Texas Chainsaw 3D

Title: Texas Chainsaw 3D

Director: John Luessenhop

Released: 2013

Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Thome Barry, Paul Rae, Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen

Plot: Picking up the shortly after the events of the original film as a group of vigilantes burn down the Sawyer family home and seemingly killing every member of the family. Decades later Heather (Daddario) finds out she has inherited a mansion from her grandmother, only to find out that it holds more than its share of secrets.

Review: A film I’d originally dismissed as another attempt to cash in on the legacy of Tobe Hooper’s breakout film and former Video Nasty which wouldn’t get a UK release until 1999. Despite this the studios have frequently been keen to milk the franchise and turn its chainsaw welding maniac into another iconic slasher figure. Due to this I had little intention of watching this film, especially after the abysmal “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining” which kill dead any potential momentum the original and surprisingly decent remake had. It was infact only after hearing Emily and Christine recommend the film on their podcast “The Feminine Critique” that I thought it was time that I finally give it a watch.

In a unique twist this film doesn’t attempt to remake the original film, but instead takes the unique move of following on directly after the Tobe Hooper original ignoring all the films which followed which if you haven't seen already director John Luessenhop helpfully spoils by giving you a highlight reel of all the best parts. True this does help bring the viewer up to speed to were he wants to start his film, but I can’t help but feel this is kind of a downer for anyone who chooses to start with this film or enters it expecting a delayed follow up to the 2003 remake. Suprisingly the film was originally pitched as a new trilogy with the films being released out of order with the first film being set in a hospital, the second film would act as a prequel and the third completing the storyline. The producers however feeling that audiences might not get the ambitious idea instead scrapped the plans in favour of the film we have now while for no discernible reason also releasing it in 3D.

Seemingly a fan of the series Luessenhop opens with a siege on the home of the family of cannibals now known as the Sawyers in a scene which not only attempts to rip off the opening siege of “The Devils Rejects” but also features some of the worse CGI fire effects ever. Still for the fans we get cameos from Marilyn Burns, the original Leatherface Gunner Hansen and Bill Moseley who played Chop Top in “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”. Having killed off the family and burned the house to the ground we now move forward to present day and the introduction of Heather and her friends as they road trip out to the mansion she’s now inherited from the grandmother she never knew she had.

Okay before I go any further lets just say that there will be a few spoilers ahead, so if any of what I have covered so far sounds interesting then give it a watch and if it didn’t well the original is always going to be there.

Right from the start its clear that Heather is far from the usual scream queen as we are shown her working in a butchers shop, carving up with almost glee meat using a bandsaw while her home she uses as a studio for her bone art. Now I’m not going to say that attractive girls can’t be Butchers or have an interest in the grotesque arts, but this is the movie world and hence nothing can usually exist without hinting at something else and the film really put as spin on the mythos as Heather slowly discovers her links to the Sawyers.

The main plot worryingly starts off perhaps alittle too similar to the original film as Heather and her friends pick up a hitchiker, or should I say they almost hit him with the fan before deciding to pick him up, something which he’s surprisingly not overly upset over since he can blag jerky off them. I was half expecting this hitchiker to have some link to the family which he doesn’t though he does attempt to steal pretty much anything that’s not nailed down when Heather her friends deem him trust worthy enough to leave at the mansion. A strange move seeing how they’ve only known him for about five mins but atleast he ends up falling foul of Leatherface so I guess theres some sort of karma there.

While the hitchiker might be a thieving SOB, her friends are equally none that brilliant as we have her douche bag boyfriend Ryan (Songz) who is off from his first introduction so it comes as little suprise to discover he’s cheating on her with her best friend Nikki (Raymonde). The sole redeaming member of the group is Kenny (Malicki-Sanchez) but he’s frustrating never given much to do making his early departure all the more sad especially when there is much more deserving victims to be had.

While this might all sound like another run of the mill slasher with the good looking teens being chased by the hideous killer, but surprisingly Luessenhop is actually trying to do something different with the mythos this time round by turning an ageing Leatherface into the blunt instrument of justice. For the first half of the film its business as usual for him but by the second half of the film were we find out about the corrupt cops in town and Heathers relationship to Leatherface has been reveals via some rather ropey quick cuts as she looks over a police report it could be seen that Leatherface wasn’t actively hunting the teen but rather defending in his own warped way his home.

Leatherface played this time by Dan Yeager really lacks the required presence that Gunnar Hansen brought to the role or just the hulking size of the 2003 version. Despite being 6’6 here he seem a lot shorter thanks to how he’s shot by Luessenhop which remove a lot of the characters daunting presence and ultimately came off a little tepid while the less said about that stupid tie he randomly puts on for the finale showdown the better. I mean is that supposed to symbolise him going to work?

