Class of Nuke 'Em High

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Class of Nuke ‘Em High

Director: Richard W. Haines, Lloyd Kaufman
Released: 1986
Starring: Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton, Robert Prichard, Pat Ryan Jr., James Nugent Vernon, Brad Dunker, Gary Schneider, Theo Cohan, Gary Rosenblatt, Mary Taylor, Rick Howard, Lauren Heather McMahon, Arther Lorenz

Plot: Strange things are afoot as Tromaville High School, with nuclear radiation leaking into the school from the power planet next door, things only get weirder when Warren and Chrissy are unwittingly given radioactive pot.

Review: The films of “Troma Entertainment” have always been an acquired taste to say the least, as despite frequently feeling the wrath of the critics with each new film they release, they have at the same time continued to be supported by a rabid fan base. After all what other studio can boast its own free festival promotional team made up completely of its fans? Equally Troma owner Lloyd Kaufman has frequently played a similar role to Roger Corman in assisting up and coming directors and actors in getting their first breaks in the industry including “Guardians of the Galaxy” director James Gunn (Tromeo and Juliet), “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker (Cannibal! The Musical) and even J.J. Abrams (Nightbeast) to name but a few! At the same time Kaufman has been equally keen to inspire others to make their own trash movies with his now dated due to their focus on shooting on film, but still amusing “Make Your Own Darn Movie” series of books.

Needless to say a Troma film is always a unique experience and this is none the less true here, with the film opening with nerdy student Dewey (Lorenz) accidently drinking nuclear waste out of a drinking fountain before suddenly freaking out and punching classmates before finally throwing himself out of a window, where he proceeds to melt into a gooey puddle on the concrete. Still this incident pales in comparison to the general issues that Tromaville High School has, with the hallways lined with random horny students constantly making out, while the debate team have turned into a psychotic biker gang called “The Cretins”, while look like rejects from “The Warriors” with their truly random styling, including Gonzo (Dunker) who dresses like a tribal warrior and even welds a bone while wearing a stupidly huge nose ring. Still within this mass of random characters none of whom seem to belong in the same movie, we have the young and innocent (well compared to their classmates) lovers Warren and Chrissy who after smoking the radioactive pot, which the Cretins are marketing as “Atomic High” picked from the nearby power plant they soon find themselves suffering from bizarre side effects with Warren soon gaining super strength, while the two are soon overcome with overwhelming horniness.

No doubt this all sounds random enough, but this of course is before you take into account the genre hoping antics taking place within the film as it switches between a horror, teen sex comedy and even superhero elements as Warren set out to take out the members of the Cretins, in a scene which comes across like a throwback to Troma favourite “The Toxic Crusader” as he appears with a mutated head and toxic waste squirting out of his ears. However despite this radical change he randomly be back to normal by the next time we see him. Still this is all without mentioning the mutant monster which Chrissy vomits into the school toilet only to later come back in its adult form for the finale where it soon sets about making short work of the remaining members of the cast.

The film is packed with the trademark splatter the Troma has over the years become renown for, all of course done with old school effects which are certainly creative to say the least, especially when they include Warren jamming his arm down one gang members throat, while another gang member gets his head punched through by Chrissy’s monstrous offspring. These of course just a few of the gory delights contained within, with Kaufman once again showing his ability to stretch a budget which is not limited to him intentionally changing the original name of the film from “Nuke ‘Em High” in hopes of people mistaking it for “Class of 1984”, with his crafty financial ways even making the mutant monster seem impressive despite it being incomplete at the time of filming, meaning that you never see the full creature only it’s hands and face, it still comes off pretty impressive and even more when you compare it to the CGI creations of late.

