Turbo Kid

Title: Turbo Kid
Director: Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, Yoann-Karl Whissell
Released: 2015
Starring: Munro Chambers, Laurence Leboeuf, Michael Ironside, Edwin Wright, Aaron Jeffery, Romano Orzari

Plot: In a post-apocalyptic future, a BMX riding scavenger known only as the Kid (Simard) is forced to become a hero when he meets a mysterious girl called Apple (Leboeuf). Now assuming the role of his favourite comic book character and armed with an ancient powerful weapon, he must face the sadistic and self-proclaimed leader of the wasteland Zeus (Ironside)

Review: Originally starting life as the curious short film “T For Turbo” created for the original “ABC’s of Death” only to ultimately not make the cut, the film would instead remain a curiosity passed around cult / genre cinema fans who recognised its throwback 80’s styling, while at the same time lapping up its neo-grindhouse approach to gore and violence which thankfully has been carried across now it’s been turned into a full length feature. While this is unquestionably another entry in the opinion dividing Neo-grindhouse genre, which started with the Tarantino / Rodriguez double header “Grindhouse” and has since spawned in its wake films such as “Hobo With A Shotgun” let alone paving the way for the films of “Astron-6” who have so far given us the likes of “Father’s Day” and “Manborg”. However unlike the previous entries into this genre here we actually have a film finally which has some heart and warmth, rather than an onslaught of splatter and nods to the era these films are so fondly paying homage to.

Opening with the Kid as he embarks on one of his scavenger runs, this is a world perfectly introduced during these opening moments for while these barren and charred wastelands might seem familiar of countless other post-apocalyptic movies, the significant difference here is the lack of transport options with no active vehicles or even horses to ride, the surviving population are forced to get around on that other 80’s staple – the BMX bike! This fact alone really makes the film stand out for while it’s a cool aesthetic to have the hero riding around the wasteland on his BMX, it looks sheer bonkers when you see Zeus henchmen also do the same thing.

The Kid as his name suggests views the world with a wide eyed curiosity with every scrap of the old world, providing something of interest or to be utilised, this childlike behaviour becoming more clear towards the end of the film when we discover what happened to his family, but even his naivety is nothing compared to Apple who literally views the world with a wide eyed wonder, let alone a permeant upbeat nature, again something which is explained later in the film rather than leaving the audience to wonder if Leboeuf was just making some unique choices with her portrayal of this character.

When it comes to the villains Ironside is once more on top villainous duties as the eyepatch wearing sadist Zeus, who thinks little of having his captives’ battle to the death for his personal amusement before using the machine he’s constructed to extract the water from their bodies. At the same time it’s a warped humour that he brings to the film, as he gives us such great moments as belating a captive whose intestines have been attached to a bicycle wheel for giving up before he had a chance to use his invention, more so for how long it took them to set it up. The most random thing though is how similar he looks to Dennis Hopper in “Waterworld” which seems to be more of a coincidence than anything, especially when the two characters share nothing more than a wardrobe. At the same time he is also joined by possibly one of the best henchmen since General Kael in “Willow” with his own skull mask wearing henchmen “Skeletron” (Wright) who might be one of the best character designs since “The Plague” from “Hobo With A Shotgun” and who like them might run the risk of overshadowing the other characters in the film, especially with his wrist mounted buzzsaw blade launcher and the fact that he is completely mute for the whole film which only makes him more of a badass.

The film moves at a decent pace while certainly having more heart than so many of its neo-grindhouse kindred who tend to get so lost on the splatter and creating mood that they forget that the audience has to actually like the characters they are following. At the same time the connection between the Kid and Apple feels completely natural and never forced, even if it is an unusual connection with her permanent hyperactivity and his naivety yet somehow it works. Interesting this angle was seemingly only as well worked due to budget restraints forcing the directors to scale back some of their intended action scenes which might have worked for the better. Despite the action being scaled back from the film makers original intentions, this does not however mean that the film is lacking as we get several fun action scenes including a spectacular finale which insures that it ends on a high note. At the same time these scenes are heavy on splatter as bodies explode into bloody showers and the kills being especially creative and only added to by the use of practical effects and minimal CGI which is certainly a welcome sight in these CGI heavy times.

