the other McClure monster movies. However with a large amount of the action taking place in the volcano lair of the Mahar’s it doesn’t ever prove too noticeable until you start looking at the film more closely. Thankfully though Connor keeps things pretty busy on screen for you to pay too much attention to the surroundings for there is usually some monster or heated battle to enjoy and when neither of those are available he generally just parades the scantily clad future Bond girl Munro in front of the camera.

While this might have been a childhood favourite, it still holds up surprisingly well even if perhaps I am viewing it with a healthy dose of nostalgia which certainly helps when some of the creatures are more noticeably rubbery looking than they perhaps did back then. At the same time though this is still a highly entertaining romp aswell as arguably the best of the McClure’s monster movies or making a suitable double bill partner with “Yor: Hunter of the Future”.

Welcome To The Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Title: Welcome To the Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Director: Peter Berg
Released: 2003
Staring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Rosario Dawson, Christopher Walken, Ewen Bremner, Jon Gries, Ernie Reyes Jr, William Lucking, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Plot: Beck (Johnson) is a “retrieval expert”, keen to get out of the business so that he can open a restaurant, something not made easier by boss Walker (Lucking) constantly screwing him over. However when Walker agrees to release Beck from his contract if he can do one last job, he soon finds himself heading to South America to get Walker’s son Travis (Scott) in the town of El Dorado nicknamed “Helldorado” by the locals due to local tyrant Hatcher (Walken) who is not so keen to let Travis leave, especially when he belives that Travis can lead him to a rare artefact O Gato do Diablo aka “The Devils Cat”.
 

Review: Despite being the breakout film for Johnson whom at this point was still working under his equally well know wrestling alter-ego “The Rock”, it surprisingly remains largely unseen by most people outside of wrestling / action fans which is something of a shame as it is certainly one of the better wrestler headling productions which WWE Studios was setup to make, especially with WWE owner Vince McMahon never being one to miss a promotion opportunity, even though wrestlers have hardly had a track record as credible acting talent, even more when such promotion ideas have lead to the world being given such cinematic monstrosities as “Santa With Muscles” and “Mr. Nanny” both staring Hulk Hogan back when he decided to take a break from trying to convince the world he was still relevant as a wrestler and instead was trying to convince the world he could act.

Still this has not been to say that there haven’t been wrestlers who have managed to transfer their ring presence to the screen, as seen with Kane (See No Evil), Rowdy Roddy Piper (They Live / Hell Comes To Frogtown) and current WWE favourite John Cena who surprisingly has not had the same luck that Johnson has had, despite appearing in the surprisingly good “The Marine” and the sadly overlooked “12 Rounds”, though perhaps if he wasn’t appearing in trash like “Fred: The Movie” it might also help. This film however would prove to be just the boost that Johnson’s acting career needed, especially after his previous lead in “The Scorpion King” failed to be the star making vehicle that it was expected to be, while this film seemingly was crafted to work to all of Johnson’s strengths such as his natural charm and general ass kicking abilities, while finally showing him as the leading man the WWE wanted him to be seen as.

Director Berg was an interesting choice to direct this film, especially considering that his only feature credit at this point in his career was the black comedy “Very Bad Things” a polar opposite of this film, which clearly sparked in him a taste for action movies, especially seen by the films like “The Kingdom” and “Battleship” which followed in the wake of this film and here crafts a confident and flashy action comedy which with its treasure hunting subplot also seemingly is trying to work within a similar mould to the Indiana Jones movies. Berg though ensures that the film hits the ground running with a brutal club fight when a collection doesn’t go as smoothly as Beck would like and from here the pace never lets up the film continues at a breezy pace, effortless combining scenes of comedy with bone crunching action, with Johnson proving himself equally at home with either style, while Scott provides most of the laughs as he plays the sort of goofball sidekick that Johnny Knoxville has been for the best part of his acting career been trying to play with decidedly mixed results and even though is essentially the same kind of double act we saw in “Bullet Proof Monk”. Also on comedy relief is Ewan Bremner who no doubt most of us remember as Spud from Trainspotting, than any of his other random roles and here seems to be have been included only because American audiences find the Scottish accent insanely funny or so it would seem, especially considering that its this kind of thinking that gave Shrek (something else I don’t get the appeal of) a Scottish accent.

