Atomic Blonde

Title: Atomic Blonde

Director: David Leitch

Released: 2017

Starring: Charlize Theron, James McAvoy, John Goodman, Til Schweiger, Eddie Marsan, Sofia Boutella, Toby Jones, Roland Møller, Jóhannes Jóhannesson             

Plot: It's 1989 and days before the collapse of the Berlin Wall, MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton is dispatched to recover a microfilm that contains the details of every intelligence agent on both sides of the Cold War active in Berlin, only to soon discover that she’s not the only one who wants to find it.

Review: I’m frequently surprised by what films are adapted from graphic novels with “Road to Perdition” and “A History of Violence” being prime examples and this is certainly the case for this film which is adapted from “The Coldest City” by Antony Johnston which has since the release of the film been renamed “Atomic Blonde” to strengthen the connection to the film.

While the idea of Charlize Theron being an action star might seem like a new direction for her career following on from show stealing turn as Furiosa in “Mad Mad: Fury Road” but at the same time it could be argued that she’s had this edge to her career since turning up in the problematic yet surprisingly not terrible remake of “The Italian Job” or “Promethus” were she’s seen doing push ups when she leaves her cryo-pod while her fellow crew mates are too busy throwing up. Needless to say much like Linda Hamilton she really is the hidden gem of an action heroine as she certainly proves here as she teams up with Director David Leitch who here minus his “John Wick” co-director Chad Stahelski is clearly attempting to continue in his efforts to re-invent the modern action movie.

While it might be sold on the premise of being a female John Wick a moniker that is almost as cringe-worthy and lazy as Hayao Miyazaki being refered to as the “Disney of Japan”. Sadly this really is not we ultimately end up getting here despite Theron efforts to really deliver something special and to her credit she really is one of the few remarkable things about this film, more so when her performance was the only thing I really wanted to save while the rest of the film just left me wanting to just tear it down to the studs and start over.

For Theron this film is something of a passion project and from her performance it’s certainly clear with her training for the film which saw Theron not only cracking two teeth but also sparring with Keanu Reeves who at the time was also gearing up for “John Wick 2”. When you see them results of her hard work on screen you really have to commend her hard work especially when it adds a sense of realism to her performance. More so when it comes to the action scenes which much like “John Wick” certainly have a kinetic flow to them as well as a touch of realism as her character is frequently beaten up and blooded from each encounter while being shown taken ice baths to deal with the injuries so that she can drag herself through to the completion of her mission. If anything it was these action scenes that I wanted to revisit more than the confusing plotting surround them.

The idea of setting the film during the cold war might seem refreshing it really doesn’t give the film much outside of providing a significant event to set the finale against. More so when going into the film I had no idea that it was even supposed to be set in the late 80’s instead believing that I was going to be watching Theron kicking ass in a post Soviet Russia especially seeing the random ass get up of fellow agent David Percival played here by an underwhelming James McAvoy who I ended up wishing they’d cut from the film or better still just have Joaquin Phoenix reprise his performance from “Buffalo Soldiers” whose character is what Percival essentially is once you remove the spy antics. Sadly due to his significance to the plot we are lumbered with him.

Elsewhere we get do get smaller and more effective performances from Toby Jones who plays Theron’s MI6 superior and much like John Goodman who plays his CIA counterpart is someone I never really tire of showing up in surprising places like this, but here he is really one of the few performances that I wanted to see more of here.

Ultimately the downfall of the film can be found in the plotting which packed with double agents and the inevitable double and dare we say triple crosses end up turning into a confused mess as the relevance of certain characters becomes all the more questionable the more twists that are added while others such as Sofia Boutella’s French agent Delphine are given things to justify their presence in the story which in the case of Delphine seems mainly to provide an unrequited lesbian sex scene between her and Theron which like so much of the padding here added nothing to the story bar some brief titillation, even though the film makers have been quick to defend her role as being a way to humanize Theron’s character despite the fact we are shown numerous shots of her pining for her lover and fellow agent we see being killed at the start of the film.

Soundtrack wise it’s as predictable as to be expected as the usual 80’s pop hits are dusted off because seemingly we can’t have any mention of the cold war without Kaleida’s “99 Luftballons” working its way in there while George Michael’s “Father Figure” just feels miss placed.. We do get a couple of highlights in David Bowie’s “Cat People (Putting out fire)” being used to the same effect it was in “Inglorious Bastards” with our female ass kicker putting on her make up while “London Calling” by the Clash works equally well.

Ultimately this is a forgettable spy thriller with some memorable action scenes which much like Theron’s performance will no doubt be one of the few things you remember about it when it’s over. Certainly this is a character I would see developed or dispatched on a less confused plot as this was far from the introduction it deserved.

