The Shallows

Title: The Shallows

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Released: 2016

Starring: Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada, Brett Cullen, Sedona Legge, Angelo Jose Lozano Corzo, Jose Manuel Trujillo, Pablo Calva, Diego Espejel, Janelle Bailey

Plot: Struggling to deal with the loss of her mother to cancer medical student Nancy (Lively) travels to the same secluded beach in Mexico her mother had visited. However when she is attacked by a large great white shark, she finds herself stranded 200 yards from the shore while being stalked by the relentless shark.

Review: Director Jaume Collet-Serra really is a director whose work its hard to place as while he’s given us films such as “Orphan” and “Non-Stop” he’s also the same director responsible for giving us the likes of “Goal 2: Living The Dream” and the “House of Wax” remake which so memorably was sold on the prospect of seeing Paris Hilton die. As such your never really sure what your going to get from him and while the concept and trailer for the film really gave it all the potential of being another disposable summer release this film thankfully really isn’t.

Stripping the film down to its key elements here Collet-Serra really crafts something surprisingly special as he seemingly knows that the real heart of the film lies in the battle between Nancy and the shark currently standing between her and the shore... and that’s essentially it. This is also what appealed to Lively who was drawn to the project when she saw the similarities between this film and her husband Ryan Reynolds “Buried”.

True it might be a big shark which continually torments Nancy but this at the same time this isn’t some gigantic creature with super intelligence, which makes this already miles better than the countless shark movies which have continually attempted and failed to top what Steven Spielberg achieved with “Jaws”. The shark here instead is designed with a much more natural behaviour for the most part with Collet-Serra really only letting it off the leash in the build up to the finale. As such the shark only attacks Nancy initially when she stumbles into its hunting ground, while her injuries only serve to maintain its interest in her.

Despite the fact that Blake Lively has hardly set my world on fire with her previous performances which always felt that she was getting by on just being the token pretty girl rather than anything resembling dramatic talent and yet she is fantastic here, especially when its a role that requires her to act by herself for about 90% of the film though she does get a seagull (nicknamed Steven Seagull by Lively) to chat with. While this sounds like kind of a drag here it actually works as we get scenes such as Nancy treating any time she has to perform first aid on herself like she is treating a patient, which sees her talking her way through each procedure which largely consist of short term solutions she can cobble together on the fly.

Seeing how Nancy only has her wet suit, jewellery and a strap from her obliterated surfboard to help her, its fascinating to see how she deals with a situation which only continues to get worse for her especially with the clock continually ticking down to high tide. This of course means we do get some cringy moments such as her pinning a leg wound together using earrings and her necklace and it surprised me to see how willing Lively was to play a character who is essentially brutalised by the elements for the film, especially when she does all her own stunt work here outside of the few moment of surfing which were handled by pro surfer Isabella Nichols who also taught Lively some of the surfing basics such as how to Wax the board and attach a leg rope to give it more of an air of authenticity.

Outside of the survival aspect of the story we also get brief asides to her family as her father questions her decision to drop out of medical school after her mothers death, while her younger sister only further cements the impression we get of her home life. We also get passing interactions with a pair of fellow surfers and her local guide which while they serve to provide potential saviours for her its soon clear that its going to fall to Nancy to get herself out of the situation.

By keeping the shark for the most part for the final quarter it really helps build a sense of creeping dread throughout the film. At the same time while it might be a CGI shark it is still miles ahead of the phoney looking CGI that the Asylum / Sci-fi have been lumbering their productions with and it makes for an effective threat by the production not skimping on this element, especially as we all know how a cheap effect can quickly deflate a production of any tension gained in its build up.

One of the big surprises of the 2016 release schedule this is a film certainly worth seeking out, especially for Shark movie fans left craving the same kind of thrills that “Deep Blue Sea” delivered. At the same time its tight plotting and brief run time stop it outstaying its welcome or becoming too outlandish.

Police Story 4: First Strike

Title: Police Story 4: First Strike

Director: Stanley Tong

Released: 1996

Starring: Jackie Chan, Jackson Lou, Annie Wu, Bill Tung, Yuriy Petrov, Nonna Grishayeve, Terry Woo, Ailen Sit, Nathan Jones

Plot: Recuited by the CIA, Insp. Chan (Chan) to follow leads connected to a nuclear smuggling case, only to soon find himself on the trail of a missing nuclear warhead.

Review: Despite being the forth entry in Jackie Chan’s legendry “Police Story” franchise you really don’t need to have seen the previous three to enjoy this film and hence why it was sold to western audiences as just “First Strike” giving it the illusion of being a stand alone film especially to cash in on the success of “Rumble In The Bronx” which had introduced Chan finally to audiences not familiar with the Hong Kong cinema.