Certainly what really helps this film though is the huge advantage of casting Walken as its Villain, who here truly is on scene chewing duties as he manages to invoke the same kind of presence that he had in “King of New York” were he doesn’t need to rely on random of acts of violence to seem imposing and like Frank in that film, he has his group of thugs enforce his will should anyone wish to test him, which in this case is a group of bullwhip welding heavies. Meanwhile his income is supplied through forcing the local villagers to dig in his mines for gold, something which I have a feeling was more the result of a rewrite in the production process, even more so when his mines have more the look of a blood diamond mine, which is what I assume he was originally mining for. Still this is Walken at his villainous best, so that when he steps up to a towering man mountain like Johnson (even more so outside of the ring), he still retains an intimidating error and one of someone very much in control of the situation, even though Beck could no doubt despatch of Hatcher with the minimum amount of ease, Hatcher’s status within this village as a tyrant means that he raised well before his own limitations and it’s a role sold perfectly by Walken.

Beck though is far from your traditional action hero, seeing how he shuns the use of guns and would prefer to diplomatically work things out with his foes, rather than just using his fists, as seen during the opening confrontation, were after his initial attempts to reason with the football player he’s been set to collect from result in a drink to the face, normal cue to said football player to be introduced to alittle badass dentistry, but instead Beck walks away and phone his bosses to try and find another way to handle the situation, only to then be forced into unleashing his badass side which as we will see throughout the film is never a good thing for those crossing Beck. However bizarrely there is no real reason given for why Beck handles his business like this or why he hates guns, with the only reason being given is the idea that seemingly Beck is only in his current line of work to help fund his restaurant dream. Beck however as would see with the later action movies Johnson has made, is the same kind of softly softly action hero that his future similar roles would be cast from and the sort of badass that Vin Diesel likes to play, were with their size they appear dominating yet are more happy to avoid confrontation were they can and either reason or intimidate those who get in their way, before resorting to a good old fashioned ass kicking when that fails.

Looking back at this film it is now easy to see how Johnson made the leap from wrestler to actor, even more so with the bold career choices which followed such as his lead role in “Southland Tales”, making it all the more of a shame that most people seem to be more interested in his later films when he changed his name and became a full time actor than these early films which only makes it more of a shame especially when they are missing out on the generally fun times this film provides, while it’s Indiana Jones style elements make me wish that it had gotten a sequel, but for now we have to contend with just this one adventure while being left to dream as to what could have been.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec

Title: The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec
Director: Luc Besson
Released: 2010
Staring: Louise Bourgoin, Mathiew Amalric, Gilles Lellouche, Jean-Paul Rouve, Jacky Nercessian, Philippe Nahon, Nicolas Giraud

Plot: Desperate to cure her near catatonic sister, intrepid authoress & adventurer Adèle Blanc-Sec (Bourgoin) returns from her latest expedition to locate a mummified doctor, for whom she is hoping that oddball Professor Espérandieu (Nercessian) will be able to use his unusual powers to bring the doctor back to life so he, in turn, can use his centuries-old skills on the unfortunate sister. However in Paris Espérandieu is already causing mayhem with his powers, having brought to life what was a safe museum egg but is now a very active pterodactyl. Paris 1911 may not be the healthiest place to be.



Review: Luc Besson is probably the first director whom I can say was my first director obsession, an obsession which began really when I was still in school with films like Leon, Atlantis, Nikita and The Big Blue all which fuelled this interest in his work, which only continued to grow with each of his films which I hunted down, while in many ways being largely responsible for my ongoing love of French cinema.

Still the problem with being a fan of Besson is that he’s a director who seemingly doesn’t like directing, especially when his total body of work totals 17 films as a director over the 31 years in which he has been active, which I know might not make him as work shy as some directors such as Terrence Malick, but is still frustrating as hell to his fans waiting on him to direct his next film, especially when he has such undeniable talent as a director which seemingly also stretches to writing and producing, seeing how he has busied himself between films by writing and producing the likes of “Taxi” and “District 13”, aswell as also keeping a healthy presence in Hollywood with the likes of “The Transporter” and “Kiss of The Dragon”.