While certainly an highly original concept and one I would love to see continued further, it does however feel sluggish in places and as such took longer than I would have liked for the film to find its direction, with the finale unquestionably really clawing back a lot for this film and inturn adding to the experience. That being said this is the sort of film which will unquestionably play well for the cult cinema crowds which I've little doubt it will soon become a regular feature, while at the same time perhaps too random for the mainstream crowd to appreciate. As such it only makes me the more sadder that we live in these times were video stores are few and far between as this is the sort of film which would thrive on rental, making me hope that its snapped up by one of the streaming services as soon as possible to ensure it finds the audience it deserves.

Dear God No

Title: Dear God No

Director: James Bickert
Released: 2011

Starring: Jett Bryant, Madeline Brumby, Paul McComiskey, Olivia La Croix, Shane Morton, Johnny Collins, Nick Morgan, James Bickert, Rachelle Lynn, Heath Street, Billy Ratliff, Tim McGahren, Jim Sligh, Johnny McGowan

Plot: The impalers a psychotic group of bikers, lead by the bloodthirsty Jett (Bryant) on the run from their latest run in with rival bikers Satan’s Own stumble across the mountain cabin of Dr. Marco (McComisky).

Review: Ever since Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez unintentionally launched the Neo-Grindhouse genre with their double feature homage “Grindhouse” (it could be argued that any of their films were equally responsible for spawning this sub-genre) there has been a slew of titles which followed in its wake, all attempting to capture the grindhouse spirit with arguably varied levels from the raw grime of “The Devils Rejects” to the sheer randomness of “Hobo With A Shotgun”. However there are those films which miss the mark completely which is a category which its safe to say this film belongs in.

A truly grating viewing experience to say the least, I don’t think since watching “Deaden” or “The Zombie Diaries” have I found a film as frustrating a this film turned out to be which is really saying something when this feeling hits you a mere five minutes into the film, when you are treated to the members of the impalers riding their bikes alongside the camera and giving the audience the finger, which it seems director Bickert is frequently doing throughout this film as it becomes a black hole of depravity and sheer randomness….and not in a good way before those of you who look for those sorts of things start getting too excited.

One the main issues here though outside of the paper thin plotting is the bombardment of plot devices which Bickert throws into the mix, as not content to make just a biker or home invasion movie, Bickert instead tosses in plot devices left right and centre including a psycho nympho mother (and possible zombie) locked in the basement, Nazi experiments and even a killer sasquatch. The end result unsurprisingly is confused mess as each new element competes for time with the other, while Bickert seemingly assumes that stringing it all together with copious gore and nudity is all that is required to tie it all together, which it soon becomes painfully obvious is not the case.

The cast are forgettable with most seemingly coming from the “The Asylum” school of over acting, while only further hindered by how unlikable or interchangeable their characters are, which is especially the case with the members of the Impalers with whom their leader Jett is the only memorable one and that could be more to do with the striking resemblance to Zak Wilde than anything performance wise. Acting ability it would seem though is on the lower end of the Bickert’s concerns as like Eli Roth his concerns seem to be more with how willing the actresses were to get naked than any kind of acting ability. A theory which is only reinforced by the sheer amount of exposed skin on show here, which no doubt makes this film a favourite of teenage boys. Yes there is a lot of creativity when it comes to the nudity even if it seems to frequently be soley for the reason that Bickert can get away with it, be it via hostages, drug trips or even more bizarrely Nixon mask wearing strippers!?!

The flip side of Bickert’s attention here is clearly on ensuring that he included a healthy gore quota, as he rarely misses the opportunity to include some splatter, providing several of the more memorable moments, such as a shootout with the aforementioned masked strippers while his sasquatch gets the majority of the creative kills including a perhaps unintentionally funny decapitation. The effects unsurprisingly show ambition yet are held back by the budget, while the insistence on showing every gory detail only further plays against the film.

Bickert clearly aiming to recreate the grime and sleaze of the glory days of grindhouse cinema, ultimately misses the mark as while he might pack the film with enough nudity and violence to match the films he is drawing inspiration from, the half-baked plotting and general soulless feel of the film only overwhelm any potential the film has. Needless to say the plotting could equally be helped by Bickert not trying to work so many elements into the film, let alone so frequently shift the genre the film, a trick I have only previously seen work once before in the far superior “Pig Hunt” which memorably frequently shifted genres throughout its runtime, though unlike this film didn’t lose its audience in the process. A sleazy and generally mean spirited film, this is one best avoided, especially when the title no doubt will sum up your feelings about watching it again if you do.