Resident Evil: Retribution

Title: Resident Evil: Retribution

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Released: 2012

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Kevin Durand, Sienna Guillory, Shawn Roberts, Aryana Engineer, Oded Fehr, Colin Salmon, Johann Urb, Boris Kodjoe, Li Bingbing

Plot: Picking up directly after the end of “Resident Evil: Afterlife” Alice (Jovovich) now finds herself captured by the Umbrella Corperation and placed in an underwater facility which also doubles as a demonstration ground for the effects of the T-Virus. Now Alice must team up with the mysterious Ada Wong to escape the facility which is now under the control of a recently reactivated “Red Queen”.

Review: Its staggering to think at this point in the series that we are five films deep in the franchise which at this point has also gone on its own very unique path from the source material as we continue to follow the journey of Alice in her battle against the Umbrella Corporation and of course the zombie hordes created by the T-Virus. Still just when we thought the series had already gone way off the deep end Director Paul W. S. Anderson somehow manages to find a way to top it.

Seeing how the previous film ended on the fantastic cliffhanger of Alice on the deck of of the Umbrella Tanker Arcadia as she stared down a squadron of Umbrella Tiltrotors. Now half expecting the film to open with Alice being captured what Anderson gives us instead is actually something pretty special as we get to the events which transpired played out in reverse slow motion which honestly only serves to make it all the more impactful than if we’d seen it played out normally.

One of the strengths of the series has always been Jovovich’s performance as Alice a role she truly has made more and more her own with each film even designing Alice’s outfits through her own fashion line. Here though we get to see a new side to Alice as she finds herself waking up in a suburban dream life complete with husband and deaf daughter Becky (Engineer) only for dream to quickly turn into the same sort of zombie nightmare we saw at the start of Zack Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead” remake. Here in lies the kicker for this instalment as Alice finds herself in a facility made up of large scale remakes of various cities such as Tokyo and New York which originally had been designed as a way of selling the T-virus to various countries replicating the rival country at the facility. This of course really is just an excuse for Anderson to craft a series of large scale and flamboyant action sequences as the film itself feels like one long shoot out, especially with the plot moving at such a fast pace.

The action throughout is great to look and while this entry perhaps features more heroic gunplay than previous entries with the introduction of Ada Wong here played note perfect by Li Bingbing whose performance was surprisingly dubbed well by Sall Cahill but watching the film I couldn’t tell . Ada as a character though is finally a character able to stand toe to toe with Alice and to see them working together in the film really was a thrill. Afterall why have one kickass lady when you can have two.

Each of the settings are unique enough to stand out and provides a decent change from another round of post-apocalyptic wastelands or the sterile facilities of the umbrella corporation. True none of it is shot with seemingly the slightest concern for what is realistic or not but its really hard to complain when its so much fun to have scenes such as a high speed chase through a simulated Moscow or an army of zombie soldiers. These scenes only being added to by Anderson’s visual style which here once again works really well.

This facility setting for the film also means we get to see the return of several characters such as James (Salmon) and Rain (Rodriguez) who get to return to the series as clones. Rodriguez in perticular getting to play two versions of herself as we see her playing her Strike team persona from the first film sent to hunt Alice and Ada aswell as the suburban version who plays like the complete opposite as she acts openly shocked at the idea of using guns. Yes I could have done without seeing Colin Salmon again, but then I can pretty much do without seeing him in most things., Rodriguez meanwhile is enjoyable as always and getting to see the super powered version at the end was only an added treat.

For some reason Anderson here also chooses to saddle Alice with a Deaf daughter, who its explained early on is infact a clone from the suburban simulation created to play her daughter. Of course knowing this Alice still shows a mothers devotion to the child perhaps because Anderson couldn’t find a way to morally justify dumping the kid without turning her into a zombie kid. Maybe this was just another way of working his obsession with James Cameron’s “Aliens” into the film and creating his own version of Ripley and Newt. At the same time you could also see the different settings the group travel through as being a nod to “Westworld” which was also reportedly another source of inspiration for the film.

Ending on another tantalising cliffhanger with Alice having her superhuman abilities restored and the sight of humanity making its last stand from the grounds of the fortified White House. Say what you will about Anderson as a director he really knows how to make an audience crave that next instalment.

Lady Bloodfight

Title: Lady Bloodfight

Director: Chris Nahon

Released: 2016

Starring: Amy Johnston, Muriel Hofmann, Jenny Wu, Kathy Wu, Jet Tranter, Mayling Ng, Sunny Coelst, Rosemary Vandebrouck, Lisa Cheng

Plot: While attempting to escape her troubled homelife by backpacking in Hong Kong, Jane (Johnston) attracts the attention of Shu (Hofmann) when she is forced to fend off a group of thugs. Now under Shu’s training she enters into the all-female underground fighting tournament known as “The Kumite”.

Review: Originally created by writer / producer Bey Logan as a project to showcase the top female talent of Hong Kong martial arts cinema such as Maggie Q and Shu Qi only for the project to languish in development hell. Picked up by “Voltage Pictures” the film was instead turned into something for a more mainstream audience though surprisingly retaining a gritty edge to its action.