While this film takes perhaps alittle longer than his other films to get going with Chan engaging in some espionage antics before giving us the first of the films big set pieces on the snowy mountains of the Ukraine with Chan wearing little more than a humorous seal hat for warmth chases after a suspect and it what really sets the tone for the film as here we get to see Chan really working at the height of his powers as certainly highlighted by the now legendary ladder fight sequence whose painful screw ups really only demonstrate just how good Chan and his stunt team are. Its during the traditional mistake reel in the credits and you also see that Chan really wasn’t wearing anything remotely warm during the mountain sequences when snowboarding or being thrown into icy water that you may find yourself questioning the general sanity of Chan to put himself through such things.

Perhaps to the benefit of Chan for doing all those snow sequences the majority of the film takes place in Australia were he soon finds himself caught up with the sister of the suspect he’s been pursuing Annie here played by Annie Wu in her film debut. Of course the general plot is pretty thin and this is especially the case with her character whose only real purpose is to play the damsel in distress while the fact she works at the aquarium really is just to setup the finale. This isn’t a major issue thanks to the general charm of Chan’s performance aswell as the fact that most viewers will be here for the stunts and fights than the plot.

This is a great film for newcomers thanks to the light-hearted plot let alone how frequently ludicrious it is to have a film which features an aquarium of man eating sharks and a final showdown which takes place underwater. This of course is largely thanks to Chan’s performance as he’s essentially the every man rather than the bad ass, its just he also happens to be a martial arts master. At the same time he taps into the same slapstick action energy of Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd especially with the fight scenes being focused on using the environment around him and making one movement flow into the next. There is no better example of this than in this film when he is attempting to escape from a pair of Russian thugs, one being played by man mountain Nathan Jones.

As I mentioned already the action is really the star of the show here and while it might not top what we’ve seen in the previous three films in the saga it is still inventive and unquestionably better than his current output were its clear as he’s getting older he’s less willing to maim himself for his art especially when those bones don’t heal as quick as they used to, but hey this is the guy whose had so many injuries that he can no longer get insurance so you can hardly fault him for wanting to take it easier in these later years of his career. As such its fun to see a film like this when he was wanting to take those risks. Here Chan is clearly trying to give the audience something they haven't seen before which might explain the underwater fight finale, while the snowboard chase and the apartment escape which sees Chan repeatedly running into closed windows all make for fun highlights.

Frustratingly all the releases of this film bar the Japanese DVD are missing 21 mins from the film, while also dubbed which is less of an issue considering the style of film, but you would think that by now we would be able to get the original version of this film which sadly is still not an option.

A fun entry in the “Police Story” saga though while perhaps not the best film of this period it is still miles better from his current output, while providing the perfect start point for the newcomers to his extensive body of work.

Sharknado

Title: Sharknado

Director: Anthony C. Ferrante

Released: 2013

Starring: Ian Ziering, Jaason Simons, Cassie Scerbo, John Heard, Tara Reid, Aubrey Peeples

 

Plot: A freak hurricane has caused hundreds of sharks to be scooped up in water spouts which are now flooding the city with shark-infested water. Surfer and bar owner Fin (Ziering) realising what is happening sets off with his friends Baz (Simons) and Nova (Scerbo) and bar drunk George (John Heard) to rescue his ex-wife April (Reid) and teenage daughter Claudia (Peeples) from the impending disaster.

Review: It’s safe to say that there are some film plots which only one studio would be bold (read insane) enough to attempt, as “The Asylum” prove once more here by bringing another fourteen year old’s fantasy to life, as they take a break from harassing the latest summer blockbusters, with their legendry Mockbusters from which the company has built its legacy on, having previously given us the likes of “Snakes On A Train”, “Transmorphers” and my personal favourite “Sunday School Musical”.

Seeing how many of these bargain basement style movies resolve around either sharks or hurricanes, I was half surprised to not see the poster for this one screaming “Sharks and Hurricanes Together At Last!!”.  Still since the Asylum got on the radar of even the average movie goer with “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus” they have made several attempts to recapture that same level of impossible to fulfil excitement they generated with a single shot of a giant shark leaping out of the sea to eat a plane, with previous attempts such as “Sharktopus” and “2-Headed Shark Attack” coming close, but it was when they released this image as part of their promo work for the film, that they saw that same level of interest once more.

Baring all the usual marks of questionable film making the Asylum have become so renown for the film opens randomly with a bunch of shark fishermen doing shady deals with an evil Japanese businessman, before they are suddenly consumed by a swarm of hungry sharks. It’s a random way to open the film, especially seeing how it has no relevance to anything which follows, but then the same could be said about the rest of the film, seeing how it flounders from one plot point to the next, as director Anthony C. Ferrante tries to ties together one random scene to the next.