Machete Kills

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Machete Kills
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Released: 2013

Staring: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Plot: Following on from the events of the original film, Machete is put on the path of revenge when his girlfriend Sartana (Jessica Alba) is killed by a mysterious masked man while attempting to capture weapons dealers supplying the Mexican drug cartels. Now recruited by President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, here appearing as Carlos Estevez) with the promise of citizenship, Machete is sent to eliminate Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) who is currently threatening to fire a nuclear missile at the White House.  Soon however Machete discovers that the mysterious masked man might also be linked to the plot aswell.

Review: For a film which started out as a joke trailer in the financial misfire (yet critically acclaimed) “Grindhouse”, Machete has turned into quite the trilogy while at the same time certainly doing no harm for Danny Trejo’s stock. Launching him from token bad guy to recognisable leading man as in the wake of the original “Machete” it seemed that everyone couldn’t get enough of the former bare knuckle boxing champion of San Quentin and young offender councillor. Needless to say it was only a matter of time before director Robert Rodriguez gave the world a follow up to his cult favourite.

While the original film might have been the tale of a badass seeking revenge after he is double crossed by his employers, this film decides to spin the franchise off in a new direction as Machete here takes on more of a “XXX” style spy role as he dashes for the border with Marcos, who has hardwired the nuke to his heart and eventually sets out to foil the Bond villain esq schemes of the “Star Wars” obsessed weapons manufacturer Luther Voz (Mel Gibson).  It’s a certainly an intresting change of pace and one which actually benefited the film, especially when the original always felt that it was being hampered by being built around its fake trailer and as such was just finding a way to link each of the trailers set pieces together.

This time taking sole ownership of the director’s chair having previously co-directed the original with his long term editor Ethan Maniquis, this time it is truly Rodriguez’s film and one which certainly finds him a playful mood once again, as he aims to maintain the Neo-Grindhouse aesthetic from the fake opening trailer for “Machete Kills Again… In Space” and classic feature presentation title card, through to even throwing in an old school 3D sequence (yes the old blue and green glasses style) to rival his breaking film scene in “Planet Terror”. Equally at the same time this also see’s him throwing plausibility out of the window as the franchise doesn’t so much jump the shark but the whole freaking aquarium! Needless to say this is a film which like its closest comparison “XXX” works best when you’re not questioning what you’re watching and just enjoy the ride. After all there are countless movies and franchises currently obsessed with realism so what’s wrong with alittle raw escapism which is what you get here.

Having established the Mexican James Bond vibe early on Rodriguez really works it in every conceivable way, with Machete getting to utilise a number of customised machete’s including a tri-bladed model which his beauty queen liason (Amber Heard) refers to as the swiss army knife of machete’s  while still managing to keep the character every bit as gritty as he was in the first film, with Trejo with his trademark tattoos and tanned leather features fully embodies this character even more so the second time around, as he makes even Machete’s habit of referring to himself in the third person sound cool. This Bond theme also continues to the main villain here as Voz is every bit the bond villain with his scheme sounding very familiar to that of Drax’s in “Moonraker”, but despite this similarity here we get to see Mel Gibson on truly bonkers form, as he embodies the role even when engaging in a machete / sword fight while wearing a cape! Thankfully Rodriguez is one of the few people in Hollywood able to separate Gibson’s troubled personal life from the actor as he is truly one of the big draws here and perhaps only rivalled by the multiple personality antic’s of Birchir’s Mexican revolutionary Mendez whose hyper personality makes him another fun character while never pushing it so far that it becomes irritating.

Much like the first film Rodriguez has assembled a great ensemble cast to flesh out this colourful world he continues to craft here and one which see’s “Modern Family” favourite Sofia Vergara cranks up her crazy to psychotic as brothel owner Madame Desdemona who not only has her own army of prostitute assassins (a nod to Blaxploitation favourite “Dolemite” ) aswell as a twin minigun bra she refers to as her “Double D’s”. Equally game is Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga as the various faces of shape shifting assassin El Camaleón a role which not only sees Gooding Jr. giving his best performance in years, but also proving that Lady Gaga is more of an accomplished actor than first suspected, especially when I was left wanting to see more of her in this film and something which could be corrected in “Machete Kills Again…In Space” if the fake trailer is to be believed. True there are so which might argue that she has already had enough practice with the antics of her usual disco punk persona, but here she is in perfect form as she sneers her way through the film.