Directed by French director Chris Nahon who is no doubt best known for “Kiss of the Dragon” aswell as the live action adaptation of “Blood: The Last Vampire”. Here he once more brings a highly visual style to the film, though you might want to lower your expectations before you go into this expecting another “Kiss of the Dragon” arguably one of the best of Jet Li’s films. At the same time it should be noted that despite being given what essentially is a gender-swapped version of “Bloodsport” still manages to give us a surprisingly enjoyable brawler.

One of the big issues of this film really falls on the lack of plotting and character development which plagues this film throughout. Lets take Jane our heroine for example who arguably gets the most development of any of the cast and who we are introduced to working as a waitress were her zero tolerance for being harassed by pervert customers sees her being fired from her job and with only her slovenly chain smoking mother at home, she decides to find out what happened to her father who disappeared eight years previous while competing in the Kumite and well that’s about all we ever find out about her.

The other main plotline here involves rival masters Shu and Wei (Kathy Wu) who we see battling at the start of the film in the previous Kumite and from the large amount of time lapse photography spliced into their fight, we are lead to believe is also a fight which has gone on for hours, despite neither fighter seemingly any less dishevelled nor beat up than when they started. When the pair managed to ultimately fight to a draw they are tasked by the Kumite to each train a fighter to represent them in the following years competition which bring in Jane as the fighter of Shu while Wei finds her fighter in the thief and hoodrat Wai (Jenny Wu) who with her hotheaded nature could be seen as the closest the film really has to a villian outside of the psychotic Russian convict Svietta (Mayling Ng).

The fight scenes throughout are surprisingly brutal with this film certainly being more about attractive female fighters engaging in titillating catfights but rather them beating each other to a bloody pulp which is certainly the case for Jane who frequently comes off the worse in her fights. The fight scenes are further helped by the background of many of the actresses having a martial arts background which is certainly the case of Mayling Ng whose IMDB page features as demo real of her skills. Amy Johnston on the other hand has an extensive list of stunt woman credits and much like Zoe Bell who she also co-starred in “Raze” with makes the transition to actress with ease and believability here.

The downside to the action scenes comes from some seriously choppy editing and misguided attempts to include flashy camera work to heighten these scenes and add to the excitement. The other issues comes from Nahon shooting so close to the fight scenes rather than giving them the space to breathe and allow the audience to be able to see what is happening on the screen.

Despite being a DTV title certainly here on these rain soaked shores this film really fights above its expectations and while it might not be the most groundbreaking film of the year, while perhaps verging on blatant plagiarism of “Bloodsport” this is still an entertaining if slightly flawed brawler that’s still worth giving a look.

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance

Title: Sympathy For Lady Vengeance

Director:  Park Chan-wook
Released: 2005
Starring: Lee Young-ae, Choi Min-sik, Kwon Yea-young, Kim Shi-hoo, Oh Dal-su, Lee Seung-Shin, Kim Byeong-ok, Ra Mi-ran, Seo Young-ju, Kim Boo-seon

Plot: Wrongly imprisoned for the kidnap and murder of a young boy, Lee Guem-Ja (Lee Young-ae)  has spent the last thirteen years plotting her revenge on the man responsible Mr Baek (Choi Min-sik). Now with the help of the prisoners she helped while serving her sentence she sets out to put her plan into action.

Review:  The third and final film in Chan-wook’s “Vengeance Trilogy” following on from “Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance” and “Oldboy” while it is also a trilogy more in the sense of reoccurring themes and ideas rather than characters, while Chan-Wook’s trilogy can equally be known for just how beautiful he manages to make the look of revenge, despite the fact that he has his characters over the course of the trilogy carry out some truly ugly acts. More frustatingly though is the fact that the bookend films in this trilogy are generally overshadowed by “Oldboy” a film which has gone onto alongside “Battle Royale” and “The Raid:Redemption” become one of the few subtitled movies that everyone including none subtitle fans have seen. This of course is only more of a shame especially when this film alongside “Symphony for Mr. Vengeance” are equally as good if not better than the middle film in this trilogy a case I have especially argued for this film.

Opening with the release of the angelic Guem-Ja its hard to imagine that she will soon transform herself into an Angel of Vengeance but as she rejects the offer of snow white tofu from the gathering of Christians outside the prison its clear that she has no plans of living pure as her consumption of the tofu would symbolise. Soon though she is wearing her trademark red eye shadow and leather coat but not before she has attempted to apologise to the parents of the boy she is accused of murdering by cutting off her finger in an attempt it would seem to cut them all off which goes down as well as can be expected.

One of the great aspects of this film is how this time is seeing how Geum-ja puts her plan into action, visiting paroled inmates she helped while in prision she is quickly able to assemble everything she needs and it’s during this portion of the film that we not only get to meet this colourful group of characters including my personal favourites the husband and wife bank robber team and a plump lesbian responsible for killing and barbequing her family, while we also learn the things that Geum-ja did to help each of them from caring for them to the more extreme donating of a kidney and slowly poisoning the prison bully making it little surprise with so many selfless deeds being done by her that they are so keen to help her with her plans for revenge. Of course the path to revenge is never a straight path and it was never truer than here as even with all the tools required to carry out her revenge she soon discovers that her situation may just be a small part of a much larger picture which soon leads to a much more chilling finale which comes completely by surprise yet at the same time makes for a fitting finale for the trilogy as a whole.

