Drive Angry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Drive Angry

Director: Patrick Lussier
Released: 2011
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Bill Burke, David Morse, Todd Farmer

Plot: Undead criminal John Milton (Cage) breaks out hell when he finds out that his daughter and her husband have been killed by Satanic cult leader Jonah King (Burke) who has also kidnapped Milton’s granddaughter who he plans to sacrifice as part of a Satanic ritual. Meanwhile an operative of Satan known as The Accountant (Fichtner) has been dispatched to bring Milton back.
 

Review: If you ever wanted to know how to automatically give me a lesser opinion of your film, release a trailer essentially consisting of grinning loons who got to see your film no doubt for free, while forcing them shout out sound bites of how much they supposedly love your film, while generally making claims that they have seen the “BEST FILM EVER!! No I didn’t just slip on the caps lock, but it’s probably the only way to capture on the page the grating enthusiasm for these comments that they see to bizarrely have for frequently awful films…but then perhaps this is the only film these folks have seen...you know ever! Alas this was the situation I found myself in as I entered into this film (see it wasn’t just random ranting) especially when all I could remember about this film was those awful adverts and the handful of intriguing snippets of action it contained.

Still no doubt the sheer sight of Nicolas Cage’s involvement in this film, will have most folks giving it a skip anyway, especially with Cage working his way out of his tax troubles and other debts by seemingly appearing in every film currently being made. True this has resulted in him taking on some of his more questionable roles, but it is hard to deny that when he does take on a role he digs he really is still an incredible actor, as “Kick-Ass” or “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” are only further testament to. Sadly though this was not to be one of his better efforts, as he largely sleepwalks his way through this film while never seeming fully committed to the role, yet thanks to a largely no name cast his performance does give the illusion of being better than it is.

The cast director Lussier has assembled here as I mentioned are largely no name, with only half a dozen recognisable faces being drafted for the more dramatically involved parts I.E the ones not requiring you to run around randomly or just being kill count fodder. Sadly for some reason though he also skimped on the casting of the films big evil, as Burke never once feels threatening, despite Lussier frequently showcasing him doing various hideous acts, he still ends up coming off like a henchman than any real kind of threat to Milton. Thankfully the evil quota is partially saved by a scene chewing Fichtner who not only gives a performance with undertones of Christopher Walken but also seems to be having a blast as the relentless henchman of Satan “The Accountant” who is not only invincible but also rocks a sharp suit to boot, while also processing a penchant for coin tosses like Chigurh in “No Country For Old Men” for who both share a relentless devotion to their work. It’s just a shame that more wasn’t made of his role, rather than generally using him as another obstacle for Milton to overcome on the quest to rescue his Grandchild.

On equally strong form is Heard as he waitress Piper who unwittingly becomes Milton’s sidekick. Piper’s character though suffers like so many other aspects of the film from some clumsy characterisation which see’s her character randomly switching back and forth from helpless damsel in distress to ass kicking firecracker on a whim, which is frequently frustrating when you have scenes of her catching her cheating fiancé in bed with another woman who she proceeds to beat the hell out of, as she tosses her out of her trailer, only to then suddenly fall apart when it comes to facing off against her fiancé suddenly losing any of her awesome fighting skills she had only moments earlier, with the only reason being seemingly so that Milton can come and rescue her like a knight in grungy leathers.

As with Lussier’s previous film, the enjoyable remake of “My Bloody Valentine” this film was also released originally in 3D, which as with his previous film I never saw in 3D but rather the 2D conversion which does mean that the once 3D moments now stand out looking like cheap CGI. This of course is a minor issue and one generally covered by the fact that I don’t own a HD TV. Where the real issue is though is that Lussier uses the 3D format in what is very much an old school style in that it is more about the spectacle (and generally seeing what he can throw at the audience). On the plus side this lust for spectacle does occasionally play in the films favour, as it opens with Milton driving a muscle car out of hell, with finale seing Milton and Piper take on King’s army of redneck Satanists in an epic shootout, which includes also includes such highlights members of such as the random naked machine gun welding chick and cultists ablaze and still frenziedly shooting shotguns. Sadly for a film whose title and trailer which sells itself as being high on car smash excitement, feels largely sterile thanks to Lussier largely favouring green screen or over car rigs, which considering that he has a gearhead like Cage on the film seems like a wasted opportunity to have done more like “Gone In Sixty Seconds” for which Cage his own driving still stands a strong testament to his skills behind the wheel.     

Sadly this is far from the neo-grindhouse experience I was hoping for, especially when this is a film were whenever it manages to give the viewer something special I couldn’t help but feel that I had seen it done better before, leaving me with an ultimately hollow viewing experience with a prime example being its shootout during sex which honestly was done better in the underrated “Shoot em-up”, while the dialogue frequently comes off like someone doing a poor Tarantino impersonation. Maybe with the right setting this film could have been a more fun experience, but from this viewing I was left ultimately cold and largely irritated. As such I advise it as one to approach with caution even for Nicolas Cage completists like myself.