The kills throughout are a lot of fun with some frustratingly being reworked or recycled from the original film, something alittle harder to ignore when you show us all the original kills at the start of the movie. Still the final pay off gives us a memorable death which is only hampered slightly by the use of CGI, something which is such a common issue in modern horror it almost feels like a pointless exercise to mention it. Sure its easier for the film maker by cutting down on the shot reload time but when it comes at the cost of presence for the viewer should the film makers convenience always win out?

While far from the best entry in the series its equally not the worst and certainly brings enough unique ideas to make it worth giving a look, but this is far from the film to represent the tone of the franchise.

Rare Exports

Title: Rare Exports
Director: Jalmari Helander
Released:
Staring: Onni Tommila

Plot:Set on Christmas Eve, were a group of reindeer farmers living near the Korvatunturi mountains find their herd mysteriously slaughtered. Blaming the lost of their herd of wolves they quickly to write the mysterious deaths off while now facing no source of income. Meanwhile a young boy named Pietari (Tommila) suspects that something that something else might be afoot, especially as an American drilling team working in the mountains have just discovered the mythical tomb of Santa Claus.


Review: This week marks a first for me, seeing how this is the first Finnish movie that I have reviewed ever, which is not too surprising as Finland isn’t exactly known for having a thriving film industry, yet it is from here this essential “Alternative Christmas” Selection hails from, as Director Jalmari Helander sets out to give us a very different take on the Santa Claus myth.

Starting life as a short film known as “Rare Exports Inc.” (2003) were director Jalmari Helander, shot a faux documentary following band of three hunters (marker, sniper and tracker) on the hunt for the wild Santa Claus. This he followed up in 2005 with the fake health and safety film “Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions” both of which were greeted highly positively and no doubt he could have been happy with this success alone, but it would seem that Helander wasn’t quite over his feral Santa obsessions, as with this film he finally expands his highly unique twist on the Santa legend into a full length feature. Here Helander’s vision of Santa is far from the jolly fat man who we all tend to think of when we here the name, but here is portrayed as a Nordic legend were Santa is a horned demon, who kidnaps naughty children and who was imprisoned in the mountains to stop his twisted ways. Still even working with such a unique twist on Santa Claus, Helander refuses to info dump the audience and instead plays things close to his chest thoughout, as he slowly adds layers to the myth, with the reindeer first turning up dead, followed soon after by all the village radiators and children apart from Pietari mysteriously vanishing over night, but the real mystery begins when a strange bearded and naked old man turns up in one of the wolf pits…could he be the same mythical Santa or is he something else?

While it might seem like yet another Christmas horror movie, the film is actually not as horror based as it would seem and largely plays like a warped fantasy film as Helander crafts out his own mythology for the Christmas legend, while his decision to play the events from a child’s prospective only help make the myth all the more believable, something seriously helped by Pietari who not being one of the usual Hollywood smart ass movie kids, but rather a more realistic character who not only has genuine fears about a killer Santa roaming the village, but also worries about his fragile bond with his father, who is largely emotionally cold to his son, spending most of his time as the unofficial head of the village and ensuring that they turn enough profit from their herds to enable them to survive, something which has clearly caused him to loose touch with his own son’s emotional needs, with this relationship in particular being one of the key plot lines as the film progresses, with Pietari clearly keen to show that he is more capable of looking after himself than his father would believe, while there is at the same time an undertone that the men in the village have to prove themselves to be men capable of contributing to the survival of the village, which Pietari has frequently failed to do with his shy and retiring nature, while all the other men are shown as tough and burly. Unsurprisingly for the location they live, these locals are often shown as being a really tough bunch of people, with even kids frequently shown carrying rifles, which is the lifestyle you’d expect looking at their remote living conditions, especially were their sole source of income come from their reindeer herds, which makes it easy to understand their plan to sell this strange old man to the American’s as a genuine Santa and Helander has done a great job of bringing to life a great cast of characters, who are genuinely interesting and believable to watch, while maintaining the same spirit of his original short films.

Santa and his naked elves (it makes sense when you watch it trust me) once again maintain strong ties to things largely associated with Christmas; hence we see them with a ravenous appetite for Gingerbread, as well as being able to smell children, while their lack of dialogue only adds a mysterious edge to them, as well as enforcing the fact that these are very primal creatures and as such perfectly suited to the barren landscape which they inhabit. Meanwhile the drilling crew are given out leaflets encouraging them to be good and think happy thoughts while working on the dig, by their mysterious American employer, while never fully being told what it is that they are looking for.

Once again despite being marketed as a horror film, there really isn’t much in the way of gore with most of the deaths outside of a surprise pick axe to the head happen off screen, with only brief scenes of a reindeer carcass being butchered being the closest the film gets to gore, though it is expected that to a Finnish audience these scenes wouldn’t be overly shocking, much like a Korean audience would view the squid eating scene in “Oldboy”. Still the film has nothing taken away from it, by keeping things gore free, while perhaps missing the chance to include the always effective shots of blood on fresh snow, which was kind of disappointing, much like Santa never getting a big final reveal.