As with the previous entries in the trilogy Chan-Wook once more brings a distinct visual look to the film as here the grim cityscapes are countered by the purity of nature, with his use of snow being especially effective as we are reminded once more of how effective blood on snow can look. Despite more once containing some memorable scenes of violence throughout, though perhaps nothing to the levels seen in “Oldboy” here he goes more for subtly over splatter while at the same time making it look stunning to watch, proving once more that such stunning visuals shouldn’t be kept solely to arthouse and prestige pictures.

For those coming to the film after the spectacle of “Oldboy” they may find themselves slightly disappointed by the slower pacing of this film, much less the lack of shocking scenes as no one is eating live squid or taking on multiple thugs with a hammer here. This is of course not to say much like “Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance” that the film is lacking in its own memorable moments such as the touching reunion with her daughter now living in Australia with her adopted parents or the showdown with a pair of thugs in which Geum-ja constantly has to keep judging her position to ensure her gun is in range. Geum-ja constantly proving that she is far from the fragile doll despite the angelic persona she equally hides that of a devil aswell as she proves herself more than capable of handling herself or carrying out ruthless deeds without any concern for the morals of her actions.

On equally great form is Choi Min-sik who after playing the antihero lead in “Oldboy” here returns as the villain of the film Mr Baek and who like Geum-ja does his own great job of showing two very different sides to his personality as he hides behind the persona of being a friendly primary school teacher who we see in one seen happily entertaining his class with a rendition of “Two Little Dickie Birds” before showing him at home brutally abusing his wife, who it turns out is also a former cellmate of Geum-ja who married him as part of her revenge plot which makes you wonder what else Geum-ja did that we didn’t see to inspire such loyalty and favours from these former convicts.   The fact that he is such a hedious character certainly makes his fate easier to accept, especially from the surface details such as him being an abusive husband, but the fact that Chan-Wook is able to add further grime to his character as Geum-ja gets closer to completing her revenge only hightens the film above just another run of the mill revenge flick.

While it’s true that this entry is more concerned with its styling and cinematography than the previous entry, much less slower paced this is far from a boring watch, thanks to its interesting characters and Chan-Wook’s ability to

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Title: Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Director: Andy Sidaris
Released: 1987
Starring: Ronn Moss, Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Rodrigo Obregon, Cynthia Brimhall, Patty Duffek, Wolf Larson, Lorry Green, Peter Bromilow

Plot: When two DEA agents are killed on a private Hawaiian island, Agents Donna (Speir) and Taryn (Carlton) soon intercept as part of their investigation a delivery of diamonds belonging to drug lord Seth Romero who plans to flood Hawaii with drugs by taking over the island of Molokai.

 

Review: The second film in director Andy Sidaris’s “Triple B” series (Boobs, Bullets and Bombs) of loosely attached films in which Sidaris casts Playmates / Penthouse Pets as the leads in his series of over the top action films with this film being one which I recently got to discuss on the “Exploding Helicopter” podcast. Now If you’ve ever seen any of Sidaris’s other films you will already know what to expect going into this film, as Sidaris essentially picked up were Russ Meyer left off as he shares Meyer’s love for amply breasted ladies, moulding his films around this love by casting them as his feisty leads in these otherwise by the book 80’s action fests with a healthy side order of cheese.

The plot is as paper thin as it is nonsensical with Sidaris padding out the plot with a healthy dose of nudity and softcore sex scenes, aswell as a random sub-plot involving a seemingly invincible killer snake. This however does not stop it from being a fun ride and all the more unsurprising that it has more recently gained a real cult following, if especially for some of the more truly bonkers scenes including the much discuss assassination attempt, by an assassin riding a skateboard and while holding a blow up sex doll!

While the girls are more than capable of handling things on their own, the girls are joined by fellow agents Rowdy (Moss) who can seemingly can only use a bazooka to hit anything (by his own confession no less) making me wonder what exactly the entrance requirements are for their agency, while Jade (Dimond) brings some killer kickboxing skills. Both 80’s action hero cut outs, yet still make for an amusing double act whenever they are left to their own devices or have one of the numerous attractive ladies to distract them.

The action scenes are one of the main selling points and other than the appeal of gratuitous nudity; Sidaris crafts several great action scenes which are so amusingly over the top it’s hard to not use these moments to see past the numerous other flawed parts of the film. After all what other film sees a bazooka being showcased as having so many uses, including being used at point blank range with zero effect on the shooter. Such leaps in realism are scattered throughout the film with the real jump the shark moment coming when Rowdy takes out a guard using a razorblade Frisbee in yet another standout moment. Still this is also a world where the characters have movie posters on the wall of the directors other films hanging on the wall.