As to also expected from the Aslyum they have once again dredged the has been actor ranks to put together their latest cast, as only further highlighted by the casting of Tara Reid whom for which this seems to be her usual output these days, having long since fallen from her glory days of “American Pie”. Supposedly she signed up for the film on the title alone, which would be more believable if the state of her career wasn’t as in such a slump, something I don’t think will be changing here seeing how bored she seems throughout. However despite not having a cast high in star power, they have still found a strong lead with Ziering best known for his years on “Beverly Hills, 90210” aswell as more recently performing with the Chippendales which E! Seemed to deem to be highly important during their coverage of the film. Still here is a likable and believable hero , while sharing a good on screen chemistry with both ex Baywatch star Simons and Scerbo, to the point where I was actually disappointed when they added Fins Ex-wife and daughter into the mix, let alone the random inclusion of his son whose appearance seemingly comes out of nowhere.  This threesome make for a fearsome shark fighting force, if alas one that can’t seemingly resist any opportunity for a disposable one liner. One Tag along member of their group I did wish they had used more was Barfly / Drunk George who is way to underused, especially with his  frequently hilarious antics such as his insistence on carrying his barstool around with him constantly, even using it as a shark club on occasion. While Heard might be slumming it by appearing here, he manages to make the character a much more likable character than he would have probably been had he been played by anyone else, especially when it character essentially consists of ramblingly drunkenly about whatever is happening around him.

Surprisingly for a DTV shark movie, there is a surprisingly large amount of gore on show, as the film for the most part avoids the usual sudden cutaways which seem to be current trend and instead gives us a few prolonged attacks and even a couple of shots of mauled limbs which made for a refreshing change of pace, even if most of the shark attacks largely consist of horrible CGI sharks leaping up at equally questionable CGI renderings of the character being attacked. It would seem though that director Ferrante’s man focus here is in finding a way to rack up as high a body count as possible, as especially seen during the opening beach attack which sees any character standing in 2 inches of water suddenly being attacked by unseen sharks.  The main gore here though the man on shark violence here, which is where the film really gets creative, with exploding airtanks, shotguns and even a cabinet being used to combat the killer sharks. Elsewhere Ziering gets to tap into his inner Bruce Campbell, as he spends the last quarter of the film running around welding a shotgun / chainsaw combo, both of which he proves himself especially handy with even diving inside a shark to minutes later chainsaw his way out!

While limited in the budget it is still largely an entertaining affair, while frequently intentionally hilarious due to its low production values, which see’s CGI rain falling on bone dry streets and the weather suddenly changing from stormy to bright blue skies. However if the film has one main failing, it is that it is let down by its script more than its effects seeing how at this point, most fans of the asylum’s output will be already familiar with their level of film workmanship.  Even with this expectation though the script only brings things down, especially once Fin has rescued his ex-wife and daughter which is also the moment that you release that the film is only halfway through. From this point it constantly seems to be the group moving from one random scene to the next as the film loses all sense of direction, before ending with a half-baked finale involving using home made bombs to stop the water spouts ravaging the city.

Unsurprisingly considering the amount of attention this film got on its release, the unimaginatively titled sequel “Sharknado 2: It’s Coming” (Surely “Sharknami” would have been the way to go) was pushed through pretty quickly, with the Asylum ensuring that they continued the madness is set to continue, while this film remains the kind of movie you might enjoy if stumbled across while late night channel surfing, but not one worth the effort of hunting down.

Jaws 2

Title: Jaws 2
Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Released: 1978

Staring: Roy Scheider, Mark Gruner, Marc Gilpin, Lorraine Gary

Plot: Four years after the events of "Jaws" Police chief Brody (Scheider) must protect the citizens of Amity once again when a second monstrous shark begins terrorizing the waters.

Review:  This week I found out something quite shocking while openly declaring my love for this sequel that I realised that there are some people out there who have actually never seen it! I know it’s hard to believe that a movie series which was so firmly part of most our childhood movie watching, let alone responsible for myself still not being overly keen on swimming in the sea all these years later. But as I looked at the glazed expression of my work colleague who clearly had no idea about this movie, I knew that it was time to revisit what is possibly one of the most overlooked and underrated sequels of all time.

True it was always going to be a hard act to follow a legendry movie such as “Jaws” which could easily be considered the definition of a perfect movie, not only in terms of storytelling and pacing, but also with how perfectly Spielberg tweaked each of the films shocks so that even a giant rubber shark could be turned into a creature of childhood scaring terror. Still with the studio having made so much money from the first film, which alongside “Star Wars” helped create the summer blockbuster phenomenon, it would only be a matter of time before they started demanding a sequel, despite the fact that the shark being clearly very much dead by the end of the first film, but such things are quickly glossed over for here is yet another giant shark to terrorise the residents of Amity Island, while the why, were and what the f**k of the situation are left to the audience to figure out themselves as Police Chief Martin Brody  finds himself once again having to deal with another oversized great white shark.

