Popcorn

Title: Popcorn

Director: Mark Herrier
Released: 1991
Starring: Jill Schoelen, Tom Villard, Dee Wallace Stone, Tony Roberts, Ray Walston, Derek Rydall, Malcom Danare, Kelly Jo Minter, Ivette Soler, Elliott Hurst, Freddie Marie Simpson,

Plot: A group of film students putting on an all-night horrorthon at an old cinema soon, find themselves being stalked by a crazed serial killer.

 

Review: One of those surprising films which haven’t for one reason or another managed to gain the cult status it deserves, this was a film I was recently introduced to by Jason from “Your Face” who picked at as one of his two films when he came on the podcast. Unlike his other selection “Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama” this was a film which immediately grabbed me unlike the previously mentioned film which honestly might have killed this blog had it not been for this film.

While the film has a simple slasher premise, were the film really stands out is with the films which the students have chosen show, all of which come with their own William Castle inspired gimmick! These films include

Mosquito – a giant bug movie and throwback to b-movies like “Them”, the film uses Castle’s “Emergo”

gimmick from “House On Haunted Hill” replacing the Skelton which whizzed on a line above the audience’s head with a giant mosquito.

The Attack of the Amazing Electrified Man – A bizarre movie featuring scientists devising a serum to survive the electric chair (not sure why but still) only for the test subject to turn into a human dynamo who electrocutes anyone he touches. This film uses the gimmick of “Shock-o-Scope” which is essentially Castle’s “Percepto” he used for “The Tingler” and gives viewers an electric shock to their chair at a key moment.

The Stench – a badly dubbed Japanese movie, which uses the Smell-O-Vision, one of the few gimmicks not used by Castle, but was used in “Scent of Mystery” aswell as with the scratch and sniff cards issued for John Waters “Polyester” were everyone essentially paid Waters to sniff a fart.

Better still we get to see parts of these films throughout as they are used as films within a film, with each of these films being real cornball spoofs of the b-movies they are paying homage to and with the first two certainly give the film frequent bursts of fun.

Meanwhile the main plot of the film suffers not only due to a lack of pacing, but also from trying to combine a number of random plot ideas into the same film as film student Maggie (Schoelen) suffers from a strange reoccurring dream of a strange man trying to kill her, which she’s also attempting to turn them into a screenplay. The group meanwhile find a short experimental film called “Possessor” whose creator killed his family on stage when the film was originally shown.  On top of all this and the b-movies being shown we also have the serial killer who has the ability to turn himself into anyone he wants using latex masks.  This of course is the simplified version, as we also get a number of random scenes such as Maggie’s mother going to the movie theatre and being hit by letters which fly off the marquee which are then replaced by the title “Possessor”. Things only get stranger when she enters and the film playing on the screen starts talking to her, seemingly indicating that something supernatural is happening in the theatre, which of course its not making it you wonder all the more why these scenes much like the character of Dr. Mnesyne who shows up and then randomly disappears without a reason ever being given.

It’s hard to say were the blame for the flaws in the film lye especially with the films original director Alan Ormsby being replaced by Mark Herrier during filming and for whom this remains his sole directing credit. Ormsby meanwhile still directed all three of the films featured within while Herrier handled all the present day footage. It of course only makes me wonder what Ormsby would have done different had he directed the whole film, especially when his b-movie segments are amongst the strongest parts of the film.

Filmed in Kingston, Jamaica not that you would realise it, this does however go some way to explaining the two random reggae interludes, which seem to go down well with the kids in the theatre, even if it does seem out of place, much like when the reggae band showed up in “Never Been Kissed”. Also for such a niche movie going experience they manage to attract a full house of people many in random monster costumes which have nothing to do with any of the films being shown.

As a slasher there are some great inventive kills here, with most tying in some way to the film being shown, such as being impaled on the giant mosquito. The most creative though sees one of the teens being wired into the control board which controls which seats are given electric shocks. So while the shocks are being given out, he is trying to escape before the switch connected to his own chair is triggered. We also get a random scene of a character panicking that he is stuck in a toilet with an activated stench capsule, when there is clearly room to either climb over or crawl under the door!

As I mentioned already the film suffers heavily with its stop start pacing, which really stopped me from enjoying what is when it works a pretty fun film and one I would rate higher if there wasn’t so many scenes which seemed to do nothing but slow the film down. Still as a homage to the gimmicks of William Castle this film really has some nice touches, while the killer’s gimmick of using masks to impersonate members of the group is really great even his motive  ultimately feels slightly convoluted, especially when you see his final game plan. Still if you want a slasher with a side order of schlock then this much overlooked film could be for you.

At The Earth's Core

Title: At The Earth’s Core

Director:  Kevin Connor

Released: 1976
Starring: Peter Cushing, Doug McClure, Caroline Munro, Cy Grant, Godfrey James, Keith Barron

Plot: Victorian scientist Dr. Perry (Cushing) and his assistant David (McClure) are making a test run of their drilling machine “The Iron Mole” when a freak accident throws them off course, were they invariantly discover a prehistoric world of monsters and cavemen ruled by the telepathic Mahars and their mindless Sagoth servants.
 

 

Review: Another of my childhood favourites aswell staring my hero Doug McClure whose fantastical adventures were firm favourites amongst those early cinematic experiences as McClure played rugged heroes all about seducing exotic ladies and generally punching out anything which got in his way, I mean what's not to like about that? While I might not have known his name at the time I did however know that if he was in the film then monsters and dinosaurs would soon follow, an assumption only furthered by the fact that it was only those movies of McClure that were shown over here in the UK.

Based on the novel of the same name by Edgar Rice Burroughs who is no doubt best known for creating both "Tarzan" and "John Carter of Mars" with this first book establishing the fictional hollow Earth of Pellucidar, which would be featured in a further six books with even Tarzan paying a visit to this mysterious land. Needless to say it makes for the perfect vehicle for McClure who at the time was coming in hot on the back of the success of “The Land That Time Forgot” while also finishing off the trilogy that the British production company Amicus had unintentionally created with the prior releases the aforementioned Land that Time Forgot and its sequel “The People That Time Forgot”. This time though he is teamed up to great effect with a blustering Peter Cushing who here is pretty much transferring his Doctor Who persona to a different film, which really only adds to the fun, especially when he’s so frequently hamming things up. Still despite this added bonus or distraction depending on your stand point on his performance, this film really is just business as usual for McClure especially as the film wastes almost zero time before we get out first giant monster encounter, something only added to by the raw awesomeness of McClure who is so cool he’s able to run while still smoking a cigar!