Upping the ante in every way possible from the first film, Rodriguez fully up the splatter as heads roll and helicopter blades especially are put to creative use on more than one occasion. The action scenes aswell are fully stepped up a number of fantastic set pieces including a “Mad Max” inspired car chase complete with George Miller style speeded up shots. Rodriguez though once again shows himself as a director with an eye for action, even if he might not be known as an action director, here he once more shows that he knows his way around a set piece and with his cousin Trejo he really does have the perfect grizzled action hero.

After the patchy “Machete” this film really steps up the fun of the first film, while correcting many of the mistakes made first time around, even if like the original it still suffers with a bloated third act. So with Sci-fi set to be the theme for the third and final part I can only imagine how Rodriguez plans on topping the madness of this film,  but if anything this film has certainly laid down a strong foundation, so leave your expectations at the door, just buy the ticket and enjoy the ride.

Hobo With A Shotgun

Title: Hobo With A Shotgun

Director: Jason Eisener
Released: 2011
Starring: Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith, Nick Bateman, Pasha Ebrahimi, Jeremy Akerman, Peter Simas

Plot: A nameless Hobo (Hauer) arrives in Hope Town via a freight train box car with plans of buying a lawnmower and to start a new life for himself. However when he soon discovers that Hope Town has long since decended into lawless chaos, with the locals now referring to it as “Scum Town” while being ruled by the ruthless crime lord “The Drake” (Downey). Now arming himself with a pump action shotgun the Hobo sets out to dish out his own brand of vigilante justice.

Review: It’s true I might be alittle behind the bandwagon for this one, seeing how it was greeted with much excitement upon its release as it marked the start of the second wave of Neo-grindhouse movies being released in the wake of “Grindhouse”, a film I’ve already commented on numerous times previously due to its distribution being screwed up by the Weinstein’s figuring that British audiences (and pretty much everywhere outside of the states) were too dumb to get the format and split it into its individual films, rather than give us the true experience. Still it the legacy of the film and the Neo-Grindhouse genre it kick startednnot only gave us the trailer which spawned “Machette” aswell as “Machette Kills”, but also gave the world the first glimpse of this film as it appeared as one of the fake trailers on some prints of “Grindhouse”.

Right from the start director Eisener who makes his feature directorial debut here clearly likes to wear his influences on his sleeve, which in this case would seem to be largely gained from the OTT style of Troma Studios while mixing it up with the splatter and social satire style of Paul Verhoeven, all of which is clear from the opening scenes, which includes a barbwire decapitation and fountains of blood while the crime ridden streets of the streets of scum town seem to have been transplanted from Verhoeven’s classic “Robocop”. Still even the briefest of looks at the trailer alone highlights that like his inspirations, Eisener is not the sort of director who does anything subtly making the Neo-Grindhouse genre the perfect playground for his style, especially as its audience come expecting violence and splatter and here Eisener delivers both in spades.

Still there is thankfully a brain behind the splatter (if a delightfully sleazy one) as while he has certainly crafted one of the more splatter heavy films of recent years, Eisener still bothers to craft a half decent tale before getting distracted with unleashing carnage. On the downside his approaches to the material is with so excitable and frenzied, it can feel at times like you’re watching the product of a kid with ADD while on a sugar binge. At the same time he frequently stumbles when faced with the slower paced sequences as seen during the more tender moments between the hobo and aspiring school teacher turned prostitute Abby (Dunsworth) who despite seemingly having nothing in common, the Hobo recognises her innocence despite the world around them which continually threatens to corrupt her innocence.

Unsurprisingly the film is far from the deepest of viewing experiences with Eisener having a good eye for characterisation as he crafts some truly memorable characters, who are truly brought to life here with some great casting choices, with Hauer as the nameless hobo full of pure grit and snarl while Downey makes a perfect counter as the ruthless and sadistic Drake, whose love of showmanship and theatrics makes him the perfect centre piece in the collection of villainy and scum that Eisener has filled the streets of Scum town with. Oh and what a collection of scumbags it is, for like “The Toxic Crusader” these streets lined with the likes of the paedophile Santa and the director making bum fights style movies, all of which soon find themselves soon enough on the business end of the hobo’s shotgun as he sets about cleaning up the town and with such a black and white devide behind good and evil, there is no real moral questions raised regarding the hobos methods. Even more so when The Drake responds to the Hobo’s actions by carring out a mass hobo genocide in one of the films splatter centrepieces. Sadly he does miss a trick by underusing “The Plague” a pair of hired gun and full blown psycho’s hired by The Drake, who also dress like the medieval version of Daft Punk. However they are only introduced in the final quarter, leaving kind of disappointed that they are not used more, especially when they are such a unique and fun creation and generally hoping that Eisener finds some way of reusing them.