With Spielberg unable to be tempted back to direct the sequel due to a combination of the problems which plagued the production of the first film, which included amongst other things the fact that the shark keep sinking, aswell as the fact that he felt he had already made the “Definitive shark movie”. Spielberg’s decision would lead to a further 18 month period of pre-production, with the original idea for the film to be a prequel based around the sinking of the USS Indianapolis whose story had been so memorably relayed by Quint in the first film; however this would later be scrapped in favour of a more straightforward sequel with the inexperienced John D. Hancock being chosen to helm the film, but with his limited experience in the directors chair, having only helmed three film credits and small scale dramas, he soon found himself feeling the pressure of directing his first epic adventure film, while issues with the shark once again hampering production and with the producers unhappy with his material he was soon replaced by Jeannot Szwarc, who would later direct the equally cult “Supergirl” and “Santa Claus: The Movie”.

Set four years after the events of the first film with Brody having his suspicions that another shark has entered the waters of Amity Island once again dismissed, which is overwhelmingly bizarre seeing how much chaos the original shark caused, you would have expected the residents to be more open to the idea of a giant shark, but alas they’d rather dismiss his fears even major Vaughn who’d you think would have learned better after the events of the first film. Even Brody’s kids seem to have forgotten about the events previously, especially Mike who went into shock after seeing the shark in original, yet here they are more keen than ever to get back on the water, with Mike (Gruner) and Sean (Gilpin) heading out to sea with Mike’s friends and setting up the main meat of the story as they soon find themselves the target of the shark.
Realising that the audiences already knew what the shark looked like from the first film here director Szwarc instead doesn’t try like so many other directors to play on the element of surprise again and as such allows the audience to see a the shark a lot more than the previous film which only hinted at the size of the shark until around two thirds of the way through the film, when the shark was memorably fully revealed. Here he brings a much more brutal and thanks to an early attack sequence (which is also one of the most unintentionally funny scenes ever shot) a heavily scarred shark.

Cranking up the action from the first film, which kept it’s attacks sporadic as Spielberg played peek-a-boo with the shark in the build up to his climatic showdown, here Szwarc instead goes overboard with the shark attacks, while making anything potential game, as logic is pushed to the backseat especially when you consider that the film features the shark memorably attacking a helicopter. Such bizarre moments are rife throughout the film, as plausibility is largely nothing but a passing thought, while for some equally random reason Szwarc chooses to recreate scenes from the original film with a slight twist and hence why we get scenes like the discovery of an orca corpse almost mirroring the discovery of the girls corpse on the beach or the police boat being dragged backwards after it picks up a power cable being shot almost the same as the Quint’s boat being pulled by the shark at the climax of the original “Jaws”. What is most interesting about the scene were they find the body of the orca, that a year earlier the killer whale movie “Orca” was released which featured the orca head butting a shark in a subtle nod to “Jaws” that the orca was infact deadlier than a shark, with this dead orca clearly having been killed by a shark almost being like Szwarc’s fuck you right back! However despite a high body count, there is barely a drop of blood spilt here yet it makes zero difference as the tension is slowly cranked up by Szwarc who manages the near impossible of still managing to make the shark scary, even if the audience knows what to expect and even pulls out more than a few original shocks along the way.

One of the strengths here though is the amount of returning cast members we do get, especially with so many of the characters being so memorable it only makes it better that we get to see them again here, especially in terms of Lorraine Gary who once more returns as Ellen Brody and who shares such great onscreen chemistry with Roy Scheider, that it’s hard to not see them as a real couple and even though Scheider’s return here was only to get out of a contractual obligation he had with the studio, after he quit the role of Steven Pushkov in “The Deer Hunter” two weeks prior to the start of shooting. Still despite this he still brings back his grizzled charm to the role he made so memorable to begin with and despite his reasons for being involved in the film, he doesn’t let it show here, as his performance here is just as memorable as the first, even if it is more action orientated than before, with the scenes of him interacting with his family now nothing but an afterthought, for while the first film might have been as much about people as it was about the shark, this film instead prefers to keep the focus solely on the shark.

Despite having the imposing task of following up on Spielberg’s classic original, I would argue that blow for blow that this film is just as good as the original, while perhaps lacking some of Spielberg’s finesse it still holds its own when compared to the original and even with it’s more bonkers moments it still remains an overlooked classic, overshadowed by the god awful sequels which followed and as a result dragged this film down with them and leaving most people with the misconception that the original was the only film in the series of note and when compared to the shark films which followed in its wake this is a gold star standard shark movie.