The plot itself is pretty minimalistic and generally serves to fill in the gaps between the monster action and McClure finding someone new to brawl with, which is essentially what he spend most of the film doing, as together with Cushing they form the perfect blend of brains and brawn. This is not to say that David is some square jawed thug, as he frequently proves himself capable thinking through situations especially when it comes to befriending the native human population who handily also speak perfect English despite having no contact with the surface world. Of course such things are minor concern, seeing how the main draw of McClure’s monster movies was the monster themselves with this film featuring the most varied selection from gigantic monsters through to carnivorous plants and even a fire breathing frog here they really pull out the stops with these creations, while clearly not trying to base them on any sort of known dinosaur which was always seemed to the case in the other films.

The villains here are pretty hammy to say the least with the rubbery and far from aerodynamic Mahars, who when not communicating telepathically through a migraine inducing whine, generally just sit around on their cliff top leaving their comb-over loving Sagoth servants to do all the work for them. Unsurprisingly for a bunch of guys in questionable dinosaur costumes when they do take flight it looks as you would expect like a they are flying around with the same sort of wire work you’d expect from a pantomime Peter Pan, while  by the end of the film the production team had clearly had enough of them as they look suspiciously like they have been stuffed with newspaper and just tossed off the cliff top

Shot on soundstages at Pinewood Studios it is perhaps a more limited prehistoric world, but seeing how director Connor was trying to deliver an epic on a budget its not too distracting even if the world is far from as immersive as the other McClure monster movies. However with a large amount of the action taking place in the volcano lair of the Mahar’s it doesn’t ever prove too noticeable until you start looking at the film more closely. Thankfully though Connor keeps things pretty busy on screen for you to pay too much attention to the surroundings for there is usually some monster or heated battle to enjoy and when neither of those are available he generally just parades the scantily clad future Bond girl Munro in front of the camera.

While this might have been a childhood favourite, it still holds up surprisingly well even if perhaps I am viewing it with a healthy dose of nostalgia which certainly helps when some of the creatures are more noticeably rubbery looking than they perhaps did back then. At the same time though this is still a highly entertaining romp aswell as arguably the best of the McClure’s monster movies or making a suitable double bill partner with “Yor: Hunter of the Future”.

Konga

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Konga

Director: John Lemont
Released: 1961
Starring: Michael Gough, Margo Johns, Jess Conrad, Claire Gordon, Austin Trevor, Jack Watson, George Pastell, Vanda Godsell, Stanley Morgan

Plot: After his plane crashes in the African jungles, a year later after being presumed to be dead British botanist Dr. Charles Decker (Gough) suddenly comes back, while also having found a way of growing plants and animals to enormous size. Accompanied him aswell is his pet chimp “Konga” who is soon playing an important part in the doctors plans for revenge.

Review: For most people Michael Gough will always be associated with playing Batman’s butler Alfred and true it’s easy to understand why as he did truly own the iconic role. At the same time there are those who view Gough as an under the radar horror icon with his appearances in “Horrors of the Black Museum” and “Satan’s Slave” and it was during this horror period that he also made this film, which set out to give Britain its own version of “King Kong” which interestingly would also be the same year that we got our own version of “Godzilla” with the enjoyably daft “Gorgo”.

Unsurprisingly producer Herman Cohen while seemingly being inspired by “King Kong” it would be more precisely the idea of making a giant ape movie in colour that inspired him the most when it came to making this film, while developing the film under the working title of “I Was a Teenage Gorilla” a nod to his earlier success “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” regardless of how nonsensical the title would seem against the finished film. So paying RKO Pictures $25,000 for the rights to the name Kong with a focus purely on making an exploitation film, the end results are decidedly strange to say the least.

Right from the start it is clear that Dr. Decker is up to something as he is shown breeding man-eating Venus flytraps in his greenhouse lab as part of his tests of his serum which soon sees him testing it on his pet chimp Konga, turning him from a playful chimp to a man in a questionable Gorilla costume. Yes I know gorillas and chimpanzees are completely different breeds, so either Dr. Decker’s Serum changes an animal’s breed as well as causing monstrous growth or more likely Director Lemont just felt that the audience wouldn’t notice the difference. Still this is not any old gorilla suit, as it also belonged to legendry ape actor George Barrows who amongst his many ape roles also played the memorably unique looking Ro-Man The Monster in the trash classic “Robot Monster”. However Lemont only hired his gorilla suit rather than Barrows himself, only to return the costume in less than perfect condition, much to the distain of Barrows while only raising more questions as to what Lemont had been doing with the suit during the shoot?

Having grown so used to Gough in his Alfred persona, it was quite a thrill seeing him playing such a devious role, more so perhaps because of seeing him as this loveable old man and faithful butler to now see him scheming and sending his killer ape off to kill his enemies and it's a role he plays well, especially the more he gets caught up in his scheme especially as he frequently hams it up clearly knowing the standard of film being made,  hardly masking his evil genius as we are barely ten minutes into the film before he start dropping hints as he potters around his home laboratory while also finding time to letch over one of his pretty students Sandra (Gordon) who soon unwittingly become central to Dr. Deckers plans, especially when he is sending Konga off to kill her boyfriend.

The idea of Dr. Decker using his killer ape for murder through the power of hypnosis might be a slight disappointment for a film essentially sold as a giant ape on the rampage movie, though it does still provide a fair amount of unintentionally amusing moments such as Konga hiding in the bushes and generally looking like he should be wearing a trench coat and trilby hat, especially when he has such a shifty expression on his face. Still giant ape fans should fear not as the finale finally gives us our giant ape, as Konga gets a super-sized dose of serum causing him to grow to a monstrous size before heading off on a mini rampage while Dr. Decker also receives the Fay Wray treatment before they soon encounter possibly the most well prepared group of soldiers to ever be featured in a monster movie and all without the need of a giant map or lengthy discussion between Generals while they push small models around the map. So surprisingly prepared for the threat of a giant ape I half expected someone to pipe up with “This is what we prepared for boys!” especially considering how quickly they stop the giant ape threat and disappointingly before he has had chance to cause much carnage, but then seeng how the film is seemingly set in a quaint little village there is only so much damage he could really cause, while the film ultimately as a result misses a trick by not being set in London, which could have seen Konga climbing Big Ben or even Nelson’s Column swiping at Spitfire’s.

While the film moves at a quick place to set Dr. Decker and his schemes in motion, with everything pretty much in place by the first twenty minutes, it does however drag in other places, as we are forced to endure mind numbing conversations between minor characters such a Sandra’s boyfriend and his parents, which had me eager to see him taken out as quickly as possible, so I didn’t have to ensure anymore of his yammering. Meanwhile for a man so focused on revenge Dr. Decker’s targets are actually pretty minimal and more to do with personal snubs or threats on his research than any real form of planned revenge.