The acting on show here is surprisingly better than you would expect from a cast which largely consists of glamour models. This is not to say that its Oscar worthy, but certainly its not being hammed up, with the general feeling being that the cast and director were genuinely trying to make a good movie, something only further reinforced by the introduction provided by Sidaris and Julie Strain, even Sidaris spends most of it complimenting the looks of his leading ladies.

True this might be abit of a cornball action movie, with more than a handful of outlandish moments, but then this really is all part of its charm and makes it only the easier to understand its cult appeal. This isn’t award winning film making but at the same time it’s a world apart from the intentionally bad efforts churned out by the likes of “The Asylum”, while it more than lives up to its triple b promise, with enough boobs, explosions and gunfire to keep things intresting. So watch it with an open mind and a few like-minded friends and it’s a blast. So buy a ticket and just enjoy the ride.

Bikini Bandits Experience

Title: Bikini Bandits Experience

Director: Steve Grasse

Released: 2002

Starring: Maynard James Keenan, Dee Dee Ramone, Jello Biafra, Corey Feldman, Peter Grasse, Larry McGearty, Bret Reilly, Heather-Victoria Ray, Heather McDonnell, Betty San Luis, Cynthia Diaz, Robyn Bird, Clark O’Donnel

Plot: Following the Bikini Bandits a four strong gang of bikini loving, muscle car driving and machine gun welding bad asses, as they embark on a series of ever more random adventures, which see them being sent to hell and even traveling though time.

Okay I couldn't find a trailer, but this is pretty much what the whole film is like

Review: Honestly I originally had zero plans to review this film, happy to write it off as another zero which failed to turn out more. However since that original viewing something strange happened as I found myself still thinking about the film and frequently finding myself talking about it to other cult cinema fans, about this film which is honestly largely a horrible mess, yet at the same time projects an aura that somewhere in this hour long jumble of ideas and random plots there was something special lurking under the titillating and confused surface.

Originally the Bikini Bandits were launched as a series of short films via the now defunct Atomfilms.com and would be there that the series slowly gained a cult following of sorts as the girls embarked on a series of increasingly random adventures the majority of which have now been edited into this film. At the same time they have also been padded out with new shorts which see director Grasse taking stabs at American consumerism via home shopping commericals for the fictional conglomerate Gmart, aswell as going off on further random tangents with the beyond creepy “Morning Yoga” and the seemingly shot on the cuff “Zembo” segments were a fez wearing Zembo basically harasses unsuspecting members of the public about if they know who the Bikini Bandits are. Needless to say with the exception of the Gmart segments which also features a John Waters Alike who along with his fellow host stop them from seeing like yet more filler thanks to their tone perfect performances.

Due to the film essentially being a best of collection of those original shorts loosely tied together with increasingly random filler, the film is unquestionably disjoined to say the least and makes for an experience similar to watching TV while your ADD suffering friend frequently flicks through the channels. At the same time the various misadventures the bandits find themselves on haven’t been developed beyond their original shorts so hence most of the adventures revolve around the girls finding themselves in an interesting situation before Grasse turns it into yet another excuse for cheap thrills as the stories are often suddenly ended with the girls engaging in some form of Andy Sidaris inspired slap and tickle or tormenting whatever male character happens to be nearby. Of course such antics are not only kept to the Bandit segments as they also make up a series of mock adverts for muscle cars, which generally consist of bikini clad ladies welding guns and draping themselves over the car. Still if this wasn’t enough titillation for you already, we also get the “Imports Suck” segement which consists solely of bikini clad ladies taking sledgehammers to a car….still whatever floats your boat right. How much of the film was inspired by the films of Andy Sidaris who essentially pioneered the Girls and guns film with the likes of “Return to Savage Beach” and “Hard Ticket To Hawai” its hard to say especially when it also seems to be a questionable homage to as well as grindhouse cinema, if perhaps with none of the style that Rodriguez and Tarantino brought with their own homages which kick-started the Neo-grindhouse genre.

The only developed story we do get being “Bikini Bandits Go To Hell” thanks to its original multipart structure which sees the girls being the girls being tasked by Giant penis codpiece wearing Satan (Keenan) to deflower the Virgin Mary or face being forced to watch 80’s favourite Corey Feldman dance for all eternity. It is probably around this point were most people will choose if they stick with this film or not, especially when Grasse doesn’t seem to give much a damn about who he offends, as he frequently it would seem is aiming to offend whenever possible. This in turns leads me to my main peeve with the this film in its frequent use of the word retard, with the apparent thinking that the mental handicapped make for the best source of amusement, especially with two of the stories revolving around such characters. The film though is always at its strongest when playing things straight and not aiming for such crude stabs at comedy, while these misfire attempts at comedy can't help but bring to mind "The Underground Comedy Movie" which was yet another underground series turned into a feature with equally questionable results.