2-Headed Shark Attack

Title: 2-Headed Shark Attack

Director: Christopher Ray

Released: 2012

Staring: Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, Brooke Hogan, Gerald Webb, David Gallegos, Geoff Ward

Plot: A group of students are left stranded on a deserted atoll, after their boat is attacked by a mutated two-headed shark. However the atoll is slowly starting to flood and soon none of them will be safe from the double headed terror.

Review: There seems to be something timeless about sharks which have made them the subject of countless movies, all of which have attempt in one way or another to tap into our fear of these perfect killers with the most memorable of these of course being “Jaws” which in many ways could also be blamed for sparking this fear in the first place, scaring most of us (myself included) so that we still ask if it’s safe to go back in the water.

Needless to say since then there has been a constant stream of movies wishing to capture that same fear that “Jaws” encapsulated and it’s unsurprising that this over saturated market has lead to a certain element of artistic license being brought to the shark attack movie, as each new film fights to be noticed in this sea of imtators and hence why we have seen more movies like “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon” and most memorably “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus” being released while certainly pushing the boundaries of plausibility and arguably in their own way leading to this latest mutation of the genre.

Scraping up another seemingly shameless group of no name actors and D-list celebrities, it would seem that “The Asylum” are actually spending more money than per usual with these latest production, especially seeing how I actually recognized who most of the lead actors were, with Carmen Electra being unconvincingly cast as the ship doctor, while we also get Jerry O’Connell’s brother Charlie and Brooke Hogan proving that she is none the more convincing as an actor than her dad was back in the early 90’s! Still this seems a far cry from the usual no names or cult figures that make up their usual casting fodder and even more shocking there is not even a former 80’s pop star in sight here!

The plot is as to be expected from "The Asylum" the usual b-movie nonsense with our scantily clad group making countless random, let alone questionable decisions throughout as it soon become clear that their only real purpose is to provide shark chowder, while our mutated shark surprisingly looks as if they have taken at least some effort with the still admittedly bargain basement CGI with some random shifts in scale throughout, but at least some effort has been made to make the shark look at times pretty decent, while also using a small amount of practical effects for some of the shark attacks, which while limited to just brief shots of it’s head, is still a refreshing change from the usual all CGI attacks which tend to plague most of the recent Shark movies and it only makes it more of a shame that they did not make more use of these effects.

Even more surprising though is that this is one of the few shark movies which actually delivers the goods when it comes to deaths, with the film clocking up an impressive body count, while actually ensuring that the audience get to see some frequently gory (if heavily CGI) death scenes, rather than playing the tease and cutting away at the last second, while what is even more of a rarity for these films is that it actually delivers on it’s promised box art in it’s opening scene, making it perhaps only the second film (the other being "The Beyond") that I could remember doing this. Still the death scenes are all kept within the framework of the plot, rather than just introducing some random nobody to help boost the body count, even though we do get some highly questionable decision making happening throughout such as the scene were the teens now stuck on the atoll find two working speedboats, but rather than trying to find a way off the island, instead use them for an impromptu speedboat race, let alone the fact that the shark is trying to sink the atoll by simply knocking against it.

This lack of disposable characters, however does not still mean that we get a huge amount of characterisation with Electra as the questionably qualified doctor spending the whole film sunbathing, while most of the teen cast are on the whole largely interchangeable with each other, with only a few select members of this group being given any kind of character other than “loud shouty teen” or "dumb jock", though perhaps the standout amongst this group being Cole (Ward), who is also the closest the film gets to actually having a bad guy, who not spends most of the film hitting on any random female in sight and flexing his muscles, but also has the ultimate asshole moment, when he literally jumps ship when he figures out that the shark is following the noise of his boats engine.

Helmed by Director Christopher Ray, the son of legendary b-movie Maestro Fred Olen Ray, whose most memorable movie “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers” Christopher Ray had an uncredited role in as “Kid in bar” and here continues his current partnership with “The Asylum” for whom he previous directed “Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus” and “Thor” cash-in  “Almighty Thor”. Thankfully he atleast has the advantage here of being given one of their original features which have frequently proved to be their strongest titles, rather than helming another of their now legendary Mockbusters. Despite this I still got the feeling throughout that Ray would rather be directing “Girls Gone Wild”, especially with the camera always seeming to focus on the boobs of his female cast, especially when they spend pretty much the whole film as skimpily dressed as possible, while unsurprisingly also ensuring that the male cast members are killed off first.

I guess it is impossible to expect high art from a film entitled “2-Headed Shark Attack” and it’s clear that Ray has the sense to realise this and instead focuses here on providing a largely fun movie with a generous amount of on screen carnage, let alone a providing some cheap thrills with its scantily dressed cast whether you want to look at girls in cleavage heavy bikini’s or guys constantly flexing, there is something to suit either taste, especially when this frequently seems to be more were Ray is focusing than on the titular shark, but compared to some of the recent shark efforts this is certainly one of the better ones.