Moving at a rapid pace there always seems to be something happening throughout the film, even if it frequently fails to make a whole lot of sense, while the frequent bouts of gore and violence, provide most of highlights especially when the story so frequently feels like they are making it up as they go, which could knowing Troma be all so true. However the film in best b-movie / exploitation style does show you things you things you’d be unlikely to see anywhere else (and often with good reason) with the Cretin’s taking over the school and riding their motorcycles through the halls being especially memorable, much like the drug fuelled dreams of Warren and Chrissy which not only feature mutations aplenty, but also Warren sporting a monster (literally in this case) erection as he makes not so much a tent but a marque with his bed sheets. As with the majority of Troma’s output it is hard to recommend this film, as like most of John Water’s early film it is more a case of challenging you to experience it and make up your own mind, as this film is no different as its one you will either love or hate. Needless to say someone clearly did love this as it spawned two sequels which I guess I have doomed myself to watching at some point, much like I did by watching “Leprechaun” and while your regular movie goer will no doubt despise this, bad movie fans should atleast give this a look even if it does largely linger around the ass end of okay throughout.  

RaimiFest: The Evil Dead

Continuing the fun of “Raimifest” currently being held over at “Things That Don’t Suck”, the fantastic blog run by my critiquing hombre Bryce, so why not check out it out the fun currently happening over there and soak up some of the Raimi goodness!



Title: The Evil Dead
Director: Sam Raimi
Released: 1981
Staring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Richard DeManincor, Betsy Baker, Theresa Tilly

Plot: Five friends head to a cabin in the woods, were they find a copy of an ancient book detailing demonic possession and ceremonies. As well as the book they also find a tape recording translation of the book, which unknown to them releases a dark evil in the woods.



Review: Okay let me start by saying that I was never a fan of this film, having only really watched it once before and since then hadn’t really felt any kind of urge to revisit it since that original viewing, but seeing how we are in the midst of “Raimifest” I could think of no better excuse to revisit this film, after all my childhood memory is still imprinted with the original VHS artwork, which taunted me from the shelves of the local video rental and even though I never felt any urge to watch it, it still held a strange power over me, which could have been down to the lack of any kind of screenshot on the back or just the eerie green colouring of the zombie like creature on the front cover, whatever it was there was something about it which stuck with me.

Originally titled “The Book of the Dead” only for producer Irvan Shapiro to oppose the title, believing that audiences would expect to have to read, Raimi instead changed the name to “The Evil Dead” or “The Evil Dead, The Ultimate Experience In Gruelling Horror” to give the film it’s full title and it is certainly a film with a chequered past being one of the first films to make the notorious “Video Nasties” list and being frequently used by media moralist Mary Whitehouse, as an example of a video nasty in court, though ironically the version she used was not the uncut version but instead the cut version of the film, which had been passed for certification by the BBFC, were it had recived an X rating. The film would be frequently added and removed from the list before finally receiving its full uncut release in 2001 ironically on the same year that Whitehouse passed away.

Biding it’s time the film starts off quite typically with our fresh faced teens heading to their rented cabin in the woods and despite a few warning signs that something is nice quite right, be it the strange unseen presence moving quickly though the woods or the porch bench banging against the side of the cabin suddenly stopping, the group certainly have no idea of the night they have ahead of them, much like the viewer, for so far this is all a pretty traditional horror setup. Still Raimi clearly knows this seeing how he goes from this handful of setup moments, to his first big scare of the film aswell as the most controversial as Ash’s sister Cheryl is raped by the surrounding trees, which would also be the one scene which Raimi would later admit to regretting it’s inclusion in the final cut of the film and while it provides a shocking wake up call for the audience, it still is one of the few moments were the film perhaps takes things a little too far. Still from this moment onwards the film becomes a non stop ride into madness and sheer terror, which never lets up until the closing credits, which are equally haunting as the jolly and slightly out of place jazz music slowly grinds to a crawl before fading out completly, providing the viewer with no reprive while it still has command of the screen.