Ultimately the film never seems to know what it want to be as it skips from one B-movie genre to the next as Gough hams it up with his mad scientist antics, before it switches to being a killer ape movie, before finally giving us the long awaited giant ape on the rampage which the poster promises us. Still when you in the mood for a man in a hokey monkey costume this is one of the better ones and certainly more entertaining than my previous attempt at finding one of these film with the ho-hum “Bride of The Gorilla”. Still if you want to see us Brit's rip off someone else's monster movie personally I would stick with "Gorgo" or maybe just watch the originals.

Iron Sky

Title: Iron Sky

Director: Timo Vuorensola

Released: 2012

Staring: Julia Dietze, Götz Otto, Christopher Kirby, Tilo Prückner, Udo Kier, Peta Sergeant, Aglaja Brix, Stephanie Paul

Plot: In the last days of World War II, a secret Nazi space program established a base on the dark side of the moon. Now in 2018 two astronauts one of which being the black male model James Washington (Kirby) unwittingly spark their plans for the return to earth.

Review: Arriving seven years after the last of director Vuorensola’s cult Star Wreck films which also lead him to co founding “Wreck-a-Movie”. A site which was also used for the production of this film, while also helping with finding the funding for the film with 10 percent of the budget coming from the fans of his earlier films, whom in turn also get recognition for their donation in the credits. Still despite being shot on a shoestring budget the film still looks incredible, with the heavy use of CGI largely cutting out the costs of set construction, while bringing back memories of both “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” and “Casshern”.

Right from the start it is clear that the plot is being played very much for laughs, which is always a plus for myself when it comes to any form of naziploitation. For the more bonkers and insane you can make it, the more I’m likely to enjoy it, as no one really needs to sit through a cinematic reinactment of their hideous acts. In fact it would seem that since these Nazi’s have been on the moon they have very much lost any form of contact with earth and hence maintain the same styles of dress which they arrived with, while their equipment is frequently retro in styling or years behind current technical advances, as especially seen by the fact that a mobile phone has more power than their seven banks of computers, making it clear that while times might have moved on back on Earth, it's still very much 1945 here!

Still having realised what they are lacking the new Führer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Kier) is quick to send the highly ambitious commander Adler (Otto) back to earth to obtain new technology, in the hope that they can launch their ultimate battleship “Götterdämmerung”. Accompanying Adler is the Earth specialist Richter (Dietze) whose qualifications are questionable to say the least when it consists mainly of edited prints of Chaplains “The Great Dictator” and the deluded Nazi ideals they carried with them from earth. Unwittingly though their return is spun into the latest campaign of the President of the United States (Paul), who intentionally bares more than a slight resemblance to Sarah Palin and whose frenzied aide (Sergeant) is soon using the arrival of Richter and Adler to launch a new Nazi-style re-election campaign to surprisingly successful effect.

However despite being setup as a comedy, the film doesn’t feel the need to sacrifice the plotting in order to cram in extra laughs and instead Vuorensola has chosen to opt for an almost natural humour throughout, with the film only featuring a handful of intentionally staged funny moments throughout. Meanwhile Kirby is a natural comedic talent, who only becomes funnier the more frenzied Washington becomes, especially when dealing with the fact he has unbeknown to himself been turned into an albino by Nazi head scientist Doktor Richter (Prückner) who for some reason also looks like Albert Einstein, which was almost as random as Captain Gorden in “Godzilla: Final Wars” who bore a striking resemblance to Stalin!

Vuorensola on the whole has assembled a great cast here, with Udo Kier bringing his trademark raspings to the role of the frustrated Führer, constantly being forced to correct his men’s salutes of “Heil Hitler” that his name is not Hitler! Infact the casting of Kier was so central to this film that Vuorensola stated that he wouldn’t make it without Kier. Equally fun to watch is Otto as the fanatical idealist Adler, who when not embodying the Nazi ideals, spends most of his time trying to find ways to eliminate Kortzfleisch on his personal quest to become Führer, though with Paul's almost detail perfect portrayal of a Palin esc. president, it would seem in these modern times, the ruthless quest for power is very much the same no matter which side you stand on.

 

The real selling point for the film is with its climax which sees Vuorensola unleashing Space Zeppelins and B-movie flying saucers on New York, while the earth nations all unleash their own space ships and finally answering the question as to what the Australian space program would have been like. Even though Vuorensola is working with such a minimalist budget he still pulls off some fantastic action sequences and making you question why the likes of “The Asylum” and the other DTV studios have never been able to replicate CGI of this standard? Meanwhile the soundtrack is equally aiming for bigger things much like the rest of film which refuses to be restricted by such things as limited budget, with the soundtrack being a powerful combination of a rousing orchestral score incorporates leitmotifs from the operas of Wagner, while the Slovenian industrial group Laibach also effectively appear throughout the soundtrack. 

Originally one of my top picks for this year “Iron Sky” oozes 50’s B-movie chiq with a dash of naziploitation to flavour, it’s nice to finally find that the film is more than just a fun idea, especially with so many negative reviews surround the release of the film I honestly did enter expecting the worst, only to be pleasantly surprised, while also packing a few surprises along the way. Meanwhile Vuorensola continues to impress as a director and one I’d like to see perhaps working with a larger budget for his future project.

Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel

Title: Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel
Director: Alex Stapleton
Released: 2011
Staring: Roger Corman, Martin Scorsese, Jack Nicholson, Ron Howard, William Shatner, David Carradine, Joe Dante, Pam Grier

Plot: Documentary about the legendary producer / director Roger Corman



Review: Wow I can hardly believe that I have written 200 posts here on the blog, which considering the majority of those have been reviews, it’s a huge amount of movies / books I have reviewed and frequently endured as part of this ongoing quest to plum the depths of DVD hell, but if I had made each of these posts solely focused on films either produced or directed by Roger Corman, it would only cover half of his legacy, for at the time of writing the man has churned out over 400 movies and he is still going strong!

Needless to say Roger Corman is one the most influential men in B-Movie history, not only being responsible for the majority of films which us trash cinema critics obsess over, many who first became obsessed with the field after watching his movies, but he is also responsible for launching the careers of some of the biggest actors and directors in Hollywood, many of which pay tribute here, for it goes without saying that without Corman, we would not have the likes of Martin Scorsese, Jack Nicholson, Ron Howard, William Shatner, David Carradine, Joe Dante and most memorably James Cameron, who got his start with “Piranha 2: The Spawning” to name but a mere few, as Corman frequently has proven throughout his career like the head of Troma Entertainment Lloyd Kaufman and Larry Clarke, to certainly have an eye for talent, even if he wasn’t frequently giving that talent the biggest of budgets to work with.