While most of the film is generally a care free exploitation throw back with Eisener generally flipping the bird to the censors and mainstream Hollywood, there are however a few moments were I felt the film perhaps overstepped the mark perhaps slightly too much and these were in the few scenes which saw children being openly threatened, while a school bus of kids being incinerated by a flame thrower to the strains of Disco Inferno just comes off as tasteless, even if it does makes a suitable setup for the death of one character whose soul we seeing being metaphorically dragged to hell in the same burning school bus.

As always the case with any film junkie who uses their expansive film knowledge in their film making the need to draw comparisons between them and Tarantino seems almost inevitable like Adam Green, but here Eisener seems only concerned with using the films which influenced this film as a reference point for his shooting style especially as he shoots the film in saturated and shifted colours rather than trying to reimagine scenes from the films he draws inspiration from. The soundtrack itself is also a throwback while also baffling including Lisa Lougheed’s “Run With Us” which let’s not forget was memorably also used on the 80’s childhood favourite “The Racoons” yet surprisingly it works rather well here.

A frequently grimy and hyperactive debut feature, but a noteworthy addition to the Neo-grindhouse genre, while were Eisener will go next is till unclear but providing he can dial back his over brimming enthusiasm slightly he could certainly be an interesting director to follow, especially if this debut is anything to go off.

Chillerama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Chillerama

Director: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan
Released: 2011
Starring: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Owen Benjamin, Ray Wise, Eric Roberts, Miles Dougal, Lin Shaye, Sean Paul Lockhart, Anton Troy, Gabby West, Adam Robitel, Ron Jeremy, Tim Sullivan, Thomas C. Colby-Dog, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, Jim Ward, Richard Riehle, Corey Jones, Kaili Thorne, Brendan McCreary, Ward Roberts

Plot: It’s the closing night of the last drive-in theatre in America and owner Cecil B. Kaufman has decided to go out with a bang by holding a marathon of cinematic trash for his faithful cinephile patrons. Unknown to them though is the fact that one of the staff has contracted a zombie virus through some ill-advised necrophilia, ensuring this is going to be nothing short of a memorable closing night.

Review: While many may have hailed Eli Roth as the saviour of the horror genre, a title which he has sadly failed to live up to, especially considering how he is more concerned with taking on producing duties these days than sitting in the directors chair, as only further highlighted by the gap between “Hostel 2” and the forthcoming “The Green Inferno”. Infact if anyone could be branded as a saviour for the genre, I would personally venture that it would have to be Adam Green, whom since unleashing “Hatchet” has only feverishly continued to add to the genre, as he followed it up with not only a sequel to this debut, but also the critically acclaimed “Frozen” which showed that he was more than another splatter director.More surprisingly though he has also givin us the horror version of “The Big Bang Theory” with “Holliston” which he also stars in with fellow horror director and best friend Joe Lynch, who unsurprisingly is also on hand to direct a segment here.

Now the unholy twosome join forces with Adam Rifkin and Tim Sullivan to create this horror comedy anthology, an idea originally devised by Rifkin and Sullivan as a weekly show for MTV, only for it to fall through due to the increased popularity in reality shows. Now recruiting Green and Lynch to their cause it finally makes it to the screen in movie form and I was eager to see how it stood up alongside the classic Anthologies which came before it like “Tales From The Darkside” and “Creepshow”, aswell as the knowing nods to B-movie culture much like we saw with the criminally separated “Grindhouse” whose double feature format failed to make it out of the States as it was released internationally as two separate films.

Comprised of four films with each director getting their own chance to craft their own vision, as they give us here

• Wadzilla (directed by Adam Rifkin) – A monster sized man eating sperm goes on a rampage through New York.

• I Was a Teenage Werebear (directed by Tim Sullivan) – The sole musical entry in the film, set in 1962 were Ricky (Lockheart) a closet gay discovers a mysterious gang, who also happen to turn into leather daddy werebears when aroused.