Jaws: The Revenge

Title: Jaws: The Revenge
Director: Joseph Sargent
Released: 1987
Staring: Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest. Mario Van Peebles, Michael Caine, Karen Young, Judith Barsi, Mitchell Anderson, Roy Scheider

Plot: Ellen Brody (Gary) is still living on Amity, despite her husband Martin (Scheider) being killed from a heart attack brought on by the two sharks he had battled previously. Now living with her son Sean (Anderson) who has since become a deputy sheriff, she is once again forced to face the horror when Sean is killed by a Giant shark. Wanting to take her away from Amity, Michael (Guest) returns from the Bahamas’s, were he has been working as a marine biologist, especially worried that Ellen is now convinced that her family are being targeted by another giant shark. To help her recover from Sean’s death he invites Ellen to come back with him to stay with his wife Carla (Young) and their young daughter Thea (Barsi). However the shark is following them closely behind intent on having its revenge.





Review: Frequently named as being one of the “worst movies of all time”, which is kind of an exaggeration. I mean have these people never seen any of Noel Clarke’s films? Or even “Wrecking Crew” which if I was still rating films here on the blog, it would still be one of the lowest rated films I have reviewed so far, next to “The Human Centipede”. Still it retains it’s 0% rating on rotten tomatoes the complete opposite of the 100% rating held by the classic original.

The plot from the start is completely insane, especially as last time I checked, sharks don’t usually take the death of other sharks that personally, so for one to suddenly develop an understandable grudge against the Brody’s is certainly an interesting take on the term “Creative freedom” as you generally get the idea that director Sargent doesn’t watch a lot of shark documentaries, especially as the shark even roars and while the first three films were hardly factually accurate either, they at least didn’t push things to the same levels of randomness we get here.

Despite being offered a cameo in the film Scheider declined to reprise the sheriff brody, perhaps being down to the fact it would have seen him being eaten by the shark in the opening, a fate which now falls to his son Sean and leaving Ellen to pick up the shark killing mantle, which is an interesting decision, especially seeing how she was more the provider of emotional support, with the shark killing being previous left to her husband and son’s, not that their success in “Jaws 3D” is noted atoll, especially with the film supposedly set in a timeline were those events never even happened, which really is such a minor problem compared to some of the films flaws it’s almost unnoticeable.

Still Gary makes for a surprisingly strong and believable lead for what would be her final role to date and it really sells her paranoia, without feeling the need to overact and it’s a funny turn of events which see her working with Sargent again after they first worked together on the TV movie “The Marcus-Nelson Murders” which Spielberg citing it as the motivation for him casting her originally for the role of Ellen, which of course also had nothing to do with the fact that she was also the wife of the studio’s chief executive at the time.

The main meat of the plot, outside of the crazy shark stalker, it's essentially just a rerun of the plots of the first three films, with the shark showing up and killing off a few disposable cast members, while our leads try to convince the rest of the cast about the shark being there, before the inevitable final showdown and once again the only thing which has changed is the setting as we now get the warmer setting of the Bahamas, which despite Michael stating that Great Whites don’t like the warmer waters, it would certainly seem that this shark doesn’t have too much of a qualm in the change of location either.

What has changed here though is the violence of the Shark Attacks which had always been largely gore free, outside of the occasional detached limb. Here the shark attacks are bloody and visceral, with Sean getting his arm torn off in the first 10 mins, while the few attacks we get are frequently shot in slow motion as the victims writhe in the sharks’ mouth, spraying crimson like a burst water pipe. The strangest thing though is the despatch method for the shark, which depending on which version you are watching differs greatly with the US release having the shark explode, while the European release has the shark impaled on the bow of the boat (something I questioned further in one of my “Random Film Moments” posts) which lack either of the impact of the previous films finale, though the European release does atleast get to show off the sheer size of the shark, while seeming slightly more plausible than the sloppy editing job used for the US death scene.

The Shark effects vary greatly throughout, with the pole moving the shark being clearly visible on more than one occasion and while it’s clearly just a giant rubbery looking shark, it still has more presence than any of the cheap CGI monstrosities currently showing up in creature features, though Sargent never seems to manage to make it as scary as Spielberg did, with the best shocks he can achieve usually being from the jump scares rather than any of the prolonged attacks.