Still it’s great that finally someone has taken the time to look at the great man himself, aswell as some of the key films of his career, as the documentary makes a brave attempt to give an overview to what has unquestionably been an astonishing career, starting in the 50’s were he started his career working at 20th Century Fox as a story analyst, slowly working his way into writing scripts to fund his own productions he would make for “American Independent Pictures”, starting with his debut “Monster From The Ocean Floor” and launching his now legendary production output. From here the documentary also looks at the key moments of what would be his golden period from the early 60’s and the founding of “New World Pictures” right through to the late 70’s were the craze for blood drenched slashers and slow death of the drive in would lead him to step away from mainstream movie making and move into DTV territory, before making his return to form with the likes of the self explanatory “Dinoshark” and “Sharktopus”, the later's production featured here and showing Corman with the same passion he started with, while also still making questionable shooting choices, as seen by an attack scene being shot in a lake which bares signs warning about alligators living there, which for some reason hadn't been noticed until shooting had commenced.

Many of the directors / actors who appear here all seem to have happy rose tinted memories of making films for Corman, with most openly stating that their careers would not be were they were if it wasn’t for Corman giving them a start in the industry, with Jack Nicholson openly being reduced to tears at one point towards the end of his interview. Meanwhile Corman doesn’t seem to begrudge any of their success, even though he remained a B-movie producer, while his former protégé’s went onto major success. I suppose in this respect it would have been interesting to see James Cameron’s take on Corman, especially with Corman giving him his break on “Piranha 2: The Spawning” only to have directing duties taken over by Ovidio G. Assonitis after the first week of shooting, yet Cameron’s still received the directors credit for the film, though Cameron has frequently dismissed it as his directorial debut and it’s such controversy like this, which perhaps would have helped break up the documentary slightly from the constant steam of positivity which at times it seems to be, much like the man in question himself who always seems to be both upbeat and positive and whose enthusiasm for the films he seems to be unbounded, if only to continue to prove to the Hollywood studio system, that you don’t need to spend millions of dollars to make a movie.

Director Stapleton doesn’t make any great attempts to get into the mind of Corman, as he instead chooses to focus on his work, rather than his personal life which is really only covered in the parts in which Corman himself chooses to personally provide these insights, while the construction of the film is only made more frustrating through the lack of voice over outside of the semi narration that Corman provides, relying more on how the interviews are edited together to tell the story of Corman and his films, yet for Corman fans or those like myself who watches these kinds of documentaries with notepad in hand, eagerly expecting to come away with the same to watch list that “Not Quite Hollywood” provided, it is slightly frustrating that many of the films are reduced down to brief clips with only a handful given any kind of insight into their construction, making it feel like that there is another documentary waiting to be made focusing purely on the films themselves and with 400 titles to choose from, there is certainly the source material there in which to make this kind of documentary.

Still the handful of films which do get a closer look, provide some fascinating insights with particular attention given to “The Intruder”, which Corman openly admits to being the favorite of his films, even though it was branded a flop, no doubt thanks to drive in audiences not expecting to get a film about racial integration in the south and the decision to highlight it, shows that Corman was not always about schlock and that he was capable to producing a truly thought provoking movie aswell.

Although it might be a little disappointing for those of us, looking for a more complete overview of his work, it still provides a fun insight into the working process and history of Corman, from those who lived it, while also providing a fitting tribute to the man, but perhaps not the pictures which made him such a legend.

Rubber

Title: Rubber
Director: Quentin Dupieux
Released: 2010
Staring: Stephen Spinella, Roxanne Mesquida, Jack Plotnick, Haley Ramm, Wings Hauser, Ethan Cohn, Charley Koontz, Tara O’Brien

Plot: Robert is a tyre whom having gained life rolls through the local desert town, while also at the same time possessing the power to make things randomly explode using the power of mindbullets (“That’s telekenisis Kyle!”….sorry couldn’t resist it).




Review: Right from the start Director Dupieux wastes little time in letting the audience know what sort of film they are going to be in for, as Lieutenant Chad (Spinella) not so much breaks the fourth wall, but kicks it down and grabs hold of the audience directly, to delivers a monologue on how certain aspects of films are just accepted without question, using the colour of ET’s skin and more bizarrely the bathroom habits of the cast of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974) as examples of this theroy and this of course is after he has climbed out of a trunk of a police car, which inturn has just driven through a seemingly random maze of wooden chairs. This monologue it would seem is Dupieux’s way of asking the audience to not question everything they are going to see, over the films relatively brief run time and instead to just roll with it, which honestly might be the best way to watch this film, especially when you consider just how ludicrous the plot is, let alone everything else which happens in the film.

“Rubber” in many ways is part music video and part experimental film, all contained in the shell of a B-movie plot. Still this hasn’t stopped it from becoming a highly talked about movie, even if most of the discussion has been in regard to the fact it’s a movie about a killer tyre who can make things explode on will, rather than anything regarding the rest of the plot and for the majority of folks I think they will find the trailer to be more than enough, with any attempts to watch the film no doubt proving a frustrating experience at best. Still for fans of the work of more surreal directors such as Michel Gondry and Greg Araki they still might find much to enjoy here, with this film easily in the same category of their most surreal works like “Science of Sleep” (2006) and “Nowhere” (1997), while at the same time recalling memories of Daft Punk’s “Electroma” (2007). This film like that providing an almost glorified music video for Mr. Oizo and Gaspard Augé (one half of French electro duo Justice), who here supply the majority of the soundtrack. Soundtrack wise towards the end it does become kind of samey but at the same time perfectly frames certain sequences in the film, as does the seemingly random inclusion of Blue Magic’s “Just don’t want to be lonely” which comes completely out of nowhere, but helps to break up the overly similar electro, which at time descents a little too far into shoe gaze territory.

While the range of Dupieux’s creation might seem limited, he still has managed to bring a lot of character to a seemingly personality devoid object, in much the same way that John Carpenter did with his beach ball alien in “Dark Star” (1974). In Dupieux’s hands the humble tyre, is capable of not only stalking Sheila (Mesquida) but also processing a childlike curiosity to his surroundings, as he discovers his new found abilities and this is all without the aid of any additional emotions as Dupieux thankfully avoids slapping Robert with a misguided voiceover.