• The Diary of Anne Frankenstein (directed by Adam Green) – The secret attempt by Hitler (Moore) to create the perfect killing machine to help turn the tide of the war, while in turn giving the world his Jewish Frankenstein Meshugannah (Hodder) 

• Zom-B-Movie (directed by Joe Lynch) – The main meat of the film, which is intercut with the other films, as sex crazed zombies invade the drive through while ensuring the film end with a suitably splatter soaked finale

As you can see it is a real mixed bag on offer here in terms of style and ideas, yet all keep within the general theme the film shows….one that it would seem drenched in bodily fluids and gore, served up with a heavy dose of warped humour, which is not a bad thing and certainly gives the bad taste aficionados plenty to enjoy. The downside though is that like “Four Rooms” the level of talent on offer here is varying to say the least, resulting in a film which is frequently uneven in places as the standard shifts from piece to piece with Green and Lynch easily having the stronger segments, with their experience of working in the genre really coming into play, with Lynch’s “Zom-B-Movie” throwing out cheeky nods to the zombie genre left, right and centre while seemingly also attempting to top the splatter finale of Peter Jackson’s legendry “Braindead” while at the same giving it a sex comedy style twist which has to be seen to be believed. Meanwhile Green’s twist on Frankenstein is so over the top that despite the high potential to cause offence by poking fun at what could essentially be volatile subject matter, is quickly put to rest by the ever increasing levels of randomness, which has a real Mel Brooks feel to it as the film self acknowledges its own stupidity, even having cast step outside of the sets and actors suddenly being replaced by questionable looking dummies.

Sadly were the film hits a major bump is with “I Was A Teenage Werebear” which attempts to give us “Grease” via the way of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, which is a dangerous idea to begin with when you consider that even Richard O’Brian couldn’t create a sequel to beat his creation, so it is essentially destinted to fail from the start as any number of tepid stage versions trying to capture the magic of the film have only further proven. The main problem here is not so much with the plot, which embraces carefree gay love, aswell as the confusion for a young man still forced to live in the closet, all great themes to see being used and obviously ideas close to the heart of the segments director seeing how Sullivan himself is openly gay (and rather keen to drop this fact in for any promotional material for the film). What lets this segment down is instead the weak collection of forgettable songs being warbled by the cast. None of these song I have to confess would have me rushing to buy the soundtrack, which has been optimistically released alongside the film, while Sullivan has also hinted at a full length stage version, something else that I’m not exactly on tender hooks to see, especially as this segment is only just bearable, thanks to some over the top and frequently original splatter.

One thing which stuck with me about this film though is the continuous obsession with bodily fluids, as the film seems to take any opportunity to ensure that all feature in some form or another with “Wadzilla” with its giant sperm and tidal wave cum shots ensuring that it comes off like a more light hearted version of the body shocker “Bad Biology”. Still the bad taste aficionados amongst you will no doubt appreciate the sheer effort which has been put into this film to ensure that they are all covered for your viewing pleasure, which includes a scatological themed “Deathication”. Thankfully its not a theme which overshadows the whole film, but one which certainly crops up enough to be noticeable.

While the segments might vary greatly in quality and style, the strength of “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein” and “Zom-B-Movie” prove to be more than enough to cover for the weaker parts of the film. At the same time while watching this I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing the audience element which no doubt has made this such a popular film on the horror festival circuit and as such I would recommend watching this with a group of like-minded friends to get the full effect intended.

The Man With The Iron Fists

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: The Man With The Iron Fists

Director: RZA
Released: 2012
Staring: RZA, Russell Crowe, Cung Le, Lucy Liu, Rick Yune, David Bautista, Jamie Chung, Byron Mann, Kuan Tai Chen

Plot: In nineteenth century China, Jungle Village is home to several warring clans. The village blacksmith (RZA) creates deadly weapons for the clans, intending to use his payments to purchase the freedom of his lover Lady Silk (Chung), and escape the village. The region's governor tasks the Lion Clan's leader Gold Lion (Chen) with protecting a large shipment of gold that must pass through the village. Gold is betrayed by his lieutenants Silver Lion (Mann) and Bronze Lion (Le), who plan to steal the gold. Gold's son Zen-Yi (Yune) soon learns of his father's murder and sets off to the village to seek revenge, while the Emperor’s undercover emissary Jack Knife (Crowe) arrives at Jungle Village to monitor the gold as the stage is soon set for epic showdown.