Still it is always exciting to have a new Besson movie to watch and needless to say I was excited to see this newest offering, which is based on the popular French comic book series by Jacques Tardi but has seemingly yet to find the same popularity elsewhere, something which will hopfully change with the release of this film, which is based on the stories “Adèle and the Beast” and “Mummies on Parade”. Besson has openly admitted to be being a big fan of the series and as such is the perfect director, much like Guillermo Del Toro was to make “Hellboy”. Despite not being the most well known comic book characters, Adèle is an instantly likable creation and while she may seem like a mash up of “Amelie” and “Indiana Jones”, Adèle is actually a lot more to her character for not only is she a female adventurer, but also feisty and self assured, to the point were she refuses to resign herself to any of the traditional expectations of a lady in 1911 Paris, yet at the same time refuses to dress in any form of tom boy fashion as is traditionally expected from this kind of character, but rather looks every part the immaculately dressed well lady of class and dignity at all times, whether raiding tombs in Egypt or hunting down a rouge pterodactyl in Paris making here every bit the kind of heroine which Besson favours, especially with his films having a legacy of producing memorable and strong female characters and Adèle is no exception to this.

The driving force for Adèle though is the true heart of the story, for it is drawn from the guilt she feel for her sisters condition, who has been in a catatonic state, since a fiercely competitively game of tennis ended tragically thanks to a stray hat pin and ended up leaving her sister in her current condition, leading her on a series of adventures to try and find the cure, with her latest hope lying with the mummified doctor of Ramesses II and his mythical healing abilities. However it is also a guilt which she keeps a closely guarded secret and in many ways explains for her cold front which she put across in the public eye, especially when it comes to potential male suitors, unsurprisingly attracted to her ravishing good looks, which is an attribute that Bourgoin easily captures, much like her complete embodiment of the role as she is completely believable in the role and easily switches between the various forms Adèle takes over the film, from adventurer to socialite with Bourgoin effortlessly making each change, let alone the scenes which see her repeatedly trying to break Professor Espérandieu, via the use of a number of questionable disguises.

The rest of the cast are equally game with former Bond villain Amalric, unrecognisable under a mountain of heavy make up and prosthetic’s to play the films main villain Dieuleveult, while Lellouche is equally fun as the dim witted Inspector Caponi, whose attempts to have dinner are frequently interrupted by one of the films supernatural events, with the tone of the film generally being a fun one, with Besson much preferring to have fun with these characters than put any of them into any form of serious context, while a noticeable absence of tacked on romance is a refreshing choice, even though we still have hanger-on Andrej, who harbours a healthy affection for Adèle even if his feeling are unreciprocated.

Undeniably this is a very pretty film to look at much like the rest of Besson’s films, with the effort being put into the details with an especially heavy use of practical effects and sets, rather than a reliance on CGI, which is refreshing only used sporadically throughout and mainly for the more fantastical effects, which ultimately pays off, allowing the viewer to loose themselves in the fantasy, rather than being sharply knocked back into reality by the random appearances of cheap looking CGI effects.

Shot with blistering speed it’s a fun and action packed 107 minutes, with the lack of seriousness in the plot only making it all the more of an enjoyable ride, especially when Besson keeps managing to surprising the audience by some new fun avenue to explore or just from the simplest of moments such as Adèle’s cries of “In my Arms” every time she leaps into someone or celebrity big game hunter Justin de Saint-Hubert (Rouve) dressing up as a sheep to lure the rouge pterodactyl into his trap and it’s the kind of film which helps showcase to the doubters, many who have frowned on his more recent efforts, will find it very much a return to form for Besson. Unquestionably though this is one series I would love to see continued, as Adèle is far too much of a fun character to be restrained to just one movie, so hopefully Besson will continue the series and take us on another equally fun adventure.