Frustratingly this film also has the lowest body count of the series and while the original “Jaws” might have also have had a low body count, the action between attacks was enough to keep the audience interested, were as here we get a lot of boring interaction as Sargent seems to struggle to find anything interesting for the cast to be doing, leading to him ripping off the dinner table imitation scene between Brody and his son from the original film, while also tacking on a questionable romantic angle between Ellen and the carefree airplane pilot Hoagie (Caine) who would have been a much more clumsy and irritating character had it played by anyone other than Caine, who manages to charm his way through the film, machine gunning off tall tales and bizarre life philosophies, meanwhile the most irritating character award goes to Jake (Van Peebles) who I can’t help but believe that they originally expected to be a much more humorous character than he is, but here Van Peebles is one of the few established actors and as such manages to do a decent job on damage limitation caused by this character, while his father the legendry blaxploitation Melvin Van Peebles puts in a cameo appearance as the local mayor and proving that there really is no limit for what some people will appear in to get a free holiday.

While it might be light years from perfect, there is still something likable about this last official entry in the series which effectively killed the franchise, even though rumours still circulate regarding a prequel “Jaws: Deadly Seas” telling the story of Quinn on the USS Indianapolis and we also still have “Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws” courtesy of the Italian Maestro of the cash in Bruno Mattei (the same man who also gave the world his own take on “Terminator 2”) aswell as more recently “Jaws In Japan”. Still the meantime we still can get our giant shark fix with Steve Alten’s “Meg” series the first book of which still remains stuck in development hell, despite frequent positive articles regarding the production moving forward, but currently outside of the barmy giant creature antics of the “The Asylum” it could still help bring the creature feature back to the mainstream were it is still sorely missed.

Random Film Moments #3 - Jaws The Revenge

Often regarded as the weakest entry of the franchise, especially seeing how by this point they'd given up on trying to disguse how fake the shark was, with one notable scene clearly showing the pole, which is moving the shark!
Still for some reason it has not only one but three intresting choices for ending, two of which I knew about for ages and the third I only recently discovered, but they probely do rank as some of the most original and yet extremily random ways of dispatching of a giant beastie ever. So first up is the ending I originally remembered, the first time I saw it.



What is funnier about this ending is that this was actually how you killed "Jaws" in the original NES game, which like any game associated with the film is pretty much awful though not as bad as this film.
Ok on to ending two which you can watch by clicking on the link, but seriously the shark explodes, like a balloon after being rammed with the front of the boat, which from what I can gather was the original US Theatrical ending. Still I suppose this is better than a version that I caught on TV last year, which just used the ending from the first film, so that Mike presses the button on the box and the shark explodes, only using the explosion from Jaws. Sadly I havn't been able to find this, to share with you all, so here instead is the trailer for "Up from the depths" (1979) which is yet another giant sea creature movie, but you know I'm just a sucker for these movies. Now if I could just find a version without so jackass Trader boosting the price of thier copy!

MEG & My Killer Shark Obsessions

Isn't it funny, how more and more books are being advertised like films. I mean I can't count the amount of times, I've been watching TV when a trailer for, what I assume to be a film to suddenly pop up, totally grabbing my attention, to the point that I'm probably willing to sacrifice my first born in order to see it, only for it suddenly turn out to be an advert for a book, which isn't a bad thing, it's just you can't help but feel slightly cheated by this. James Patterson in particular has become notorious for this especially, but recently I found a trailer for the latest book in Steve Alten's cult giant shark series "MEG", which for this release of the forth book in the series "MEG: Hell's Aquarium", has also been given the fake movie trailer treatment.



The film adaptation of the first book "MEG" is currently still buried deep in pre production, with the last reports still having Jan de Bont (Speed 2) attached to direct and Nick Nunziata (he of CHUD.com) attached as a producer. However a recent article in the "LA Times" also named veteran Hollywood producers Lawrence Gordon ("Die Hard") and Lloyd Levin ("Boogie Nights"), as being attached to the project, which can be seen as highly positive for the long delayed adaptation, seeing how they are responsible for "Hellboy 2: The Golden Army" and "The Watchmen" finally making it to the screen, after both suffering numourus delays and setbacks, so fingers crossed they can do the same for "MEG" which so far has only produced so fantastic Promo art and little else outside, of some extremely random draft scripts, one of which having the giant shark having wings!! Not sure how that would have worked out, especially seeing how the idea of flying killer fish, barely worked with "Piranha 2: The Spawning" (1981), so how it would have worked to have a flying 70-foot Megalodon shark, I'm not overly sure.

Still in the meantime Asylum films are set to release "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus" next week, which for those of you already associated with Asylum films and their DTV style of film making, you should know what to expect already........ but here's the trailer anyway.



And finally to wrap up this killer shark obsessed piece of blogging, I found this trailer for one of the numerous "Jaws" (1975) cash in's which appeared after the release of the first movie, which in it's wake spawned a whole heap of killer shark knock off's, which continue to this day, but this trailer actually has made me want to hunt this one down.