While the film largely focuses on Robert as he goes about terrorising the residents of the desert motel, he has for some unexplained reason chosen to hang around, his every move is eagerly watched by a group of binocular welding onlookers whose observations are frequently in tune with the thoughts of the audience, before randomly suffering a severe bout of food poisoning for no real reason, but no doubt by that point you will have stopped questioning things happening in this film. Still this group frequently refer to what they are watching as being “The film” with one member even scolding another for daring to film what they are watching on his camcorder. Meanwhile Lieutenant Chad keeps a surreal edge on things, by frequently proclaiming to everyone that they are all part of a movie, even inviting a fellow police officer to shoot him at one point, which even more bizarrely proves completely un-fatal, not that Dupieux answers any of these questions, instead leaving it up to the audience to make some kind of sense of what they are watching, though it would seem even Dupieux didn’t know what he had created, especially when the ending comes so suddenly and sloppily, despite Dupieux still setting up for a sequel which I think is an idea best left unexplored.

Essentially this film would have worked best as a short and stretched out to feature length, is no doubt going to seriously test the patience of the more casual or less open minded movie goer and while there are some great moments in the film, from the tyre in the shower sequence and the black humour of the boy using road kill as extra topping on his fathers pizza, there is a lot to like about this film, as truly random and beautifully bizarre as it is, while certainly marking Dupieux out as a film maker to watch and while it might be heavily flawed in places and suffer from some serious repetition it’s still strangely watchable like only the best surreal classics of which it will no doubt be ranked alongside.

Return To Savage Beach

Title: Return to Savage Beach
Director: Andy Sidaris
Released: 1998
Staring: Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregón, Julie K. Smith, Shae Marks, Marcus Bagwell, Cristian Letelier, Carrie Westcott, Paul Logan, Gerald Okamura, Kevin Eastman, Ava Cadell

Rating: 3 / 5

Plot: When the ladies of L.E.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) recover a stolen computer disk containing the location of a hidden treasure trove, it’s a race against time to find it before the evil Rodrigo Martinez (Obregón) and his ninja henchmen do.


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Review: Honestly this is the kind of movie I tend to avoid reviewing, largly because of being the kind of person who gets embarrassed by my neighbours kid, loudly announcing that she wears a bra, so who really knows how writing about a film which is essentially sleazy trash will go, but then I guess the enjoyment of this film is pretty the same as that which comes with equally guilty pleasures such as “Baywatch” and the majority of Russ Meyer's movies, who coincidently is the one director who Sidaris certainly has the most in common with, for as Meyer's had a very obvious obsession with large breasted ladies, Sidaris has with “Playmate centrefolds” and “Penthouse Pets”, who he casted in his “Triple B” movies AKA “Bullets, Bombs and Babes”, a series of B-movies he made with his wife Arlene serving as his production partner and of which this would be the last of the series, while Sidaris was also renown for pioneering what he called “The Honey Shot”, were the camera cuts to close up shots of cheerleaders and pretty girls in the crowd, during his work as a director of sports coverage.

So to to this film, which as to be expected for a film featuring a bunch of centrefold models and other random B-movie actors, the plotting really is nothing to really write home about, especially as it’s pretty much none existent with the few scraps of actual plotting, are padded out with a mixture of overblown action sequences, gratuitous nudity and the occasional spattering of softcore sex scenes, which honestly will either spell out fun times, or will just confirm with those few plot elements, that this isn’t the movie for you. Now if you liked what you just read then there really is some cheesy fun to be had with this movie, which although it won’t be winning any awards it’s still a fun ride with a definite early 90’s / late 80’s vibe to it, which made it all the more surprising to find out how recent it actually was released.

Despite the limited budget, the cast all appear to be having fun playing secret agent, as the girls run around in a variety of skimpy outfits and on occasion nothing at all, while the two sole male members of the team Doc (Logan) and J. (Letelier) essentially do the male equivalent, as they seem to frequently misplace their shirts or go with the open shirt look, proving I guess in a way that Sidaris is an equal opportunities kind of director, with Letelier even sporting a comical looking medallion, which is never a good look anyway. Logan who can be found more recently featuring in various films being churned out by “The Asylum” such as “Mega Pirahna” (2010) and here once again is on top B-movie action hero form, really pulling off the fight sequences convincingly, while possibly being the best actor of the bunch as he puts on his typical gruff exterior, while generally kicking a fair amount of ass, while the ladies generally give the kind of performance that would not look out of place on an episode of Baywatch, which this whole film is essentially an extended episode of, just with more nudity and explosions. Still to many of the cast together in the same scene and their mediocre acting skills become painful obvious, as the laughable attempt at a tense bomb deactivation truly highlights

Backing up this elite crime fighting force is a colourful bunch of supporting characters including Sexologist and informant Ava (Cadell), who uses her innuendo laden horoscopes to guide the agents in the field, making her a kind of sexed up version of the D.J in “The Warriors (1979), while also being assisted by Harry the cat who is bizarrely enough played by Kevin Eastman, who is probably better known for being one half the creative team, behind the cash cow which was “Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles”, though really no idea how he ended up in this movie. To add further to this random cast of characters we also have the former wrestling crime boss Warrior, played here by ex WCW wrestler Marcus “Buff” Bagwell, aswell as Fu (Okamura) who looks like a Martial arts mentor and serves only to show off some kung fu skills and provide the setup for Willow’s (Strain) trademark “Book em Fu!” quote.

Obregón who is on bad guy duties here, as what only be assumed is supposed to be a columbian drug lord, is in many ways Sidaris’s version of Rami’s Bruce Campbell, especially seeing how he appears in nearly all of Sidaris’s films and here, spends the movie wearing a phantom of the opera style mask, while also having an army of Ninja’s (well three atleast) for no discernable reason it would seem other than he can, yet it is also never explained why they also have more of a tendency to use guns, than anything really resembling ninjitsu skill, with the exception of one fight in which they attempt to show off some kung fu skills, which predictably enough ends badly, much like any bad guy who is stupid enough to stand next to anything remotely explosive, as they are ultimately guaranteed to die via explosion, or rather their badly stuffed dummy version is anyway. Still when it came to the big final showdown, I was hardly expecting the Scooby doo ending which essentially get here, which confused me enough, until the end credits began to roll, to actually realise that I never got the big showdown, but instead the got not only a Scooby doo ending, but also the super happy ending aswell, which certainly if anything makes this film quite original for actually trying to pull something so ballsy off.

The action scenes are all pretty entertaining to watch and rise above the B-movie budget that Sedaris is working with, as he also manages to craft a few great original moments, including a couple involving the creative use of an exploding RC car, which although telegraphed from a mile off, still prove entertaining to watch, with Sedaris milking his explosions with the heavy use of slo-mo, which thankfully he avoids putting into any of the fight scenes, avoiding one of the common pitfalls numerous Action B-movies tend to fall into, believing that it adds to the action, when essentially it usually only takes away from it.