Surprisingly for such a T&A focused film the performances aren't overly bad, even if the girls are hardly being forced to do anything overly challenging performance wise, which can’t be said for most of the male cast, who often end up coming off like crude and overplayed but then the majority are played by Grasse’s brother Peter so chances are that Grasse was saving budget by having him play so many roles. Rounding out the cast though we do also get a number of interesting musical cameos with Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan really giving a standout performance as Satan, while Dee Dee Ramone makes for an interesting choice to play the pope, especially as he doesn’t exactly seem to know where he is as he bumbles from through his lines. Elsewhere we also get Dead Kennedys frontman Jello Biafra appearing as a sleazy porn producer which sadly sees him majorly underused.

The most interesting casting choice here though is Corey Feldman appearing here as, well err…himself. What makes his appearance here so interesting is just how clear it is that he had no clue what he was signing up for, which is only made the clearer when Grasse includes what appears to be footage of an unsuspecting Feldman slagging off the film and making comments about what a piece of trash it is and how he’s been made to look like a joke. True it’s hard to fault his reasoning especially when his contributions are so random and range from him busting some Michael Jackson style movies to having a drag race with an overweight Mexican masked wrestler. However when combined with the rest of the film it hardly seems out of place especially with the logic that this film runs on. On the whole though it is hard to tell if his casting was out of an obsession with his 80's glory days and that having cast him realised that they had nothing for him to do, of if it was to truly see what they could get away making his current career stalled self do.

Despite running for a mere 60 minutes the experience does feel a lot longer, yet it is hard to fault that there is still something about this film, in much the same way that there is with films like “The Room” and “Boardinghouse”. True it might seem like it is intentionally trying to emulate the so bad its good style of those films, but this film has enough weird ideas and general titillation to make it the sort of film that’s fun to dig out and maybe freak out your friends with.

The Lost Empire

Title: The Lost Empire

Director: Jim Wynorski

Released: 1983

Starring: Melanie Vincz, Raven De La Croix, Angela Aames, Angus Scrimm, Paul Coufos, Robert Tessier, Angelique Pettyjohn

Plot: When Police officer Angel’s (Vincz) brother is killed trying to stop a trio of ninja’s robbing a jewellery story, her investigation soon leads her to the mysterious Dr. Sin Do who is holding a martial arts tournament on his secret island fortress. Now joined by the native American White Star (De La Croix) and Prison brawer Heather (Aames) they head to the tournament with the aim of avenging Angel’s brother.

Review: Please allow me to start by saying that his film really is a true shameless guilty pleasure, was well as that this is actually my first experience with the work of director Wynorski who like Albert Pyun unquestionably has his fans and who over the course of the last 25 years has churned out over 150 films to date including possibly his most well-known film “Chopping Mall”. Despite this legacy this film has until now always remained one of his most elusive even to the director himself, who began working with producer Bill Dever in 2007 to track it down and re-acquire the rights, which has now lead to it finally getting its release on DVD.

Almost certain that this film could be both his first and last, Wynorski crammed into this film everything he loved, which it would seem included feisty attractive ladies, ninja’s, martial arts and questionable gorilla suits to all but skim the surface of the sheer random fun this film is. It would only be fate that despite being originally made as a tax loss for Plitt Theatres owner Henry Plitt (something Wynorski reportedly didn’t know at the time) the film would be so liked by Plitt that he gave the film a theatrical release.

Essentially a sexed up version of “Enter the Dragon” the seemingly also fancies itself as a female James Bond spoof seeing how it opens with the familiar Bond peephole which this time draws focus on a pair of large breasts. It should be noted that this is essentially a hint of what is to come as like the films of David Sedaris and Russ Meyer, Wynorski is unashamedly also a fan of cramming as many beautiful women as he can into his films and generally finding provocative situation in which to film them something which continues with his work to date. 

Still despite this it would be wrong to dismiss this film as gratuitous T&A as there is atleast some attempt made at plotting, even if most of it is completely over the top, with the last half hour of this film being especially insane to the point were I was left questioning if they shot those scenes first or if Wynorski had just thrown caution completely to the wind knowing how random the rest of the film was already.

When it comes to the trio they are more a caricatures than with any form of realism as only highlighted by each of their introductions, hence Angel busting up a hostage situation at a school by riding a motorcycle down the hallway and punching out a random bad guy, while Heather is introduced by a prison yard brawl against a bull whip welding butch looking female dominatrix called whiplash, which essentially an excuse to include mud wrestling in the film. The weakest of the three though is White Star who just shows up on horse and spouts a bunch of Tonto-esq lines which I guess is kind of fitting seeing how Wynorski uses her character like a sexy version of Tonto.

It should also be worth noting that while the setup might be as a martial arts movie, there is actually very little martial arts action to be found here outside of the occasional kick or karate chop. This is especially amusing when it comes to the tournament were the competitors are told to expect a series of gratuitous challenges which will test their skills, only for the next scene to show the girls running around the grounds and through cones alongside shots of the girls being star jumps and pretty much anything else involving jumping to make the most of their general lack of clothing.  As such the whole competition plotline is quickly put on the backburner pretty much as soon as it starts, with only one fight actually taking place and that’s between Angel and one of Sin Do’s generic henchmen.