On the whole “Rare Exports” is a very sweet natured yet twisted movie and best categorised as with the likes of “Pans Labyrinth” and “The City of Lost Children” as it took attempts to create a fantasy Christmas tale for adults, especially as the sight of rampaging naked old men, might be a little too much for most kinds, let alone adults to take, while Helander still manages to pull of a surprising twist at the end, which nicely ties into his earlier shorts. Still if you want something different to watch this Christmas aswell as an interesting take on the Santa myth, I would recommend giving this one a look.

C.R.A.Z.Y.

Title: C.R.A.Z.Y.
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée
Released: 2005
Staring: Marc-André Grondin, Michel Côté, Danielle Proulx, Pierre-Luc Brillant, Alex Gravel, Maxime Tremblay, Mariloup Wolfe, Francis Ducharme

Rating: 4 / 5

Plot: Zachary (Grondin) is struggling to find his own identity, whilst growing up with his four brothers and dealing with the ongoing conflict between his own confused sexuality and the desire to please his strict father (Côté).

Review: The legend goes that nearly everyone in Quebec - whose population is around five million – have seen this film, which honestly after seeing this film I can really understand why, as this is more than just another coming of age tale about awakening sexuality. It’s also a film about a family’s own disfunctionality and the things which bound them together, even as events happening around them continually threaten to pull them apart, which is what in turns makes this such a funny and moving film and much more than the underlying sexual awaking which is more of a sub-plot than anything close to the main story, something I have found myself especially stressing when I have spoken to anyone about this film, even more so when so many synopsis are keen to make it seem like it’s the only plot here, rather than the rich tapestry of colourful characters and memorable sequences, all tied together with a pretty bad ass soundtrack and dryly humorous narration from Zac

The main bones of the story, follow the relationship between Zac and his Father, with Zac clearly from a young age being his father’s favourite, while keeping a watchful eye over to ensure that he grows up properly, as he frowns upon his son playing with carriages and clearly missing the irony of his own camp Patsy Cline obsession, all the while ignoring the insistence by his wife (Proulx) that it’s perfectly normal behaviour along with her belief in his supposed faith healing abilities. The moment this father son relationship suffering a major derailing though, is when he catches Zac dressed in his mothers pearls and heels, despite this being actually an innocent attempt by Zac to calm his crying baby brother. Needless to say this suspicion regarding his son’s sexuality stays with him throughout, despite the fact that Zac never truly understands his own sexuality, acting almost like a sexual tourist rather than someone experiencing their sexual awakening as he embarks on relationships with girls, while also engaging in blow backs while smoking pot, lusting after his cousin and even a spot of voyeurism, as he watches the sport lays of his elder brother Raymond (Brilliant), watching from the safety of a bedroom closet, while later regaling his peers with tales of his brothers sexual conquests. Still by the film’s end he is closer to bi-sexual, while certainly none the clearer on his own sexuality.

The rest of his family from the outset could be seen as stereotypical caricatures, what with the book worm, the jock etc, with only his older brother Raymond, receiving the time from director Vallée to be fleshed out further, especially as he descends further into drug addiction, as a result of his care free lifestyle, which bizarrely is more expectable to his father than being gay, who generally seems to encourage any behaviour which can be seen in a macho light.

Vallée like Tarantino is certainly a director who likes to work with his soundtrack, as like Tarantino’s soundtracks, the soundtrack here plays an equally important part, beyond establishing the period and mood, as he frequently uses these musical ques for flights of fantasy, including the parishioners attending midnight mass to suddenly bursting into the Rolling Stones “Sympathy for the Devil” as Zac floats up above the masses. While Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” features strongly, alongside Ziggy Stardust era Bowie, clearly representing Zac’s growing confusion about himself, in much the same way that these song represent similar themes of madness, confusion and the glam rock blurring of the line of sexuality.

It could be argued that it perhaps runs alittle too long at over two hours, but when these characters are so fascinating to watch, especially for the occastional surreal moments, such as Zac’s mother ironing toast, while her junkie son is going through withdrawal on the coach, so I can’t say that I was overly bothered by spending so much time in their company, even if at times it seemed like the story didn’t seem to know were it was going, as especially highlighted by Zac taking a sudden pilgrimage to Jerusalem, which is thankfully devoid of any religious significance, which was to be half expected as a lesser film might no doubt have used religion to save Zac’s soul, but even this moment of spontaneity doesn’t bring us any closer to a satisfactory conclusion, with the film almost seeming to end suddenly, though not before explaining it’s title, which is actually quite a subtle and fun joke. Still despite Vallée not wrapping everything up in a neat conclusion the film still feels complete in a way, for real life doesn’t come with neat happy conclusions and it’s this thought which Vallée almost seems to share with the ending he has chosen.

While it might not be for everyone, especially with it’s spontaneous style of storytelling, it is still worth watching once, after all Five Million French Canadians can’t be wrong can they?