Still I guess this goes to prove once again, that even though I know the majority of shark movies outside of "Jaws" will suck, I will for some strange reason still find myself obsessing over them while hoping that one day we might see a "MEG" movie. Still in the meantime Steve Alten is running a competition, where the winner can get thier name, in the fifth book "MEG: Night Stalkers", which could lead to a random claim to fame, of having your character killed off by a giant shark...who knows?

Shark Swarm

Title: Shark Swarm
Director: James A. Contner
Released: 2008
Staring: Daryl Hannah, John Schneider, F. Murray Abraham
Rating: 2 / 5

Plot: A greedy real estate developer has been dumping illegal toxins into the sea around Full Moon Bay in an attempt to kill off the fishing trade and force people to sell up to him. However the toxins do have another effect on the marine life as they make the sharks more aggressive and hungrier. With the sea almost devoid of fish, the sharks turn their attention to human prey.

Review: Ever since Steven Spielberg made "Jaws" the majority of people have had an everlasting (and slightly misguided) fear of sharks aswell as setting foot in the ocean, while the movie exec's have also since then constantly attempted to recreate the formula, which made Jaws such an insanely popular movie

Ie: Giant Shark + Gruesome deaths + Decent shocks = Box Office Gold

Sadly enough all this so far has resulted in a whole heap of clones, none of which managing to capture the spirit of that original movie and while it's true some movies like it's imaginatively titled sequel "Jaws 2" and Joe Dante's "Piranha" which was more a cash in by producer Roger Corman and is already set for a 3D remake this year with "Switchblade Romance" director Alexandre Aja at the helm, but as you've probably guessed by now "Shark Swarm" is not one of these select few.Originally released as a Mini series by Hallmark, it has since been edited into a full length feature, much like fellow creature feature "The Beast" which was penned by Jaws author Peter Benchley, who ironically became a Conservationist after Jaws saw it's initial big screen release and upon seeing the public mass hysteria, choose to dedicate the rest of his life to protecting sharks, which he'd manage to demonise. "Shark Swarm" however chooses to concentrate on the usual general opinion of sharks, though atleast bothers taking a more unusual tact by having the sharks swarming, rather than turn into supersized predators which are the usual outcomes when animals come into contact with chemicals, if I've learned anything from the movies it's that much. Sadly though this is were the originality ends for the script, which after an initial bloody attack, as we bare witness to a shark tearing lumps out of another shark, the movie then quickly spirals downhill.The cast it's obvious from the get go are mainly were the budget has been spent, as well as some slightly repetitive footage of the CGI sharks, which look decent enough and aren't so shoddy that they detract from the film, unlike many low budget entries in the creature feature genre, which you can't say for Daryl Hannah who spends a lot of the film looking, as if she's has the emotion botox'd out of her face, as she struggles to perform even the simplest of emotions and no also providing us with the scariest moments of the film, when we are forced to endure a close up of her face, leaving it up to Smallville's John Scheider to hold everything together, as the hero fisherman of the piece, whose currently refusing to sell his property and the one thing standing in the way of the evil real estate developer played by Armand Assante, who for some strange reason towards the end, turns into more of a second rate bond villain, even choosing to despatch of Scheider's and Hannah's characters by lowering them slowly into shark infested water. all of which means that the actual sharks are shunted way into the background, to a point were they are fairly non existentent outside of numerous filler scenes of bloodless shark attacks, which are after all the main selling point of the feature, but when you have nothing but a bunch of death scenes, that are dryer than a kitty litter tray, with the camera often cutting away at the last second, you can't help but feel slightly cheated and not really giving much of a toss about what's happening elsewhere. The other main downside to the shark attacks being that, despite the fact that there are numerous shark attacks, nearly all the characters have only just been introduced before they are suddenly being killed off, none of which are missed much by the small town population, who don't even seem to realise that they are missing, even when it's characters like the cranky fisherman or the swimming teacher. Jaws might have only had a handful of attacks but each one added to and furthered the plot, while in "Shark Swarm" they are nothing but filler and seeing how around thirty people get eaten, that amounts to a lot of filler and just another way of reminding you that you are watching a movie with killer sharks and not some made for TV Thriller.Meanwhile I guess we must continue to wait for "Meg" to finally surface, which based on the cult series of books by Steve Alten has been stuck in production hell since 2007 with a release date for 2010, so until then we must continue to tease ourselves with the promotional artwork, which currently only tantalises us further, while the fans of his books have a slightly shorter wait for the forth book in the series "Hell's Aquarium" which currently is set to be released on May 19th this year, but no matter how desperate you are for your shark attack fix, why not try "Piranha" as although it's budget only really streched to a few plastic fish and some bubbling red water, it was alot more effective than this wash out.

Promo art from the long delayed "MEG"