When it comes to the gore Raimi makes good on the advice he received from his friend Andy Grainger who had told him…

“Fellas, no matter what you do, keep the blood running down the screen”

Well it’s safe to say that Raimi manages to follow this advice almost religiously as not only is this possibly the most bloody film ever made, with possibly only Peter Jackson’s “Brain Dead” (1992) coming close to beating it, but nearly any possible bodily fluid is thrown at the screen, along with the various amputations, stabbings and beatings which happen throughout, as he builds to his epic finale in which bodies explode in epic meltdowns of stop motion animation, old school effects and something which strangely resembles pie filler, with Campbell being on the receiving end of the majority of the punishment being handed out, which could be down largely to the fact that Campbell was the only actor to stay with the production throughout, with the rest of the cast having scenes completed using stand in’s or “Fake Shemps” as they were branded, though Raimi seems to be personally setting out to torture him throughout the film, something which he would continue through to the sequels in which he seemed to constantly be finding new tortures for his long term friend and actor of choice. The use of “Fake Shemps” could also be seen as Raimi’s ongoing obsession with “The Three Stooges”, one of several reoccurring themes and icons which have appeared in nearly all his films, with these icons including Chainsaws and the now famous Oldsmobile, all of which made their debut here. With this feature length debut Raimi clearly is building on the foundations he lay with “Within The Woods” (1978), which he also used to raise the funds for this film, which in turn could now be seen as the testing ground for “Evil Dead 2” (1987) which is essentially a big budget remake, taking what worked here and fine tuning it for a bigger kick, which would explain the evolution of Ash to his more recognisable Wise cracking deadite slaying persona, aswell as the Chainsaw actually being used, rather than just playing the tease as he does here. Still there would still remain one aspect of this film, which Raimi would never be able replicate in the sequels and this is the sheer creepiness of Betsy Baker, thanks to a combination of milky white contacts and a Cheshire cat grin, which still haunts me like the turtle scene in “Cannibal Holocaust” (1980). Baker apparently still likes to dig out the contacts on Halloween and scare the hell out of the local kids, which I have to admit is pretty cool, though here when that smile and those wide eyes are combined with her insane ramblings it’s chilling.

While “The Evil Dead” might not be my favourite film in Raimi’s back catalogue, there is no denying it’s influence, especially seeing how it would go on to spawn not only it’s two sequels, but computer games, a musical as well as a popular comic spin off, while finding a whole new host of rabid fans, with every new generation of horror fans who discover it for the first time and while I would have preferred to have just ended the film with Ash walking away, rather than going for the final scare, but despite my qualms with the film it still remains almost a textbook example of how effective DIY horror can be when done well. Now if I could only just figure out why Raimi choose to have them drinking Moonshine of all things.

Slugs

Title: Slugs
Director: Juan Piquer Simón
Released: 1988
Staring: Michael Garfield, Kim Terry, Philip MacHale, Santiago Álvarez

Plot: When people start mysteriously dying, local health inspector Mike Brady (Garfield) discovers that a mutant strain of black slugs are responsible, but can he convince the authorities in time?



Review: There have frequently been moments throughout the history of the creature feature, were upon realising that the usual scary animals (Snakes, Spiders, Sharks etc) had been exhausted, that studios started looking to less likely objects of terror, such as Worms (Squirm), Giant Bunnies (Night of the Lepus) or Ants (Phase IV), while Larry Cohen has spent the best part of his career making the least likely of things scary, most memorably with his killer baby trilogy “It’s Alive” as well as also turning his attention to the idea of Killer Yogurt with “The Stuff”. Still some of these films worked surprisingly well or at least held some camp value, while as to be expected, these idea also created some serious none starters which it’s safe to say this film is certainly one of.

I first came across this movie, like I did for “Xtro 2” which was while scanning the shelves of my local video store "The Video Bug". It was here that I spent hours looking through the horror titles mainly and getting my kicks off the various gruesome cover arts and equally graphic film stills and like “Xtro 2” something stuck with me about this film, even though I’ve only now finally got around to watching the darn thing, which honestly for all it was hyped up by my cousin back when I was a kid, it really wasn’t worth dwelling over, for while slugs are naturally creepy things, they don’t exactly lend themselves well to horror, even if they are particularly vicious mutant strain complete with angry teeth filled mouths and even less when your relinging on showing speeded up footage of them.