It’s hard to really recommend it, other than perhaps a cheap thrill as the gratuitous nudity and soft core sex scenes, limit it’s audience to those seeking the aforementioned cheap thrills and those of you who hunt out films of these standard purely for their humorous value, so if any of what I’ve mention throughout this review holds any kind of appeal give it a burn, otherwise you might want to just this film in a more literal way.

Voyage To The Planet of Prehistoric Women

Title: Voyage To The Planet of Prehistoric Women
Director: Peter Bogdanovich
Released: 1968
Staring: Mamie Van Doren, Mary Marr, Paige Lee, Gennadi Vernov, Georgi Tajkh, Vladimir Yemelyanov

Rating: 2 / 5

Plot: Astronauts landing on Venus encounter dangerous exotic creatures and almost meet some sexy Venusian women who like to sunbathe in hip-hugging skin-tight pants and seashell bras.



Review: Sitting down to watch this film I would be lying if the synopsis (shown above) which showed on the TV guide, didn’t hold some appeal and honestly I wasn’t expecting anything much from this film, above it perhaps being a fun camp B-movie, only to find myself sadly disappointed in pretty much the same way I was after watching “Bride of the Gorilla” (1951). Okay that might be a little harsh, especially as it certainly wasn’t as bad as that film and this disappointment, seemed to stem mainly for how nothing really happens, with the film quickly boiling down a handful of interesting sequences, which are then sloppily edited together, though this could also largely stem from the fact that the film originally started out as the Russian sci-fi romp “Planeta Bur” (1962), only to be dubbed and edited for the American market, under the title “Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet” with additional footage of Basil Rathbone and Faith Domergue being inserted, in a similar way that footage of Raymond Blurr as an American reporter was inserted into the American release of “Godzilla” (1956) with Blurr bizarrely enough reprising this role (with added Psychic powers) in the hideous American cut of “The Return of Godzilla” (1984) released as “Godzilla 1985” (1985). The footage from “Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet” has now been edited into this film, removing the footage of Rathbone and Domergue and replacing it with footage of the scantily clad inhabitants of Venus, while Director Bogdanovich provides a running narration, portraying one of the cosmonauts, recollecting the whole adventure, while also throwing in footage from fellow space oddity “Nebo Zovyot” (1960) which also suffered some creative editing, as it was turned into “Battle Beyond The Sun” (1960) by then aspiring young director Francis Ford Coppola, working under the pseudonym “Thomas Colchart”. No doubt the borrowing of footage from this film, is yet another attempt to add some meat to the picture and maybe convince the audience that they are not just paying to see the same film, just now with added hot chicks.

The plot of this film it can safely be said is almost as skimpy as the actresses are dressed, with the Cosmonauts on a rescue mission to locate two of their missing comrades who have crashed onto the planet, encountering when they get there, a wide variety of strange alien life, however due to the film being a mismash of mixed footage they never actually meet the titular Prehistoric women (bummer), though seeing how they butcher anything that they come into contact with, it was probably for the best, seeing how intergalactic genocide, hardly spells out good times.

Still this film does feature some classic sci-fi design work, with the Cosmonaut suits having that great goldfish bowl design while their version of “Robbie the Robot” known simply as John, not only looking a lot more impressive than Robbie, but also proving handier, than just being able to source booze on obscure planets and providing general comic relief. The other noteworthy point about this team is their space car, which I’m yet to figure out how they managed the really convincing hover effects; no honestly it really has me stumped.

The Prehistoric women, who for some reason are never given an actual name don’t really contribute a great deal to the film, as they lounge around on the rocky beach, communicating telepathically with other, while occasionally pretending to be mermaids when Bogdanovich, feels the audience might be getting tired of watching them do the same thing, while their telepathic nature which seems to stretch soles to just communicating with each other, bizarrely enough actually works to the films advantage,even more so when you can see how these girls seems to find just doing the limited amount of tasks they are given challenging enough, without the added hassle of them trying to convincing read their lines. Still their main role it would seem is to react horrified to the actions of Cosmonauts who, unwittingly also manage to kill the pterodactyl type creature which they had been worshiping as a god, though again thanks to the footage mash up, they never actually do anything about this other than grumble about their god being killed, still by the end of the film you get the impression that these girls will pretty much worship anything, they find the slightest bit strange or unusual, making their religious views fluid to say the least.

The soundtrack is quite oddly haunting in this film, especially when combined with the fog covered landscapes, this mixture of choral and howling sounds also being highly reminiscent of the opening theme to “The Devil’s Rain” (1975), which made it only the more surprising to find it used in this film, as it almost feels like most of the footage shown here, that it has been lifted like from another film, yet for some reason it still works, providing the film with a mysterious atmosphere to the film, however at times it does feel kind of intrusive and left me wanting to hear something a little more orchestral, especially during the slight spattering of dramatic moments, which the film has.

The Cosmonaut adventures are fun times even if the added footage just prove to largely distracting throughout, but when these guys are left to get one with encountering strange creatures and exploring the planet, it is largely fun stuff even if their intergalactic diplomacy leave a lot to desired, seeing how they kill anything that they encounter, rather than trying to find out anything about this planet. Still cut away all the extra footage or better yet just watch “Planeta Bur” and it’s like a Saturday morning serial, so I guess it’s the combination of footage from so many places, which left me feeling so disconnected with this film, aswell as the fact it truly feels that it would be more at home, in a double feature as the warm up film ideally followed by one of Doug Mclure’s better films like “Warlords of Atlantis” (1978) or “At the Earths Core (1976), which I guess is probably the best way of watching it, as to watch it one its own, will certainly leave you feeling like something’s missing.

The Giant Claw

Title: The Giant Claw
Director: Fred F. Sears
Released: 1957
Staring: Jeff Morrow, Mara Corday, Morris Ankrum, Louis Merrill, Edgar Barrier, Robert Shayne

Rating: 3.5 / 5

Plot: While testing new radar systems, test pilot Mitch (Morrow) spots an UFO, which turns out to be a gigantic bird, intent on bringing doom to the inhabitants of Earth.