To balance things out from all the slap and tickle antics of the girls we do get a half-baked romance angle between Angel and Rick (Coufos) who with his classy porn star moustache is generally used for comedic value as he spends most of the film hamming things up which always seems to be the tradition for the romantic interest in these kind of girl gang movies. On the flip side he does also help balance out the amount of scantily clad ladies featured and pleases those of you who want to see shirtless Coufos.

While I might not be aware of Wynorski’s work before watching this film, I’m now keen to see what else is hiding in his back catalogue of work as this film really was a blast from the start. Ultimately though this film is  mindless fun and the sort of guilty pleasure to sit alongside the likes of “Faster Pussycat Kill Kill” and “Return to Savage Beach” and with the self-acknowledging cheese factor that most modern b-movies seem to aim for as seen especially with the recent direct to sci-fi channel releases from the likes of “The Asylum” and after all what other film can boast a phallus shaped laser cannon?

The Sexy Killer AKA The Drug Connection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: The Sexy Killer / The Drug Connection

Director: Chung Sun
Released: 1976
Starring: Chen Ping, Yueh Hua, Szu Wei, Tien Ching, Chaing Yang, Chan Shen, Lin Feng, Li Peng-fei

Plot: When nurse Wan Fei’s (Ping) sister is hooked on heroin and abused by local drug dealers, she takes justice into her own hands as she sets out to take on the Hong Kong crime syndicates responsible.

Review: With such a provocative title it’s more than obvious what caught my attention about this little seen exploitation movie from the legendry Shaw Brothers Studios who unknown to most people including myself until lately, didn’t just make the Kung Fu movies they are probebly best known for, but also dabbled in a number of other genres such as this exploitation cheapie.

Essentially a Hong Kong remake of Pam Grier classic “Coffy”, while the plotting here is paper thin and more of an excuse to show what frequently felt like a stream of nudity, soft-core sex and of course being the Shaw Brothers a healthy dose of Kung Fu action. This of course is the standard fodder for Ping who like Grier specialised in playing tough feisty ladies, while at the same time not adverse to the occasional  shedding her clothes, as we not only see here, but in the handful of sexploitation movies she did over the course of her career. True she might not be as strong an actress as Grier which it is hard to not draw comparisons to especially with the plotlines being so similar, let alone both ladies affection for a shotgun.

 

Opening with a particularly sleazy scene of Wan Fei’s sister being drugged and subsequently used by a couple of sleazy gangsters, the film essentially establishes the tone within the opening minutes, while Wan Fei sets out on her quest for revenge with a strangely confident stance which sees her not only being able to weld a mean shotgun but also infiltrate gangs disguised as a prostitute with little trouble despite from all apperences having any kind of training of any kind to assist her other than pure guts and grit it would seem. Okay perhaps the plot in this respect should be taken with a pinch of salt, especially when the plotting is as paper thin as it is, while Ping has enough presence on the screen to pull of the role even if Grier does it better.

Director Chung seems to relish the sleazy atmosphere he creates here, especially when he frequently seems to be finding new ways to add to the films already high sleaze quota including a drug baron who likes introducing prostitutes to his home torture chamber and while Chung occasionally pushes these more risqué moments, there is ultimately nothing too shocking almost as if he was keen to not lose the film amongst the ranks of the numerous Pink movies being produced during this era. Still with such focus on the exploitation elements.

Despite the care free attitude towards nudity it is pretty surprising how largely restrained the violence is here and never exceeds what we have to come to expect from the Kung Fu output of the Shaw Brothers. Still despite being more restrained with the violence, the action scenes are not hampered as a result with Wan Fei proving herself rather handy with her shotgun, aswell as her dagger bracelet. Needless to say Wan Fei does kick a lot of ass while the ending while perhaps more subtle than you expect from this kind of movie is none the less satisfying which includes an exploding waterbed none the less, as she proves not for the first time that hell truly hath no fury like a scorned Wan Fei.

While its true that other similar films may have done this better such as “Sex and the Fury” or the “Sister Street Fighter” trilogy, but there is fun to be had here none the less, even if it is disposable at best. Ideally watch this as a warm up in a double bill as on its own will no doubt leave you wanting something alittle more satisfying.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec

Title: The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec
Director: Luc Besson
Released: 2010
Staring: Louise Bourgoin, Mathiew Amalric, Gilles Lellouche, Jean-Paul Rouve, Jacky Nercessian, Philippe Nahon, Nicolas Giraud

Plot: Desperate to cure her near catatonic sister, intrepid authoress & adventurer Adèle Blanc-Sec (Bourgoin) returns from her latest expedition to locate a mummified doctor, for whom she is hoping that oddball Professor Espérandieu (Nercessian) will be able to use his unusual powers to bring the doctor back to life so he, in turn, can use his centuries-old skills on the unfortunate sister. However in Paris Espérandieu is already causing mayhem with his powers, having brought to life what was a safe museum egg but is now a very active pterodactyl. Paris 1911 may not be the healthiest place to be.