The main problem “Slugs” suffers from is that it’s strengths all draw from it's gory scenes, which grows increasingly graphic as the film goes through with Simón not satisfied to stick with just slug on human carnage, but also manages to include a popped eyeball, a hacked off limb and even finding time to include what is possibly the first exploding greenhouse captured on film, aswell as a particularly standout moment were the slugs give one unfortunate victim one hell of a headache. Sadly as result of this focus the film has far to many dull patches between these scenes, were none of the cast and least of Director Simón seem to know what to do, which is helped even less, by how unlikable the characters are, with the majority of them nothing but slug chow. It’s kind of a shame actually that Simón’s interest doesn’t seem to stretch past the attack scenes, as these are frequently quite haunting in places including a scene towards the end were one character after being knocked into a pool is suddenly ravaged by the titular beasties in a scene which not only features a truly laughable attempt at a rescue, but also a corpse that looks like it’s deflating. Still these chills could be more to do psychological effect that slugs tend have over folks (myself included) than anything to do with any directorial talent of Simón.

Still when it comes to the method for dealing with these pesky beasties, no one seems to have considered using anything resembling the traditional way of dealing with them, by showing them with salt, but rather opting for the Hollywood way of Explosives and electricity to despatch them back to whatever slimy circle of hell they slithered out from. Yes this is the plan devised by a so called SLUG EXPERT played here by Santiago Álvarez, who here also handily fills the requirement for a British scientist, the kind of who are required by law to appear in these movies and preferably wear lab coats at all times, as after all that's how we know he's the expert.

The other problem the film suffers from is that it is a page to screen copy of the original novel by Shaun Hutson. Yes that’s right kids the publish world also bought into the idea of killer slugs and incase you were wondering, it’s bizarrely enough also garbage, just in the written word form as it is in the moving picture form, not that Hutson really cares it would seem apparently stating that Simón could “do what he liked” providing that he got paid and his original work wasn’t changed, which only surprised him further when Simón took him at his word, which might not have really been the best option here, especially as the plot is painfully plodding at best, with disposable characters having back stories fleshed out, which serve to really only add to the local colour of the town than anything plot wise.

The soundtrack here is almost schizophrenic, seeing how it seems to have been compiled purely of library tracks, rather than anything written specifically for the film, with only the slugs getting any form of soundtracking, while the rest of the soundtrack verges from sitcom to just plain random tracks, with none of it seemingly being placed to represent the action on screen.

“Slugs” is a film with numerous issues and wasn’t exactly worth the wait to see it, even if the gory moments are quite satisfying and no doubt the bits your more than likely to revisit, which is now only made the easier thanks to the film getting a DVD release, which is also the fully uncut version which gives you a few extra seconds of gore, but still nothing to explain how this film made it onto the banned list in Australia.

Final Girl Film Club - The Devil's Rain

Title: The Devil’s Rain
Director: Robert Fuest

Released: 1975

Staring: Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, Joan Prather, Eddie Albert, William Shatner, Ida Lupino

Rating: 1.5 / 5

Plot: When Mark Preston’s (Shatner) father goes missing, only to suddenly turn up demanding that the family give Corbis (Borgine) what he wants, Mark sets off on a journey to the desert town of Devils Rain, only to be captured, along with his mother Emma (Lupino) by Corbis. Now their only hope rests with his brother Tom (Skerritt) and Occult Expert Dr. Richards (Albert) as they prepare for a final showdown.