Review: It’s funny the things which inspire me to often hunt down a title, often having nothing to do with the plot and more often than not a desire to watch the film based on a single shot, or perhaps the prospect of seeing a certain scene, which is especially true for this film, a clip of which I remembered being featured in the title sequence, for “Monsterpiece Theatre”, which shows the clip of a man parachuting, with a look of terror on his face as we watch him falling in front of the monstrous face of the titular creature, which is without a doubt one of the most comedic looking monster creations I have seen, since I discovered that “The Thing” in “Godzilla Vs. The Thing” (better known as “Godzilla Vs. Mothra” outside of the states) was in fact a giant moth! This also go a long way to explaining why, you don’t actually see the whole creature on any of the posters, though leaving why the film is called “The Giant Claw” when the creature in question clearly has two claws! It is also worth noting that throughout the production none of the cast actually had any idea what the creature was going to look like, with Animatronics maestro Ray Harryhausen originally being considered to create the creature, an idea which would be scrapped due to budgetary restraints, leaving the creature effects to be handled by a small Mexican special effects company, which does prove slightly detrimental to the film, seeing how the effects are not just laughable now, but were considered laughable back when the film was first released, with audiences supposedly bursting in laughter whenever the creature appeared on screen.
Outside of the creature the majority of the effects are a combination of well edited scenes of stock footage, combined with some seriously ropey miniature work, which is amusing to watch as planes bounce around on strings and model trains get thrown through the air. Still Sears being keen to get the most out of his budget, even recycles footage from his earlier film “Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers” (1956), providing some of the better effects here.

Plot wise it’s a standard B-movie affair and rattles along at a quick pace, which goes a long way to explaining why it’s such a fun film to watch, despite suffering from numerous flaws, while at the same time it actually bothers to break several genre conventions seeing how Corday plays Sally a strong female character, rather than the usual damsel in distress which is almost expected in the genre, but here she is seen not only as a romance interest but also as a major part of the team, proving herself not only feisty but also quite handy with a rifle, putting her a whole head and shoulders ahead of the majority of her female b-movie predecessors, still the majority of the cast seem to believe that they are in a film which is more than B-movie fodder, judging by how the actors handle the dialogue combined with their general performances throughout, but then I guess no one really bothered to tell them that they are staring in a movie were the world is under attack from a giant rubber chicken. Still we do get the classic lines “I’ll never call my mother in law and old crow again” aswell as my personal favourite

“Holy Toledo! I've seen some mighty big chicken hawks back on the farm, but man, this baby takes the cake!”

Both lines spoken completely straight faced only further adding to the humour value and questioning if this was ever intended on being a serious movie?

Plot wise the one point which stuck with me which watching this film, is why does everyone keep referring to the creature as being “A giant battleship”? Seriously this one description is shared by nearly every character that comes into contact with the creature, but why call it a battleship? Why not at least describe it as something that flies at the least. I also have to wonder for a creature which is supposedly from space, how it actually travels through space, let alone generates its own force field which is pretty much accepted as fact, almost as if the idea of a giant chicken flying through space makes perfect sense.

I can’t help but feel had the creature effects been better, that this film might be remembered in more positive light, rather than for its unintentional humour value, caused by a seriously random looking creature, caused by the budget restraints the film was put under and certainly which resonates even now, when you consider the amount of half decent films, which are ruined by the inclusion of cheap bargain basement CGI. Still the film remains as it does a fun way to burn away a Sunday afternoon, especially when you can’t be bothered with the complexities of something heavier which after all is what this genre does best.

Flesh Gordon

Title: Flesh Gordon
Director: Michael Benveniste & Howard Ziehm

Released: 1974

Staring: Jason Williams, Suzanne Fields, Joseph Hudgins, William Dennis Hunt,

Rating: 5 / 5

Plot: Emperor Wang (Hunt), the leader of the planet Porno has sent his mighty "Sex Ray" towards Earth, turning everyone into sex-mad fiends. Now only one man can save the Earth, football player Flesh Gordon (Williams). Along with his girlfriend Dale Ardent (Fields) and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff (Hudgins), they set off towards the source of the Sex Ray, unaware of the perils that face them!

Review: I don’t what it is, but there are some movies, which just put you in a good mood, while you’re watching them, making them that cinematic equivalent of a grilled cheese sandwich or that great song “Shiny Happy People” by REM (especially with Beavis and Butthead commentary) and this film is truly one of those kinds of movie, as when I sat down to watch it, I could honestly say that I wasn’t in the best of moods, seeing how I was having one of those real grey kind of days, but all that changed while watching this, as something within this movie, just turned that frown upside down.
“Flesh Gordon” much like “Fritz the cat” (1972) was when I was growing up one of those movies that some of the kids, with slightly more liberal parents than my own, would often brag about seeing, mainly because of it’s rude content, it was a film that for one reason or another I only recently got around to watching for the first time and now I only wished I’d hunted it out sooner, as it truly is a film which is like a head on collision between 1950’s B-movies, Monty Python style animation and the sexploitation genre, as cheesy special effects are combined with gratuitous nudity, with a healthy splattering of humour throughout to hold the whole thing together and for some strange reason it works.

If you haven’t guessed already this film is basically a sexed up version of the classic Serial “Flash Gordon” which first appeared back in the 1930’s and whose own camp movie adaptation wouldn’t appear till 1980, a whole six years after the appearance of this raunchy bastard child of a movie, which still managed to cram in a whole heap of nods to the original series, with a similarly rousing orchestra score, aswell including those memorable cliff-hanger endings which provides one of the more humorous moments of the film, as the film cuts suddenly to an intermission, before restarting with “Part 2”, while also taking time for a sly dig at Flash’s costume and it’s these homage’s to the source material which help the film, to be more than a sexed up cash in, which ironically is how the film started, with the original plan of making an X rated version of “Flash Gordon” getting lost during production, to the point were it became this version of the film, though you can still see many moments, which were no doubt part of this original plan for the film, seeing how the audience is shown the passengers on a plane, having a spontaneous orgy after being hit with a blast from the sex ray pretty much within the opening ten minuites. Nudity (both male and female) is shown throughout with such abandon, that I almost thought that I had stumbled across one of the “Gore-Gore Girl” porn spoofs, in the same vain of “Jurassic Hump” and “These Something a butt Mary”. These continous moments of nudity also forms the basis of a running joke, for the character of Dale Ardent who like her namesake from the original series “Dale Arden” spends most of the film getting easily captured, but also seems to have a habit of frequently losing her clothes, meaning that she spends most of the film running around topless….not that it is an overly bad thing really.
Williams plays Flesh well as he portrays him with all the charm of the original flash and had all the nudity and sex jokes been edited out of this film, it could be shown as a similar style film to those original serials (while also being about 15 minutes long) his performance while wholesome, is never to the point were he grates, even with his apparent innocent image he portrays, when he's not off being seduced by strange space women, despite claiming to be madly in love with Dale, but such questions are really quite minor. However amongst the cast the performance which really stands out, is that of Hunt as Emperor Wang who is played almost like a sex crazed version of Fu Manchu, with him holding constant orgies in front of his throne, as well as celebrating the apparent demise of Flesh, with a spontaneous naked conga line (not something you see everyday), with Hunt, becoming all the more camp as the film goes on, to the point were I was almost drawing comparisons to Cesar Romero’s Joker in “Batman” (1966) as he frequently insults his overly stupid henchmen, by referring to them as dildo’s. It’s his performance that really helps put Emperor Wang into my top 10 cinema villains, even as random as he is.