Review: Luc Besson is probably the first director whom I can say was my first director obsession, an obsession which began really when I was still in school with films like Leon, Atlantis, Nikita and The Big Blue all which fuelled this interest in his work, which only continued to grow with each of his films which I hunted down, while in many ways being largely responsible for my ongoing love of French cinema.

Still the problem with being a fan of Besson is that he’s a director who seemingly doesn’t like directing, especially when his total body of work totals 17 films as a director over the 31 years in which he has been active, which I know might not make him as work shy as some directors such as Terrence Malick, but is still frustrating as hell to his fans waiting on him to direct his next film, especially when he has such undeniable talent as a director which seemingly also stretches to writing and producing, seeing how he has busied himself between films by writing and producing the likes of “Taxi” and “District 13”, aswell as also keeping a healthy presence in Hollywood with the likes of “The Transporter” and “Kiss of The Dragon”.

Still it is always exciting to have a new Besson movie to watch and needless to say I was excited to see this newest offering, which is based on the popular French comic book series by Jacques Tardi but has seemingly yet to find the same popularity elsewhere, something which will hopfully change with the release of this film, which is based on the stories “Adèle and the Beast” and “Mummies on Parade”. Besson has openly admitted to be being a big fan of the series and as such is the perfect director, much like Guillermo Del Toro was to make “Hellboy”. Despite not being the most well known comic book characters, Adèle is an instantly likable creation and while she may seem like a mash up of “Amelie” and “Indiana Jones”, Adèle is actually a lot more to her character for not only is she a female adventurer, but also feisty and self assured, to the point were she refuses to resign herself to any of the traditional expectations of a lady in 1911 Paris, yet at the same time refuses to dress in any form of tom boy fashion as is traditionally expected from this kind of character, but rather looks every part the immaculately dressed well lady of class and dignity at all times, whether raiding tombs in Egypt or hunting down a rouge pterodactyl in Paris making here every bit the kind of heroine which Besson favours, especially with his films having a legacy of producing memorable and strong female characters and Adèle is no exception to this.

The driving force for Adèle though is the true heart of the story, for it is drawn from the guilt she feel for her sisters condition, who has been in a catatonic state, since a fiercely competitively game of tennis ended tragically thanks to a stray hat pin and ended up leaving her sister in her current condition, leading her on a series of adventures to try and find the cure, with her latest hope lying with the mummified doctor of Ramesses II and his mythical healing abilities. However it is also a guilt which she keeps a closely guarded secret and in many ways explains for her cold front which she put across in the public eye, especially when it comes to potential male suitors, unsurprisingly attracted to her ravishing good looks, which is an attribute that Bourgoin easily captures, much like her complete embodiment of the role as she is completely believable in the role and easily switches between the various forms Adèle takes over the film, from adventurer to socialite with Bourgoin effortlessly making each change, let alone the scenes which see her repeatedly trying to break Professor Espérandieu, via the use of a number of questionable disguises.

The rest of the cast are equally game with former Bond villain Amalric, unrecognisable under a mountain of heavy make up and prosthetic’s to play the films main villain Dieuleveult, while Lellouche is equally fun as the dim witted Inspector Caponi, whose attempts to have dinner are frequently interrupted by one of the films supernatural events, with the tone of the film generally being a fun one, with Besson much preferring to have fun with these characters than put any of them into any form of serious context, while a noticeable absence of tacked on romance is a refreshing choice, even though we still have hanger-on Andrej, who harbours a healthy affection for Adèle even if his feeling are unreciprocated.

Undeniably this is a very pretty film to look at much like the rest of Besson’s films, with the effort being put into the details with an especially heavy use of practical effects and sets, rather than a reliance on CGI, which is refreshing only used sporadically throughout and mainly for the more fantastical effects, which ultimately pays off, allowing the viewer to loose themselves in the fantasy, rather than being sharply knocked back into reality by the random appearances of cheap looking CGI effects.

Shot with blistering speed it’s a fun and action packed 107 minutes, with the lack of seriousness in the plot only making it all the more of an enjoyable ride, especially when Besson keeps managing to surprising the audience by some new fun avenue to explore or just from the simplest of moments such as Adèle’s cries of “In my Arms” every time she leaps into someone or celebrity big game hunter Justin de Saint-Hubert (Rouve) dressing up as a sheep to lure the rouge pterodactyl into his trap and it’s the kind of film which helps showcase to the doubters, many who have frowned on his more recent efforts, will find it very much a return to form for Besson. Unquestionably though this is one series I would love to see continued, as Adèle is far too much of a fun character to be restrained to just one movie, so hopefully Besson will continue the series and take us on another equally fun adventure.