Review: It’s funny to think I was in such a great place with my life, what with my wedding only a month away (31st October) and my first hell spawn on the way, let alone the fact the blog is still going strong nine months after I first started out with an urge to write about the films I adore as well as those that I kind of wish I hadn’t bothered with, even along the way picking up the occasional comment from you like minded folks, who take the time to read these reviews. So yeah things were going pretty good…… until this movie came along, so thank you Stacey, and your “Final Girl Film Club” which is pretty much responsible for me sitting down to watch this film which looked quite promising from the outset, after all it features William “F’ing” Shatner, a man who usually can salvage even the most car crash of ideas and at the least make the outcome slightly humorous….kind of a shame that it didn’t happen here, as at more than one point I truly felt that I had found my own version of “The Manipulator” (1971) which Stacey herself deemed unreviewable, to the point were she didn’t even finish the film, which I actually managed to beat, by sitting through this film to the end, even if the final fifteen minutes, I watched after a brief break in viewing in a vain attempt to retain what was left of my sanity.

Ok surprisingly enough this film starts off pretty strong and I actually thought that I might have found another film to add to the collection, like I did with my last contribution to the film club, were we looked at Fulci’s “The Beyond” (1981), which as surreal a film as it was to watch, still turned out to be a pretty good film and it was a vibe I was getting here, especially with the creepy opening score by Al De Lory accompanied by the wails of what I assume to be tortured souls in hell, but this creepiness was really cranked up by Fuest, who chooses to play this over a slideshow of paintings by Heironymus Bosch, which proves to be more than a little unsettling and really prevents the audience any chance of settling into a comfort zone, something that is further reinforced by the fact that your barely ten minutes into the film, before your watching Mark’s father melting into a waxy puddle, after appearing suddenly minus his eyes and demanding that Mark and his Mother give Corbis what he wants! It certainly grabs your attention, as we now set off following Mark, as he prepares to confront Corbis. Sadly it seems that upon getting the attention of his audience, Fuest now doesn’t know what to do next and hence the film, suddenly starts to down spiral with the key moment being when Mark’s brother is suddenly introduced abruptly, making me wonder “Who the hell is this guy and why are we not watching Shatner?” and this also were I lost interest in this film, as Tom is not as interesting a character as Mark, even if he does have a psychic wife, whose psychic ability is really brought into question, when she couldn’t even see the Satanist hiding in the backseat of her car, which I think it’s safe to say that she didn’t see that one coming. Infact her only real role is to fill in the gaps in the back story, which seemed all too similar to that of Reverend Kane in Poltergeist 2 (1986), but were as Julian Beck was creepy as hell, Borgnine is about as threatening as a squashed frog, especially as he plays the character of Corbis the same as every other character he’s played and even when in goat-man form, he’s still none the more threatening, as he burbles away with Satanic quotations and generally spends the whole film chasing Tom around the town, which grows old pretty quick.

So after a strong start and a really dull middle section, it might seem that there is really nothing worth sitting through this film for, especially as Shatner is at this point also missing his eyes and generally mumbling to himself, like a crazy person. Thankfully it seems that Fuest seems to have at least thought of this as the film ends with an amazing meltdown sequence, which really makes the melting Nazi’s at the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) seem pretty timid (despite mildly traumatising me as a kid) and obviously releasing that the melting scene at the start of the film is what everyone liked, so the ending is pretty much the same thing again, just on a larger scale and it

As dull a film as it is, it does at least have a few interesting bits of trivia attached to it, such as Satanic High Priest Anton LaVey, who was not only brought on an advisor for this film, but also makes an appearance as a satanic priest, but good luck if you can spot him, much like John Travolta who gained his first screen credit with this film. With LaVey attached to the film, it makes it all the more surprising that the film is so ropey, especially in terms of the Satanist aspect as they come off more laughable than threatening. It kind of in a way brings into question how legit LaVey’s beliefs were in Satan, seeing how I always felt that it was a hoax religion, lead by a man of obvious high intelligence created to basically windup the Christian community and this film only helped to reinforce these beliefs.

There are some fans who might claim that this film is more effective, when looked at in context to its original year of release, when the majority of the population were terrified of Satanists living in the community and the youth devil worshiping and true it might be one of the better Satanist movies, but even when looked at in context to it’s original release it is still an extremely ropey movie at best and one that will test the devotion of even the biggest fan of Shatner. Still I have to go to the Dentist today, so it will be fun to see which is the more fun experience … literally.