Final Girl Film Club - The Devil's Rain

Title: The Devil’s Rain
Director: Robert Fuest

Released: 1975

Staring: Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, Joan Prather, Eddie Albert, William Shatner, Ida Lupino

Rating: 1.5 / 5

Plot: When Mark Preston’s (Shatner) father goes missing, only to suddenly turn up demanding that the family give Corbis (Borgine) what he wants, Mark sets off on a journey to the desert town of Devils Rain, only to be captured, along with his mother Emma (Lupino) by Corbis. Now their only hope rests with his brother Tom (Skerritt) and Occult Expert Dr. Richards (Albert) as they prepare for a final showdown.

Review: It’s funny to think I was in such a great place with my life, what with my wedding only a month away (31st October) and my first hell spawn on the way, let alone the fact the blog is still going strong nine months after I first started out with an urge to write about the films I adore as well as those that I kind of wish I hadn’t bothered with, even along the way picking up the occasional comment from you like minded folks, who take the time to read these reviews. So yeah things were going pretty good…… until this movie came along, so thank you Stacey, and your “Final Girl Film Club” which is pretty much responsible for me sitting down to watch this film which looked quite promising from the outset, after all it features William “F’ing” Shatner, a man who usually can salvage even the most car crash of ideas and at the least make the outcome slightly humorous….kind of a shame that it didn’t happen here, as at more than one point I truly felt that I had found my own version of “The Manipulator” (1971) which Stacey herself deemed unreviewable, to the point were she didn’t even finish the film, which I actually managed to beat, by sitting through this film to the end, even if the final fifteen minutes, I watched after a brief break in viewing in a vain attempt to retain what was left of my sanity.

Ok surprisingly enough this film starts off pretty strong and I actually thought that I might have found another film to add to the collection, like I did with my last contribution to the film club, were we looked at Fulci’s “The Beyond” (1981), which as surreal a film as it was to watch, still turned out to be a pretty good film and it was a vibe I was getting here, especially with the creepy opening score by Al De Lory accompanied by the wails of what I assume to be tortured souls in hell, but this creepiness was really cranked up by Fuest, who chooses to play this over a slideshow of paintings by Heironymus Bosch, which proves to be more than a little unsettling and really prevents the audience any chance of settling into a comfort zone, something that is further reinforced by the fact that your barely ten minutes into the film, before your watching Mark’s father melting into a waxy puddle, after appearing suddenly minus his eyes and demanding that Mark and his Mother give Corbis what he wants! It certainly grabs your attention, as we now set off following Mark, as he prepares to confront Corbis. Sadly it seems that upon getting the attention of his audience, Fuest now doesn’t know what to do next and hence the film, suddenly starts to down spiral with the key moment being when Mark’s brother is suddenly introduced abruptly, making me wonder “Who the hell is this guy and why are we not watching Shatner?” and this also were I lost interest in this film, as Tom is not as interesting a character as Mark, even if he does have a psychic wife, whose psychic ability is really brought into question, when she couldn’t even see the Satanist hiding in the backseat of her car, which I think it’s safe to say that she didn’t see that one coming. Infact her only real role is to fill in the gaps in the back story, which seemed all too similar to that of Reverend Kane in Poltergeist 2 (1986), but were as Julian Beck was creepy as hell, Borgnine is about as threatening as a squashed frog, especially as he plays the character of Corbis the same as every other character he’s played and even when in goat-man form, he’s still none the more threatening, as he burbles away with Satanic quotations and generally spends the whole film chasing Tom around the town, which grows old pretty quick.

So after a strong start and a really dull middle section, it might seem that there is really nothing worth sitting through this film for, especially as Shatner is at this point also missing his eyes and generally mumbling to himself, like a crazy person. Thankfully it seems that Fuest seems to have at least thought of this as the film ends with an amazing meltdown sequence, which really makes the melting Nazi’s at the end of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981) seem pretty timid (despite mildly traumatising me as a kid) and obviously releasing that the melting scene at the start of the film is what everyone liked, so the ending is pretty much the same thing again, just on a larger scale and it

As dull a film as it is, it does at least have a few interesting bits of trivia attached to it, such as Satanic High Priest Anton LaVey, who was not only brought on an advisor for this film, but also makes an appearance as a satanic priest, but good luck if you can spot him, much like John Travolta who gained his first screen credit with this film. With LaVey attached to the film, it makes it all the more surprising that the film is so ropey, especially in terms of the Satanist aspect as they come off more laughable than threatening. It kind of in a way brings into question how legit LaVey’s beliefs were in Satan, seeing how I always felt that it was a hoax religion, lead by a man of obvious high intelligence created to basically windup the Christian community and this film only helped to reinforce these beliefs.

There are some fans who might claim that this film is more effective, when looked at in context to its original year of release, when the majority of the population were terrified of Satanists living in the community and the youth devil worshiping and true it might be one of the better Satanist movies, but even when looked at in context to it’s original release it is still an extremely ropey movie at best and one that will test the devotion of even the biggest fan of Shatner. Still I have to go to the Dentist today, so it will be fun to see which is the more fun experience … literally.