Review: Opening to a showdown between two martial arts masters, set to the beat of the Wu-Tang Clan’s “Shame On A Nigga this opening scene essentially sets the tone of what is to follow here with Rapper, Producer, defacto leader of the Wu-Tang Clan making both his writing and directing debut. For the established RZA fanbase it will come as little surprise that he would choose to make an homage to the classic Kung fu movies of the Shaw Bros. Considering that how frequentlythese movies have been sampled for the Wu-Tang Clan’s albums, while RZA has frequently expressed his love for the Martial Arts genre in the past so it would only be inevitable that he would eventually get around to making one of his own. This is not to say that it has not happened through lack trying, considering that the project has been in development since 2003 when he was produced the soundtrack for Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill”, later being joined by Eli Roth after RZA explained the premise for the film to him on a flight from Iceland to LA.

As a fan of the movies that this film is drawing inspiration from, I certainly got a kick out of this film, in much the same way that I did with “Kill Bill” which clearly seems to have been the main source of directing inspiration for RZA with the film is very much in the same Neo-grindhouse style, while the “Quentin Tarantino Presents” label only further cements its place as part of the Neo Grindhouse world that Tarantino and Robert Rodreigez have been crafting over the last few years with films like Machete and most importantly “Planet Terror” and “Death Proof” the two films which made up their powerhouse double feature “Grindhouse”, which the UK would sadly never get to see when the Weinstein’s decided to use the US box office for the general opinion of the rest of the world (cheers for that). As with the other films which have appeared within the genre, RZA has not felt compelled to stick strictly to the Shaw Bros. template, something especially seen with him shunning a more traditional Asian soundtrack in favour of a more Hip Hop flavoured one, like the ones seen in both “Ghost Dog: The Way of The Samurai” and “Afro Samurai” (also produced by RZA) and the anime series “Samurai Champloo” and here it is none the less effective

The plot despite being multistrand, still works from the most paper thin of plotting, as Gold or revenge are the sole motivations for the characters seen here, with RZA’s blacksmith providing a gravely voice over generally provides any information you require regarding the various factions in play. Needless to say thanks to the sheer amount of characters involved it does get at times slightly confusing knowing who belongs with who. On the flip side of this though, the numerous characters are one of the strengths of the film, seeing how individual each one is, as RZA’s knowledge of the genre really comes into play, especially with his character design frequently giving nods to memorable characters from other Kung Fu movies, with a prime example being former WWE wrester turned MMA fighter David Bautista who here appears as Brass Body, seemingly a reworking of the steel body warlord seen in “Fist of the North Star” a film RZA has previous named as being one of his favourites. This is not however to say that every character is a copy or a reworking as the film still features plenty of truly original characters like Crowe’s Jack Knife and RZA’s titular iron armed blacksmith only add to the fun, much like the cameo’s by Pam Grier as the blacksmiths mother, aswell as Gordon Liu as his Kung Fu mentor “The Abbot” who appears in the mandatory training montage / flashback.

The cast all seem to be game  especially playing such frequently outlandish characters with Crowe handling most of the dramatic heavy lifting, while also getting most of the best lines in the film. Equally on form is Lucy Lui as local brothel owner Madame Blossom who also heads up her own kick ass team of female Ninja’s called “The Black Widows” as she reworks her “Kill Bill” character O-Ren Ishii with satisfying results. On the lower end of acting ability though is RZA, who while perhaps not exactly known for his acting ability is still watchable here, if still not exactly big emotion and certainly still manages to embody the role of the blacksmith aswell providing a suitably atmospheric voice over.

However the real star of the show is bone crunching fight scenes choreographed by Corey Yuen, with RZA aiming for spectacle and variety as each fight sequence is different from the next and culminating in a multi-fight brothel showdown which is very much a satisfying payoff to the film, despite RZA due to delays in shooting opting to use CGI for some of the more tricky gore aspect, which thankfully are subtle enough to go unnoticed, while Yuen’s inventive choreography provides more than an enough of an enjoyable distraction combined with some at times bold cinematography make for a powerful combination.

rue this film may have its flaws, but for the established ans of Hong Kong cinema they will find much to enjoy here, especially when the film is so stylistically close to its source material, yet still original enough to hold to eliminate any feelings of Déjà vu and compared to some of the films which have made this years “Best Film” list for the Oscars / BAFTA’s I would say with a perhaps a couple of exceptions (Django unchained being a main one) that this was a much more entertaining film and one I would love to revisit, over enduring one of those films again.