For a film that is basically one joke, it never seems to get stretched to thin as you grow strangely accustomed to this bizarre and sexed up world, to the point, were you don’t even question the phallus shaped spaceship that Flesh travels around in, or the face that you get to see a one eyed monsters called “Penisaurus”, even if some of the jokes seem kind of obvious such as the planet being called porno, or the idea of “Emperor Wang” it all seems to fit quite naturally together, as it becomes an extremely random b-movie, something that is helped especially with the effects, which for those of you, who are fans of those classic movies from the 1950’s especially those directed by the likes of “Ed Wood” you will certainly get a kick out of the effects on show here, with many being similar to those used in the original serials, as spaceships are moved on strings, along with extensive use of miniatures as well as Stop motion animation, which in itself is truly a forgotten art and it was nice to see the majority of the film’s strange creatures being animated this way, rather than using a guy in a monster costume. While watching these effects, I couldn’t help but wonder how much of this was homage, rather than being down to lack of funds? More so especially during several of the sword fights were some of the cast never seemed to be putting any effort in. Thankfully it is assumed by the viewer that this is part of the joke and such things are easily over looked, even as you watch Professor Jerkoff and Flesh falling into a hole, which looks strangely like someone basically dropping two action figures.
What is especially worth noting about this film, is the early special effects work on show from the likes of Rick Baker and Jim Danforth (whose name is spelt backwards in the credits), while Craig T. Nelson also provides the voice of the monster seen at the end of the film, in an early film credit long before he became the voice of “Mr Incredible” in Pixar’s own superhero spoof “The Incredibles”, proof once again that genre cinema is often the launch pad to bigger things.

“Flesh Gordon” to summarise is a great fusing of two low budget genres, which creates a great fun film, which despite being extremely random, still provides a fun viewing experience, that is the cinematic equivalent of Prozac, while at the least a true forgotten gem of trash cinema.

Ghost Busters (1954)

Ok so while prowling the Internet, searching for more random cinematic delights and Horror shows, to write about here, when I stumbled across this trailer, which is a reimaginging of what Ghostbusters would have been like had, it been shot in the 50's instead of the 80's.
Honestly though I thought that this was a real trailer, until it was pointed out, by one of my less gulible friends, that it infact a really great fake, created using random parts from 19 different films, though know idea which film the flying Michelin man is taken from?

Bride of the Gorilla

Title: Bride of the Gorilla
Director: Curt Siodmak

Released: 1951

Staring: Raymond Burr, Lon Chaney Jr., Barbara Payton, Paul Cavanagh, Tom Conway

Rating: 2 / 5

Plot: After killing his elderly employer, plantation manager Barney Chavez (Burr) steals his former employer’s wife Dina (Payton). However the murder was witness by the elderly housekeeper, who curses Barney turning him into a Gorilla as soon as night falls.

Review: I should really start by saying how disappointed I was with this latest jaunt into obsure film randomness, especially as I thought this film would provide me with some camp old school hijinks, especially with the prospect of seeing a man in a ropey looking gorilla suit on the rampage, which really is pretty much the exact opposite of what I found here, which might have usually been followed by feeling of pleasant surprise…... But alas it was not to be.

Released back in 1951, it’s original working title was “The Face in the Water” which would have been more of a suitable title and perhaps lead to slightly less disappointment for myself, but being made in the 1950’s and how producers back then loved to hype their movies, it went for the slightly more dramatic title. Intrestingly though Siodmak was also be responsible for writing the screenplay for the classic Universal Monster “The Wolfman” (1941), which has recently been remade with Benicio Del Toro getting the furry treatment.

“Bride of the Gorilla” is certainly at the least a throwback to more innocent film making times, especially when you consider that the jungle shots are nothing more than a plant heavy soundstage and a whole heap of B-roll animal footage, though the budget does stretch to one snake which supposedly is to blame for the death of the Klass Van Gelder (Paul Cavanagh), even though the snake basically just stares at him, before slithering away, so unless there is a species of snake which can do this that I don’t know about, it’s a pretty ropey cause of death for the doctor (Conway) to claim, as I’m sure that punch shaped bruise is nothing to do with his death and certainly brings into question what sort of medical training he has had if any! I know we are in the jungles of South America but is he really the best they could find? This also makes it all the more of a wonder how Klass managed to stay so healthy with him as his personal doctor. Still thanks to questionable post mortem Barney is free to marry Dina, who also doesn’t seem overly bothered by the recent death of her elderly husband, even if she was cheating on him with Barney, she never really seems to question what happened to him, making her either a really dumb blonde or just one with questionable morals.

So with Barney now cursed by the one person, who knows what has happened, the elderly housekeeper, whose strange loyalty to Klass is never really explained and it’s from here that the film starts to rapidly go downhill as it seems that the curse not only turns Barney into a Gorilla by night, but also apparently turns him into a moody and angst ridden arsehole, obsessed with the jungle and escaping to it whenever he is given an opportunity. Rather than adding to any tension in the film, it sadly has the opposite effect here, dragging the film down and making the character of Barney all the more unlikable, which when you consider that none of the characters are particularly likable, certainly makes it all the harder to sit through the film, which even with it’s brief running time, it still feels strangely bloated and lacking in the quick pace that many of it’s fellow B-movies process, which could also be down to the constant feeling of Déjà vu, as we are forced to sit through scenes which seem all to familiar to ones which we have already seen and as the prospect of seeing that ropey Gorilla suits grows all the more distant, it is hard not to despair slightly, after all that was kind of the main draw, instead we only get a few scattered glimpses of furry arms and one full length shot of the horrible gorilla suit, which sadly is the only time we get to see it in it’s entirety, even though you will be assuming that Siodmak is showing us only these brief glimpses, before the dramatic final reveal which never happens. Due to this it feels almost as if Siodmak was going for more of a Psychological thriller than a monster movie, despite having all the pieces to make a great monster film, with superstitious locals all claiming that Barney’s gorilla form is some supernatural creature, but still Siodmak ignores all of this and continues with his attempts to make it a thriller, which doesn’t work out and only makes for a tedious viewing experience.

While it’s true Siodmak will be best remembered for “The Wolf Man”, “Bride of the Gorilla” remains a mark on his career in much the same way that “Piranha 2: The Spawning” is on James Cameron’s, as it fails to be fun even at the most campy base levels and certainly not worth seeking out, despite being ready available to watch online, with the film being in the public domain, but unless your really struggling for something to watch, you’d be best looking to get your B-Movie thrills elsewhere.