Bitch Slap

Title: Bitch Slap
Director: Rick Jacobson
Released: 2009
Staring: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo, Michael Hurst, William Gregory Lee, Minae Noji, Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O’Connor, Zoe Bell, Ron Melendez

Rating: 4 / 5

Plot: Stripper Trixe (Voth), Business executive Hel (Cummings) and Psycho ex con Camero (Olivo), form an unlikely alliance, to steal a stash of diamonds from the mysterious crime kingpin Pinky.

Review: Honestly I was kind of unsure whether I’d get on with “Bitch Slap” especially seeing how it came off in the trailers like an indie remake of Russ Meyer’s “Faster Pussycat Kill Kill” (1965) which although it might not have turned out to be, it is still a film which clearly heavily influenced it’s creation, along with the numerous other films in the exploitation genre, with Meyer’s film (which also featured three tough ladies looking for trouble), clearly being the obvious inspiration and certainly makes it hard not to want to draw comparisons between the two, as Jacobson attempts with this film to make his own mark in the “Neo-Grindhouse” genre, which until now has been the personal playground of Tarantino since he gave the world “Kill Bill” (2003) the film which it could be said started the genre, before being expanding those ideals with his adopted brother Robert Rodriguez with their double feature whammy “Grindhouse” (2007).

It’s pretty clear from the start that this isn’t a film trying to be high art, but instead looking to provide its audience with a fun ride, as it opens with a montage of grindhouse cinema footage making up the opening credits, as it wears its influences proudly on its sleeve, hitting the ground at a breakneck speed that it never lets up for a second, as it quickly churns its self up into a whirlwind of guns, boobs and hyperviolence. Meanwhile characterisation doesn’t really stretch past the cast being turned into caricatures rather than anything resembling realistic characters, but somehow Jacobson has not only found a way of making this work, but he has done to such a degree you never really question it, unless you actually try to think too hard about what your actually watching which no doubt, you won’t be until after the credits have rolled, especially seeing how it moves at such an excitingly brutal pace, leaving you with barely a moment to reflect on what you are actually watching. This is especially helped by how each of these oddball characters are not only unique, but fun to watch with certainly no attempt at keeping things subtle, especially with characters drafted in from the Tarantino School of characterisation, with the supporting cast of characters including the killer Yo Yo welding Kinki (Noji) and the sleazy club owner Gage (Hurst), while the most fun is definitely are our trio of feisty femmes, who are not only a colourful bunch, embodying the femine character ideals of Russ Meyer by not only proving fiercely independent, but also more than capable of holding their own in a fight, as they are more than happy to prove throughout, with Zoe Bell on both acting and stunt co-ordinating duties, here helping to create some truly memorable fight scenes, helping the ladies to not only seem powerful, but also at the same time annihilating the traditional idea of a girl fight, as when these ladies brawl it is nothing short of brutal with the final fight sequence especially between Camero and Hal proving a true highlight, especially a one point also providing a whole meaning to the term “Rug Muncher”. Still the backgrounds of each of these ladies have their own interesting background, revelled slowly through the flashbacks and bringing some depth to thier characters and individual motives.

Jacobson is definatly a director used to working on a budget, especially with his background being based in television and straight to video efforts, yet he appears to have turned this experience to his advantage here, as realising that his budget wouldn’t stretch to multiple sets, instead heavily uses green screen to provide these additional sets, especially seeing how these additional sets are only required for the flashback sequences, shoting the footage, in a similar style to the old FMV games that you used to find on the PC, which despite claiming they were like playing a movie, somhow never quite lived up to this claim, yet when used to provide the flashback sequences, which these green screen scenes makes up, they have a real retro charm to them, while also allowing Jacobson to create a sin city esq world, layered with sleaze and greed, were violence is the city’s heartbeat, while the current day action is kept to it’s sole desert location.

The main problem which “Bitch Slap” has is that it suffers from constantly drawing comparisons to its source material, while perhaps not bringing enough of it’s own original ideas to the proceedings with so many of the ideas it explores all having an air of familiarity to them, especially to fans of the exploitation genre, who are the ones more likely at the same time to get this film, while folks not familiar with the genre it can come across a little over the top. Still I found it fantastic fun and care free film, which isn’t about high brow entertainment, but instead about having fun even more so when your not trying to make too much sense of what your actually watching, as this is another great entry in the Neo-Grindhouse genre, drenched in ultra violence, sex and foul language, but then I doubt it would have worked any other way.